Maybe This Life

by Grider, J. P.

  "Rick? How is this all possible? I mean, aside from reincarnation, which I'm still finding hard to believe, how did we...hop into the past?" It took all her will, but she was trying hard to open her mind.

  "Well, I've read about Astral Travel or...Astral Projection. I'm not sure if that's what it is when it happens on its own, but I've actually learned to travel to the past on demand...but in your bedroom, I'm not that sure." Rick started squirming on the bench. "I felt an intense...connection, I guess, when we were...staring into each other's eyes...I don't know if you felt it, but it was like we were suddenly plugged in to some electrical charge or something."

  "Yeah, I did feel that. I don't know, it's just so...crazy."

  "Mmm. It is." He fidgeted again, alerting Lena to his unease.

  "Oh, Rick, I wish I could just...shut down, disappear, until this all goes away and, like, wake up when it's all over."

  The soft tickle of Rick's fingers caressing her back gave Lena both comfort and butterflies. If only she could be on a regular date...where only one life existed in her world...and no baby existed inside her.

  "What is it specifically? The pregnancy or Richard and Angelina...or both?" Though she felt his compassion, she could tell he really wanted her to embrace their past history.

  But she wouldn't lie to him. "Both."

  His disappointment unmistakable, he smiled politely and pulled her close to his side anyway. "I will help you get through all of it. I promise."

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Though Rick returned to work later that day, his thoughts were only on Lena and her consuming turmoil. He should have somehow switched the subject when Lena brought up Richard. Overwhelmed with a new pregnancy to adjust to, Lena did not need to be burdened with a widely-controversial concept. Rick kicked himself for delving further into the subject of reincarnation with her. Right now her priority needed to be her baby, and Rick would keep any subject of their past lives in check. If Lena broached the topic, he would digress, so that her mind could be clear to focus on her immediate future.

  Since Lena wasn't in work, he figured it'd be a good time to talk with Pete, the cable company's Director of Studio Operations. It was time Lena got a taste of realizing one of her goals. "Hey Pete, it's Rick," he said when Pete answered his phone.

  "Hey Rick, how ya been?"

  "Good. How 'bout you?"

  "Not bad. What's up?"

  "I was just wondering, ya got any positions open over there?"

  Pete laughed, "Why, y'thinking ya had enough of managing a buncha techs?"

  "Yeah." Rick laughed along with him, but only to keep the tone of the conversation light. "No, seriously, is anything open there?"

  "Whatchya have in mind? I am losing one of my camera techs next month. She's enlisted herself in the Navy."

  "Wow, cool," Rick thought, thinking how different things are now than when he was in the armed forces almost a hundred years ago. "A camera tech position is exactly what I'm looking for."

  Pete let out a cynical chuckle this time. "You lost me, Rick. What do you want with a camera tech position?"

  "Well," a more serious Rick began.."You know Dan's new girl, Lena?"

  "Yeah, the PR rep?"

  "Right, well, her degree is in television. She likes it here, but PR's not really her thing. I mean, she's good at it, and Dan'll have my head if he knows I'm doing this, but...her heart's in production."

  "And what's in it for you?" The implications in Pete's tone were unmistakable. How could Rick get around having his feelings found out?

  "She's a friend, Pete, that's all...and I'd like to see her happy."

  "Mmmm, a friend, huh?"

  "Yeah, Pete."

  "Right."

  "Whaddya say, can she go for it?"

  "Yeah, of course. Have her give me her resume. We'd have to go through proper channels, but if she wants it, I'll see what she can do."

  "Great. Thanks."

  "No problem, just have her talk to Dan before she does anything."

  "Right, thanks again."

  "See ya."

  After the conversation ended, Rick spent most of the rest of the afternoon wondering how Lena'd take the fact that he pulled some strings for her. A timid girl a few months ago, he noticed lately a more feisty version of the girl he fell in love with. He'd hate for her to take his actions as an insult, but he would have to take that chance. She needed to know that she didn't have to toss her dreams aside just because she thought it was too late. One lifetime for that mistake was one too many.

  This time, Rick would see to it that Lena did not settle. When Richard died, before his soul went to wherever it went, he recalled watching Angie from the sidelines. He watched her mother beat her senseless and he watched her run into the arms of that loathsome Timothy, who reminded Rick so much of Vince. Deceased, Richard could not help Angie realize a better life. But Rick certainly could come to Lena's rescue now. Would she appreciate his butting into her life? Though they shared the same soul, Lena was different than Angie...more evolved.

  The longer he thought about it, the more he realized she'd probably take offense. For a man a few years away from forty, he sure felt like a love-struck teenager playing these little games. He had to call Pete. The receiver shook in his hand while it rang on the other end; he couldn't understand his own nervous emotions. "Hey, Pete, Rick again." He sighed.

  "Hey guy, what's up?"

  Betraying his now racing heart, he feigned laughter. "Um, would you mind calling Lena yourself and, um, asking her to apply for the position? I'm, um, thinking she may not like...my involvement too much."

  "Friends, huh? Yeah, I believe that...how 'bout I call Dan first and tell him I heard about his new employee's degree and wanted to...enlist her myself? This way, I won't be stepping on anyone's toes."

  "Good idea. I owe you one."

  "Nah, what are friends for?"

  The racing stopped. Calmness overcame Rick. Thank goodness. When he noticed time approaching four o'clock, he hustled to get some paperwork done, not wanting to fall too far behind. After work, he called Lena before heading home to Sparta. He desperately needed that shower. Fortunately, he'd had a spare shirt in his Jeep, but a good wash was essential. Lena would be having dinner with her parents and most likely, spending the night, so Rick had been instructed, kindly, to not bother coming down. 'Don't call me, I'll call you,' implied.

  From the center of his heart, he knew Lena would need time alone…knew she would retreat from Rick's presence, but disappointment still knocked the wind out of him. As much as he wanted Lena to need him, he had become much too obsessed with her well-being. His love, so deep and intense, he could no longer see beyond what mattered to her. Yes, it struck like a punch in the gut when she implied she would rather not see him, but her needs would always come first. If he could go back to 1917 and change things, he would take Angie and desert the country; escape America somehow, just to keep her near him. Hindsight meant nothing now. Angelina had already suffered that lifetime, because Richard had deserted her. In this lifetime, Rick would do whatever it took to stop her suffering. Her soul could not take much more. If staying away was what she needed, then Rick would stay away.

  ************

  After a full week off from work, Lena reluctantly returned, ready to focus on something other than her problems but not ready to see Rick. She knew she should have never brushed him off the way she had, but seeing him prompted memories of their supernatural step back in time. Too freaky to accept, Lena would rather repress the memory. Her daily nausea helped her to do so, since most days, her churning stomach stopped her from thinking most anything else. Though mentally she needed to return to a regular work schedule, she hoped, physically, she could handle it.

  The morning naturally flew by. Piles of paperwork kept her busy enough to skip lunch, and by mid-afternoon, she had finally made a dent when her in-house phone line lit up. "Hello, this is Lena."

  "Lena Giordano?" Said a man's voice she didn't recog
nize.

  "Yes. May I help you?"

  "This is Pete Taylor, from Studio Ops."

  "Oh, hi, what can I do for you?"

  "Well, I hear you studied television production."

  "Yes, I did. Why?" Confusion started to set in for Lena. What did this man want?

  "Well, we have a camera tech position opening soon, would you like to apply?"

  An unfamiliar thrill stirred deep in the center of her stomach. "Oh. Yes." She paused, not sure of protocol. "I would have to talk with Dan first, but yes, I'd love to. I can send you my resume." The rousing enthusiasm built so quickly that Lena, simultaneously, feared the crashing of another hope.

  "Great. Send it inter-office mail, then make sure to see Human Resources. It won't be posted until tomorrow, though."

  "Thank you so much." A grateful Lena hung up.

  As soon as finishing the conversation, Lena ran to the ladies' room to throw up. Splashing water on her face afterwards, she wondered how she could make this work. It would be a dream come true to get behind a studio camera; God knew how hard she worked in college. But with a new baby on the way, would it be impossible? Jules would help, her mother had already assured her of that. Lena smiled in spite of herself, allowing the burning desire in the hollow of her stomach to stay ignited. If all went well, she could actually be working in a real television studio, just like she'd always imagined.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  The months went by in a flash. By October, Lena had settled comfortably into her new position as Camera Operations Technician. Her twenty-sixth birthday passed with a spaghetti and meatball dinner and pumpkin pie, compliments of Jules. Lena had successfully repressed any thoughts of Richard and Angelina, but in order to do that, she sadly avoided Rick, ignoring his phone calls and knocks on the door. He knew better than to call the police again, but it made her melancholy, nonetheless, to hurt him. Lena had to look out for herself, though, and so she continued to shun the one man she knew who really loved her.

  Instead of concentrating on missing Rick, Lena threw her whole heart into her new job. Her boss Pete had been so impressed with Lena's work, that he'd promoted her from third camera person to first camera person within three months. Now he'd been talking about having her direct a cable program or two. Finally, Lena felt a sense of accomplishment. With one aspect of her life falling into place, she had hope for other facets to tumble peacefully into position.

  Today had been a quiet day, not much different than other Saturdays, but today Lena was racked with guilt. It was October twentieth, the day she would have married Vince Battaglia. The day she would have made the biggest mistake of her life. Never mind she'd already misconstrued her feelings toward Vince, thinking all he needed was love and acceptance to be a nicer person. In the end, her own empathy and compassion had taken her down the wrong path. Fortunately, by realizing her own self-worth, she'd found a new path, a brighter path. And though she'd secretly wished Rick were walking along with her, she knew it best to leave that relationship alone. Yes, having the courage to walk away from an abusive man helped her self-esteem, but Lena still felt too unstable to begin something new. Especially with a new baby coming in a few months, Lena needed to give all she had to the new love in her life. Her baby.

  As the fetus inside of her grew, so did the love for her child, grow within her heart. Gone was the nagging reminder of her baby's conception. Present was the unconditional adoration for the miracle who would soon become a living and breathing human being. A child, who she would offer her never-ending love and protection. Amazed at her heart's transformation toward her little one, she was extremely grateful for it, as well.

  A sudden crash tore Lena from her musing. Seconds later, what sounded like the shattering of glass and the tumbling of wood came from the other room. Her instincts were to run and see what was happening, but by the time she left her bedroom, she heard a thundering wrap on the door, before it crashed down in front of her…Vince, on the other side.

  Now, Lena knew she needed to run, but she couldn't get by him to get down the stairs, so she bounded for the window in her bedroom. Jammed shut. Instead, heading for the corner, she cowered, fearful of Vince in this drunken state. She needed to calm him. "Vince, it's okay." Trembling and lightheaded, she continued anyway, "I'm here...for you," she said, teeth chattering.

  "You whore." Vince vaulted over the bed, not bothering to walk around it, but rather heading right toward Lena.

  With her eyes closed, Lena could still feel him in front of her. His hands, cold and clammy on her wrist, she smelled the foul stench of alcohol on his breath. "Vince, no."

  He grabbed the back of her collar, the waist of her pants, and lifting her above the floor, he threw her across the room. Landing on the floor aside her bed, she hit the nightstand, its corner meeting the edge of her eye. Lena pushed herself off the floor with her hands, came to her feet, and bolted toward the door. Vince caught her in the doorway and tossed her again into the living room coffee table. Lena's forehead whacked it hard, causing a blackened room.

  "You're a friggin' bitch," he exclaimed, while Lena lay, near unconscious, on the floor. "Get up, witch." He kicked her in her side.

  "Vince, stop," she squeaked, trying to gather the strength to get off the floor. "The baby, please."

  "The baby? You mean that bastard? He ain't mine and you know it." Vince pushed her back down onto the coffee table.

  This time Lena got to her feet quickly, jockeying herself around Vince and making it to the door leading to the stairwell.

  "Who the hell were you sleeping with while..."

  But Lena couldn't hear the rest of his drunken rant while running for the stairs. When she took the first step down, at once, the sole of his boot on her lower back registered in her mind, before time stood still and she was suspended in mid-air. Toppling like a ragdoll down the stairs, the bottom floor seemed so far away. In an instant, everything was gone.

  ************

  Rick sat up straight in his chair. Something was wrong. He knew it. He felt it.

  Lena.

  Leaving no time to stop and think, he grabbed his keys and his cell and jumped on his bike. The motorcycle would be faster. Before turning on the ignition, Rick phoned Lena, realizing he probably wouldn't get an answer. Correct in his assumption, he started the bike and flew. Understanding that he needed to alert someone, he pulled to the side of the road and called Frank. If he wasn't at the liquor store, certainly someone would answer. After calling information, he got Frank on the phone. "Frank, I'm a friend of Lena's. My name is Rick. I think your daughter's in trouble." The words tumbled out in a rush.

  "Who is this, and what kind of joke are you playing?"

  "It's not a joke, sir. It's just a hunch. Could you humor me and please just check on her? Please," Rick pleaded.

  Silence met him on the other end.

  "Mr. Giordano, I'm going by instinct here, but I'm a close friend of Lena's, and I really think she's in trouble. I wouldn't kid you about this."

  Still silence, then a dial-tone. Damn.

  Rick pulled back onto the road, satisfied. Assured by the amount of love Frank had for his daughter that he wouldn't ignore Rick's pleading request.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Rick's heart pounded to the beat of the flashing of the blue and red neon lights set atop the cop car that sat in front of Lena's apartment complex. Barely putting his bike in park, he jumped off, not bothering with the kickstand, and ran for Lena. On the porch, Lena lay prostrate, encumbered in a brace on a stretcher.

  "Lena," Rick called out in vain. She wouldn't respond to his call.

  She couldn't. She lay there still, unable to move.

  "Frank?" The short, stocky man turned to the man calling his name. "I'm Rick. The one who phoned..."

  "What the hell do you know about this?" Frank, though half a foot shorter, grabbed Rick by the collar.

  Hands up in defense, Rick assured, "Not a thing. It was intuition, I get it a lot."
r />   Frank's furrowed brow alerted Rick to the man's suspicions, but Rick's collar was released, and Frank went back to his daughter.

  "Sir," the paramedic informed Frank. "We'll be bringing her to Saint Joe's in Paterson. There's a trauma center there. Would you like to come with us in the ambulance, or meet us there?"

  For some reason, Frank looked at Rick.

  "You go with her," Rick directed. "I'll follow. I can call her mother." Calling his wife was an obvious oversight during the commotion, Rick gathered. "I know the house, if she's home, I'll go over and get her. I can bring her to the ER," Rick offered.

  "No. Lena's never mentioned you," Frank answered. "I'll call her now. Um..."

  An officer approached. "Frank, I'll give Jules a visit. If one of your sons isn't there to give her a ride, I'll do it."

  "Thanks, Scott. Okay, good." Frank left with the ambulance.

  Scott the officer sauntered over to Rick. "Rick, is it?"

  "Yes." Rick held out his hand in greeting, but Scott disregarded it. "Rick Murphy."

  "You're the one who called Mr. Giordano?"

  "Yes." Knowing where this was going, Rick volunteered his services. "Would you like me to give you a statement?"

  Officer Scott appeared a bit taken back, clearly surprised by Rick's offer. "Yes, I would. However, I'd like to inform Mrs. Giordano, right now. Would you mind meeting me at the station?"

  Yes, I'd mind, I need to see Lena. "No, not at all." Rick comprehended his predicament; he needed to cooperate fully, so as not to give anyone the wrong impression.

  Inside the small Haledon police department, Officer Nagel instructed Rick to jot down his statement while waiting for Officer Scott.

  "Mr. Murphy, Officer Brannigan asked that you sit tight; he's on his way back now." Officer Nagel walked out of the room, but not before leaving Rick with a look of repugnance. Rick knew why. Guilty until proven innocent. But it mattered little to Rick. If the paramedics got there in time to save Lena's life, then let them think Rick guilty. He just wished he knew what actually happened.