by E. L. Todd
“You didn’t touch yourself this weekend, right?”
I was too depressed to feel aroused. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. “No. I’ve been saving myself for you.”
He buried himself far inside me with a loud moan then paused, keeping his cock in place for a moment. Then he started up again, but this time, he worked hard and faster, driving us both into a climax that made us moan together, our hands gripping each other tightly as we were overcome with mutual satisfaction and ecstasy.
***
We ate pizza right out of the box on the bed, both naked and hungry. I lay on my stomach with my feet in the air, on my third slice and still hungry. Ryker was propped up on his elbow. He ate a few slices then cut himself off soon after. He sipped a beer then set it on his nightstand.
We hadn’t said anything other than discussing what we would have for dinner. And while we ate, we didn’t say much either. Sex was the only time we really communicated, even though we didn’t say much either.
I wanted to ask about his family, but I knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it. Ryker was the kind of guy who didn’t move even when he was pushed. He was set in his ways, and nothing would change his mind. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me.
He stared me down and watched me eat my last slice. “You’re the only woman I know who can make eating pizza sexy.”
“Why, thank you. It’s what I’ve been striving for my whole life.”
He chuckled. “Well, you’ve accomplished it.”
I finished the crust then wiped my fingers with a napkin. I tossed the garbage inside the empty pizza box and pushed it off to the side.
“What did you do this weekend?”
“We went to an escape room downtown.”
“How was that?” He scooted closer to me on the bed now that the food was gone.
“Pretty tense. But we cracked the code and got out of there. Then we went to the bars.”
“Sounds like a wild night.”
“Thankfully, Zeke and Rochelle were there to figure everything out. They’re geniuses…”
“Perfect for each other. I really like Rochelle.”
“Me too. She’s cute.”
“And she keeps Zeke occupied so he’ll stop obsessing over you.”
I kicked him gently. “Don’t say that. It’s not true.”
He smiled like he knew something I didn’t.
“You think all my friends are in love with each other.”
“Because they are,” he said with a laugh. “But I’m glad Zeke is finally moving on. Rochelle is the kind of woman you introduce to your parents. She’s a good fit for him.”
Zeke never had feelings for me in the first place, but I wasn’t going to argue with him. Instead, I concentrated on the positive part of his sentence. “I like Rochelle too. Rex is weird about her, but Rex is just an oddball.”
Ryker raised an eyebrow. “What problem could he possibly have with her?”
“Says they’re moving too fast. Already introducing each other to parents and saying the L word. I don’t see what the big deal is. If Zeke has found the one, what does it matter if they’ve only been seeing each other for a month?”
“There’s more to this story than Rex lets on. Because his discrimination doesn’t make any sense.”
I rolled my eyes. “Rex is an idiot, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard. Scientists still can’t figure him out.”
Ryker slowly moved on top of me and kissed my back, pressing his lips all the way down my spine until he reached my ass. He kept going, moving lower until he reached my pussy.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed it, forgetting everything we were just talking about.
His lips moved back up again, sprinkling affection on me until he reached the back of my neck. He straddled my ass during his movements then pressed his cock between my crack again. He slid his mouth to my ear and breathed deeply, his excitement obvious in the way he breathed.
He pointed his cock at my entrance and slowly slid inside, moaning quietly as he entered me. “I can’t wait to fuck that tiny asshole.” He slid all the way inside then held himself on his arms, his chest pressed to my back. He thrust into me hard, pinning me to the sheets as he grinded against my ass. “But this wet pussy is just as good.” He fucked me from behind slowly, giving me long and even strokes.
His weight pushed me into the sheets, and I felt my clitoris rub against the bunched-up bedding underneath me. It felt incredible, and I just had to lie there and enjoy it. Ryker craned his neck and kissed my shoulders and my jawline, his breathing coming out deep and sexy.
I turned my face and pressed myself into the side of his neck. “Ryker…”
He picked up his pace slightly. “Sweetheart.” He moved into me for a long time, making me come along the way. He never picked up his speed because he was taking his time, making it last as long as possible.
Then we switched positions, and he rolled me onto my back. He hooked the back of my knees in the crooks of his arms and entered me from above. He gave me his entire length with the same pace, shaking my tits with every thrust.
He looked like a god above me, claiming what was his to own and rule. He pounded into me like I was his private possession to enjoy for the rest of time. Sweat formed on his chest, and the glistening of his muscles made him look even sexier.
He was going to make me come again. I could feel it.
Ryker locked his eyes with mine and watched my reactions. He concentrated on my eyes as well as my lips, noticing when I bit my lip from time to time. Sometimes, I whispered his name, and his eyes darkened.
My nails dug into his arms, and I held on as he continued to ram his cock deep inside me. I was always wet for him, so his cock slid in with ease. He still stretched me anyway because my pussy would never get used to his size.
“You look so beautiful right now…” His blue eyes were darker in color, appearing gray. Sweat formed on his forehead and dripped down his temple. He breathed hard through the exertion, his powerful chest expanding with every breath he took.
My fingers dug into his biceps, and I felt myself get swept away by the man who was pounding into me. I couldn’t go a weekend without missing him, and I probably couldn’t even last a day. My heart had been swept away a long time ago. I couldn’t recall the exact moment, but it happened sometime in the past. I didn’t want to hide it anymore, the way I felt about this man who had become so much more than a one-night stand. “Ryker…I love you.”
He continued to move into me, but his pace immediately slowed. His cock was still hard but the desperation to come was no longer in his eyes. His gaze was locked to mine, but instantly, his look was masked and impossible to decipher. He closed off from me immediately, no longer lost in the moment.
And he didn’t say it back.
He broke eye contact with me altogether and leaned farther over me. He pounded into me hard, like he was trying to finish as quickly as possible. I didn’t come even though I normally would have, and he finished with a quiet moan that hardly escaped his lips.
He stayed on top of me after he finished and caught his breath. When he leaned down to kiss me, it felt like that granny kiss we exchanged on our first real date. It was passionless and empty.
Then he pulled out of me and immediately walked into the bathroom. The water turned on a moment later, and I heard the glass door shut behind him once he was inside.
I stayed in the same spot where he left me and stared at the ceiling. Regret washed over me when I realized I said something I couldn’t take back. For a moment, I actually thought he would say it back. Was I stupid for ever thinking he would?
I didn’t like the way he walked away from me without saying a word. He jumped in the shower and turned on the water to drown out all the noise. But at the same time, I couldn’t blame him for searching for some privacy. I just dropped a bomb on him that he clearly wasn’t able to handle.
I wished I could turn back time and erase what just happened.
>
I wished I never told him.
***
I could have just gone home when he was in the shower, but I didn’t want to run away from my problems. It would be awkward until we talked about it. Once we got that out of the way, it would be over with. And after a week or so, we would be back to normal.
I sat on the couch and watched TV wearing one of his old t-shirts. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on, and I needed something good to cheer me up. But it didn’t matter how many times I saw Carlton dance—I still felt like shit.
After he got out of the shower, he stayed in his room for a while. My bag was still in there so he knew I hadn’t left. After about an hour, he walked down the hallway and made an appearance. He was dressed in his sweatpants and a t-shirt.
He stood behind the other couch with his hands resting against the back of the chair. He stared at the opposite wall where the mirror was and didn’t look at me.
I decided to break the ice. “I know this is awkward, and I’m sorry for making it that way. But I don’t regret what I said or feeling this way. I got lost in the moment and it slipped out. But I want you to know you don’t need to say it back. I won’t be upset if you don’t. There’s no pressure at all.”
He didn’t have a single reaction. His eyes were glued to his own visage in the mirror.
“I’m not upset with you, and I hope you aren’t upset with me.”
Still nothing.
Now I didn’t know what to do. He’d completely closed off from me.
I sighed. “Do you want me to leave?”
He bowed his head and looked down at his own feet. “No.”
“Then can we just move on from this?”
“I guess.”
I hoped he would give me a more thorough explanation for his behavior, but he obviously wasn’t going to. “Well…do you want to watch a movie or something?”
Like he hadn’t heard my question at all, he said something else. “Were you expecting me to say it back?” He finally looked at me for the first time since the incident. The expression in his eyes was different, ghostly.
“I thought you might, I guess.”
“Why?”
The question caught me off guard—because it hurt so much. “I see the way you look at me. I see the way we are together. And I started to feel this way a while ago. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to assume you might feel the same way. I know you’re quiet and intense, but you aren’t a robot.”
He bowed his head again.
“Again, I’m not upset if you don’t say it back.”
He tapped his fingers against the back of the couch.
“Nothing has to change. Let’s stop talking about it and move on.”
He dropped his hands away from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. His shoulders were tenser than I’d ever seen them. “Want anything?”
“No, thanks.”
He was gone for a while, probably enjoying a beer by himself in the kitchen before he had to face me again. When he returned, it was nearly five minutes later. He sat on the couch beside me but he didn’t show me an ounce of affection. His hand didn’t move to my thigh, and he didn’t even look at me.
Did I just ruin everything?
Chapter Fourteen
Rae
“Why do you look like shit?” Rex stood at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal even though it was five in the afternoon.
“Because I feel like shit.” I slammed the door behind me and walked right past Safari without even looking at him.
“Are you sick?” Rex blurted. “Because I can’t get sick right now. I need to be at Groovy Bowl every day, and I don’t have health insurance, so if I catch something—”
“I’m not sick.” Damn, he wouldn’t shut up sometimes.
“Then what’s up?”
“Nothing.” I walked into my bedroom and shut the door. Once I was alone, I tossed my purse aside and fell onto my bed, grateful to have some privacy to throw myself a pity party. I stared at the ceiling then closed my eyes.
Rex knocked before he opened the door. Safari immediately darted inside then jumped on the bed. He snuggled into my side and rested his chin on my belly, knowing something was wrong because he knew me so well. “Everything alright?”
“I’m fine,” I said with a sigh. “I just want to be alone right now.”
Rex continued to stand in the doorway, confused as to what he should do.
“Really, I’m fine. You can go.”
“I can tell something is really wrong.” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “And I know you need someone right now.”
“You’re overreacting. I just had a bad day.”
“I’ve never seen you ignore Safari.” He nodded toward the dog curled into my side. “I know it was more than just a bad day. So talk to me.”
I’d talk to Jessie and Kayden later…if then. “It’s really nothing—”
“Shut up and talk to me. I won’t give you shit for the entire conversation. I promise.” He walked into the room and sat on the small armchair next to my nightstand. He crossed his arms again and slumped into the chair.
“You don’t care, Rex. And that’s perfectly fine.”
“Rae, you know I care.” He gave me a thoughtful expression, a sight I rarely saw.
I sat up and rested my back against the headboard. “I did something really stupid with Ryker…”
Rex held his tongue and didn’t crack any jokes like he promised.
“I told him I loved him, and he didn’t say it back. It’s been awkward ever since…” I dragged my hands down my face in frustration. I should have kept my mouth shut but I was a dumbass and didn’t think.
Rex could have made a mean comment, saying I told you so. He warned me Ryker wouldn’t give me what I wanted, but he didn’t do a victory dance. “Have you talked to him about it?”
“Yeah. I told him it didn’t matter if he said it back or not. I wasn’t upset, and he shouldn’t be either.”
“And?”
“We didn’t talk about it again, but things are still awkward.”
Rex looked at Safari beside me and fell quiet with his thoughts.
“I thought he would say it back because of the way he treats me. I’m hurt he didn’t, but I don’t think it’s the end of the world. I just hope he understands that it’s nothing to be uncomfortable about.”
“As long as you told him it was okay, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Give it a few weeks, and things will go back to normal.”
“You think?” I couldn’t stop my tone of hope from escaping.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. I mean, he must feel really uncomfortable by what you said. But with enough time, he’ll stop thinking about it. If some woman I was seeing said the same to me, I’d be weird about it too.”
“Even if she were your girlfriend?”
“It doesn’t matter who she is. If I don’t feel the same way, it’s going to be strange no matter what.”
“I guess…”
Rex eyed me, his brotherly affection coming through. “I’m sorry he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“It’s okay…”
“But that doesn’t mean he won’t someday.”
“I know. I’m okay with that. I just hope he doesn’t push me away because of it.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Give him some space for right now. But he’ll come around.”
I clung to Rex’s words because I needed to believe them. I hoped my confession didn’t put our relationship in jeopardy. Even though we hit a rough patch, that didn’t mean I wanted us to go our separate ways. Ryker was still the man I loved, and I wanted to be the woman he loved someday.
***
I gave Ryker space for a few days before I finally caved. Three days had gone by, and I hadn’t heard a peep from him. Not even a dirty text message or a dick pic. I’d gotten a few of those from him, and I actually liked what I saw.
But now it was silent.
My impatience got the best of me, so I sent him a message. Mariners are on in an hour. Want to come over and watch it? Knowing Rex would be there might make him more comfortable. If my brother was around, there wouldn’t be any serious conversations or overwhelming affection.
His three dots popped up on the screen. Sure.
I finally released the breath I was holding. See you then.
I left my bedroom and walked into the hallway. “Ryker is coming over to watch the game.”
“That’s great.” Rex seemed truly enthused by that information. He’d never been so excited to see Ryker come over as my boyfriend. “When?”
“About an hour.”
“Alright. I’m glad to hear it.”
“You can’t mention anything we talked about. Act normal.”
“Got it.” He gave me a thumbs-up.
“Rex, I mean it. No pulling him into the corner and whispering threats in his ear.”
Rex rolled his eyes. “Dude, that happened one time.”
“It happened twice,” I snapped. “And there won’t be a third time.”
“Fine. I’ll behave.”
“Thank you.”
“Should I invite anyone else?” he asked. “Make it more normal? Kayden probably isn’t doing anything…”
“Nah. Let’s just leave it as the three of us.”
He didn’t hide his frown at the comment. “Alright…”
***
When Ryker knocked on the door, Rex immediately looked at me on the couch. “Should I get it?”
“No.” I walked to the door with Safari on my heels. I opened the door and saw him standing on the other side, in jeans and a thick black jacket. It’d been raining for the past hour. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He gave me a somewhat fond look, but it was nothing in comparison to the looks he used to give me. He stepped inside and wiped his dirty shoes on the rug. Instead of greeting me with a kiss or a hug, he turned to Safari. “Hey, boy.” He patted him on the head. “Long time, no see.”
It’s been long time, no see for us too, but whatever. “Beer?”
“Sure.” He walked into the living room.
No kiss. No hug. Nothing.
This was such a goddamn nightmare.