by E. L. Todd
He turned around and stopped when he saw me. That same look of guilt was on his face, like he hated himself for doing what he just did. He rested his arms by his sides and kept his expression stoic. But his eyes still gave him away.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to slap him.
I wanted to cry.
But I didn’t do any of those things. I squared my shoulders, held my head high, and looked him straight in the eye. With a steady voice filled with authority and power, I spoke calmly. “I feel sorry for you, Ryker.”
His eyes softened because he hadn’t expected me to lead with that.
“You see those guys?” I pointed to my friends who’d gathered on the sidewalk thirty feet away to witness the conversation.
Ryker glanced at them.
“I have people who love me. And I have people who I love. Ryker, you don’t have anyone. You don’t share your life with anyone. You don’t share your secrets with a living soul. You’re full of nothing but darkness and loneliness. I gave myself to you, I loved you because I thought there was something redeeming inside of you. But then the second something real happens, you get scared and run away. If that’s how you want to live your life, then I feel so bad for you. Don’t feel bad for me for breaking my heart. Feel bad for yourself for never having the honor of feeling love at all.” I stared him down without blinking, my body still straight and graceful. I was a head shorter than him, but I felt like a mountain. He hurt me. He shattered me. But I was still standing there. I was still breathing. I would have scars for a long time, but I still survived. “I’m going to find someone who’s man enough to love a woman like me. I’m going to find a man fearless enough not to be afraid. And I can promise you, that man will never be you.” I stepped away, still holding his gaze. “You made the biggest mistake of your life, Ryker. I can promise you that.”
***
“That was awesome.” Rex got the door unlocked, and we all walked inside.
“It really was,” Zeke said. “You put him in his place without even raising your voice.”
“I bet he feels like shit.” Jessie flipped her hair before she walked inside. “I doubt he could even get it up for her.”
“That conversation will haunt him for the rest of his life,” Kayden said. “If someone said that to me…I would have cried.”
I appreciated the praise everyone gave me, and even though I was proud of myself for handling the situation the way I did, I didn’t really feel better. My body didn’t feel strong anymore. If anything, I felt weaker. The adrenaline had worn off, and now all that was left was the cold truth. “Thanks, guys. I think I feel better because of it.” That was a lie. But I wanted them to think I was okay so they would stop worrying about me. I didn’t want them to know about this deep pit in my stomach that didn’t seem to have a bottom. “I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to hit the sack.”
“Alright,” Jessie said. “Me too.” She turned to Kayden. “You want a ride?”
Kayden quickly glanced at Rex before she turned back to Jessie. “Yeah, sure.”
“I guess I’m gonna take off too.” Zeke walked up to me and raised his hand. “High five for that.”
I smiled then slapped my palm against his.
“You’re one badass woman.” He pulled me in for a bear hug and gave me a tight squeeze. “No one messes with you.” When he pulled away, he gave me an affectionate smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Rochelle is coming over when I get home. I’m excited to tell her you’re doing better. She’s been worried.”
“That’s sweet of her.” She was the sweetest girl Zeke had ever brought around. “Tell her I appreciate her concern.”
“Absolutely.” He patted me on the shoulder and walked out with everyone else.
I headed to bed with Safari and shut the door behind me. Once I was finally alone, I felt my knees go weak. I barely made it to the bed before I collapsed. My heels were uncomfortable, so I slipped them off. I didn’t bother taking off my dress because I didn’t see the point.
I knew what was coming, and there was no way to avoid it. Like an avalanche that could be heard before it was seen, the pain started deep in my chest. It slowly moved up my throat and into my eyes and my mouth.
One hot tear escaped, and I knew that was just the beginning.
I never cried if I could help it. It was a sign of weakness. It was an admission that I’d let someone get to me. But this time, I couldn’t help it. When I saw him with that woman, I broke down. Despite the speech I gave, I was torn up inside. It hurt. It hurt so goddamn much.
I quieted my sobs so Rex wouldn’t be able to hear me. The TV was on in the living room so he was probably watching something, the speakers drowning out all the noise I made.
Safari moved closer to me and rested his chin on my thigh. He looked up at me and whined, hurting inside because he knew I was hurting too.
I stroked my hand across his head and felt my tears fall on the bridge of his nose. “I’ll be okay, Safari. I just need to let it out.” I cried because I lost Ryker forever. I cried because he didn’t give a damn about hurting me. I cried because I believed in a man who didn’t deserve my faith. I cried because I gave him my entire heart—and he didn’t want it.
One day, I would get better. But for now, I was heartbroken.
And I would be heartbroken for a long time.
The story continues in Book 3.
Click here to purchase Ray of Love.
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E. L. Todd
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