“Of course. You’re her father.”
“I know. But—” He shook his head as a pleased smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “What an awesome responsibility.”
“I thought it’s what you wanted.”
“I do. It’s a great idea. I’d be happy to watch her when you have to work. And not because I don’t trust that you leave her in a safe place.”
“I know what you mean. And since we both have jobs, juggling child care would be helpful,” she finished lamely.
He settled Annie more securely on his strong forearm. “And you’re right about swim lessons. In the E.R. I’ve seen way too many pool accidents with kids.” He hugged the little girl until she squealed to lean over and splash the water. “I don’t ever want to have to say ‘if only’ because we didn’t do something we should have.”
“You’re right.”
Em was very relieved that she wasn’t in this parenting thing on her own. Partly because when she looked back at her own life, the “if onlys” piled up like a multicar freeway accident.
If only she’d made better decisions when she was a teenager. If only she’d told Cal about the pregnancy instead of reading his feelings into the words he’d said. Show don’t tell. Everything he’d shown since finding out about his daughter showed her that he’d commit when his heart was in it. If only his heart was into her, Em thought sadly.
She watched him laugh with Annie and felt something tighten in her chest. He’d admitted he was wrong to judge her and that made her like him more. He was a good dad and a decent person. She’d loved loving him but it couldn’t happen again. If she’d never kept the truth from him, maybe. But she had.
He would never forgive her for that.
Chapter Nine
Cal peeked into Emily’s bedroom to see if she and Annie were finally asleep.
“Affirmative,” he whispered to himself as he pulled the door almost closed. He left it cracked so he could hear if they needed anything.
That morning he’d driven Em to the outpatient surgery center at Mercy Medical Center for removal of the breast lump. Her ultrasound had been inconclusive and the doctor decided getting it out was the best treatment option. He concurred.
So he’d waited with Annie in the waiting room while her mom went through the procedure. Stress in body and mind had sapped Em’s energy, although she’d put up impressive resistance when he’d suggested she rest. Not even pulling medical rank on her had worked. What finally convinced her was settling Annie.
Their little girl had a tough day with her dad. She’d hung in there with him until reaching a point when only Mom would do. Then Em had to be careful because of her stitches. Annie knew something was off and reacted by voicing at a decibel level only auditory to dogs that she was not napping by herself in her crib. So Em rested on the bed with her and now the two were sound asleep.
He looked around the living room wondering what to do with himself while he stood guard over them. Leaving wasn’t an option until he knew Em wouldn’t have a problem handling a one-year-old while recovering from her procedure. It crossed his mind that it might be just an excuse to stay, but he immediately dismissed that thought. If his daughter needed him he’d be there for her.
A knock on the door sounded as loud as a gunshot, and he hurried to see who was there. He opened up and saw Patty on the sidewalk with towheaded Henry in her arms.
“Hi, Dr. Westen.”
“Hey.” He stepped outside and pulled the front door almost closed behind him. A young guy was on the sidewalk in front of her apartment working on a child-size table.
She noticed where he was looking and said, “That’s Jonas Blackford, Henry’s father.”
“Okay.”
“I told him about you, how you checked out Henry when he was sick.”
Cal looked at the little guy in her arms who stopped squirming to get down long enough to look back at him. Henry was the picture of health now. “How’s he doing?”
“Perfect,” Patty said, lovingly brushing a hand over the boy’s white-blond hair. “But that’s not why I came over.”
“Oh?”
“How’s Em?” She looked worried. “She told Lucy and I that the breast lump was being removed today. We wanted to be there, but with work and the kids… Anyway, she said you were driving her and watching Annie.”
“That’s right.”
“So how is she? Can I see her?”
“She’s sleeping right now,” he answered. That didn’t remove the worried look from the teen’s face. “Only because going through the procedure took a lot out of her. She’s fine.”
“Really? Was it cancer?”
“The surgeon doesn’t think so.”
“Is there any way to be sure?” she asked doubtfully. “Her mom died of breast cancer.”
That surprised him. She hadn’t shared that there was a family history of breast cancer. More secrets?
“The mass is being biopsied,” he explained. “I’ve called in some favors at Mercy Medical Center. The lab is going to expedite the test results and call me.”
He’d been expecting the call for a while now but didn’t mention that to the teen.
“Will you let me know when you hear?” Patty asked. “Lucy and I are concerned.”
“No problem,” he said.
She half turned. “Come meet Jonas.”
There was no good reason to decline so he said, “Okay.”
Patty turned and walked over to the young man bent over the small table. “Babe?”
He straightened and smiled at the little boy who grinned at him. “Hey, dude.”
“I want you to meet Dr. Westen,” Patty said. “Remember, I told you about him?”
“Yeah.” He looked up and held out his hand. “Jonas Blackford.”
“Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and the kid had a firm grip. “Cal Westen. That’s a good-looking boy you’ve got there.”
“He looks just like his daddy,” Patty said proudly.
“I can see that.” Cal studied them. Jonas was shorter than himself, but muscular and compact. His hair was a darker blond than his son’s, but the angular structure of their faces was identical, as was the blue eye color. Henry was going to be a chick magnet when he grew up. “What are you working on there?”
Jonas glanced down. “A table for Henry.”
“And Oscar when he’s a little bigger.”
Cal squatted and ran a hand over the smooth wood top and sturdy legs. “Nice job.”
“Thanks.” Jonas smiled. “It’s just about ready for stain.”
“But that’s going to have to wait for next payday,” Patty shared.
Cal remembered strict budgeting way back when, along with tension and a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It seemed like a long time ago, but that was because he did his best to forget the drama, trauma and bitterness. He didn’t get the feeling that these two were anything but poor and happy.
“Uh-oh.” Patty sniffed her son, then peeked in the back of his denim shorts. “Someone needs a change.”
“Don’t look at me,” Jonas teased.
Patty laughed. “It’s your turn.”
They joked back and forth until Jonas finally said, “Seriously, I’ll change him if you want.”
“That’s okay. I can do it. You’re almost finished and I don’t want to interrupt.” Patty kissed his cheek, then disappeared through the apartment’s front door.
Cal looked at Jonas, trying to think of something to make conversation with a kid he had little in common with. “So how’s it going?”
“You know. Working full-time keeps me busy.” The teen brushed his forearm across his forehead. “I’ve got a break between summer classes and the fall semester, but it feels like a vacation. I get to spend more time with Patty and Henry.”
“Where do you work?”
“At the Suncoast Hotel. I park cars but I’m off today.”
“I hear that can be pretty good money.”
“What are you studying in school?”
“Accounting.”
“Are your grades good?” Cal asked.
“You sound like my dad.” He shrugged again. “They’re not bad.”
Cal wanted to ask how he kept up the grind, but he already knew. At the same age, he’d only juggled school and work because the baby part had been a lie. His own grades had gone up because he’d used studying as an excuse to get away every time his wife had pulled some episode for attention, a half-hearted pill overdose or wrist wound. After every stunt, he’d put a bandage on the relationship, then bury himself in classes, internship or residency and shoot to the top of the class.
His folks had taught him not to take marriage vows lightly and he’d stayed because it was the right thing to do. But Patty and Jonas hadn’t taken vows and he wondered what was keeping them together.
“So you like spending time with Patty and the little guy?” Cal asked.
Jonas met his gaze. “Yeah.”
No elaboration. “If you’re here all the time anyway, why not get married?”
“Because my folks are helping, and I want to wait until I can take care of Patty and Henry by myself. Both of us need an education so we can make a life for Henry. Just because we’re not married doesn’t mean I won’t be there for them.”
Cal remembered what Em had said about education. She was right and the teens were definitely taking her philosophy to heart. His respect for her wisdom and courage continued to grow.
Patty came back outside with Henry who was carrying a toy car. When he saw Cal, he dropped it and held out his arms.
“Hey, big guy,” Cal said. “I take it operation diaper change was successful?”
“Oh, yeah,” Patty said. “He’s a happy camper now.”
“Where’s Lucy?” Cal asked.
She and Jonas exchanged a glance before Patty answered. “Her boyfriend showed up a couple of weeks ago.”
“Oscar’s dad?”
Jonas nodded. “He says he wants to be around.”
“You don’t sound convinced.” Cal settled Henry on his forearm.
“For Lucy’s sake I hope he’s sincere,” Patty said. “But it seems to me that if he’d wanted to support her, he’d have been around when she was pregnant and Oscar was born.”
“Maybe he had a good reason,” Cal suggested, being that he hadn’t known about Annie.
Before they could answer, the door behind him opened and Emily walked out with Annie in her arms. Cal’s first thought was that she shouldn’t be doing any lifting, but before he could say so, Annie took one look at him holding Henry and started to fuss and hold out her arms.
“She wants you to take her,” Em pointed out.
“Imagine that.” He gave Henry to Jonas and took his daughter. “If I’d only known that jealousy was the way to win her heart.”
Like father, like daughter. Cal had last felt the sting of the green-eyed monster while watching his partner hug Em. That shouldn’t have bothered him but it did, although he refused to believe it was because he wanted her for himself. He wouldn’t be that stupid again.
“How do you feel?” he asked Em.
“Not too bad.” She rolled her shoulder. “A little sore. I’m just glad it’s over.”
“Me, too.”
The four of them chatted for a while, letting the children play and toddle outside. Jonas gave Henry a small piece of sandpaper and tried to show him how to smooth out the top of the table. But when he and Annie kept sticking it in their mouths, it was agreed that handyman skills would have to come a little later.
When Cal’s cell phone rang, everyone’s attention turned on him. “Yeah,” he answered.
“Cal, it’s Dennis from the lab.”
“What have you got for me?”
“The biopsy for Emily Summers that you wanted. It’s benign. No evidence of abnormal cells. Just your garden-variety intraductal papilloma.”
Relief flooded through him. “Good to hear. Thanks, Dennis.”
“No problem.”
He flipped his phone closed and looked at the three expectant faces. “It’s benign.”
“Thank goodness,” Patty said to Em. “I’d hug you but I’m afraid I’d hurt you.”
Cal’s sentiments exactly. “This is cause for celebration.”
“What did you have in mind?” Em looked as relieved as he felt.
“Barbecue. Your place. I’ll get the hamburgers, hot dogs and everything else.” He looked at the teens. “You guys are invited. And Henry.”
“Cool,” Jonas said.
On the way to his car, Cal glanced over his shoulder to look at Emily. She was smiling with the teens and helping keep the two toddlers out of mischief. The motley group was her family, he realized. By choice. The relatives she’d picked for herself. He’d always had his parents and brother, but their family dynamic was different. It was subtle but understood that you handled your problems because that was the right thing to do.
And that’s why he’d married his girlfriend when she claimed to be pregnant. Instead of a helpmate, she’d been another kind of problem and he’d done his best to handle it.
Emily helped the teens because she understood their problems and empathized. They needed her. Cal had gotten used to not needing anyone, but prolonged exposure to Emily was changing that. And he had to do something to stop it. Now that her health crisis was resolved, he could just be Annie’s dad, and only her dad, because Annie’s mom could rip his heart out.
* * *
A little after five in the afternoon Emily drove into the parking lot at Nooks and Nannies, The Nanny Network Child Care Center nestled between Maryland Parkway, Tropicana Avenue, Flamingo and Paradise Roads, not far from McCarran International Airport. She pulled into an empty space close to the entrance. The one-story white-stucco building had a red-tile roof and fenced in yard with equipment that included swings, a sand box, climbing apparatus and a playhouse.
The facility had an excellent reputation as well as impressive adult-to-child ratios that ensured a safe environment. As if that wasn’t enough plusses, her best friend, Sophia Green, worked here. She remembered telling Cal that Sophia had been there for her when Annie was born. She’d left out of her narrative the parts after the birth when Sophia supported her through the next six months of maternal confidence crisis. Her friend had been the voice of reason during hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation and everything in between.
Although she knew it was the right decision to tell Cal about their daughter, she also had Sophia to thank for the current emotional upheaval telling him had caused. Absently she touched her fingertips to her chest, grateful the lump was gone and had turned out not to be serious. The same couldn’t be said for her situation with Cal.
Em got out of the car and locked it, then walked to the dark double-glass entrance doors and pulled open the one on the right. A blast of cold air hit her and it felt good after the August heat outside. This building housed administration offices and separate rooms for meetings, Mommy and Me classes and community education workshops.
She turned right into the first office reception area noting that there was no one behind the desk. Probably the receptionist was gone for the day. Em tapped lightly on the half-open door and Sophia glanced up from her computer monitor.
Sophia had a beautiful smile but her gray eyes never quite lost their tinge of sadness. A byproduct of doing social work for the Clark County Child-Welfare Department. She’d intervened for kids who needed help most and could break your heart with their stories. The children she’d helped were grateful. The ones she couldn’t haunted her and that’s what had influenced her decision to work in the private sector.
Sophia’s reddish-brown hair cut in a short, shiny bob enhanced her girl-next-door prettiness. Men wanted her; women envied her. Em loved her loyalty and friendship.
She lifted a hand in greeting. “Hi.”
Sophia g
ot up and came around the desk for a hug. “Hi, yourself. You’re here to pick up Annie?”
“Yeah.” Because Cal was working and couldn’t watch her.
“It’s been a while since you stopped in to see me.”
“I know. I’m usually in a hurry when I come by. Things have been crazy since—”
Glancing away from her friend’s direct look, Em studied the pictures on the walls. The black-and-white photographs were enlarged and framed, arranged in groupings. There were no people in them, just outdoor scenes—ocean, lake, mountains and forests. This wasn’t the first time she’d noticed them, but it occurred to her that in a world where nothing was ever black and white, at least it could be that way in Sophia’s space.
She leaned a hip on the corner of her desk and finished the thought about why things had been crazy. “Since you told Cal he has a daughter?”
“Pretty much.”
“How’s that going?”
“Oh, you know.” Em shrugged.
“If I knew, I wouldn’t have asked. What don’t you want to talk about?”
“So many things, so little time.”
Sophia nodded. “Okay. Why don’t you start with Cal. How is he?”
Handsome. Charismatic. Sexy.
“He’s fine.”
“What does he think of his daughter?”
Em smiled at the instant mental image of Cal playing with Annie in the pool. He was playful, protective and positively awesome. “I guess I’d have to say that he’s pretty much in love with his little girl.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Sophia said.
“It surprises me after all the things he said about commitment being a four-letter word. I honestly figured he would say thanks, but no thanks and that would be the extent of our interaction.”
“But since you’re now too busy to stop by and say hello when you pick up Annie, I’d have to assume that he’s at least marginally involved in your life.”
“You could say that,” Em hedged.
“Care to elaborate?”
Did she have to? But Em knew any attempt to dodge the question would be a waste of time.
“Cal has embraced fatherhood enthusiastically. He’s learning about his daughter. He was there for me when I saw the doctor—”
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