by Amanda Usen
She swept her son into her arms, and left him staring at her ass as she walked out of the room. Knowing his role, he sighed and rose. “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he said for the benefit of the camera. There hadn’t been any cameras on them a second ago, and her response had felt so real he’d barely kept himself from towing her back under the pillows.
You can’t have her.
Icy reality provided a much-needed slap-down. His reaction to being in her home had thrown him off-balance, but it didn’t change the facts. She needed someone steady in her life, and he would never be that guy. The only thing he could do for her was provide un-domesticated entertainment intended to bump her ratings. Good thing he was feeling unruly tonight. Doing the opposite of everything she asked was going to be fun.
He chuckled softly and followed her out of the room, leaving the pillows scattered on the floor behind him.
…
Susannah clutched Billy as she walked toward the kitchen. He struggled, and she knew right where he’d go if she put him down: back to Russ. She couldn’t blame him. She’d give just about anything to be able to climb back into the pillows and pretend they were in a tent. No cameras. No witnesses. No clothes.
Footsteps sounded behind her. “You couldn’t possibly have put the couch back together that fast.” Irritation sharpened her tone.
“Hell, no. I’m not that easy to domesticate. Plus, you said we model appropriate behaviors, and the kid wasn’t watching.”
She’d wanted a minute alone to pull herself together, because the sight of him playing with Billy had unraveled her. Of course he was good with kids. She wasn’t sure why she was surprised. He chased challenges for a living. He was good at everything—except sticking around. She’d gotten an excellent example of that this past month when he disappeared off the face of the earth. She’d planned this show to be torture for him, but she hadn’t thought about how hard it would be for her to see him in her home, in her life, playing with Billy in a way his father never had. It didn’t seem to matter how many times she told herself it was fake, she wanted it to be real. She wanted more. Real more. Not just for the benefit of the cameras and her ratings, either.
She turned to look over her shoulder at Russ. The harsh angles of his face were even sharper than they’d been last month. His hair brushed his collar, but his jaw was clean-shaven. No rough stubble tonight. A shiver of heat made her hold Billy tighter, as if he could insulate her from her impossible desires. “Come on, Wild Man, it’s showtime.”
She led him into the kitchen. Holly and Adam were at the stove, his large frame nearly eclipsing hers as he reached around her to stir. Susannah cleared her throat, and they broke apart, looking guilty. She’d thought having them as a buffer would make the show easier, but now she feared that part of her plan was backfiring, too. She was happy Adam was making his move and Holly looked receptive, but their timing sucked. She didn’t need any more sexual tension heating up the kitchen tonight.
Susannah smiled brightly even though her cheeks felt like concrete. “I’m going to put Billy to bed. Adam, can you get them started on the asparagus?”
“Sure thing.”
She headed for the stairs, carrying Billy. When Russ followed her, she paused. “What are you doing? You’re on KP.”
“You’re my date. I’m sticking with you. Aren’t you planning to teach me those ridiculously easy domestic skills? Putting a child to bed must qualify. I don’t want to shirk my lessons.”
He crowded behind her, urging her up the stairs. Her camera crew stuck to them like glue, missing nothing. She hadn’t planned on Billy being such a large part of the show, but maybe Russ would be all thumbs when it came to diapers and pajamas. She could always hope.
He nudged her up the stairs. “Plus, I’m not sure those two are going to start what you think they’re going to start downstairs. The X-rated cooking class is an untapped niche. Do you have a lesson like that planned for me?”
She shot him a glare over her shoulder. “It would be wrong to push you down the stairs, right? Because I’m tempted.”
“Not in front of the baby. We can play any kinky games you like after bedtime, and if you need props…” He winked. “I’ve got a tent and a sleeping bag in my car.”
His sly taunt turned her legs to jelly, and she grabbed the banister. Laughing softly, he crowded behind her and molded himself to her back, a warm column of hard muscle that made every part of her burn.
Billy yanked her hair, making her gasp. Her back felt cold when she pulled away from Russ, and she fought the instinct to head straight for her bedroom and pile on the fleece. It wouldn’t help. Frustration built inside her as she acknowledged that fleece wasn’t what she wanted to warm her. She wanted the Wild Man. Naked. In living color. Playing his part for real.
She hurried up the rest of the stairs. “Normally, I’d give him a bath before bed, but I did it earlier to save time.”
“I’m not sure a sweet potato facial can be called a bath.”
“Very funny.” She laid him down on the changing table. “Have you ever changed a diaper?”
“Nope.”
She shucked Billy’s mini jeans and worked his shirt over his head. Russ reached out and stroked a finger over Billy’s pudgy arm. “Don’t worry, little dude. You pump some iron, all that will turn to muscle.”
Her heart contracted in her chest. She ignored it. “Keep one hand on him, so he can’t roll off.”
“He does that? The kid is fearless. I’m totally buying him a baby parachute.”
She ignored that, too. “Unfasten the tapes.” Mentally, she willed Billy to pee in Russ’s eye, but at the last second, she decided to have mercy. “Keep him covered unless you have a change of clothes in the car.”
“I told you I’d come prepared for anything.”
She ruthlessly suppressed the burst of tingling arousal that rose from her center as she got a clean diaper ready. “Okay, go.” Russ lifted Billy’s feet, and she gave him a quick wipe and settled a fresh diaper under and over him. She beckoned the cameraman closer, wanting him to get a good shot of Russ loosely fastening the diaper.
“If you do it like that, he’ll be soaked in minutes.”
She reached around to fix it, but he caught her hands. “I’ll do it. You know how much I love a challenge.”
He smoothed the diaper and cinched it tighter. The scent of lavender from the wipes filled the air, reminding her of what had happened in the tent, and her body reacted instantly. It wasn’t the first time she’d been body-slammed by memories while changing Billy, but it was different having the man who caused them standing right beside her.
“Is that good?” he asked. “Did I do it right?”
She knew he was talking about his diapering technique, but she was thinking about other things he’d done well and how much she wanted him to do them again. Right now.
“It’s fine.” She took a shallow breath and decided to change her brand of butt wipes immediately.
“I’ve gotta tell you, kid, it’s way more fun to pee standing up. You should totally get on that.” Russ made a face, and Billy giggled, reaching up.
“Careful, he’ll scratch you,” she warned. “Those little fingernails are sharp.”
“I’m tough, remember?”
She watched him catch Billy’s hand and pretend to chew his nails. “You’re not looking very tough at the moment. I thought you didn’t like kids.”
“This isn’t a kid. This is a daredevil, a warrior in training. Don’t let his size fool you.”
She raised one eyebrow. “A daredevil in diapers?”
“It happens. Don’t judge.”
Did he know he was killing her? That she’d dreamed of moments like this with her ex-husband, moments that had never happened? She had to get Russ out of here or she was going to lose it. Somehow, he’d turned everything around on her. “All right, Wild Man. You made your point. Children are no challenge to you. When we were in the woods, I did as I was told. No
w it’s your turn. I want you downstairs learning how to cook asparagus.” She grabbed a pair of pajamas.
Russ took them out of her hands. “No, you don’t. You want me to read him a story and put him to bed.” He worked Billy into the pajamas, doing it all wrong.
A sharp lightning bolt of desire froze her in place while Russ got the snaps in line. He smiled at Billy and held out his hands. Billy looked at her. The idea of Russ reading to Billy made her want to sob, but she knew her viewers would eat it up. Who wouldn’t want to watch a hot guy being adorable with a baby? True mommy porn. If she were honest with herself, she wanted to see it, just once, so she’d know what she was missing.
Slowly, she nodded.
Russ swept Billy off the table and settled him on his hip. “C’mon, little dude, let’s see what manly books you have on your bookshelf. Peter Rabbit? No way. Goodnight Moon? Are you kidding me? We need some testosterone here. Trucks. Awesome—this will work. And what’s this? Huck Finn with a bear and a canoe?”
He sat down in the rocker with Billy on his lap. “Jamberry has potential.”
“We only read one book at bedtime.”
“The first one’s just for warm-up. I need practice.” Russ met her gaze and his slow smile lit a fuse inside her, igniting vivid memories. He bent his head and began to read.
Luckily, the camera was focused on Russ, recording every adorable syllable, leaving her unobserved as she greedily devoured every detail of the scene. Billy’s pudgy fingers rested trustingly on Russ’s ripped forearm. His strong hand cradled her son’s belly, balancing him on his lap. They were absorbed in the book with Russ’s chin resting on top of Billy’s fuzzy head. Russ dipped his face into her son’s hair. No way. Did he just sniff him?
Lust and loss transfixed her. I want this in my life every night. Last month it had seemed so simple: find a guy who kept banker’s hours and wanted a family. Boom. Done. Happily ever after. If it had been that easy, she and Adam would be engaged by now. Instead, Adam was chasing Holly, his opposite in every way, and she was up here getting off on the Wild Man playing daddy. You have lost your freaking mind.
A month spent publicly ignoring his flirting while eating it up in private had driven her straight off her rocker. She couldn’t think about him without getting wet, looking at him turned her stupid, and being near him while he continued their ruse was excruciating. She craved him on a level that had nothing to do with what was good for her, and she could no longer deny the desire that had tormented her all month. If it had been that good without actually sealing the deal, what would it be like to have sex with him? In an actual bed?
Hers was right across the hall…
Arousal awakened every cell in her body. Her breasts swelled, and a heavy pool of need settled between her thighs. She wanted to be under him, wrapped around him, and moving with him. She closed her eyes and bit her lip to hold back a moan.
“Susannah?”
She opened her eyes and found both Russ’s gaze and the camera trained on her. Story time was over. Her face burned as she plucked Billy out of Russ’s arms and kissed him.
“Good night, sweetheart. See you in the morning.” She put him in his crib, relieved when he settled down without protest. Motioning for Russ to leave the room, she covered Billy with a quilt and checked the monitor.
“Did I do a good job modeling appropriate domestic behavior?” he asked when she joined him in the hall.
So good it seemed real. “A-plus.” She hurried down the stairs, probably leaving a trail of flames in her wake.
When she reached the kitchen, she saw Adam. It took her a second to realize he had both arms wrapped around Holly, showing her how to use a knife while the camerawoman recorded every smooth move.
Russ chuckled. “Awesome. Let’s get started.”
She clapped her hands. “Chop, chop, people. If you move that slow, we’ll never eat.” Holly’s eyes were glazed. Adam kept her caged against the cutting board, and took the knife out of her hand. “We were just killing time while you two were busy upstairs. Everything is ready to roll.”
Susannah washed her hands and gestured for Russ to do the same. Then she opened the refrigerator. Her perfectly planned show was spiraling out of control. She’d intended to make the Wild Man squirm as she smothered him with domesticity, but she was the one climbing out of her skin. Now she knew how Russ had felt in the woods. How on earth could she get things back on track? She pretended to search for ingredients as she scrambled for a new plan.
When it came to her, it was so simple, it took her breath away. If you can’t beat them, join them. She’d take a page from Russ’s mountain playbook and start trying to make him look good. It wasn’t necessary to engineer the show to film their breakup. She didn’t need to drive him away; he’d leave all on his own, and there was absolutely no reason she shouldn’t enjoy herself until he left.
No reason at all. Anticipation sparked in her belly and moved up to her breasts and down through her thighs. She turned around, caught his gaze, and smiled.
…
Russ nearly staggered when he saw the heat in Susannah’s gaze. A minute ago, she’d been looking at him as if she wanted to take him apart. Now she was looking at him like she wanted to do something else, and the fire in her dark eyes sent blood rushing south. He was hard in an instant.
Shit. What was happening to him? He’d wanted to sit in that rocking chair with Billy on his lap so bad he might have fallen to his knees and begged if Susannah had said no, but that fierce desire didn’t even compare to how bad he wanted her. If she hadn’t blazed down the stairs so fast, he might have thrown her over his shoulder and kicked down doors until he found her bedroom. If she kept looking at him like that, he was going to do it now.
“Who’s grilling?” Adam asked.
Russ bit back a growl as Susannah turned her smile on the other man.
“The Wild Man, of course. He claims food tastes best cooked over an open flame, so I thought I’d give him a chance to prove it.”
When she handed him a pair of tongs, her fingers deliberately caressed his, and he caught her hand, pulling her closer. She melted against him, and he fought the urge to take her straight down to the tile floor. What game was she playing? This was nothing like the fake-enthusiasm she’d hit him with at the door or the grudging tolerance she’d shown him upstairs. This felt real, tent-real, pillow-fort-real, so real he needed to keep her body between him and the camera. “Unless you want me to start a fire on your counter, you’d better show me how to work your fancy grill, Susie.” So they could get this over with and he could get the hell out of here before he forgot it couldn’t be real. Again.
She looked over her shoulder. “It’s already hot.” His hands clenched on her hips, and only the thought of the cameras kept him from lowering his face into her neck and tasting the soft skin he’d been dreaming about for a month.
He couldn’t resist whispering, “The grill isn’t the only thing.”
She peeled his hands away from her hips and took several steps away from him. Her cheeks were pink as she launched into an explanation of the menu and the steps needed to get it on the table. He was sure viewers would appreciate the simple recipes, but all he could think about was how he could get his hands on her again.
“Hey—Wild Man. The meat isn’t going to grill itself.” She gestured at a tray of raw meat on the counter.
Automatically, he began laying meat on the grill.
Susannah turned back to the camera. “I’ll admit I was hoping Russ would be useless with kids and a nightmare in the kitchen. Domesticating the Wild Man was too tempting to resist, but I underestimated his ability to rise to the challenge. Ladies and gentlemen, he played with my son, read him a story, and put him to bed. Let’s be honest, if he can do that, he can probably grill steaks, make loaded potato salad, cook asparagus, and whip up a balsamic vinaigrette that will be delicious with all three menu items. I bet he can do the dishes, wipe down the counters, and deliver dessert to the
couch after he tells me to choose something to watch on television, too.” She sighed. “I’d hoped to make him fumble and flail like I did in the snow, but this is way better. I hope all of you will try this at home, so I’ll post the recipes for the busy mother’s dream date on my website this week. Meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy every minute of having the Wild Man in my kitchen.” She gave him a look that seared him harder than the heat of the grill and then calmly turned back to the camera and began to list the ingredients in the steak marinade.
His brain sizzled as she coached him through timing the meat while she coordinated the meal and demonstrated recipes for the other items on the menu. She’s playing a role, dumbass. The simmering pot on the stove held potatoes, which she dumped into a colander in the sink to cool. It was hard to keep his mind on the steaks with her voice constantly caressing him, and it got worse when she walked over to poke the filets.
“Two more minutes, tops, for medium-rare.” Her explanation for how to tell when meat was done had him clenching his teeth at the memory of her palm wrapped around his meat, so he tuned in to what was happening on the other side of the kitchen, where Adam and Holly were setting the table. He watched them for a minute, amazed the plates were hitting the table at all since they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. Their not-so-subtle mating dance wasn’t helping his situation, so he went back to watching Susannah, who was totally in her element as she moved from stove to grill to counter, explaining each step. Might as well surrender to the pain. He watched her stir chopped bacon, blue cheese, chives, and sour cream into the potatoes. Maybe focusing on the food would help.
“Need a hand, Susannah?” Adam called.
Russ wanted to roll his eyes because it looked like the guy had both hands full.