by Cate Beauman
~~~~
Shane nestled his face against Reagan’s neck as they both caught their breath. He kissed her soft skin where her pulse pounded, then her jaw, and then her lips swollen from his. “This wasn’t the plan for tonight when I asked you to have dinner.”
“I know.”
He brushed the hair back from her damp forehead, unable to stop touching her even as he still lay inside her. “I don’t hate that it happened, but sex definitely wasn’t on the agenda.”
She sent him a small smile. “I know, Shane.”
“I missed this. I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
Her eyes were still dark with passion, her cheeks rosy from the heat they brought each other. “I’m sorry I left. I never should’ve left.”
She stroked her fingers up and down his back. “You needed to go. You had a job to do. I understand that. Ethan was depending on you.”
He shook his head. “So were you.”
“We knew all along you had twelve weeks in The Gap. You never made promises you couldn’t keep.”
“If I’d had any idea you were dealing with all this—”
“But you didn’t. I didn’t tell anyone.”
“The stuff with Henry—that happened before I left.”
She nodded. “The day you told me you had to go.”
“Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you let me help you?”
“Because there was nothing you could do.” She traced his ear with her fingertips.
“I could’ve shared the burden for starters.”
“I didn’t want you to. I know you, Shane. If I had mentioned Henry, you wouldn’t have gotten on your plane. You would’ve given up your career for something I could handle on my own.”
“You handle too much on your own.” He thought back to her list of secrets, remembering the flash of hurt he’d seen when he brought up the little girl who died. “What happened in New York?”
Seconds passed as she stared into his eyes, then turned her head on the pillow, sighing.
He pressed another kiss to her neck in comfort and laced their fingers. “What happened, Reagan?”
“I killed Mable.”
“I don’t believe that.”
She looked at him. “Not intentionally, but I did.”
“Tell me.”
“She and her family were in a horrible car accident. Her father was dead at the scene, and her brother died at the hospital. I’d just finished my shift when three calls rang down on my pager. The whole night had been crazy. I hurried to see if I could help right as Mable’s ambulance pulled up—possible concussion. That was all it was supposed to be.” She blinked as her eyes grew misty. “She was so pretty—big blue eyes and peaches-and-cream skin. Visually she looked good—just a bloody lip and a bruise on the temple. She conversed well and her physical examination was unremarkable except for the seatbelt bruising across her chest and hip. I put in for a CT scan—just to be cautious, but she was sixth in line behind the stabbings and gunshot wounds.”
He gripped her hands tighter as her voice grew strained and her eyes more troubled.
“She and I colored while her mother dealt with the news of Mable’s brother. She told me they were on vacation—on the way to the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty. She drew a picture of her family—four smiling faces—then she set down her crayon and said her stomach hurt. I felt her abdomen again and realized she had a splenic rupture. I called a code and we raced her to OR, but she bled out before Doctor V. could get in and repair her.” She sniffled as tears slid down her temples.
“I’m so sorry, Reagan.”
“I can still hear her mother screaming at me. She told me I killed her baby.” More tears flowed.
“No you didn’t.”
She nodded. “She had undiagnosed mono, which can cause the spleen to enlarge. They think the impact of the crash started an undetectable slow bleed that eventually turned catastrophic, but I should’ve felt it when I palpated her abdomen. I should’ve paid more attention and looked closer for distention.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I didn’t.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “But if I could go back and change it… I would give anything to go back.”
He ached for the kind woman whose big heart was clearly broken for someone else’s child. “Of course you would.”
“I almost lost my license, but then there was the formal investigation, which found me not at fault. I wanted to come here and make a difference. I needed to make up for losing a life that I should’ve saved.”
“You’ve done so much for these people.”
She shook her head. “I tried, but it doesn’t feel like enough.” She swallowed. “I don’t—I don’t know if I can do it anymore—practice medicine, especially in the ER.”
“You’re such a good doctor, Reagan.”
“I’m not so sure. Mable died, and everything here has been a disaster. Maybe it’s time to move on.”
“I’d hate to see you give up something you’re so damn good at, but I’m going to support whatever you choose. If you want to stay home for a while and figure out what’s next, we’ll make it happen.”
She smiled. “How did I make it through the last month without you?” She wrapped her arms around him. “Why do you always know just what to say to make me feel better?”
“Because I love you.” He stroked her cheek as he stared into her eyes.
“Shane—”
“I’ve never needed anyone the way I need you. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
She licked her lips. “I want and need you too. It scares me. I’ve always depended on myself, even as a little girl. Then you came along, and nothing’s been the same since.”
“Good.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“It’s good, Reagan. When you find the person you want to be with, I don’t think anything should be the same. I love you,” he said again waiting for her to say it back, absorbing the pain when she didn’t. He cleared his throat in the awkward silence. “Okay. I guess—”
“I can’t give you children.” Her lips trembled. “I more than likely will never be able to get pregnant.”
Was that what this was about? “So we’ll find another specialist, and there’s that in vitro thing. One of my sister’s friends ended up with twins.”
“But it might not work.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t care.”
“I do. You’re wonderful with kids. You should have your own.”
“We have two at this point.” He gestured to Jenny’s wall. “And there’s always adoption. I can live without making babies, Reagan, but I absolutely can’t live without you. I love you.”
Her eyes filled as her breathing grew unsteady, but she still wouldn’t say it back.
He shook his head and pulled away as her silence ripped at his heart.
“Shane, wait.” She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him in place. “I’m sorry. I’m scared. I’m terrified, but I’m so in love with you.”
He closed his eyes, sighing out a breath, resting his forehead against hers.
“There’s so much going on.” She kissed him. “But I don’t want you falling asleep tonight thinking that I’m not crazy, madly in love with you.”
“Crazy, madly in love?”
She nodded, smiling. “I’d definitely say crazy, madly.”
He tucked her hair behind her ears. “Doc loves me so much she’s crazy.”
She chuckled. “Agreed.”
He turned off the light and entered her again, savoring her long moan. “Let’s see if we can add a few more descriptors to our list.”
She gripped his ass and snagged his bottom lip. “Like ‘wild.’”
He grinned as his hormones shot into overdrive. “I think ‘wild’ is a good one.” He slid his fingers down, rubbing them against her, making her suck in a breath as he played her and nipped her jaw wi
th his teeth. “But I think I’m going to try for ‘insane.’” Moving his hand in firm, steady circles, he sent her over fast and hard. “Yup, I’m definitely thinking of trying for insanity, so you should probably hold on.”
“I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be insane,” she said breathily.
“Let’s find out.
Their mouths met in a frenzy of passion, and he effectively destroyed them both with one hell of a ride.
Chapter Thirty-seven
A quiet creaking noise registered through the haze of exhaustion, waking Shane out of a deep sleep. He opened his eyes, reaching for Reagan, and realized she was gone. “Reagan?” He sat up.
“I’m right here,” she said, standing by her dresser.
He blinked in the dark, scrubbing his hands over his face. “What are you doing?”
“I was thirsty.” She drank more water from her glass. “Do you want a sip?”
“Yeah, sure.” He took the glass she offered, swallowing a cool gulp. “Thanks.”
Reagan reached in her drawer, pulled out panties, and put them on. Short shorts came next and a spaghetti-strap top.
“Now what are you doing?”
“They call this getting dressed,” she teased.
Grinning, he set the glass on the side table. “Why would you want to go and do that? I’m just going to have to take those clothes off you.”
She arched her brows. “You think so?”
“Absolutely.”
“Mr. Harper, you’re insatiable.” She smiled, crawling across the bed. “You wore me out, and here you are ready to go at it again.”
“Baby, I’m always ready to go.” He yanked on her arm, pulling her down on top of him.
“Mmm.” She captured his lips, sliding her tongue along his as she reached down, rubbing her palm over him. “Yes, you are.”
He steamed out a breath as she kissed his neck and chest, his abs, and nipped at his hip. “Reagan, I—” He groaned, closing his eyes when her hot mouth went to work.
She added her hand and he clenched his jaw, fisting his hands in her hair as she torturously brought him to the edge. She picked up her pace, and he tensed.
“I’m going to cum, Reagan,” he panted out, and she moved faster, finishing him off on a burst of pure ecstasy. “God. God.”
“How was that?” She followed the same path she’d taken down, making her way back up. “Was that okay?”
“When I can think straight I’ll let you know.” He pulled on her arm again and rolled her under him as she chuckled. “You know, Doc, I’m a big believer in tit for tat.”
“Is that so?” She snagged her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Oh, yeah.” He suckled her breast through her thin top and she arched, whimpering. “In fact, I’ll have to insist.” He started his own journey down, sliding her shirt up, toying with her nipples. She moaned, and he traced her belly button with his tongue, smiling when her stomach muscles quivered. “I’m—” The loud smack against the window startled him. “What the fuck was that?” He rushed from the bed, pulling on his boxers as the rapid banging came again.
“They’re back,” Reagan shuddered out, stumbling as she fought her way out from under the covers.
“Reagan! Shane!” Jenny’s muffled holler penetrated the wall.
“Come on.” He took Reagan’s hand, closing the door behind them as they hurried into the hallway.
“Reagan.” Jenny stepped from her room, carrying Faith. “Someone was bangin’ on my window.” She flew into Reagan’s open arms as Chase emerged from his room in sweatpants, holding his gun in his hand.
“There’s shit on fire, man—animals again, I think. And there are fucking people in and out of the woods. I just called it in.”
“I’m scared.” Jenny burrowed closer to Reagan.
“It’s okay, Sweetie,” Reagan kissed Jenny’s cheek. “We’re safe here with Shane and Chase.”
Shane met Reagan’s frightened eyes as he went into his room, dragging on jeans, then took his gun from the top drawer and a magazine from the bottom, shoving a full clip into his weapon.
“What are we gonna do?” Jenny asked, gently bumping Faith up and down, running her trembling hand along the baby’s back as Faith cried.
“We’re going to wait for the police, just like last time,” Shane answered. “Everything worked out fine then, and it will again,” he continued, looking at Chase, both of them knowing tonight wasn’t like the night a couple of jackasses painted up the clinic and destroyed a door. “When the cops get here—” The banging came again, and then the window shattered in Reagan’s room, interrupting him. “Shit. Sit and stay right over here,” he said to Reagan and Jenny, pushing them into the corner out of his and Chase’s way as they took their stances on either side of the doorway.
Chase nodded, kicking in the door, pointing his gun with Shane following immediately behind, ready to shoot, but stared in horror instead at Reagan’s rug going up in flames.
“Fuck! Grab something and lets put this out.” They both yanked Reagan’s towels from the rack and smacked at the hungry licks of fire, extinguishing the small blaze. Shane coughed as he breathed in smoke. “We’ve got to get them out of here.”
“I’ll get the car seat and keys, and we’ll get ready to go.”
Shane nodded, grabbing his cell phone and wallet from the pants Reagan had sent to the floor not all that long ago on his way back into the hall, and closed the door. “We’ve gotta go,” he said, holding Reagan’s gaze. “Get Faith in her seat and call the police. Tell them about the fire and to hurry the hell up.”
“Okay,” she took the phone he handed over as another window smashed in the living room, followed quickly by another.
“Stay here!” He called as he and Chase hurried down the hall, slowing up, pressing their backs to the wall before cautiously entering the room in a race to beat the next round of flames spreading up the curtains.
“Let me wet these,” Chase yelled, grabbing the blankets Jenny and Reagan typically covered up with when they watched TV.
“We need to get these off the wall before the whole fucking place goes up.” Shane jammed his hand against the long rod, dislodging the metal poll from its holders.
“Here!”
He caught the sopping blanket Chase threw him and smothered the worst of the blaze as Chase beat out the rest. Coughing, Shane looked at the mess of charred walls through the haze of smoke. “We can’t wait for the police.”
“You’re right. We can’t. So let’s go.”
“Reagan, Jenny, come on!”
Reagan carried Faith in her car seat with Jenny moving a step ahead of them as they appeared from around the corner. Something pounded violently against the exterior of the house, and Jenny jumped, screaming.
“The police should be here any minute,” Reagan told them. “I just hung up with dispatch.”
“We can’t afford to wait,” Shane said.
“I’m not wearin’ shoes,” Jenny said as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“It doesn’t matter,” Shane reassured her, taking back the phone from Reagan.
“I don’t wanna go outside!”
“Hey, you have to trust me and Chase.” He took Jenny by her shoulders, doing his best to settle her down as her body shook beneath his hands. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” She sniffled.
“We would never do anything to put you in more danger.”
Jenny nodded. “I know.”
“Take a couple of deep breaths and try to chill out. I need to know you’re ready to listen to Chase when he takes you and Reagan out.”
“What about you?” Reagan asked.
“I’ll come with Faith.”
She nodded.
“Jenny, you’re going to take the front seat,” Shane instructed. “Reagan, you’ll get in the back and slide over to the driver’s side. I want you ready to snap Faith’s seat into place. We’re going to do this fast.”
Reagan
nodded again, snatching up Faith’s diaper bag and slinging the strap of her laptop case over her shoulder as sirens wailed and blue lights flashed through the broken windows. Three police cars pulled up in the driveway.
“It’s about fucking time,” Chase said.
“Okay, change of plans.” Shane shoved a hand through his hair. “We’re going to do a quick grab of the things you need—a change of clothes, bathroom stuff.”
“I’m going out.” Chase opened the door.
“All right.” Shane turned his attention to the ladies looking at him. “Jenny, we’ll start with you.” He glanced out the window as Chase met one of the officers getting out of the car, pointing toward the woods and windows in the cabin. After a few moments, he jogged back inside.
“Let’s get some stuff,” Chase said, closing the door again with streaks of soot covering his stomach and chest. “They’re going to process the scene and give us a call when they know what the hell’s going on. Jenny, come with me and we’ll get you what you and Faith need.”
Jenny wiped her cheeks, following Chase to her room.
Reagan took Faith from her seat as the baby cried. “It’s okay, sweet girl. It’s okay,” she soothed. “Shh, Faithy. Everything’s all right now.”
Shane pulled Reagan against him, wrapping her up as his adrenaline started to ebb. “Are you okay?”
She rested her head against his chest, nodding. “I’m fine, just a little shaken up.”
“We’re leaving. What do you want from your room?”
“Um, I guess a couple changes of clothes.” She looked up, meeting his gaze. “What are we going to do?”
“Head into Lexington. We’ll talk to Ethan and see what we can do about getting us the hell out of here.”
Her eyes watered as she shook her head. “We can’t go.”
“We’re not leaving them, Reagan.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Let’s get what we need and we’ll figure out the rest at the hotel.”