by Sonya Weiss
“If I’d known this was going to be a test, I would have studied. Let me try again.”
“Forget it. You failed the test and got a zero. The way that your mother is looking over here she’s never going to bel—”
The rest of Josie’s words were silenced when Lincoln dipped her low and covered her lips with his. Holy freaking meteorite slamming into her. Melting thoughts, melting bones. A million fantasies were suddenly brought to life.
She kissed him back hungrily, not giving a damn who was or wasn’t watching. Then all coherent thought vanished. Heat flowed from the top of her head all the way down to her toes. With every taste, another little piece of her came apart and was sucked into the vortex of upside down, inside out emotions rippling through her. His lips were firm and soft, taking and giving until she shivered and groaned.
He kissed her deeply and it wasn’t enough. Then his tongue tangled with hers and warmth curled in the pit of her stomach, a soft ember hungry and waiting to be stoked into fire. The intensity of the kiss softened before she could burn up, turning gentle as he tugged her lower lip between his before he let go. He lifted Josie back upright and all the blood rushed to her head.
She gripped his arms tightly. “I need a minute.” No wonder the single women in town chased Lincoln. If he could kiss on that level, what a freaking expert he must be at other things. When she’d finally recovered her ability to breathe, she exhaled heavily, wracking her brain for something funny to say so that he wouldn’t know how much the kiss affected her. But then she made the mistake of raising her gaze to his.
The darkness of his eyes held hers and he was looking at her like she was a stranger. The corner of his mouth bore the faintest smudge of her lipstick. With her hand trembling ever so slightly, she reached up and wiped the color away.
The song ended, and Lincoln led them off the dance floor toward a table.
Halfway there, Josie was still trying to come to terms with the kiss when Grayson intercepted them. “I need to talk to you, Linc.”
After the men moved off for a private conversation, Josie thought about the kiss. The way it had made her feel spelled trouble. She sat and watched Jean dance with a handsome silver fox. When she reached that age, Josie hoped that she could be as fun and outgoing as Jean. Once the song ended, the older woman came to sit beside her.
“He looks disappointed. You’re ditching your guy for me?” Josie asked.
“Have to. Can’t break the hearts of all the other gray hairs here. Besides, you and I have to talk.”
Josie’s warning meter went off. Jean sounded serious. “Okay…”
“That was quite a kiss between you and my grandson.”
You’re telling me.
“Didn’t look like you had any issues to me.”
“Looks can be deceiving,” Josie said, thinking she might as well keep on laying the groundwork for the future breakup but also trying not to say anything too upsetting.
“You see that group of women over there?” Jean pointed to a handful of older women seated near Lincoln’s mom, Beverly.
Josie glanced over and nodded.
“I’ve known them most of my life and they all have one thing in common. Fear.”
“I don’t know what this has to do with me,” Josie said.
“You’ve had googly eyes for Lincoln ever since you were a teenager. I remember you were once so busy staring at him that you ran into a tree branch.” She touched the side of Josie’s forehead. “That’s where this scar came from. You had to get four stitches.”
Josie smoothed her dress. “I remember that. But my silly crush on Lincoln is over.” She stared at Jean as if by sheer will she could make the other woman see that there was never going to be anything between Lincoln and her.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“You and Lincoln can get through whatever is going on.”
Knowing she had to tread carefully, Josie stood. “We’re trying, that’s all.” Feeling guilty at the lie that continued to grow, Josie said, “I’m going to go talk to Casey but before I do, can I get you anything?”
“Yes. You can resolve your commitment issues, marry my grandson, and give me great grandchildren before I kick the oxygen habit and get fit for my halo.”
Josie laughed, and Jean took her hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry, honey. You two will work it out and get back to normal.”
Josie hoped so. Normal would be welcome. She hated the web of deceit that she’d created. Once this was all over, Lincoln would go back to his life and she’d go back to dating guys who could never measure up to him. That thought, and seeing her parents standing stiffly off to one side, caused her to pause mid-stride on her way toward the punch. Forcing a smile, she went to greet them, surprised they’d showed up at all. They both preferred quiet evenings and were happiest when it was just the two of them.
“Mom, Dad.” She hugged each in return and then looked for Lincoln. She watched him while only half listening to her mother’s rundown of everything Josie could do better and her oh, Josie, that dress is a little too tight for your kind of figure. Josie tuned out the rest of the snide comment and focused all her attention on Lincoln. She’d asked herself how hard could it be acting as Lincoln’s breakup girlfriend. She was discovering that it was a lot harder than she’d thought.
…
“You could have told me that the two of you were seeing each other,” Grayson said.
Lincoln silently cursed the sticky situation he’d gotten himself into by agreeing to help Josie. “With what happened between you and your girlfriend—”
“Ex-girlfriend,” Grayson said firmly. “I would have understood. Don’t feel like you have to tiptoe around me.”
“Sure thing. I won’t in the future.” Lincoln half listened to Grayson’s reply as he watched Josie walk over to one of the tables. He’d meant what he’d told her at her house. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. The kiss, followed by the need he’d felt, was— He slammed the thought to the ground. As soon as their breakup was over, he was going to get on with his life. What he hadn’t planned on was how good it felt to dance with Josie. To feel her against him.
The second his lips had touched hers, his brain had frantically warned Abort mission! But he hadn’t, and now that kiss was acting like a drug in his system, begging him to get another taste. He scrubbed a hand down his face.
His mother called out that it was time for the cake, and Lincoln made his way through the crowd to find a seat beside Josie. He needed to make sure she understood he’d kissed her just for show. In case she was struggling with the aftereffects of it like he was. He glanced around, then lowered his voice, “Hey. That kiss—”
“Don’t worry. I know you did the best that you could.”
“The best I—” Everyone started singing happy birthday and Lincoln paused in the middle of his annoyance to join in. His grandmother blew out the candles and Lincoln picked the conversation back up. “The best I could?”
She patted his leg like he was a dog that needed soothing. “It can be hard to perform under pressure.”
He was about to come back with a snappy answer telling her he’d never had any complaints in the past when he saw the glint in her eye. “For a second there, I thought you were serious.” She could joke about it, so apparently she wasn’t caught up in the kiss. Good to know. He saw Mac grinning sappily at Josie from one table over. “For what it’s worth, Mac is a good guy, but he’s not right for you.”
Something in her expression told him he’d said the wrong thing. He held his hands up. “I’m just saying.”
“Once you and I break up, I’ll date whoever I want.”
“He asked?”
“As a matter of fact, he did. After he told me that I looked a few levels up from better.”
“Not my finest moment.” Lincoln winced at the reminder. “I don’t like being the center of attention and everyone was looking at us. I just blurted something ou
t.”
“I told Mac I was dating you.”
Lincoln didn’t want to examine the relief coursing through him. For the rest of the celebration, he had trouble keeping his mind off the realization that when he and Josie were through, she’d start dating again. Sure, Lex and the others she’d seen had been dating busts, but eventually she’d find someone she really cared about. He didn’t know why it was hard to convince himself that he’d be happy for her. Someday he’d even watch her walk down the aisle. His stomach roiled at the mental image.
When the party was over, Lincoln said goodbye to his family, and as he leaned in to hug Jean, she whispered in his ear, “If you lose that girl, you’ll regret it.”
Not wanting to talk about Josie, he deftly changed the subject. “Did you have a good birthday?”
“Got lots of loot, some rich-as-hell cake, and spent time with my family. It was perfect.” She motioned Josie over and hugged her. “Don’t forget we’re all coming over for a girls’ night the evening after the hayride.”
“Are you kidding? It’ll be a blast.” Josie smiled down at Jean.
Rafferty met them at the front door to hug Jean. “The ladies’ night would be a lot more fun if you invited men.”
Jean snapped her fingers. “Great idea. I’ll do that.”
Rafferty frowned. “I meant us.” He motioned between himself and his brothers.
“That’d be as fun as chugging prune juice,” Jean said.
Leaving them to their back and forth, Lincoln pushed open the screen door and waited for Josie to pass him. They were planning on going to the park to film his entry for the Heart of Morganville contest.
Outside the wind whipped at her dress, lifting the bottom to flirt against her legs. Long, gorgeous legs that he could imagine— Lincoln choked the thought off and said with fake brightness, “I thought we handled our first couples outing well. Everyone believed we’ve really been dating.” They got into her car and he looked at her. “Don’t you think?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Her eyes didn’t show that she’d registered what he’d said, so he added, “In order to be more convincing, we probably should have had a real date first.”
Josie drove onto Main Street. “Hmm.”
“Or at least made out.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And women say men don’t listen.”
She gave him a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said that in order to be more convincing, we should have had a real date first or at least made out.” He was teasing, but didn’t expect her to laugh hard enough for tears to roll down her cheeks.
She slapped her thigh. “That’s a good one.”
“I was being serious.”
“Oh.” She stopped laughing abruptly and pulled into one of the parking places at the park. Shutting off the car, she turned in her seat and studied him. She caught her lower lip in her teeth and gently tugged at it.
A sensation of heat uncurled in the pit of his stomach.
Finally, she said, “That would have been a terrible idea.” She hit the trunk lever and hopped out of the car.
Lincoln followed. “Why would it be a terrible idea?”
“Because you can’t go on a real date when you’re faking it. We would have known it wasn’t real.” She took out her bag and hoisted the strap over her shoulder. “So it would have been awkward and forced and everything that happened would have been phony.” She slammed the trunk lid down. “Knowing the relationship is phony and fooling others is one thing. Fooling ourselves is another.”
“I’m not suggesting we fool ourselves.” Lincoln lifted the bag from her and carried it as they started walking toward the center of the park. “I thought it was a good idea and would make us more comfortable around each other. That’s all.”
She stopped. “Are you uncomfortable around me?”
The way you look in that dress? Hell, yes. “No.”
Josie moved closer, stepping into his personal space. “Then how much more comfortable do you need to get?”
He swallowed as one wicked thought after another multiplied in his brain like frenzied rabbits. “I was only thinking of you. At the party, you seemed different after I kissed you. Less comfortable.”
“You took me by surprise. That’s all.” She shrugged and resumed walking, putting space between them much to his relief. When they reached the area she wanted, Josie motioned for him to set her stuff down. “You can relax. I didn’t read anything into the kiss. You and I would never work. We want different things.”
“Right.”
She brushed her hair back as she began setting up. “We have to get the video started while we have good light.”
He looked around. “Where do you want me?”
She glanced at him but quickly looked away.
That same nagging feeling that he was missing something about Josie hit and it was driving him nuts. He drank in the sweet curves of her body and couldn’t shake the sensation that he was walking a tightrope over a canyon of failure.
Chapter Eight
“Where do you want me?” was such a loaded question after their kiss at the party. The intensity of it had shaken Josie up. After the kiss was over, she’d been hungry for more and that scared her. They needed to stick to the breakup plan and end things as soon as they possibly could.
She pointed to a double seat wooden swing. “Sit there. That’s the perfect spot.” Josie was acutely aware of Lincoln’s gaze, dark and unwavering, watching her as she moved around. The wind whipped her shoulder-length hair into her face, making it difficult to see. She paused to pull a band from her pocket and gathered her hair on top of her head in a messy bun. When she was done and had finished getting everything ready, she held up a finger to Lincoln to indicate they were about to start.
“Tell me what being a firefighter means to you.”
His lips curved slightly and Josie was reminded of how they felt against hers. Soft yet firm. Expertly coaxing and taking. The scent of him, the feel of him, the strength of his body against hers. She shook off the thoughts, glad she was able to concentrate on Lincoln’s words, and not his lips.
“Being a firefighter is challenging and exciting at times. The job varies from one day to the next. I might have a training exercise or a fire or an EMS call. You never know. For me, it’s always been about helping people.”
Josie smiled, then asked him several more questions, and before she knew it, the time had flown by. She stopped the camera. “This was great. I’ll line up a few interviews with some of the other firefighters, footage of the station and action shots, then I’ll edit everything. I think you’re a shoo-in for winning the contest.”
“Why is that?”
“Because the way you live your life isn’t just for show. You’re a hero whether you’re fighting fires, saving people, or just living out your life.” She couldn’t think of a single person in town who didn’t like Lincoln.
He got off the swing, changing the subject as he always did whenever anyone praised him. “Come over here and get on. Remember this?”
How could she forget? She’d nearly fallen out of the swing more times than she could count over the years from the nervous excitement that Lincoln’s legs had pressed against hers as he sat beside her. She moved toward him and hitched up her dress with one hand. With the other, she held on to one of the ropes and settled on the seat. “Don’t go too high. My stomach’s still full.”
Lincoln pushed the swing to get it started and then leaped back on. They swung in silence for a while until the motion slowed. Josie sighed, then tipped her head back to look up at him. “I miss when life was simpler.”
He looked down at her. “Me, too.”
“I miss how easy everything used to be between us.”
Lincoln abruptly stepped off the swing but remained standing behind her. She frowned at him from her upside-down view. “What’s wrong?”
He lowered his head and kissed her.
&
nbsp; The second his lips touched hers, she leaped upright like that weird cat of her neighbor’s had just sank its claws into her butt. “What was that for?” That kiss was a racecar driving their relationship on a dangerous, twisty track.
“We have witnesses,” he said.
She glanced toward the outer edge of the park and spotted a couple of families they knew. She waved and smiled, even though she didn’t feel like doing either. Lincoln had kissed her twice now and both times it was for show, but they made her feel and want things that weren’t good for her. “Good catch,” she said, turning away from the families and Lincoln to gather her equipment.
He came after her to help. “You okay? You look like something’s bothering you.”
She kept her voice light to cover her inner turmoil. “It feels weird, that’s all. Everything. Fake kisses, fake relationship.” Eyes wide, she stared at him. Say something. Tell me that you’re struggling as much as I am to find the right footing between us.
“Yeah, it does.”
Josie ducked her head. “Makes me feel kind of mixed up and—”
“Glad for the thought that it’ll soon be over,” he supplied.
She raised her head. He seemed to look forward to the over part a lot more eagerly than she did. “But still friends afterward, right? You’ll stop freezing me out like you did before? Deal?” She set her stuff down and held out her hand, proud of herself that it wasn’t shaking.
Lincoln moved forward, but instead of shaking it like she’d thought he would, he took her hand in his and held on. “Friends. And yes.”
No. Tell me that you can’t be just my friend. Tell me that I’m the one, that I’ve always been the one for you. That you see me the way I see you. The thought rocked her, and Josie let out a gasp.
“Josie? What’s wrong?”
The sounds of kids playing in the background, the hum of traffic from the street by the park, faded into white noise as she locked her gaze with his. He was embedded in her history. He was…sledding down hills in the winter, picking fruit in the summer, telling her some boys were stupid after she cried because her first boyfriend had broken her fifteen-year-old heart. He was…camping with her and his family, helping her blow out candles on the birthday cake that his mother made for her year after year.