"It's fine. I've passed out on this sofa enough times. It's comfortable."
Resigned, I went to his room, changed, got into bed and stared at the ceiling. Sleep had no intention of coming. A million thoughts streamed in and out of my head. I could have offered to sleep with Genie so that Zach could have his bed back. I'd do that in the morning. It seemed reasonable. Or . . . no, I couldn't even go there, or could I? I closed my eyes envisioning Zach in bed with me, platonic of course, or maybe . . . I opened my eyes. So many times I wanted to touch him, just like all the times I wanted to touch Jake, but this was different. Tangible. How many times had I longed to have Zach put his strong arms around me and those kisses? His kisses lit a fire in me.
I sat up trying to shake my thoughts. Sex with Andy had been so mechanical, something between two curious sixteen-year-olds. Neither of us wanted anything more, at least I didn't. I wanted to have sex, know what it felt like and move on. But the thought of having sex with Zach was something different. I yearned for him, his touch, his kiss, his breath on my neck. I wanted to wake up next to him, wrapped up in his arms. I wanted him to hold my hand, hug me and more than anything, I wanted the intimacy you shared with someone you cared for.
I slid out of bed and padded into the bathroom. I switched on the light and it temporarily blinded me until I focused on my surroundings. His cologne was there and I grasped onto it. I loved the way he smelled, fresh and crisp, like a woodsy winter morning. I set it down next to my toiletry bag. It seemed natural, the two of them together.
I ran some cold water and splashed my face. Probably the wrong thing to do when suffering from insomnia, but sleep was the not on the horizon. The hamster in my head was running at full speed on her wheel and until I got thoughts of Zach out of my head, I'd never sleep.
I massaged my temples as my heart raced. I felt like my brain wanted to shut down and sleep, boot that hamster off the wheel, while the rest of me had other ideas. An epic battle was going on and my brain lost.
I tiptoed to the door, opening it slowly so I wouldn't make any noise. The TV was off and no other sounds came from the apartment. I crept down the hallway not knowing what kind of sleeper Genie was. Once in the living room I listened for Zach's breathing and it was deep and even. Did I let him sleep? Did I chicken out and let my brain back into the match?
I made my way to the sofa and knelt down next to him. With the limited light coming from the window I could barely make out his serene face. I still had time to turn back and forget all about this stupid, spontaneous plan.
"Zach," I whispered.
He didn't stir. I grasped onto his arm and called out his name again and his eyes flickered open, adjusting themselves to the dim light.
"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice groggy.
"Uh, nothing."
"Why'd you wake me up then?"
This was already going so terribly wrong. "Um, I . . ." My stomach was full of knots and my brain was telling me to go back to bed and let him sleep.
"Em, what's going on?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
I wanted to kiss him, but I was such a coward. I slunk back, sitting on my heels and staring at him. Why did I start things I could never finish? "I thought . . ."
He tilted his head even more perplexed. "Yes?"
Abort, abort, my brain screamed. I shook my head, my inner struggle unknown to him. I was not about to let my brain win this war.
"Come to bed with me." My voice was so quiet I wasn't sure he'd even heard me. His expression didn't change and it felt like forever before he even blinked.
"Emma–"
"Just come," I said, taking hold of his hand. I threw back the comforter and pulled on his arm. I couldn't stop staring at his toned, bare chest. "Let's go," I said.
He got up and followed me into the bedroom. I closed the door gently and turned to face him. Blood raced through my veins as we stood facing each other.
"Kiss me already," I said.
"Gladly."
He scooped me into his arms, effortlessly lifting me to his height. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he kissed me, a hungry kiss I happily returned. He brought me to the bed and set me down. He took a moment to stare at me in my t-shirt and pajama shorts. Was he reconsidering? I waited and then he smiled and stretched out onto the bed next to me. At first his kisses brushed against my lips as one hand caressed my back, but then they grew more and more intense, and I let out a small sigh of pleasure. His lips explored my neck before returning to my lips, his tongue passing over mine. I inched closer to him, touching, desperate to feel his entire body against mine. My body tingled now, every part of me wanting him.
His hand moved under my shirt to my breasts and he caressed each of them, pinching and tugging ever so slightly. It felt amazing. I arched my back, pressing my chest into him, feeling his erection against my leg. I wanted to touch it, but I didn't dare do anything wrong.
He helped me out of my top and threw it down on the ground before paying full attention to my breasts, his mouth playing, sucking and biting down on each nipple. I groaned as his lips found my mouth again, hard and wanting.
His hand resumed its exploration and moved down my back and grabbing hold of a butt cheek. He squeezed not too hard but enough to get me to lean into him. He broke the kiss and stared at me, not saying a word. His hand slid around over my stomach and under my shorts and down between my legs. His eyes never left mine as he fingers massaged me. His touch made me shudder. Everything he did made me feel alive. Connected.
"Emma, you're so wet," he said, his voice low.
Just those few words had an impact. I moaned pushing myself into his hand. He slid two fingers inside me and I gasped as they moved, slowly at first before picking up speed. I came without much effort, a blinding ecstasy I'd never felt before and only read about in trashy novels. Zach kissed me to muffle out my cries.
"Are you okay?" he asked, our noses touching.
"Yes," I said, catching my breath.
He slipped off my shorts and underwear before taking off his pajama pants. I sat up, staring at his erection. It was going inside of me and I could hardly wait. He reached over to the nightstand, pulled out a condom and started to unwrap it.
"Wait," I said. "I want to touch you."
He stretched back out onto the bed and I took him into my hand, gently rubbing. He clasped onto my hand, moving it back and forth just the way he liked it. He let go and let me continue, closing his eyes and leaning his head back, letting out a low groan of pleasure.
"You have to stop," he said, "or I'll come."
I did and he took a second before putting on the condom. I watched, taking in every second. He was then on top of me, kissing me, touching me, his fingers inside of me again.
"Em, you have to relax," he said.
"Okay," I murmured. I was anticipating it, him, what it would feel like and I could feel my body constrict. I took a few deep breaths, shutting my eyes and willing myself to calm down.
"Look at me," he said.
I opened my eyes and stared into his. I felt a release, my body opening for him.
"And stop clenching the sheets. Just chill," he said, his lips brushing mine.
I had no idea that both my hands were balled into fists. I opened them and wrapped my arms around Zach.
He moved between my legs, and I wanted to close my eyes, expecting the invasion, but I kept them fixed on his. He guided himself into me, just a little at first but as he sunk into me I felt a little pinch of pain. It had been three years and my only sexual experience had lasted less than thirty seconds.
He did nothing at first, just letting my body get acquainted with him, but as he slowly moved in and out, my body trembled with desire. It felt so good, him inside me, linked to me. He stopped and started, teasing me. I moved against him, thrusting into him.
"Em, I don't know how much longer I can go. You're so tight," he said breathlessly.
"Then c
ome."
With a few frantic thrusts he came and I let out a quiet cry. We stayed that way awhile, his body pressed up against mine, him still inside me, kissing me as my body gently bucked against him.
"I've got to clean up. I'll be right back."
With his warmth gone, I pulled a blanket over top my naked, pulsating body. I tried to cement every moment in my mind and when he slid back into bed next to me, I wrapped my arm around him and nestled my head against his chest, not waiting for an invitation. It was like the spot was made for just me. He caressed my arm and I let out a contented sigh before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.
Chapter-Twenty-nine
Zach
Normally the first time with a new girl could be awkward, but with Emma it was so intense and natural. She literally had me by the balls. Thinking about the previous night got my blood flowing. I badly wanted to wake her up with a little morning sex, but thought against it. This was new and I didn't want to push the limits.
I watched her sleep, her body curled up in a ball, the blanket wrapped tightly around her. She'd hogged it a few times during the night, but I didn't care. I rarely let girls stay the night, finding crafty ways to gently kick them out. Letting them sleep over gave them ideas, but Emma could share my bed for as long as she wanted.
Her eyes fluttered open. She looked at me and smiled shyly. Those big hazel eyes killed me every time.
"Good morning," she said, stretching out her body. I glimpsed her breasts and wanted my hands all over them. Like most girls, I expected her to quickly cover up, but she didn't. She scooted closer and kissed me.
"Good morning to you too." I put my hand on her waist, then her ass. She had the tightest body with the most perfect little breasts. Everything on her was just right.
"How'd you sleep?" A nervous smile crept up on her perfect, rosy lips.
"Very good. And you?"
"Well, thank you."
She reached out and let a finger trace the muscles on my chest. I stiffened and wondered if she could feel it. I would have done anything to have her again.
"Are you my boyfriend now?"
There was something so innocent about her, those big eyes looking at me, waiting for an answer. She seemed worried what I'd say.
"Do you want me to be?"
She ran a finger over my Adam's apple. "Yes."
"Then I guess I'm your boyfriend."
She grinned. "I was worried you were going to get mad at me last night."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I didn't want you to think I was leading you on or anything. I know I frustrated you and–" I stopped her with a kiss. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about any of that shit again. We were starting fresh, no crap from the past.
"I like kissing you," she said as if she shouldn't.
"I like kissing you," I said, giving her any reassurance she needed.
She bit her lip and giggled. "I really like having sex with you. I thought you should know."
"I really like having sex with you too. That could be a problem."
"Why?"
"Because all I'll think about is this amazing hot body of yours and then I'm going to want to have sex with you again and again and again."
"Well, if you want . . ." I didn't let her finish. I kissed her, pulling her closer. She grabbed hold of me and stroked, just like I'd shown her. I was so hard it hurt. "Em, from the nightstand, grab a condom," I said. She reached over and got one. I put it on and motioned for her to get on top.
"Really?" she asked, those eyes sucking me in.
I nodded and she straddled me, uncertain of herself. She eased onto me, only a little at first, sending the blood pumping through me. I grasped onto her breasts, gently pinching and massaging. She sunk down lower, slowly grinding. I pushed deeper inside her and she resisted a little. She rested her hands on my shoulders, supporting herself as she began to move. I rubbed her clit which made her gasp and sink even deeper. I wanted to get her on her back, but I didn't know her limits yet and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her.
"Oh my God, this feels so good," she said, almost pained to say it.
"It's supposed to."
"I think I'm going to . . ." I felt her release and in that moment I held onto her waist, pushing her down on me. I came too.
She collapsed on top of me, her arm wrapped around me, her cheek resting on my shoulder. She let out a few deep sighs. "We should probably get up," she said after a minute or two.
"We should."
We didn't move, other than me caressing her back. Finally she sat up, her hair disheveled in a sexy kind of way.
"Do you think Genie heard us?"
"I doubt it. She could sleep through an air siren."
She pondered that then shrugged. "I'm getting hungry."
"Me too. How about a shower first?"
She smiled devilishly. "That sounds like a great idea."
We showered and a girl who barely let me touch her before now explored every inch of my body. Her fingers passed over every inch of my face, and she brushed her cheek against my stubbly one before kissing me. She broke the kiss and stared at me, an intense gaze that made me want her right there again. This girl was going to destroy me.
I tore myself away from Emma and got changed. Genie was in the kitchen reading the newspaper, a knowing smile on her face.
"I didn't see you on the sofa this morning."
I pulled out the coffee canister and put on a pot while Genie sipped her tea. "I slept in my bed."
"With Emma? In Emma?"
"Funny and really not your business."
Genie's face turned serious. "Don't break her heart. I really, really like her."
"Noted."
"I guess you won't be sleeping on the sofa then?"
I faced Genie, leaned up against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, listening to coffee drip. "No arrangements have been made."
"I told you she'd come around."
"How did I get so lucky to have a genius for a sister?"
"Like I said, don't screw it up.”
Chapter Thirty
Emma
While Zach was at the gym and Genie out with Andrea for the day, I called Dad. He was at the shop and I took the chance he wouldn't be busy and be able to talk.
"Andrew's Antiques," Dad said in her most cheerful voice.
"Hey Dad, it's me."
"Hello, Kiddo. You're calling early."
"Did I catch you at a busy time?"
"No, it's pretty quiet right now. Just a few browsers. What's up?"
"I could call later."
"No, it's all right. If it gets busy I'll let you know."
My mouth went dry. Telling Dad I had a boyfriend wasn't something I did everyday . . . well, never. And he was a senator's son to boot. "So Dad, I wanted to let you know that Zach Walker and I started dating." No use drawing it out or prolonging my own agony.
Silence. The longer it went, the more my heart raced. Was Dad angry? I wondered if I should have waited until I'd seen him in person to drop the bombshell. His only kid had a boyfriend, a boyfriend he'd never met.
"I see," Dad finally said. "I figured it was inevitable. When am I going to meet this young man?"
Dad's tone wasn't thrilled, but he wasn't furious either. "I don't know. I have a tennis tournament next week, mid-terms after that then it's spring break. We could come to Pine Falls then."
More silence.
"He's a good kid, right? I'm not going to lie. I've been asking around and I googled him. I even got Wendy to look into him. He seems fine. Does he do drugs?"
"No!"
"What does Jake think of him?"
I wanted to let out a sarcastic laugh. "Jake thinks he's all right."
"Well, then spring break it is. I want to meet him."
We talked a few minutes more before Dad had to go. I was relieved. Dad didn't have a coronary.
~~~~~~~
There was no hiding that Zach and I were dating. We kissed and hugged before and after classes, not the drawn out PDAs or anything, just quick pecks and off we went. I expected the backlash from Bianca because one way or another she was going to find out. By Friday I started receiving a steady stream of texts. Some I deleted without reading, others I subjected myself to. The worst came as I was waiting for Zach. He texted to tell me he'd be a few minutes late. Almost immediately after I got another one.
000:000:0000: I'm going to mess you up.
That was the first one indicating violence. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me for a reaction, but there was no one. I didn't care about any of these harassing texts but this one had me spooked.
Me: I'm going to call the cops.
000:000:0000: Go ahead BITCH.
Me: Who is this?
000:000:0000: Your worst fucking nightmare.
Me: Leave me alone.
000:000:0000: Can't. And I'll get you when you least expect it.
My hands shook and I stuffed my phone into my backpack. Did I tell Zach? I'd been keeping the texts quiet because they'd been nothing more than an annoyance. Bianca was harmless, that's what Zach had assured me, but these texts crossed the line. Suddenly I felt exposed, a wide open target. I hated that I needed Zach around to feel protected, but Bianca was sounding crazy.
"Sorry I'm late," Zach said, kissing me on the cheek.
"Oh, hi."
"You look upset. What's wrong?"
I'd reached my breaking point. I pulled out my phone and brought up the texts. I showed them to Zach and he scrolled through them. His face went from cheerful to furious.
"Why didn't you tell me about these?"
"Before today they were all harmless and stupid."
"Do not reply to any more of them. I'm going to download them and see if Dad can help."
"No, please don't make a big deal," I begged. "That just pisses her off."
"I thought this was over."
"She probably found out about us and is pissed. Can't we just forget about it?"
He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. "At the very least let me download them so we have a copy. Then I want you to delete them. And any other ones you get, I want to see and download. Okay?"
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