by Leanne Davis
“I’m full now. But I’m like a snake, I tend to eat as much as I can, when I can and then I store it up for the days I don’t eat at all.”
They fell into light conversation, bantering back and forth about Chris’s bottomless appetite. He laughed at her mafia comparison and liked teasing her.
Later, Olivia and Derek wandered by and Julia introduced them. Chris eagerly inquired about her music and Julia sat back a little surprised, but oddly pleased to see he could so easily converse with her musically-gifted cousin. He asked a lot of intelligent questions, and showed genuine interest. Julia wondered how flute playing could interest him? And then, of course, since one cousin talked to her and Chris, that soon brought over the rest of them. First Nate came over, ever the meddling brother and he liked to embarrass her. Something he did several times with the Ju-Ju-Bee nickname and always hinting at what Chris might like about her. She shoved her elbow into his stomach twice, trying to shut him up with all the innuendo.
It wasn’t anything like that between Chris and her and she didn’t want to ruin or taint it. She liked the big, lumbering, nice, even sweet construction worker. But did she feel anything more? No. Oh, hell no. He wasn’t her type. All that muscle and bulk? Blindingly bald head and even starker tattoos? Not what she was looking for in a dream date. She dared not even think of how awkward and stupid she would be around him if it were otherwise. Julia liked it this way, as an easy-going friendship that flowed so naturally between them. It allowed her to speak freely with him. And not only that, but she could be her real self. She felt comfortable showing her unvarnished personality, where she might not have otherwise.
Ally had to join the group once she spotted Nate and then of course, Kylie came over with Tristan close behind. So Chris was methodically introduced to all her siblings and schooled in their histories, getting way too much of Julia’s. Oh, yeah. They were having a blast bringing up all the old Julia stories. Being an odd, quirky, and solemn child, they all had a grand time retelling the many anecdotes to Chris. Julia was burning up and very red as she kept glaring at the current storyteller. Their favorite one to tell was that she used to carry around a small jar of Play-Doh when she was only three. It went everywhere with her. No one ever knew why she did. Instead of a blanket or a stuffed animal as her favorite thing to cuddle, Julia chose a small jar of red-colored Play-Doh.
Julia found it hard to reconcile with how easily Chris fit in with her family. All of them. From the dapper-looking Tristan to the casual Derek to the highly intelligent Nate. Chris fit in with all of them, and most likely, better than she did. The hours, yes, hours passed and it was soon close to eleven. The day was unseasonably warm, even late into the evening. The overhead twinkly lights made white specks on them and everyone seemed so congenial, relaxed, and all were having fun. Someone offered Chris a beer and he glanced at Julia, who shrugged. He accepted it gratefully, but she declined.
“Julia doesn’t drink.” Kylie explained for her. “She’s like the model teen I should have been.”
“Yeah, even I started drinking underage. Not Julia. Never. Not at all,” Ally added.
“Never?” Chris glanced at her.
“No. I don’t want to.” She had her own reasons. For one, it tasted bad. It also made people act stupid. It made some people sick. Why would she willingly drink a bad-tasting beverage to act stupid and make herself sick? Besides, Vickie was an alcoholic. Why would Julia flirt with that possibility?
“Don’t you all have babies to tend to?” she grumbled at Kylie before glaring at Ally, Nate, and Tristan.
They all burst out laughing. “Nope. Mom’s taking them tonight. We’re free to party.”
“You’re pregnant, stupid,” Julia said, glaring at Kylie.
Kylie sighed and gently rubbed her ridiculously small belly. Julia felt bigger when she was bloated. Kylie didn’t even weigh a hundred pounds when she was not pregnant, and she laughed out loud and shrugged. “No, but we can enjoy sitting here with everyone.”
Ally sighed with happiness. “Who knew that could be such a treat?”
Olivia laughed. “Leave Julia alone. Some people can’t help being square and straight, right, Derek?” she asked, tipping her wineglass to her mouth, goading him. Surprisingly, the former drug-dealing Derek neither smoked, nor drank nor did any drugs. Never. Straight as an arrow.
Julia smiled at Derek. “Then they’re the stupid ones. Who wants to taste that awful stuff?”
“Exactly.” He grinned back. Neither one liked to party. They often watched the others imbibing, keeping each other company as they observed and mocked the inebriated celebrants.
Chris drank another beer and seemed to grow more relaxed, at least, his smile came easier. He glanced around. “So are all of you stepsiblings then?”
“Everyone except me. I’m a cousin,” Olivia replied.
“And you two are technically her cousins too?” He pointed at Kylie and Ally.
“Uh-huh,” Ally said, grinning wildly. She was drinking and her face was flushed.
“Wow, that’s… sorta complicated.”
“Try living it,” Julia grumbled.
Ally poked her. “Don’t start getting so serious, Julia.”
“Start getting what?” Chris asked.
“She has a hard time explaining who her “real” mom is.”
“My real mom is right over there,” Julia said as she pointed behind her.
Kylie hugged her and agreed, “Yes, she is. We just mean, it used to be a little confusing for you.”
“She calls herself our stepsister or cousin or some such shit, when we all agree, and I mean me, Nate, and Kylie, that she’s our little sister. Not our stepsister. No clarifications necessary. Right?” Ally smiled, looking all mushy at Julia. Julia appreciated the sentiment even though Ally was quite clearly pretty tipsy.
Nate hugged Ally, enjoying how loose and free she felt as she allowed him to easily feel her up in front of the others. “Exactly. A little, annoying sister.”
Julia rolled her eyes. “Try growing up with that all the time.”
Chris set down his beer and glanced at his phone. “I should get going. Cat probably thinks I forgot all about him. He needs his dinner too.”
Taking a drink of seltzer water, the bubbles suddenly came up Julia’s nose and she began to choke. Then she coughed and hacked and laughed. “Did you say cat? Like you’re worried about it?”
His eyebrows sprang upwards. “That’s what I said. Why? What’s so funny about that?”
“You have a pet cat? A cat that you like and take care of?”
“I love my cat. Yes. Simba. Why is that making you laugh?”
“Simba? Like in The Lion King?”
Chris shuffled around a bit. “Yeah. Like in The Lion King. He’s orange and big. So…?” His massive shoulders shrugged.
“Just not what I expected. If you’re being serious.”
“Deadly serious.” Chris’s eyes sparked but his mouth curved upwards.
She tilted her head and studied him. “I believe you are. Deadly serious. About your cat.” Her smile matched his. Their gazes stayed locked for several moments and it felt like her family melted away like ice on a hot day. She started shaking her head when she realized they were all watching the staring contest between Chris and her. Rising to her feet, she interrupted all of their stares and the funny moment, saying, “I’ll walk you out.”
Chris rose to his full height and Ally’s eyes widened. Quite tipsy now, her head tilted all the way back as her eyes grew huge. “You are absolutely the biggest man I’ve ever met in person.”
Chris ducked his head down and released a nervous-sounding laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been told that before.”
“You’re huge. Behemoth. I’ll bet you could crush a watermelon between your hands. Could you?”
“Ally,” Nate nudged her leg gently with his own. “Stop it. You’re embarrassing him. Besides, I’m sure he’s heard it all before.”
“I have, yes.” Chris played along. �
��I could crush a watermelon with my hands. And I have done it before. But I’m not going to prove it to you.”
Ally’s smile brightened. “Because the cat is waiting?”
“Exactly.”
He circled around the table until he was beside Julia. Being only five-foot-five, her head was more than a foot and some inches below the top of Chris’s head. Having worked closely with him many times over the last three months, Julia was used to it. Usually. But then for some reason, an uneasy ripple of awareness made her skin tingle. Confused, she glanced up and smiled to cover her strange reaction to him. “You are a behemoth.”
He shrugged. “Nature’s choice. I didn’t plan it out.”
Julia went first and he followed behind her but stopped to shake her dad’s hand. He also spoke to her mother and thanked her for the delicious food after his uninvited entrance to their party. Julia’s parents were very nice to him and even seemed somewhat charmed by him.
So was she. He took her huge, complicated, nosy family in stride and in fact charmed them and she was increasingly finding herself charmed by him.
The front door closed behind them and they both enjoyed the pleasant night air. The soft aroma of the flowers her mom used to decorate the front porch hung in the air. She had four hanging baskets and plenty of blooming pots that she placed all over the stoop, the stairs and along the walkway. “Your family is pretty amazing.”
She snorted. “Ha. You’re just being nice.”
“No.” He tilted his head back and stared at the bright stars overhead. “Trust me, when you have none, you appreciate what you don’t have.”
“You don’t have any family?”
“Not much. Except for my mom. But she’s worth about a dozen members of any other family.”
“You’re close to your mom?” Julia tilted her head, staring at him. She never considered what Chris’s life might be like outside of work.
“She raised me all alone. Tough-assed woman. She puts me under the table when it comes to a contest of strength.”
Julia pictured a comical female version of Chris, maybe a little shorter and way less muscled, with a loud, croaky voice, holding a beer bottle and sitting on a Harley. She shook her head. Where did that come from? “So you’ve only got your mom and cat?” Her eyebrows rose and she lightly punched his arm, giving him a just kidding bump.
He looked down as his hand came out and grabbed hers on his arm. “Right. Just my mom and cat.” He shook his head with a laugh. Puzzled, she glanced at their joined hands. He glanced down too, as if he only then realized they were holding hands. “Sorry, yours is so small, I forgot it was there.” He smirked as he dropped her hand. “Anyway, I did enjoy meeting them. They were so generous to let me stay for dinner.”
“It was nothing. Besides, we had all that food. Now we won’t have to bother pulling out all the Tupperware to store leftovers in. They should probably be thanking you.” She tilted her head up again, smiling sweetly.
“Ha. Ha. Yes, Mrs. Stick Figure. Sure, I eat some…”
“Some? You could win any eating contest. How can you afford it?”
“By working little, tiny girls to death.” He glared at her and it made her laugh.
“I’m neither tiny nor am I a girl. Claudia is a girl. I’m a woman.”
“Claudia? She being…?”
“Kylie’s two-year-old daughter.”
“Ah, I see. So you’re all woman, huh, Julia? Is that what you want me to know?”
She scrunched her eyebrows down. How the hell did this suddenly go from ribbing each other to sounding sensual? “I am all woman. But I’m not yours, now am I?”
His smirk faded. “No. No, you’re not mine.”
The odd timber to his voice had her dropping her face towards the ground as she felt a blush incinerating her cheeks and neck. “But neither do I belong to half my family. Not technically anyway.”
He grinned and her scrunched-up face responded by smiling back. He had that kind of infectious grin. “Ah, hell. You know, everyone in there adores you. It was pretty evident to any observer.”
“My family, you mean?” Surprised at his suddenly serious tone and change of topic, she straightened her back.
“Yes.”
“All the stepsiblings and cousins and family by marriage…”
“Who cares how you label it or how it came to be? I’d just be grateful for it.”
Her lips twitched. “You don’t find the circumstances surrounding all of my siblings… a little odd?”
“No. I’d kill to have half of them during my growing up years.”
Twice now, Chris referred to being lonely, wishing he had more family, while Julia always felt a little overwhelmed, hampered, even claustrophobic at times from all the family members that constantly surrounded her. “Funny, I always wished for a little less. I mean, I love all of them but sometimes, I find them a bit overwhelming.”
He cocked his head. “Just saying they all adore you. Every one of them sees you as a little sister, from your cousins to their husbands.”
She shrugged. Perhaps she never noticed before and should have. Considering how rare and wonderful Chris seemed to think they were, maybe she should have appreciated all of them more. “Maybe. Just be glad you didn’t meet Vickie.”
“Your biological mother? Who is Tracy’s sister, huh? That must have busted up their relationship.”
“No. Nope. Not my bio-mother. She got to come and go all the while Tracy and my dad gave me a home and raised me. She came and went as often as she wanted. They accommodated her, kowtowed to her, and allowed her to grow into the epic mess of a space cadet-minded, shallow, money-grubbing man-eater that she so successfully became.”
Chris stepped back and whistled. “That’s a pretty harsh description and image of her. Remind me never to get on your bad side. Hate to hear what you’d have to say about me.”
She gave him a rueful smile. “I am not all that nice.”
“Funny, your looks suggest you could be.”
“But I’m not. And it’s also funny that your looks suggest you wouldn’t be.”
His shoulders shrugged before flopping down. “I know. I get that a lot. Irrational fear. Mostly from women, or men who worry I’ll smash beer cans on my head before I start heaving them around and cursing or something.”
“But you’re not like that at all.”
“No. Did you think I was? I mean, when you first met me?”
She ducked her head and held her thumb and index finger an inch apart. “Maybe, but only about this much. Just a little bit.”
“I know. I could tell.”
She sighed, her shoulders sagging. “I know the feeling. Trust me. I look like the sweet girl-next-door, someone who should smile a lot and be happy all the time. I’m not that woman. I’m pretty serious, sour even, and I can be rather rude when I don’t like things, and I don’t suffer fools easily. Not like Vickie.”
“Vickie, the epic mess of a space-cadet-minded, shallow, money-grubbing man-eater who is biologically responsible for your birth?”
“Yes. But remember, only biologically speaking.”
“Right. Only biologically speaking. She wasn’t there tonight?”
“No. I quit seeing her when I turned eighteen. I was old enough to tell my parents to stop making me see Vickie. I didn’t want to anymore and I don’t want her in my life. Neither did they, quite honestly, so why should I have to suffer through seeing her? They resisted at first. Everyone tried to invite Vickie to all the family affairs and force me to make nice. I refused and gave them all an ultimatum. Either me or her.”
“And they chose you,” Chris surmised as he let out a low whistle. “Don’t mess with you, huh? Clipped her clean, cut-and-dried and that was it. They agree with your decision or go against it?”
“Yeah, eventually. She’s my biological mother. I was the one who suffered the worst of her toxic behavior. Why should I have to keep faking it? Or pretend to feel things I didn’t, or constantly
be exposed to some things I didn’t like? What good was it for me?”
“But, isn’t Vickie Tracy’s sister?”
“Well, yeah. Unfortunately. And she’s been cleaning up after my alcoholic and crazy, difficult, flighty mother for almost forty years. Who could stand that?”
“Her sister,” Chris answered softly. “I mean, I get what you’re saying. Seeing your mom not being motherly or even not liking her was more painful than not seeing her. But in your ultimatum, weren’t you asking your family to give her up, too? Your mom had to give up her little sister? Her… Julia?”
Julia scowled. She didn’t expect such a softly worded admonishment from Chris Vaughn, especially over her decision not to see Vickie. Chris continued, “I mean, maybe Tracy is glad, even relieved you let her off the hook in dealing with her little sister. Perhaps it was the permission she’d been waiting to receive for her entire life. Maybe it helped her let go of whatever guilt she might have had in marrying your dad.”
“Yeah. I think you’re right, I think it did.” Julia said the words out loud, but her tone didn’t convince Chris that she believed it. And she didn’t know for sure. She never bothered to ask her parents’ opinions about her decision and how it affected them. She assumed they were as relieved as she was. It simply let them off the hook concerning any future meetings with Vickie. But what if it didn’t? She shook her head, unwilling to take on that burden and even consider it.
Chris cleared his throat. “Well, anyway it was nice meeting all of them and thank you again for the good company and delicious dinner. Otherwise, for me, it would have been a tasteless frozen meal in front of the TV.”
Julia watched him turn and leave with a wave before he jumped into his truck and pulled away. That did not go as expected, neither the impromptu meal nor his fondness for her family. She could not stop thinking how he chided her about Vickie. As if Julia were being somehow selfish because she chose to quit seeing a woman who did nothing but hurt her.
Boundaries.
They were called boundaries. And Julia needed them to protect herself from the toxic personalities in her life. Bad, negative, life-draining energy. And if Chris had spent even a single day in therapy, like Julia had, that would have been one of the first lessons he learned. That didn’t make her selfish. No. She could not control anyone else’s behavior, especially her mother’s. The only solution was to set boundaries with the types of people who could hurt you.