by Leanne Davis
He never expected her to say that she and Lloyd were going away together. Overnight. In a hotel. Together. Fuck. The subsequent images of her and Lloyd that immediately ravaged his brain flipped him into a jealous rage. Never, not once, had he come close to such an all-consuming, hateful feeling. He never considered himself the jealous type. Or experienced a twinge of it in his life. Never in high school. Never in all the times since he’d been dating women. Never. He usually sat back and smiled with amusement if men showed more interest than appropriate in anyone he was dating. It made him proud. Like, yeah. The woman was his girlfriend, not theirs. He was usually more than secure in his manliness. His ego didn’t need to be stroked; it was healthy enough. Always confident, jealousy never crossed his mind. Not even once.
Now, he had yelled at her, an innocent woman who was merely telling him her itinerary. He yelled at her and squashed all of her confidence. Then he threw a damn chair at the wall.
He was well aware of his brute strength. Like a full-grown chimpanzee, he was capable of doing far more damage than any average man, so he always proceeded carefully. He didn’t let his temper talk for him, even if he were angry at anyone. Let alone an innocent, inanimate chair.
He sat down, leaning his head back and resisting the urge to bang it a few times against the hard wall. What had he done? Now, she’d never talk to him again. Or want to work with him. Or let him tease her. Or carry on their innocuous banter. Or surprise him by showing up at a random moment. God, how he loved all of that during the last few months. The days were all new, laced with an unprecedented magic because he knew at any moment, Julia Lindstrom could come by. Eagerly anticipating the possibility, he popped out of bed at five o’clock, feeling rested, energized, and pumped up. He had to get to work by six. Julia was the one who put a spring in his step as he whistled away.
Yeah, all because of a woman. But not just any woman.
Julia Lindstrom wasn’t just like anyone.
He never felt anything like the way he did around her. It was strong and real and wonderful. But now? He only felt bad, mean, and jealous. Would she ever forgive him? Why should she?
He suffered throughout the rest of the day, his surliness evident to all he encountered. He gave up when he freaked out on a driver who was delivering pallets of landscaping brick. They planned to install a long, retaining wall on the south end of the property to contain the parking lot. Chris mercilessly berated the young, obviously inexperienced driver after four failed attempts to pull the flatbed semi-truck in straight. Chris climbed into his truck, dejected and disgusted with himself. His stomach churned as he tried to avoid picturing what Julia might have been doing right then. He began wondering where she was. But at least, he knew with whom. Lloyd. Lloyd, his father. His dad. His flesh and blood. Fuck.
Entering his mom’s apartment without a knock or hello, Chris grabbed a beer and flopped down on her white couch. His mother, at barely five-foot-one, weighed all of a hundred-and-five pounds. She curled up on the edge of the opposite couch and frowned at him. “Something wrong, Chrissy?”
He rolled his eyes, chugging the beer and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Thank God, Julia never knew that nickname. She’d have had a field day using it to irritate him. Not now, though. She probably wouldn’t even bother to comment if she heard it. His stomach knotted in disappointment.
“Hey, Chris, what’s wrong?” Tully, his mom, asked. She began straightening up and leaning forward to grab the TV remote after watching the nightly news. Clicking the TV off, she turned to him. He sighed. No fooling her. She wouldn’t leave him alone until he told her. Which was why he came there.
“I fucked up.” He drank more.
She winced. He wasn’t allowed to talk that way in front of her and usually didn’t. But right now, he knew of no other word to describe it.
“Did you mess something up with the new building?” Tully was well aware that he worked for a general contractor, but Chris only referred to it as CGC, and never told her what the initials stood for: Cartwright General Contractors. Tully had no clue it belonged to Lloyd Cartwright.
“No. No, I wish. That, I could fix. It’s just a building.”
She nodded and said, “Ah.”
“What? Ah?”
“It’s a woman.” He scowled at her and she gave him a look. “What did you do?”
“Told her something mean. Just to make her feel bad.”
Her eyebrows jerked upwards. “That’s not like you. She must have done something to hurt you.”
“Not knowingly.”
“Start from the beginning, son.”
“I like this woman and we both work together. She works as an assistant and is mostly in the office. Well, she’s going away with the boss and… and I think he could have dishonorable intentions towards her. You know what I mean…”
“You mean, the boss wants to bang his assistant? Not so unusual, Chris. And honey, you say it as if you only harbor noble intentions, huh? Get real.”
He glared at his attractive, petite, blonde-haired mother. She was forty-eight but looked a decade or more younger. His friends always tried to hit on her even when they were barely in their twenties. She was small, beautiful, and well-dressed. Most people thought she was his older sister and not his mother. But she was his mother. And he considered her the best one in the world. She never blew sunshine where it don’t shine or sugarcoated anything. Even about him. He frowned when he noticed that she kind of resembled Julia. Huh. Gross. Shuddering, he banished the thought. He wasn’t interested in his mother’s type.
“I want…”
“To have sex with her?” Her eyebrows rose.
“Yeah, and that’s gross, Mom. You should be horrified at hearing this.” He evil-eyed her. “But I also have a relationship with her. And right now, I’d settle for a friendship. But I freaking blew up at her when she told me she was going away on business with the boss. I know what kind of business he means. He’s going to seduce her. He has a long track record of doing it in the past, and he must be doing something right because he’s usually successful.”
“What did you tell her?”
Chris sighed, burning up with shame. His mother would not like hearing this part. “I—I told her she was hired for a fake position. Everyone knew she was strictly there to serve the boss’s needs and I said that’s why no one would work with her at first. But Mom, how could she not know? She had no resume and was hired without any prior education or experience. She had to realize what was going on, right?”
Tully leaned across the distance and smacked him on the shoulder. “Chris! You should be ashamed.”
He winced at her tone. She did not conceal her disappointment. “I know. I know. It was so bad. And so mean. And I know I hurt her. Really hurt her. I—I even threw a chair.”
“At her?” Tully’s eyes widened in horror.
“No. I’d never do that.”
“While she was there?” Tully frowned.
“No. After she left.”
Tully was quiet. Chris hated to lose his temper so he seldom did. Tully finally understood his state of sorrow and she nodded. “You didn’t tell her about your feelings?”
Reacting with alarm, Chris jerked his head back. “No. Of course not. She has no idea.”
“Then try to imagine how confused she was. Walking in there to inform you of her absence and then you react by hurling undeserved personal attacks and insults.”
He dropped his head. His stomach was churning. “I know. I know. It’s unacceptable.”
“It sure is. And you need to tell her that. Now. You can’t wuss out, not after what you said to her. She needs to know why you reacted so severely to her news. Whether your feelings are welcome or not, and valid to her or not, you owe her an explanation.”
“I doubt she feels the same as I do.”
“So what?” Tully’s eyebrow rose.
Chris nodded, ashamed. “I know,” he mumbled. “What if she sleeps with this guy?”
> Tully shrugged. “What if she does? It might be a quick fling. A single event or the start of a new relationship and even a future marriage. Who knows what will happen? It doesn’t taint her, for God’s sake, Chris. Tell her how you feel first, so she has all the information she should have. But most of all, you must apologize. You can’t shame a woman because she doesn’t have the same feelings for you. That’s your problem, Chris. Not hers. She doesn’t owe you anything.”
“I’m scared she’ll laugh at me. Reject me.”
“Really? Slut-shaming probably hurts a whole lot worse.”
He winced. “Point taken.”
Tully stared at him and he felt her glare. “What? Now?” he asked, lifting his arms in mock surrender.
“Now. You go after her right now and find her. Tell her. Maybe you should try to before anything else happens. She deserves to know now.”
Chris was startled. “Now? Are you for real? Are you suggesting I go to Medford after her? Both of them? I could get fired. If the boss sees I’m there or suspects I’m trying to sabotage his—”
“Is she worth it? An apology?”
“Yes, of course. She’s definitely worth an apology.”
“Then get out of here and go make it right.”
Taking in a deep breath, Chris jumped to his feet and crossed the room before enveloping Tully’s small frame. “I love you, Mom.”
She patted his back. “Then go.”
“Going.”
Energized, Chris launched himself out of Tully’s apartment and into his truck. Burning rubber towards the freeway, Chris was flying high off his mother’s words. His emotions were filled with hope… and dread… and embarrassment… but he was going to find her anyway.
After trying to get his thoughts straight on the drive north, Chris squealed into the parking lot of the hotel, slammed on the brakes, and stared at the resort. It was posh. He glanced down and winced at his construction attire. Not appropriate, but it was all he had. This was him… the man he was, and all he had to offer. And he feared he wasn’t physically what Julia wanted but maybe she’d value their companionship and similar personalities more than his appearance. They could be best friends. Easily. He’d never felt that way with a woman before. Never so much at ease. Or so well listened to. Not to mention the chemistry of attraction and the like.
He sucked in a breath. It was now or never.
Slamming the truck door, he crossed the parking lot, ready to start his life. Or perhaps, he was about to end it along with his job and any future chances with his father and… everything.
Chapter Seven
HANDS SHAKING, JULIA PULLED into the parking lot of CGC. Her adrenaline kept her thoughts primed and anger bubbling. Over and over she cursed out Chris and his awful accusations. His awful words that kept filtering through her thoughts. And yet, something rang true. She wilted forward, folding over the steering wheel.
This. This was why Margaret used to shut the door in her face. Margaret had known why she was hired.
This. This was why that first day she met Chris he interceded on the sub ordering her to get him coffee and calling her sweetheart and commenting on her legs. Lloyd had said or done nothing to dissuade him. In fact he hadn’t even lifted his head up.
This. This was why the sub had even called her sweetheart and assumed he could say such things so vocally in this group of men.
Nearly foaming at the mouth she jumped out of her car and stormed into Lloyd’s office. She slammed the door shut behind her. Lloyd dropped his pen and his mouth fell open. “Julia?”
She stared at him, her eye twitching. She sauntered forward, as if she had all the time in the world and leaned over his desk. “What did you think? For a nice little salary, I’d let you fuck me? Where did you imagine it happening? Right here? On the desk? Or up against the door? Oh. I know where, in your chair. I could get on my knees, bowing down to you. Isn’t that what you really want? And ultimately fantasize about?”
Lloyd jumped onto his feet. “Wh—what is going on? What is this?”
“Oh, nothing much. I just got let in on the company secret. And the snickering joke that I am. Fuck you, Lloyd! I don’t stoop down on my knees for any man.”
Turning to storm out of there, she walked past Lloyd, who sputtered and scurried after her. “Wait! Just wait, Julia. Calm down. Just… wait…” He beat her to the door, but barely, and stuck himself against it as if he were planning to shut it on her.
She crossed her arms over her stomach and all but tapped her toe. “Move to the side, old man.”
He winced. Just as she planned. He valued his virility. Looking good for his age meant he could go on pretending not to be old. He also pretended she didn’t notice he was old.
“Where did you… who told you this?”
Her mouth fell open. “Oh, please, as if that is the issue here. Everyone knew. Right? Everyone understands what Lloyd’s assistant means, don’t they? Except me, huh? It doesn’t matter at all. What matters is what you did and were planning to do.”
He threw his hands up as if under arrest. “Okay. Okay. You’re right. That’s what I do. And what I’ve done for years. I hire women to work as my assistant and then I sleep with them. But… Wait!”
She started to push past him.
“You intend to hold me here? I will get you arrested for false imprisonment. Let me go.” She snarled at him, glaring right into his face.
He put his hands up as if he were under arrest. “I’m not holding you here. I just… give me five minutes. Just five minutes and then you can report me to… to someone, anyone and claim sexual harassment.”
That got her attention. She whipped her face up towards him. “How have you never been reported for that? Your underlings don’t owe you any sexual acts for your cooperation.”
“I know. I don’t behave that way towards any woman. Even you. Think about it. Have I ever propositioned you? Or threatened to fire you? Were you ever aware that I was checking you out? I know it’s not okay. I hire women whom I find attractive as my assistant. If I later sleep with them, it is only with their complete consent and after they welcome my advances. They all sign a nondisclosure and everything is right out in the open. Everyone knows what we’re doing and when it ends, they do not feel obligated to leave their employment here. I do not allow any sexual harassment. I swear to you.”
“Oh, well, congratulations. That makes all this,” Julia spread her hands to indicate his office and her, “so much classier. Wow. Give you a medal for such thorough planning. You seduce and use the women you hire for a job, except you ask their permission first and then make sure they sign a legal document before they claim what a douchebag you are.”
“I know. You’re right. I am. It always worked out before. But I swear to God, you’re the first one I’ve hired that actually performed well on the job. You took a real interest in doing it, and you learned quickly too. Hell, I got a kick out of it too. You’re pretty swift on the uptake and I started watching you figure things out. I must admit it was kind of an ego trip to see how much you could learn from me, but now, you’re helping me. Us. This company.”
She fisted her hands. “You hired me on to be your walking, breathing, living, blonde sex joke.”
“I did. And it never stopped you. You earned everyone’s respect. That wasn’t me changing their minds, it was you. And you also changed mine.”
“Oh, really? So when I quit, are you telling me the next young, twenty-something blonde isn’t going to be waiting in the wings?”
“Don’t quit then. This is legit.”
“It didn’t start that way. Why the fuck should I believe you?” Julia snarled just as she had at Chris less than an hour ago.
“I don’t know.” Lloyd threw his hands up in frustration. “I just know that you can do the job and I’m begging you to give me another chance. Please stay in my employment.”
She tilted her head. “That’s it? Stay in your employment?”
He nodded. “Yes,
that’s it. Stay in my employment.”
Her jaw locked. “You’re such a dick. Why should I work for you?”
“I’m pretty good at my job. I’ll quit being such a deluded dick. I’ll definitely avoid being that way with you. You can tell me when I do and make me more aware. Please stay. You can learn a lot from me and go far in this company. If you train with me.”
She scoffed. “Sounds like a lame line just to get up my skirt.”
“No. It’s a lame line to get you to stay. Why? Because I like working with you. I don’t like too many people. You. Chris. Walter. Margaret. I tend to avoid people most of the time. That’s why I like being boss. I can delegate the work out so I don’t have to spend a lot of time with the less ambitious employees. But I like you four, which is why I spend more time with you guys and I like teaching you the job. Think about it.”
She squinted at him as if she were using laser vision to see into his heart, and cut through his bullshit. He could spin anything, she guessed, and was a perfect salesman. But he did spend a lot of extra time with Chris and Walter. Margaret masters her job so he could let Margaret be.
He sighed. “Sit. Please? Let me tell you about something before you decide to leave or not. Sue me or not.”
She did, but was careful not to cross her legs or give off any inadvertent feminine signals. “What?”
“Someday, I want to slow down. Not fully retire, but maybe only work half days or two days a week. I like overseeing it all but not doing the nitty-gritty jobs that I do now. In order to do that in a way I feel comfortable, I’ll need only the best people to fill in for me. This…” he twirled his hand around, “this is all I have in the world. What you see around you is all I have to show for my life’s work. It’s the only decent thing about me. I have three failed marriages and no kids. No son—”
“Or daughter,” she interrupted.
He nodded. “Or daughter, no one to leave this place to. So I either work forever or find a way to gradually let it go. I work ten-hour days just to keep it out of the red. I’m getting tired of that. I’d like to slow down. Just a little. And I have a plan. I’ve been looking around for the last few years to find people I can trust. And like. People I want to work with and teach. Their experience is not as important as natural talent, leadership, loyalty, ethics and the desire to solve problems. Ethics are very important to this company. As you no doubt, know, there are a lot charlatans in this business. I’m not one of them. We run an honest, forthright, and quality business and provide only the best end product. I want to see that continue. My reputation has to be upheld, even if I’m not always at the helm. So I need people I can trust.”