Aine is wearing a horrified expression, and then looks at Lila’s face. Aine’s eyes return to mine with a renewed determination as she nods.
“I’ll see you two in a few hours.” I reply and turn my back to nod at Dagda, who snaps his fingers. The world shifts and I get that falling feeling again. Next thing I know, we are standing in a different white marble room that has small alcoves with trees and plants growing in them.
“Hello Father. Is the situation at the gate settled?” A blonde haired woman behind me asks. She is about 5’8” with light brown eyes and a magnificent bust that is accented by the green dress that she is currently wearing. The front of the dress is laced up and shows a tremendous amount of cleavage while accentuating her hourglass shape. The woman isn’t slender, but she also isn’t fat; I might categorize her as husky if I didn’t hate that word so much, because it makes me think I’m calling the person a dog…is sturdy any better?
“It is, Brighid. Can you start the preparations for a feast, to be held in three hours time?” Dagda asks.
“Yes father, but what is the occasion?” Brighid asks.
“Lila has returned home. Now then, I need to take care o’ somethin’.” Dagda says and snaps his fingers. After the falling feeling, we wind up in an open, grass covered field.
“Are you fine with hand-to-hand combat?” Dagda asks.
“Yes, that’s fine. Just try to avoid breaking anything. I heal quickly, but I’ll still require a fair amount of time and I already need about an hour’s rest before dinner to replenish my blood supply.” I inform him.
“Aye boyo. Now in addition to bein’ strong and fast, and I assume you already know about the density of our bones, Aengus will also be usin’ either Moralltach or Gae Derg: a sword and spear that stop all regeneration on godly levels so you will want to be careful. Let’s start by gettin’ you accustomed to the speed first.” Dagda says.
Dagda takes off at a speed that my eyes can just barely follow. He is moving at the speed I was last night; a speed that I’m relatively unsure that I can replicate. I block three punches before Dagda delivers an uppercut to my stomach. I reinforce my abdominal muscles, but the punch still feels like getting hit with a brick and it drops me to a knee.
“Are you sure you’re up to this boyo?” Dagda asks.
“Yeah…luckily I have an ace in the hole, so long as I get my blood level back up. All I really need to do is be fast enough; the weapon I’ll be using levels the playing field in strength. Let’s go again.” I say.
“Cole! What’s happening!?” Cheza says urgently through our connection.
“It’s alright Cheza, I’m just having a friendly sparring match with Dagda. He knows about what is going to be discussed at tomorrow’s meeting and he’s helping me by showing me how higher level gods fight.” I say calmly while choosing my words carefully. I’m not entirely sure if Cheza can tell when I’m lying through our connection, but I’d rather not chance it right now.
“Well, why can’t you both come here and do that?” Cheza asks. Shit…
“Because there’s going to be a feast to celebrate the return of the fairy princess, Lila.” I think, hoping that she will be as distracted by the princess thing as I was.
“So Lila’s a princess…that’s cool. Do you think I could come?” Cheza asks. Well that plan backfired.
“I don’t think Dagda would mind. The dinner isn’t for a few hours so we will port to the house around then.” I reply, keeping it nice and vague so that I am not lying.
“Okay! Should I wear anything in particular?” Cheza asks.
“I really liked that dress you wore to your graduation party; do you have another one like it?” I inquire.
“Sure, I’ll wear that then! I’ll see you in a little while!” Cheza thinks.
“Yep, I’ll see you soon!” I think and close the connection.
“Alright, let’s go again.” I say to Dagda.
We spend the next hour sparring without getting any real results besides getting my eyes adjusted to seeing at that speed.
“I don’t feel right sendin’ you to fight Aengus boyo; you will only get kill’t.” Dagda says.
“I’ll be fine as long as I get some rest beforehand. I’m confident that he will never see what’s coming.” I say confidently even though I have some doubts.
I’m going to have to be careful about this one. If any of the stories are true, Aengus is smart enough that if he sees a bunch of blood coming from my hand, I will lose my element of surprise, which would be catastrophic.
“Okay lad, I’ll show you to a bed.” Dagda says while snapping his fingers. We are in a bedroom that I’m guessing is back at the palace where Brighid was. The bedroom is simple with only a desk and a queen sized canopy bed.
“Hey Dagda, I just thought of something. It would be a good idea for us to not eat tonight, in case Aengus poisons the food. The same goes for Lila and Aine as well. It may just be better for me to duel him before dinner starts.” I point out.
“Good thinkin’ lad! Gods are resistant to poisons, but fairies aren’t. Before dinner would probably be best; the duel will muck up the atmosphere, but it is better this way.” Dagda says.
“Alright; I’ll get some rest now. See you at the feast.” I say as Dagda leaves the room.
I fall backwards onto the bed and I’m out within seconds.
…
Chapter 17: Can’t I go to even a single party this month without having to fight somebody?
I’m woken several hours later by a knock on the door as Brighid enters the room.
“My father asked me to come and wake you.” She says while wearing the same dress from earlier.
“Hmm? Oh, thank you.” I mumble still slightly asleep.
Brighid frowns and studies me for a moment before snapping her fingers.
“Much better!” Brighid says with a smile and leaves the room.
“Come out when you are ready, dinner is starting!” Brighid calls out from the hallway.
As I remember some stories about Brighid, I realize that I would probably describe her as ‘milftastic’. A thought suddenly pops into my head: the handle for the Mu-cutter is visible in my right hand and since Aengus is supposedly clever, it may be enough to completely fuck things up.
“Airi, any suggestions?”
(The handle is necessary for the Mu-cutter to form)
“Well anything in my hand is going to give me away…can the handle take on a different shape? Like a bracelet for instance?”
(Now you are asking the correct questions. Yes, the handle can take any shape as long as the mass isn’t lessened. A bracelet would be adequate, so long as there are two anchor points for the ‘blade’)
I look around for anything I can use to slice my wrist open. I spot a letter opener on the desk.
“Airi, please block out Cheza until I’m back home.” I use the opener to cut across my right wrist. “And, could you please form a bracelet over my cut? I’ll leave the design up to your artistic discretion.”
I watch as a dark red, two inch wide, thin bangle with square holes on the left and right sides wraps around my wrist. This really intricate black symbol forms on the top: (Going from the outside inward) Square with block T-shapes on each side, circle, sun hieroglyph, circle, and then five upside-down triangles. (5.5 Liters)
“Thanks, this is certainly interesting Airi. Is there any meaning behind it?…Airi?”
I guess she doesn’t want to talk about it. I head out of the room and in the direction with the most noise. Walking out of a hallway, I see that I am on the balcony of the right side of a banquet hall. At the back of the room is a large U-shaped table where the various gods are sitting, all wearing various semi-formal attire. There is roughly fifty feet at the center of the U. Twenty feet from each of the sides of the U are two rows of six, long tables that follow along the walls and span the length of the room; these tables are all full of soldiers wearing leather armor. Everyone together, there have to be at l
east three hundred people here. I see Lila and Aine sitting on the end of the left side of the U-shaped table. There is an empty seat next to them that I assume is reserved for myself. Lila is wearing a white sundress that looks nice on her, much better than my t-shirt did at least.
I go back down the hallway, take a right and then a left while looking for a staircase leading down. I take another right and I find myself back on a balcony, but on the left side of the room. I go back down the hallway, take a completely different order of turns, and find myself back on the right balcony again. I go back and try again, this time I walk straight as much as possible and still wind back up on the left balcony.
“To hell with this!” I say exasperatedly and look over the edge of the balcony. It doesn’t look that far and there is nothing below me so I jump. I realize that it ended up being a lot farther than it looked, as I land behind Aine with a loud thump. Aine yelps, causing everyone in the fairly loud hall to shut up and turn to look at me.
“Uh…I would make some stupid pun about ‘just dropping in,’ but that isn’t really my style and in reality, I just couldn’t find the stairs.” I say to the hall. This gets a few laughs from a handful of the soldiers, but almost everyone is just staring at me incredulously. I hear giggling from two points in the room.
“Hehe, Cole…what are you wearing!?” Lila asks as she tries to reign in her giggling while pointing at my chest.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” I incredulously say as I look at the faded green, vintage, Lucky Charms t-shirt on my chest. I direct my attention to Brighid, who is sitting to the right of Dagda and is still giggling.
“I couldn’t have you coming to dinner shirtless! And yes, I am kidding you. Besides, this is probably more appropriate!” Brighid says, snaps her fingers, and then winks at me as she continues laughing. The shirt stayed the same, but now an image of Tinkerbell is on the front; this gets some laughs.
“No wait, I have a better one!” Brighid says as she snaps her fingers again.
Now my shirt has a picture of a Chihuahua and Paris Hilton. It takes me a few seconds to remember that Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua is named Tinkerbell, and then I start laughing even though most of the room isn’t. I guess this joke was directed at my sensibilities instead of mass appeal. Well, Brighid is the goddess of fire, creativity and poets, and what were poets if not the world’s first stand-up comedians?
“Okay, this is pretty good! Can you change it to something normal now, please?” I ask.
“Alright, I’ll see if I can pick something that suits you…” Brighid says with a hand on her chin, staring skyward, and then she snaps her fingers.
A hot pink t-shirt with the word ‘JUICY’ bedazzled on the chest.
I laugh along with the rest of the hall as I take my seat; mainly because I’m not sure if this is an insult or a compliment…
(You are going to look fabulous while you are torturing Aengus to death in a few minutes)
Oh, right…I had completely forgotten about that. Man…Everyone is having fun and now I have to go and ruin it! This must be what police officers feel like when they break up a party.
“Someone told you about not eating anything, right?” I whisper to Aine and Lila. They both look at me solemnly and nod. “Well, I guess it’s about time to start this.”
“AENGUS! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!” I shout across the room. The blonde pretty-boy on the right wing of the U-table is the first to look at me; with the white tux that he is wearing, Aengus looks just how I’d expect a god of love and youth to look. I start the draw for the Mu-cutter from the cut below my bangle as the blood drips from my hand underneath the table.
“We are about to start eating! Perhaps after dinner…” Aengus says with a smile and a haughty English accent that immediately makes me hate him.
“I know that you’re the one behind Lila’s kidnapping and imprisonment as a ploy to try and take control of the Tuatha De Danann before joining the Norse, so this duel is happening NOW!” I yell as Aengus’s face falls and the Mu-cutter connects under the table.
(4.0 Liters. Warning: Slicing through tables is not inconspicuous)
“That is a ludicrous accusation…” Aengus trails off as he looks at his father’s angry face.
“Fine. Weapons?” Aengus asks stoutly.
“Any and all! YOU CAN EVEN USE THAT PANSY-ASS MORALLTACH OR GAE DERG!” I shout as I stand, being careful of the Mu-cutter’s placement. I notice that the blade shape has changed from that of a gladius to an elongated pentagon that avoids my right hand; it looks similar to the Volcom logo, with the bangle as the base. Aengus’s face darkens as he stands while I see that a gruff face to the left of Dagda is glaring at me. The glaring man has cropped black hair and full beard with a little bit of grey in it; the creases on his face make me think he is in his fifties, like Dagda, even though I know that they’re both much older.
“I meant no disrespect towards your craftsmanship Manannan mac Lir. I simply meant that in the hands of this poofter, they may as well be butter knives.” I say to the glaring Celtic god of the sea. He gives the ‘well alright then’ nod and I walk around to the center of the U-table.
“May I borrow one of your swords?” I ask while turning towards the soldiers’ tables.
A soldier stands up, walks over, and holds the scabbard on his belt up for me to draw the sword.
“Ah, yes; thank you. This will be adequate enough for me to kill that bastard.” I say as I inspect the double-edged long sword that is in my left hand.
“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” Aengus says, finally snapping from my taunting; I guess I chose correctly when thinking that Aengus might be a little sore about the circumstances of his birth.
The soldier runs back to his seat as Aengus storms around the table at the speed of a brisk walk while snapping his fingers. His clothes change into jeans and a t-shirt, and he is holding an ornate sword when Aengus meets me in the center. His face is red with anger as he glares at me while Dagda shouts start in Gaelic…I think. At least I’m pretty sure he said start because Aengus charges at me with Moralltach. I use the sword in my left hand to parry as I look for an opening to take him out.
I am quite clearly outclassed in speed, strength, and skill. With Moralltach being able to cut me to the point where it will never heal, I’m being very careful to avoid his sword. If I use the Mu-cutter carelessly, there is a decent chance that he’ll manage to get a slash in that I won’t be able to heal, leading to my bloody death. I block six more times while getting pushed back towards the table; I’m really glad the sword is standing up to Aengus’s strikes.
Aengus makes a diagonal downward slash from left to right. I extend my left arm out to block it, and I fall into the trap. When I would fence with Uncle Eric, there was a move he would occasionally use that I never got the hang of; he would get me to block an attack that was further away than normal before making a quick circle with his sword, causing it to go around my block, disarming me, and finally finishing with a stab to the chest. I am able to jump back before Aengus gets in the stab to the chest, but not before he disarms me and slices off my left little-finger.
“AHH! FUCK!” I scream as I hear the sword skittering across the marble flooring. I grab onto my left hand subconsciously as it starts to bleed, luckily missing my Mu-cutter.
“Haha! This is the end for you!” Aengus taunts as he slowly advances, sure of his victory.
“Ha ha…hahaha…” I laugh maniacally as my helmet wraps around my head.
“HAHAHAHA!” I continue laughing, my voice warping as the helmet completes.
“YOU THINK THIS TO BE THE END!?” I shout with the creepy overlapping voice as Aengus advances angrily.
“You think that helmet will save you!? THINK AGAIN!” Aengus screams as he makes the type of strike I’ve been waiting for: a diagonal slash that would sever me from right shoulder to left hip.
‘Would’ is the keyword there, as I keep my elbow tucked in while I subtly bring my right arm u
p like I’m waving at him. The Mu-cutter hits his right wrist at the perfect time for the momentum to cause the sword to fly over my shoulder, hand and all, where it clatters to the floor. Aengus’s furious face is eliminated as his eyes widen and his brain tries to process how in the hell his hand came off. I follow up with a quick slice through his right knee. Aengus’s screams reach my ears as his body falls to the floor.
“AENGUS OG! I shall now list off your crimes! One: Treason and therefore threatening the wellbeing of Chezarei. The punishment for this is death. Two: This one trumps the death penalty from your first crime. Ahem…YOU STRIPPED A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL AND LOCKED HER IN A CAGE IN A PITCH BLACK BASEMENT, YOU SICK FUCK!” I scream with the creepy voice as I kick him in the face.
“I think it only fair that since you stripped a thirteen year old girl of her clothes, that you get stripped of your skin!” I exclaim and slice off all the skin and clothes from his left side, ending with the removal of his entire left arm at the shoulder.
The symphony of screams is playing tonight at the Metropolitan!
I continue flaying his sides, and chest. I feel my ecstasy competing with my anger for control of the situation; and anger wins by a finger!
“PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP!” Aengus screams.
“How many times do you think Lila screamed that as the Daeva were spraying her naked body with a fire hose!? HOW MANY!?” I scream as I slice off the rest of his right leg. I have no idea about the naked hosing, but it sounds good when angrily screamed.
“SOMEBODY JUST END THIS HELL!” Aengus screeches.
“I’m sure that is exactly what Lila thought as she sat naked in that cage for three days; THREE FUCKING DAYS!” I shout as his left leg comes off.
“JUST KILL ME ALREADY!” Aengus shouts.
“All I’m doing is giving you a taste of what you wanted to do to Chezarei and of what you did do to that young girl…You shall receive no quarter from me.” I say quietly as I cut off the rest of his right arm at the shoulder. Aengus’s body starts to slowly disintegrate where I’ve severed his limbs, moving towards his head as he screams.
Mania and the Executioner Page 15