“It will be a while before Hugh is recovered enough to manage without him,” said Edmund, hastily, trying to hurry them all towards the church.
“What is it that makes you such a good physician?” Edwina asked, innocently, stopping in front of Alais so that they all had to stop. Alais drew a breath to reply, but Edwina carried on. “Is it the way in which your small, delicate hands mix the ingredients for his potions, or is it your pretty face or your sweet voice?”
Edmund coughed. “What do you mean?”
“I am just curious as to which of the physician’s skills give Hugh the most comfort.” Edwina smiled up at Edmund.
“Would you have had Hugh die in your house?” asked Edmund harshly.
“You told us he would die,” Thomas reminded him, gently, “when you brought him to us. But it was a great disservice to bring his mistress into my house.”
“She is not his mistress,” said Edmund, backing his brother-in-law up against a wall and raising a fist.
“Then why come disguised as a man?” Thomas, although much shorter than Edmund, refused to be afraid of him.
“That was for my own protection,” said Alais, stepping up to Edmund and pulling his fist down. “I am sorry to have lied to you. I am a healer and I am not Hugh’s mistress, but it is better that you do not know who I am, for all our sakes.”
Now Thomas did look afraid. He looked beyond Alais at his wife, then seemed to become determined. “Very well. I can see that you are a great healer. Hugh was a dead man, but now he lives. I also believe that you are not his mistress. Hugh has always respected the marriage bed, his own and that of others. But as soon as Hugh is well enough you must go. You do intend to stay until he is well, I suppose?”
Edmund nodded. “We will all leave together.”
“How long?” asked Edwina. Edmund frowned, but Alais could not blame her, she, too, would want to know when her now unwelcome guests would leave, if she were in Edwina’s place.
“Another fortnight,” she said confidently, “perhaps less. Hugh is very strong and should recover quickly.”
“You may stay until then,” said Thomas, “Hugh has helped us so much, we can hardly throw him out when he is ill.”
Edmund stepped away from him. “Thank you.”
They continued on their way to church, but Alais wondered how long it would be before they realised who she was and demanded that they leave immediately.
Alais was pleased that Hugh seemed to be getting a little better each day and his colour began to return. His wound no longer looked as angry as it had. He no longer flinched every time he moved. He began walking slowly around the room and they all took their meals together downstairs with the family. Alais still maintained her disguise in the hope that the children would not know who had been sheltering in their home. After a week Hugh was able to leave the house, leaning heavily on Edmund’s arm, but walking nonetheless. The day after that he persuaded Edmund to help him start training again and they borrowed the wooden swords that Thomas’ and Edwina’s sons played with. They started slowly, with Alais looking on, then she joined in, “To make sure that you do not overdo things,” she explained as they looked on in surprise. She had watched Sir William’s wards train at Liss and she was scared that Edmund would get carried away and tire Hugh or that the exercise would put too much strain on his wound, but Edmund took his responsibilities seriously and had worked out a routine that stretched Hugh, but did not demand too much of him. When they had finished, Alais was satisfied that no harm had come to him and saw that she now had to hand over responsibility for Hugh’s recovery to Edmund.
Now that she no longer had to be watching Hugh or making poultices or potions for him Alais began to be restless. Her mind lingered on what would happen when they arrived at Liss. Sir William would know that they had been together. She wondered whether the servants had arrived yet, or whether they had even set out. She had not been paying attention to the weather and it was possible that it still snowed and they were all still at the palace. She wondered how she could find out without riding to the palace and asking. After two days of mulling it over she decided that this would be a sensible thing to do, but Hugh was furious when she mentioned it to him.
“Is it not enough that you risked your life to come here in the first place, must you risk it again on something this frivolous?”
“I do not think it frivolous. If they have not left, I can return with them and Sir William will not know that I disobeyed him.”
“And where will you tell him you have been all this time?”
Alais hesitated. This was the weak part of her plan. “I do not know,” she said lamely. “I cannot pretend that I was lost in the palace for two weeks, or that I was taken unwell, or that Lord Neville wanted me as his secretary again.”
“No,” said Hugh, “it is not a good idea. If you want to get out of the house, Edmund will go with you, but you may not go to the palace.”
“I am not yours to command,” she spat, suddenly angered by his spirited refusal.
He bowed. “I beg your pardon, my lady, you are correct when you say that you are not mine to command. However, my love for you demands that I do everything possible to keep you alive.”
His sudden calm allowed Alais to see how wrong she had been.
“I am sorry, Hugh. You are right, it was a foolish idea. I will not mention it again.”
He turned away stiffly, “I am glad to hear it.”
The next few days seemed interminable as Hugh quarrelled with both Alais and Edmund at the slightest excuse. Edmund eventually took Hugh out of the house and walked with him until he was exhausted. Alais assumed from the chastened expression on Hugh’s face when they returned, that Edmund had also taken the opportunity to express himself more clearly than he would have been comfortable doing in her presence. It made no difference. Alais knew that Hugh was thinking about how his father would receive them, as she was. Edmund was a free man and could go straight to Leigh to meet his family, although Alais knew that he would ride with them to Liss and then leave them there. She did not know what Hugh would do. It would be better for him to return to Hill and leave her to her fate. She had begun to worry lately that he would challenge his father over her. As each day passed, the more likely she thought this was and it seemed that Edmund agreed with her. The idea was unbearable; Alais knew that she had disobeyed her husband and would be punished. That was only right. If that punishment brought about her death, so be it. The alternative was to watch Hugh marry Katherine, knowing that that marriage would be as cold and lifeless as her own.
Chapter Sixteen
“How did you know?” Alais asked Edwina when they were alone on their last afternoon in the merchant’s house in Southwark, preparing for the evening meal.
“That you were not a man?”
“Yes. I tried so hard not to give it away.”
“Never fear, you did not. When I saw you I was convinced that you were a man, well, a boy. No, it was Hugh. He was so insistent that Edmund fetch you that I knew you were more to him than a physician. I guessed that Alfred was a disguise, but when I saw that you had short hair I took you for a boy.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat where she was stirring something over the fire. “For a while I was afraid that Hugh had grown to be like Geoffrey.” Alais remembered the boy who had brought about Geoffrey’s death and her eyes opened wide in a new appreciation of what Hugh had carefully not told her. Hilda saw her expression. “No, I know he is not. Hugh is a good man. Such sin would be beyond him.”
Wondering how Edwina seemed to know something that was not even whispered at Liss, Alais regained control of herself, “How did you know in the end?”
“It was simple,” grinned Edwina, “he said your name.”
“Ah. That was careless of him. So you know who I am.”
“Of course I know, Alfred. You are a great physician and the whole of Southwark will know once you are gone. They will be sad to hear that you have moved south with your lord
and will not be available to heal their aches and pains.”
Alais smiled her thanks. Such a story would protect them all, especially Thomas and Edwina.
“You have been very kind to us. I am very grateful.”
“Did you know that Hugh gave me my dowry?” Alais shook her head. “Without it I would have had to marry one of the serfs at Liss and then I would have had to be near him…my father.”
Alais frowned. “I thought Sir William ignored all his illegitimate children?”
Edwina nodded. “He pretends we do not exist. He also takes every pretty girl at Liss to his bed.”
Alais could not hide her shock or her disgust. “Hugh had me married off just in time. No man at Liss knows whether his children are his or Sir William’s.”
That explained much, why there were so many secrets at Liss and why everyone was so unhappy.
“And are you happy here?” Alais finally managed to ask.
“Oh yes.” A brilliant smile flashed across Edwina’s face. “Thomas is a good man, a good husband and a good father. That is why I will do anything for Hugh. He made it possible. He is also a good man and will be a good father.”
“Then Lady Katherine will have much to be grateful for,” said Alais, more bitterly than she had intended.
“Who is she?”
“She is the woman that Hugh is to marry.”
Edwina was surprised. “Hugh is not to marry you?”
Alais had not realised that Edwina was so cut off from events at Liss. Surely Hilda must have visited them during the four months she had been at court. If Hilda had not told the story of Sir William’s betrothed coming to Liss, it was certainly not Alais’ place to tell them exactly who she was. She shook her head, “No, I am betrothed to another.”
“But Hugh loves you,” protested Edwina.
“Love is not enough,” said Alais, surprised at the asperity in her voice.
“Then I am sorry for you.”
“I do not want your pity.” Alais stood, knocking over the pot into which they had been placing vegetables.
“It is not my pity that I give. I simply share your sorrow that you are to marry a man you do not love.” Edwina bent to begin picking up the vegetables.
“I apologise. Please do not tell Hugh.”
“That you do not love your husband?”
“That I love him.”
Edwina nodded. “You are right. He is probably the only person in this house who does not know what is before his very eyes. Have no fear. I will not tell him. So, tell me about this Lady Katherine who is to be his bride. What manner of woman is she?”
Alais sat down again and began to describe Katherine. She had not intended to be fully truthful, not wishing to distress a woman who loved Hugh, but she found herself giving a complete description of Katherine. By the time the meal was ready, Edwina, too, was very subdued.
For the first time since she had arrived at Thomas’ house, Alais and Hugh were alone. Edmund was packing their bags and making sure their two horses were ready for the journey. Alais was sitting at the seat looking out of the window, wondering what sort of weather they would have today. Hugh came and knelt at her feet.
“My lady, I fear I said many things to cause you sorrow when I was ill.”
Alais looked at him in surprise. “It was the fever talking, not you.”
Hugh’s expression was contrite. “It was me talking, the fever merely loosened my tongue.”
Alais did not know how to reply. His sudden formality worried her.
“My lady? Alais?” She relaxed again, then she remembered that they had only three more days when they could call one another by name.
“Hugh, I have known more sorrow and more happiness in these last few days than I have ever known.” This was no more than the truth. Even her mother’s death had not caused as much sorrow as the realisation that she loved and was loved in return, but was promised to another. “Wait.” She held up her hand, as he would have spoken. “I thought you were dead, yet you lived.”
“And the rest?”
“The rest?”
“Alais, I love you. I do not want you to marry my father.” She longed to reach out and touch his face as she had done in the king’s palace
“I cannot do anything else, you know that.” She made to stand, but he caught and held her hands, pulling her back onto the seat. He brought both her hands to his lips and kissed them. Alais felt dizzy at his touch, but could not afford to let him see it. His face was as pale as it had been when Edmund had first brought her to this house. He looked up at her in hope. “And if you were free?”
And if I were free, thought Alais, I would go with you to the ends of the earth. I would never leave your side and I would spend every minute of every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. She fought against the smile that such a picture summoned to her face.
“I am not free.” She tried to pull free of his hands, but he held her fast.
“At least tell me you love me. I can bear anything if I know that.”
“How? How could that make a difference?”
She saw that Hugh’s eyes were full of tears. She felt his pain in her own heart. Perhaps it would be easier for him if he thought she did not love him, although she did not understand how he could not be aware of what she felt for him.
“How else can I live? When I thought I was going to die, I was happy, because I knew I would not see you married to my father. I thought I could not survive that…I will not survive that.” His voice fell to a whisper.
“You will,” said Alais, as sharply as she could, pulling her hands away from him, although she wished they could stay like that forever. “You will see me marry him and I will see you marry Katherine.”
“I will not marry her. I love you. I cannot… will not marry anyone else.”
“Then you will not marry. I am promised to you father and I will marry him.”
The tears began to spill from Hugh’s eyes. “At least tell me that you love me.”
“You know that I cannot.”
“Then kiss me.” Hugh lifted himself so that their faces were level.
“My body belongs to your father,” she said carefully, aware that he would hear only her words and not her meaning. Desperate to feel his lips against hers, not knowing where it would lead, she turned her face away, relieved that they were no longer touching and he could not feel the shudder through her body at the effort of turning away from him.
Hugh fell back on his heals. “Then I can have no hope.”
“There never was any hope,” said Alais, as she blinked away her own tears, hoping he could not see them. “I am your father’s wife. There could be nothing else.”
The door opened and Edmund entered. “Are you ready to go?” he asked, as Hugh pulled himself to his feet.
“Yes,” said Hugh, putting out a hand to help Alais from her seat. “Quite ready.”
There were many farewell hugs between Hugh and Edmund and Alais and Edwina and Thomas and the children. Hugh promised to send a messenger to let them know that they had arrived safely at their destination. Alais did not like the look that Edwina gave her, but she pretended not to notice. It was cold in the street and the family went back inside without watching them leave. Alais was grateful. It had only been a few short days, but she had enjoyed the company of Edwina and Thomas. They were uncomplicated people who did not seem to have secrets and whose thoughts were clearly visible to anyone who had the patience to watch their faces and listen to their words. Alais was sorry to be leaving them. She had been happy in their home and she knew that she was going to unhappiness.
Full Moon greeted her as if he had not seen her for months instead of hours. She fed him the apple that Edwina had given her. Edmund turned to her and held out his hand. “My lady, will you ride with me on my horse or your own?”
“You will not ride with her on any horse,” shouted Hugh angrily, pulling Edmund away and punching him in the face so hard that Edmund
fell to the ground. “Touch her again and I will kill you.”
“Stop!” Alais threw herself in front of Hugh, afraid that he would hit Edmund again as he struggled to his feet. Deliberately, she turned her back to Hugh and examined Edmund’s face.
“Do not touch him!”
Alais did not deign to respond, but continued to examine Edmund’s face, her back to Hugh. She searched in her pouch for the ointment that would do most good and retrieved a small pot. Angling Edmund’s face so that she could put the ointment in the right place, she dabbed it on carefully. They exchanged glances and Alais sighed. Once she had completed her task, she stepped aside.
Edmund straightened and faced Hugh. “I seek only to protect you from yourself.”
“I told you, I shall kill any man who touches Lady Alais.”
“Does that include your father?”
Alais screamed as Hugh launched himself at Edmund again, but Edmund simply stepped aside and Hugh fell into the melting ice that filled the street outside Thomas’ shop.
“Stop!” shouted Alais, afraid that Hugh would die of cold from the ice in the street.
Edmund offered a hand to his brother, but was refused.
“You will die of the cold,” hissed Alais at Hugh.
“Then I will die of the cold.” Hugh looked so despondent that Alais was shaken to her core. How much worse could things be when they arrived at Liss?
“Pick him up,” she said to Edmund. Edmund obeyed without a moment’s hesitation and Alais felt a moment of victory that the man who had followed Hugh so devotedly for so many years was now hers to command. Hugh did not fight his brother this time and Alais was scared that he had lost the will to live, which had been so precarious these last two weeks. Hugh stood before her, shivering in the cold from the ice into which he had fallen.
“Do you have another cloak?” Alais knew it was a stupid question.
“No.”
“Take it off.” Hugh obeyed without question. Alais removed her own cloak. “Take this. I will ride with you and we will try to warm one another.”
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