“It is. Besides, I’m sure it might make your mother a little more comfortable to know the woman she caught you screwing isn’t in her home anymore.”
Frowning, he said, “You heard that?”
“Yes. I did.”
“Well, it’s not just her home, you know. Besides, Mom knows I’m a grown man. I respect her and all, but she walked in on us. We were behind closed doors.”
“You didn’t sound so convinced of what you were saying when you were down there. In fact, you still insisted we were just friends. But what I’d like to know is how did you answer her question.”
“What question?”
“The one about if you’re using me to appease her? Am I just a toy to you?”
Dropping his head, Bryce sighed before looking back up at me. “Baby, come on. You know that’s not what this is.”
“Do I, Bryce? Because I’m not so sure anymore. I don’t know what I know, and I don’t know how you feel.”
“My feelings for you are strong, PJ. It’s not some game to me.”
“Are you sure about that, Bryce? Because I feel like another chapter in your book about now.”
His face scrunched into a scowl.
“How the hell can you say some shit like that to me when I brought you home? Here around my family.”
“And introduced me as your friend!” I pointed out. “What the hell are we doing anymore? Can you tell me that, Bryce? What are we doing?”
He turned his eyes away from mine, which hurt worse than any words he could have said. Tears filled my eyes, causing the image of him in front of me to blur. I didn’t have it in me to wipe them away. I needed to put it all on the line. Because if he walked away from me putting myself out there like that this time, I was done.
“Are we going to do this? I mean, are we going to try to make this work or not? It’s not like I’m asking for a ring, just reassurance. I’ve been down this road before, and I don’t want to keep being the one that keeps getting the short end of the stick. Because this shit hurts!”
His eyes widened, and I knew it was because I’d cursed. That wasn’t something I did often.
Walking toward me, Bryce grabbed my shoulders. “Look, maybe this wasn’t the right time. Maybe we’re both moving too fast. I’m not trying to hurt you, PJ, I just...”
“You just what?” I prompted.
“Honestly? After that shit that happened last night at the party, I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
The tears that I’d shed before had nothing on the waterfall that came after he turned and walked out the door.
CHAPTER 26 – BRYCE
“WELL, IT LOOKS AS IF your dry spell is over! Bryce, this story is genius! Even your writing style is different here. If I didn’t know any better, I’d wonder if you’d hired a ghostwriter at some point in your career,” Aria gloried as she tapped her hand on her iPad.
“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered, looking into the coffee in my mug.
“Hey, what’s with the glum face?”
I glanced up at my agent/friend and gave her a ghost of a smile. “Nothing. I’ve finished the manuscript, and I’m just tired now.”
“Cut the bull, Bryce. You’ve not been the same since you returned from your brother’s wedding Labor Day weekend. It’s been what?”
“One month and three days,” I grumbled.
“Wow! Okay...mind telling me what’s behind that? Behind this?” she asked, thumping her iPad.
I hadn’t done anything except for write since I’d returned from Cormorant Island for Bishop and Gianna’s Labor Day weekend wedding.
“It’s just a book, Aria.”
“No, it’s more than that. It’s got passion. Power. And...pain. Who is she?”
“There’s no she, Aria. Damn, why does everyone assume when a man hits a rough patch a woman is behind it?”
Aria tilted her raven-colored head to the side a bit, pursed her lips, and looked up at my ceiling. Looking back at me, she said, “Because there is. Now. What’s her name?”
I pulled a hand down my face, groaning. “Look, didn’t I get you what you needed?”
“A name. A name is what I need, Bryce.”
I pushed up from my couch and sighed. “There’s no name, Aria. I gave you the manuscript now can you please get the hell out of my place?”
“Nope, not gonna do it,” she said, bouncing her red-bottom shoe up and down. “Look, you’re my client, and it’s in both of our best interests to make sure that the product you produce is A-1. I have to make sure that nothing gets in the way of the investment Martin and Kane Publications invest in. But barring all of that, you’re my friend. And as a friend, I care about you. Am I glad you finally submitted the manuscript? Hell yes! And it’s a damned good one. But what’s most important is your mental health.”
“My mental health?” I asked before taking a sip of my coffee and turning my back on her to walk to the sliding glass door of my balcony.
“Yes. The fact that you’ve not had a haircut in a few weeks, you’re badly in need of a shave, and you’ve taken to ordering groceries online instead of getting fresh fruits and veggies daily from the corner market like you used to. And you’re eating out more than normal. And...and this is the biggie. You stink! I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve washed your funky nuts and ass, but friend! You need to get in the shower!”
I turned around with my coffee mug halfway to my lips, glowering at her. Her serious expression let me know she wasn’t playing with me. I couldn’t help it when the laughter fell from my lips.
I laughed so hard that tears sprung to my eyes.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
Swiping at the corners of my eyes, I stopped laughing, but still maintained a smile. “Hell, I don’t know. You just used the Ph.D. I didn’t know that you had to pronounce me mentally incompetent because I didn’t care to wash my balls and ass.”
“Well, you’ve always been on top of your game when it came to grooming. So whatever you’re going through, I know it is serious, Bryce. I’m just worried about you.”
“Worried enough to proclaim I haven’t washed my nuts and ass?”
“Yes!” she said.
“Worried enough to come and wash them for me?” I asked, jerking my shirt up with one hand.
“If I have to!” she said, stalking towards me as I removed the shirt and tossed it on the floor.
Laughing, I said, “Not in your wildest dreams,” and headed to the bathroom. “Lock up on your way out.”
After I’d showered, I cut my hair off, giving myself a bald head. Looking in the mirror, I realized I’d changed dramatically in the last five weeks. I decided to leave the mustache and beard because it was a different look. One that I liked and figured might appeal to my audience.
What the hell had I been so scared of? Why was I afraid of letting anyone know the truth about my private life? What did I think I had to protect Peyton from?
None of it mattered if I lost her in the end, anyway. Did it?
I had some phone calls to make. The first one would be to my agent, knowing she hadn’t gotten too far.
“Ari, can you do me a favor?”
“SO, SHOULD THE WORLD continue to call you Ryan Warren or Bryce Lexington?” Naira Washington asked.
This was the first television interview I’d ever done, and I’d only capitulated because it served my purpose. I was glad Aria was able to get me in so quickly, only three weeks after my request. I knew she’d pulled some strings, and I had to reward her for it.
Smiling at Naira, I said, “Ryan. That’s who writes the books. Bryce just reaps the benefits.”
“Ryan, you’re every woman’s dream. You’re a handsome brotha who’s sexy, intelligent, Mr. Erotica, and you have a bookish appeal with those wire-framed glasses that highlight your beautiful brown eyes.”
“Thanks,” I said, ducking my head and running my hand over it as I chuckled softly.
“And those freckles
are really doing something for me. But I don’t know how I’ll ever get through this interview if you keep smiling at me like that. Ladies, do you see that gorgeous smile of his?”
I turned and looked at her audience and shared a private smile with them, laughing when they shouted, “Whooo!”
Naira Washington was a celebrity television reporter whose show Naira’s Tea aired at four PM on the west coast and one on the east coast.
We chatted about my past books, the number ones, my newest release, and my current WIP.
“So, here’s the million-dollar question that you never quite answer, but I’m hoping you will today.”
Forming a steeple of my fingers, I stared at Naira over them. “I’m all ears.”
“Who’s the woman that inspires your writing?”
I gave her another one of those smiles that made her shake her head.
“See, that’s the reason Permission to Shower After Reading is your slogan, and #slipperywhenwet is your hashtag. That smile.”
“Pantydropper!” I heard someone shout from the audience.
Shaking my head, I laughed. “Nah, that’s all, Trey Songz, darling. I’m Mr. Slippery because I’m guaranteed to make you wet.”
“I’m wet!” someone shouted in the audience, causing the rest of the audience and Naira to laugh.
“See, look at you coming onto my show starting trouble. I can’t even finish the interview. Not to mention, you still haven’t answered my question. Who is she? And don’t give me that same old response you always give, ‘She knows who she is, and that’s all that matters.’”
Naira invoked a gruff voice in imitation of me, making me laugh, as I pulled my hand over my face, smoothing my mustache and beard.
“I’ll tell you. I love women. You all are a beautiful work of art in all shades and sizes. I believe the Almighty created each of you uniquely different for the world to appreciate, and I worship the art that is a woman. So, every woman I’ve ever crossed has influenced my art in some form. Every woman I’ve ever been involved with has left a piece of her artistry ingrained in my soul, my body, and my brain. That’s what I pour out onto the pages. But this latest masterpiece...” I licked my bottom lip and bit it slowly.
All games aside, I looked into the camera. “There’s only one woman that influenced this art. And she’s the only woman who’s ever held my heart.”
“The tea, friend! We need you to spill the tea!” Naira said, giggling along with her audience.
I could feel the tension in the air as everyone waited.
“PJ. She’s the inspiration behind every damned thing I do, including breathing. Because without PJ, there’s no air. And that’s what I’ve come to learn in the last month, three weeks, and two days.”
“Damn, boy! It took you long enough to figure it out then. Most folks would’ve died with no air by now!” Naira said, laughing.
Nodding my head, I said, “Yeah, I pretty much have.”
“Brother, I don’t know who the lucky woman is, but PJ! Come collect yo’ man! Because I promise we have a roomful of women waiting to do just that. Including yours truly. Not to mention when you step out the doors of this studio onto the streets of L.A.,” Naira proclaimed.
I laughed along with her and her audience but didn’t truly feel it.
Somewhere deep inside, I could only hope that Bishop and Gianna together had been able to convince Peyton to watch this show per my request. She wasn’t a fan of the show, but at this time of day, her store was somewhat slow.
CHAPTER 27 – PEYTON
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
“I’m putting your things out where they belong!” I said, marching towards the front door with a box in my hands.
“Come on! You’re making a mountain out of a molehill!” Jacob argued, grabbing my arm.
“Let go of me!” I seethed, turning around, glaring at him. “You lied to me!”
“It was a tiny lie. Okay?”
Shaking my head in disbelief, I said, “A lie is a lie, and you’re a compulsive liar. And you’ve told more of them in the course of our marriage than most folks have in a lifetime, Jacob. You don’t know where a lie begins, and the truth ends. And I can’t put up with it anymore. I don’t have to!”
Unfortunately, when I’d returned home from the wedding, I’d given in and allowed Jacob to stay in the little apartment down in my basement. It had a small galley kitchen, bathroom, living area, one-bedroom, and access to the outdoors. He never had to come upstairs to bother me.
I had heard Jacob’s phone ringing on the front porch incessantly while he was cutting the grass. On the third round, I picked it up and noticed it was his sister-in-law, Traci. She was calling to notify Jacob that someone had delivered some important papers for him to their address.
While chatting with her, I discovered that Jacob was fired from his job because of poor attendance and stealing from the company.
“Just give me this one chance, Peyton.”
“Jacob, I’ve given you several chances throughout our marriage. I knew I was a fool to let you back into my life. Lying about your brother abusing his wife and kids? That’s low even for you, Jake!”
“Well, it’s a possibility, you know. I mean, after all, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, right?” he said, shrugging.
“You’re right, which is exactly why you’ve got to go! You’re too much like your father for me to even have an ounce of belief that you’ll change.”
“But I love you, Peyton! And I know we can work through our issues if we try. I just want a second chance with you.”
Laughing, I said, “Please! You don’t even love yourself. If you had, you wouldn’t have lied about having health issues. Why would you do that? And love has nothing to do with me, allowing you to stay with me. I gave you a chance to stay at my house to get on your feet again and get healthy because I was concerned about you. I’d do that for any human being, so don’t you dare make this about you and me! There’s no you and me!”
“Come on, please,” he said, reaching for my hand.
I clung desperately to the box in my hand.
“No! I spoke with your brother, and he confirmed everything that Traci said. There’ve been no beatings, you have no health issues, and you not only lost your job and apartment, but you blew through your savings to feed your gambling and alcohol addiction.”
“It didn’t quite happen like that.”
“It doesn’t matter how it happened; the fact is that it happened, Jake. Then they gave you the option to stay with them for a while. Logan told me that he didn’t want to put you out, but after he’d confronted you about stealing from them repeatedly and you continued to do it, he had no choice. Your brother, Jake? How could you?”
“That’s just like you. Always taking the other guy’s side,” he said, a vein throbbing in his temple as his face turned red.
“Logan said you stole from them to support your gambling.”
“I just needed the money to make some more money so that I could get out of their place for a while. I was going to pay them back,” Jacob said, running his fingers through his sweat laden hair.
“You know what hurts me the most?”
His eyes stared straight through me as if I weren’t standing there.
“The fact that you bet your brother that you could get me to take you back. Logan hadn’t known how to contact me to warn me. But he said that he told you he prayed that I wouldn’t be a fool. Is that what you think of me, Jacob? That I’m a fool, and you take my kindness for weakness?”
“Of course not.”
“What’s even sadder is that your mother told me to turn you away. She confirmed everything that Logan and Traci said, and then she begged me to get you out of my life for my good.”
I didn’t go on to tell him that she said I’d only be subjecting myself to a lifetime of misery as she had done if I did allow him back into my life.
“Thanks a lot, Ma,” he said snidely.
�
�Well, she did say that you’re welcome to come home if you need to. She says your dad and you had a conversation about it, but you turned down his offer. So, it’s not like you have no place to go, Jacob.”
“I don’t want to go live with that bastard.”
“Maybe it’s time you did. Maybe that’s exactly what you need to be healed and for your father and mother to get the healing they need. You may not have the illnesses you lied about, but your alcohol and gambling addictions are sicknesses. I can’t help you,” I said as tears filled my eyes.
“I know that we could be so happy if we only tried. I’ve learned so much from our first round and from all I’ve gone through with my brother.”
“I don’t think so, Jacob. If you don’t return to your parents’ home, you can get an extended stay hotel. But you can’t stay here. I’ve packed up your few belongings, and there’s one more box downstairs. I just want you to leave,” I said, setting the box down at his feet.
When he gazed back up at me for a brief moment, I saw the eyes of the man that I pledged my life to. A man that I never loved. I felt bad about that, but I’d never been able to do anything about that.
“Fine,” he said with a grim set to his lips.
I moved out of his way as he walked down the hall and toward the stairwell that led to the basement apartment that he’d used for the last month.
I waited patiently until he returned with the second box. Following him out of my house, I watched as he loaded his boxes into his car. He turned around and kicked my lawnmower.
“Peyton! I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you! You’re never going to do any better than me!” he shouted as spittle flew from his mouth.
I knew that wasn’t true. I’d already had better than him, but I’d lost my better.
He got into his car, slammed the door, and pulled off within a matter of seconds in a flash of orange Camaro, smoke, and burning rubber.
I looked up and spotted Miss Eugenia, a kind older woman who lived in a cottage across the street.
“Are you okay, Peyton?” she called out to me.
Undeniable: A Friends To Lovers Romance (Love Desired Book 4) Page 18