by H. A. Swain
“But where am I going to go?”
“Go to Mr. Clemens. Sleep there tonight. I’ll bring you some food soon and let you know when it’s safe to come back.”
“Won’t they come looking for me?” I ask, panicked now.
“Not tonight. It’s too dark, and tomorrow the harvest will distract everybody. Then Gaia will forget about it in a few days, so your squad will have to let it go.”
We both stand up. I look at her and ask, “Why are you doing this for me?”
She leans in close. “I know who you are, Thalia Apple. I know what you started in the Loops.”
“How?”
We hear voices in the clearing and my whole body begins to shake.
“Take this,” she says and shoves something into my hands.
I hold it up and see a sheathed kudzu-cutting knife. “What the…?”
“You might need it. Now, go,” she hisses.
I put the knife in my pocket and run.
* * *
If Mr. Clemens is surprised when he finds me banging on his door, he doesn’t show it. He gives me a funny half smile and says, “Ah, Thalia Apple. Nice of you to visit again. Little late ain’t it?”
“Sorry,” I pant and try to catch my breath from running through the woods. “I had some trouble at the Farm, and Ella told me to come here.”
“Smart cookie, my Ella,” he says with pride as he ushers me in. He lowers himself into a creaky rocking chair, where he takes the pouch, my pouch, and starts to pack his pipe. Then he motions to a beat-up old chair for me. He strikes a match, lights the pipe, then a thick candle. The whole room glows yellow. I see a small table with a few simple pieces of pottery, a narrow cot with jumbled blankets, and a mantel filled with photos, but it’s too dark to make out the faces in the frames.
“It speaks to your integrity that you caused a ruckus there.” He chuckles. “I’d like to see Gaia’s face when she can’t find you.”
“I wouldn’t,” I admit. “From the way Ella talked, she can be a real tyrant.”
Mr. Clemens takes his pipe out of his mouth and jabs the smoking end at me. “Tyrant is the right word. And liar and fraud. You’re too young to know spit about the past, but history is littered with people like her. Idi Amin. Pol Pot. Jim Jones. Charismatic cult leaders who worm their way into desperate people’s minds with lies disguised as promises. She claims she’s created a self-sufficient settlement where folks are free to live like humans ought, meanwhile she’s slipping Synthamil into the soup.”
“What? Are you serious? Synthamil in the soup?” I ask not sure who’s crazier, him or Gaia.
“Kudzu and corn and the other meager crops she’s been able to eke out of the soil aren’t enough to keep all those people healthy. It’ll be years before that’s possible around here. There would be malnutrition out the wazoo if she wasn’t supplementing everything.”
“But what makes you think it’s Synthamil?”
“’Cause I know where she keeps her stash.” He lets that sink in for a moment while he smokes. “That doctor fella of hers brings it, and they hide it in my old corn silo just north of here.”
“Oh, no,” I moan. “The dear doctor is in on it, too?”
“You bet your britches he is.”
I nearly cry as I see my chances of leaving the Farm dwindle with this revelation.
“I thought about smashing up all those bottles with my four-wheeler once,” Mr. Clemens says. “Then I figured I’d be hurting the little ones the most, so I didn’t do it.” He laughs. “Anyway, how do you think I’m still kicking at ninety-three?”
My mouth falls open. “You take the Synthamil for yourself.”
“Well,” he says with a wink. “I have a little helper.”
“Ella?” I ask.
“She’s a good egg, my Ella.”
“Your Ella?” I try to work this out. “Is she your daughter or your granddaughter?”
He shakes his head. My skin prickles as I picture Ella’s swollen belly. “But, wait, you’re not … she isn’t…?” I can’t even bring myself to say it.
“She came here so young,” he says wistfully. I hold my breath as he explains, bracing for the worst. “That damn-fool doctor hauled her out here after her mother died in one of his loony bins. But she’s whip smart. She saw through this place in no time. Kept trying to run away, but she couldn’t get too far. I found her at least half a dozen times asleep in a little nest she made out in the woods. I knew someone had to watch over her. Wish I could have kept her here with me, but it took a long time for her to trust me, and this house is no place for a child.” He shifts in his seat. I relax and let my breath go because his concern for her seems parental and not at all perverted. “I always intended to take her away from here, but by the time she would’ve said yes, she’d gone and fallen in love and had a baby, and now she’s got another one on the way.” He sighs deeply.
“But wait,” I say, trying to puzzle through everything he’s telling me. “If Gaia’s feeding everybody Synthamil, then how did Ella and all the other girls get pregnant?”
He looks at me like I’m kind of dim. “I’m no scientist, but I seem to remember from wartime that some of those synthetic drinks had hormones so people could have babies, right?”
I gasp and smack myself in the head. “She’s giving us Synthamil with Arousatrol!”
He shrugs. “Don’t know what it’s called, but it must be something like that.”
“Oh god,” I put my fingers in my hair and rub my head, which is beginning to ache.
“Darling,” he says and taps out his pipe, “you don’t even know the half of it yet.”
“I have to tell Basil,” I mutter. “Maybe if he knew, I could convince him to leave.”
“Bring him to me,” Mr. Clemens offers. “I’ll tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. He’ll be ready to run screaming from here in no time!”
“Even if you could convince him, he won’t go back to the Loops with me,” I say sadly.
“The Farm and the Loops ain’t the only two choices, Thalia Apple.”
I look at him. “What then?”
“I already told you.”
“You mean that place up north?”
“Yep.”
“Do you really think people are farming there?”
“Last I heard they were.”
“But One World destroyed the Svalbard seed vault. Or even if they didn’t, they’re not handing out packets to anyone.”
“Heck, girlie, that’s no problem. I have seeds.”
I nearly fall out of my chair. “You do?”
“Course I do,” he says with a chuckle. “Every good farmer keeps some back. Why? You thinking of heading up that way then?”
I snort and shake my head, flummoxed by this new information. “You going with me if I do?”
He laughs. “Girlie, I been packed and ready for years. Got a shed behind here with a wagon full of supplies,” he tells me with a twinkle in his eyes. “You get Ella and her brood to agree, and I’d be out of here lickety split.”
* * *
I don’t sleep much that night. I can’t stop thinking about what Mr. Clemens told me about Ella, about the Synthamil, about Canada. I’m certain that if Basil knew all of this, he’d no longer want to stay. He’d see that Gaia is just another corrupt person looking for power at the expense of the masses. Then again, I’m not sure I can abandon the revolution in the Loops. But maybe, if I could get Basil and Mr. Clemens and Ella and her family someplace safe, I could help from afar or make my way back to the Loops then join Basil again later. The one thing I know for sure is first I have to find a way to prove to Basil what Mr. Clemens said. Then we can work on leaving.
* * *
By the time the first rays of sun spill through the windows of the cabin, I’ve made my plan. As soon as Mr. Clemens stirs, I ask him how to get to his silo.
“You hungry?” he asks from his cot. “Ella will bring us something in a few hours
or you can go out and pick some berries and tender leaves. I’ll show you how to make a nice cup of tea to tide you over.”
“Thanks, but no,” I tell him. “I have to take care of something first.”
He doesn’t ask me any more questions. Just nods as if he understands and points me in the right direction.
The silo isn’t hard to find. It’s the largest structure for miles around, but being covered with kudzu like everything else camouflages it so that if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you would miss it. Inside is exactly what Mr. Clemens claimed. Cases and cases of Synthamil stacked four feet high. I open a box and pull out a bottle. The label reads, SYNTHAMIL (BASELINE FORMULA) + AROUSATROL. When I turn the bottle over, I find the warning printed in red: THIS FORMULA CONTAINS HORMONES THAT PROMOTE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH. I tuck the bottle into my pocket, along with the kudzu-cutting knife, hoping this will be enough proof for Basil that things are not what they appear on the Farm and that he’ll come with me when I go. Then I leave the silo and head across the fields toward the machine shop.
Like the first day when I followed Basil’s captors, I stay hidden in the kudzu outside the encampment, watching carefully for people. I wonder if they sent a search party for me again last night, but after several minutes when no one comes or goes, I figure Ella was right—that the harvest has distracted everyone from my disappearance. So I run on tiptoe to the back of the machine shop and climb up on the crates, which are still stacked under the windows, but the place is as quiet and empty as it was last night.
I’m about to sneak off into the kudzu to hide, thinking I’m here before Basil’s shift starts, but then I hear voices booming nearby, and I wonder if the harvest has started already. If so, everyone will be there. Including Basil. I move slowly and carefully through the wooded area in front of the machine shop, keeping my eyes peeled for any stragglers who might spot me, but as far as I can tell, every person who lives on the Farm has gathered around a makeshift stage in the clearing in front of the hospital and harvest house.
I creep around the edge of the crowd, searching for a place to slip in and hoping that for once, this stupid dress will help me look exactly like every other girl here. Luckily, the audience is too engrossed in applauding for Gaia as she climbs onto the stage to notice me. When she opens her arms wide and says, “Good morning to you all, it’s a beautiful morning for a harvest!” everyone claps and hollers, stomps their feet, and whistles.
“Before we get started,” Gaia says once they’ve settled down, “I’d like to take a moment to welcome our newest member.” She turns to the steps and motions. “Come on up, my dear. Don’t be frightened. We are so very, very happy to have you here.”
A short, round girl with frizzy brown hair cautiously steps onto the stage. I squint at her because she looks vaguely familiar, but I can’t place her until Gaia says, “Haza, meet your new family!”
I draw in a quick and unexpected breath as I try to puzzle through how Haza has gotten from Dr. Demeter’s rehab center to this place. If there was anyone who seemed to buy into his method, it was this girl. I wonder if she escaped the same night as Zara and me and has been making her way here ever since. I have to admit, that I’m kind of impressed. I didn’t think she had it in her, but I wish that I could have warned her to stay away.
As Gaia’s busy spouting her nonsense about how Haza will be able to live freely now that she’s on the Farm, I slip through the crowd, looking for Basil. I try to stay far away from anyone on my squad, but so far I haven’t recognized a single person that I know. The next time I glance up at the stage, Gaia is walking slowly in a circle muttering to the sky. After a few seconds of her strange one-woman parade, she stands in the center and lifts her arms overhead.
“Oh mighty Mother Nature,” she calls out. “Giver of all life, bestower of all gifts, have you planted seeds in our garden?” She waits, as if expecting an answer to come down from the sky, and she must get it because suddenly she smiles and cries out, “Yes! You have.” She spins, arms up, happily twirling like a blue-and-white whirlwind under the morning sun. “Reveal to us, through me, your humble human conduit, the carrier of these seeds that we will harvest today!”
Gaia stops spinning and opens her eyes. “Tia Lee,” she says. “Tia Lee will bestow her gift today.”
A gasp and cry of happiness erupts from the crowd. People shuffle around, a wall of bodies split, and a young girl, probably fifteen or sixteen runs up the stairs of the stage. She is overwhelmed. Half laughing and half crying. Gaia opens her arms to the girl who falls into her embrace. “Blessed be are you, Tia!” Gaia shouts. “Mother Nature has made you strong. Today you will bestow upon us a gift to ensure our future!” Tia nods, reverent of Gaia’s words.
Gaia begins her spinning routine again. This time when she opens her eyes she calls, “Ester Jacobi!”
Another cry. More shuffling and an older girl, probably well into her twenties runs onto the stage. “Blessed be! Blessed be am I!” she shouts and flings herself toward Gaia, who catches her and laughs.
“Yes, yes, my dear Ester. Blessed be are you. What number will this be? How many gifts have you bestowed since you came to live on the Farm?”
“This will be my fourth!” Ester shouts, excitedly.
“A worthy woman if ever there was one,” Gaia tells her then blesses her the same way she did Tia and gives her a gentle push toward two domestics who lead her to a bench where the first girl sits. Gaia continues to spin, shouting names, blessing girls who run up onstage. I recognize each of the twelve girls from the daily belly jabbing. They sit hand in hand, nervously smiling like giddy winners from One World Super Celebrity competitions.
“Next, we shall welcome our donors,” says Gaia. “These brave and worthy brothers of ours have been chosen for their superior intellects, able bodies, and compassionate souls. Today we will harvest their most sacred seed so that our garden shall be strong.”
I’ve woven my way nearly to the front of the crowd, but still haven’t caught site of Basil. Then I turn and see a dozen men marching up the steps to the stage, led by Carrick and flanked by Basil. “Oh no,” I gasp as my stomach sours.
“Let the seeds prosper,” Gaia says, beaming proudly at her flock.
“So we shall prosper, too,” the group answers.
Then together, everyone says, “Blessed be are we.”
I’m dizzy and near tears as I watch Basil standing placidly onstage. How will I ever get to him now? Then Gaia says, “Our most esteemed and dear doctor would like to greet you before we have the harvest.” She sweeps her arm to the side to present a man who walks up the steps waving to his crowd of ardent admirers, clapping, whistling, hooting, and hollering.
His shirt is crisp, his wing tips flash, not a single steel-colored hair is out of place on his head. I stumble back, bumping into people who stand on tiptoe to get a look at Dr. Darius Demeter.
* * *
I stand, mouth open, staring at Dr. Demeter beside Gaia. My brain cannot compute how this could happen. It seems more likely that she would be squished by a falling meteor than he would show up here. Isn’t this the guy who spends his life trying to stop people from eating? Quickly, I look to Basil, expecting him to be as slack-jawed and flabbergasted as I am, but he’s barely flinched. Just a shadow of concern quickly passes over his face, then he stands up straight and tall, looking on as if everything is completely normal.
“I come with news of what’s happening in the Loops,” Dr. Demeter says once the crowd has settled down. “As Gaia has always predicted, an uprising has begun.”
The crowd roars their approval of this news. The people around me slap one another on the backs and throw their arms around each other’s shoulders. Again, I’m caught off guard. If they have no ties to other resistance groups, why are they so happy?
“There is much unrest,” Dr. Demeter reports. “Riots and protests. Workers are striking. The privies are scared that One World will crumble. The entire economy is on the brink.
”
I’m not sure how much of this to believe coming from Dr. Demeter and filtered through the crazy scope of the Farm, but given what Ella whispered to me last night, I assume some of it is true.
Gaia steps forward, smiling smugly. “I told you, my dear ones, I told you this would happen. Once word reached the Loops about our society here, the masses would rise up and revolt, demanding that they too have an existence as pure as ours!”
“Liar!” I scream, but the ovation that erupts from the crowd is so loud that it covers my shouts. “She’s a liar!” I can’t believe she’s taking credit for what’s happened in the Loops. Nobody has ever even heard of this lunatic, but she’s convinced these idiots that she’s causing the unrest! Unbelievable. I look to Basil, certain that by now he’ll be flustered, but he’s not. He stands stiff, staring straight ahead. The only thing that moves is a muscle twitching in his jaw, and for the first time I realize how tightly he must be wrapped around Gaia’s crooked finger. If Gaia taking credit for what’s happening in the Loops doesn’t faze him, then it’s possible that nothing will. And that scares me more than everything I’ve seen or heard yet.
Gaia lifts her arms to quiet the crowd. They are reluctant to settle down, and even when they are quiet, the excitement is still palpable in their fidgeting. “Mother Nature has chosen us, my dear ones, to carry on. We shall wait here in our Eden while the others perish, then we shall prosper because we and we alone have the answer to humankind’s dilemma. Mother Nature will protect us in her infinite wisdom as we are the only ones who will be truly ready for the new world that is to come.”
After Gaia’s delusional proclamation of world domination, she dismisses the workers to the fields while Dr. Demeter leads Basil and the others from the stage to the front door of the hospital. As the crowd disperses, I steal around to the back of the building and slowly open the rear door then slip inside. Sticking close to the wall, I watch girls in scrubs carry trays past the line of men all with their backs to me. Quietly, I hop across the hallway and disappear inside the dressing room.