by Heather Boyd
In the aftermath, Virginia hung pinned against the wall, as Bernard heaved in gasping breaths. She was so stunned she couldn’t think. She wrapped her arms tight around Bernard’s broad shoulders for support.
Chapter Twenty-One
TO CONSTANCE, VIRGINIA looked like a cat that had fallen in a vat of fresh cream. Virginia reclined in an armchair, both legs draped over an arm, as she ate a peach—mellow and introspective. Clearly, a great many things were on her mind. Constance did not require incessant conversation, but she hoped they might speak at some point today.
One way or another, Constance would leave London very soon. But before she left for debtors’ prison, she still had a chance to convince Mr. Abernathy to marry her. He was the last gentleman on her list—her only chance to avoid ruin.
Her behavior last night had been a mistake of mammoth proportions.
Jack might be the only gentleman who truly knew her, but he wasn’t available. Their relationship could not progress beyond friendship or carnal pleasures. Yes, he had taught her to kiss, but he had also made a promise to marry another. She could not keep kissing Jack just because he was close at hand, even if he was exceptionally good at it. She had never heard of friends kissing forever.
Kissing either led to matrimony or scandal and a broken heart.
If she wanted to explore the startling feelings that had stirred within her, she would have to find someone else—a husband. Yet the thought of kissing anyone else was repulsive. She was quite certain she could kiss Jack whenever she wanted to and enjoy it thoroughly. She just could not allow herself to do it again.
She was ashamed by what she had asked of Jack, but, in truth, he should have said no. He should not be available for kissing.
Constance glanced at Virginia’s neck again. Virginia might have done a good job with her cosmetics, but there had been a red mark on her pale skin last night. Hallam had given her a love-bite. Constance wanted to giggle. Who would have thought the stuffy man had it in him to be so outrageous?
Another sigh rattled up from her heart. She was so confused. After their kisses, the front of Jack’s breeches appeared tighter than usual. Constance did not know the exact words to use, but she was shockingly impressed with herself. She had done that to him. She had made him desire her with her outrageous behavior.
He is betrothed, you fool.
It really was badly done of him to be so free with his kisses. If they were betrothed, she would not be happy with his behavior at all. Oh, but the things Jack could do with his mouth made her shift in her chair. How would she ever face the woman he married?
Oh, yes, I agree. Jack is a wonderful kisser. Constance rolled her eyes. That would probably be the first words from her lips, too. She shuddered. What was she thinking to ask Jack to kiss her?
Last night, in the library, and at the opera. Those kisses were all her fault. She had initiated each one.
When she married, or when Jack married, she could never see him again. She couldn’t risk it. Jack’s future wife would be right to ban her from the property if she learned Constance had been kissing him so often.
Disappointed and feeling very low, Constance slumped in her chair. The Jack she liked was the private man who knew all the naughty things she used to do and laughed about them.
At the masque, she’d asked Jack to kiss her, and he had exceeded her expectations. Constance raised her hands to her hot face as the memory of his large hands cupped over her breasts filled her mind. Her nipples tightened.
Last night Jack could have become her lover, but luckily, he had kept a sane head about him and ended things before it was too late. Her request had simply carried him away on a tide of desire. It was perfectly understandable. Her good sense evaporated once Jack’s fingers touched her skin.
Constance stilled. Given the liberties she had allowed last night, Jack would know how badly attracted to him she was. How doubly embarrassing. Jack may even suspect that she thought of him a bit more than was proper. Dear God, he might think she even loved him. He would be right.
Constance closed her eyes as her heart began to pound painfully.
She couldn’t fall in love with a betrothed man. But she feared she had.
“Is everything all right, Pixie?” Virginia’s voice startled Constance out of her thoughts.
“Of course, everything is wonderful. Why do you ask?” Constance managed to stutter out, desperately wishing she had a fan to cool her face. She was in love.
“Your expressions have just run through a dizzying array of emotions. What are you thinking about?”
Constance fought for control over her flushed face. “Nothing. It is nothing. How was your peach?”
She was in love with Jack.
“Delicious.” Virginia frowned at her obvious change of subject. “I forgot to ask, did you have a nice time last night?”
Constance shuddered. She could never tell anyone how she had truly spent her evening. Not even Virginia. “Yes, I had a wonderful time. Although, judging by the reports in the newspaper, I will have to deny attending that ball to anyone else.”
“It was a bit wicked, wasn’t it? I am so glad Jack decided to let us go. He promised to look after you.”
Trying to forget Jack for a moment, Constance quirked an eyebrow, “And did you enjoy your evening?”
“As a matter of fact I did,” Virginia confirmed. They both knew that Hallam had looked after her very well. Virginia grinned shamelessly and looked down.
But her expression filled Constance with curiosity. “Virginia?”
“Yes, Pixie.”
“Can you tell me what it is like?”
“What what is like, dearest?”
Constance traced the pattern on the upholstery nervously. She hoped Virginia would not be scandalized. “Making love.”
When silence followed her words, Constance feared Virginia was too shocked with her. Constance yearned to know how it felt to be intimate with someone you loved. She could never share that with Jack.
“It was wonderful,” Virginia replied, her voice a breathy rush of sound.
Constance lifted her gaze.
Virginia’s skin had pinked, and she brushed her fingers along her jaw. “It was not at all what I had feared it would be like. The last time hurt a great deal. However, with Hallam, the experience was nothing short of bliss. I think I am not explaining myself very well. It is hard to put into words.”
“There is a book I have seen, in the library. Not really a novel, but pictures … pictures of people making love. Was it like that?”
“I have not really read a great many books in this house.” Virginia smiled. “I do not believe you can learn everything from books. The sensations are so very different, so very hard to express. All your thoughts, your whole self turns toward the man. At least, that was how I felt. For you, it may feel different.”
“Why different for me?”
“You won’t have the same fears that I had. Last night was a great relief for me. I—I worried that I was damaged. That I would not be able to enjoy what everyone else feels. But it was nothing short of wondrous.” She paused and smiled again. “When you go to the marriage bed, there will be nothing but joy for you. I promise.”
“Do you think you will marry again?”
Constance may not be able to marry the man she loved, but Virginia could. She was almost certain that Virginia loved Hallam, and he certainly displayed possessive tendencies about Virginia. But Constance was uncertain whether Virginia had considered remarriage.
“I never thought to marry again,” Virginia answered, yet a blush flooded her pale skin with brighter color. Virginia was lying. She had thought of it.
“Virginia, if I wanted to attract a gentleman, what should I do?” She had little time to convince Mr. Abernathy of the merits of proposing. Constance would need every scrap of help she could dredge up.
“I am sorry but, as your chaperone, I don’t believe I should help you with that. I would be failing in my dutie
s quite awfully,” Virginia chuckled. “Perhaps you should let him romance you.”
Actually, Virginia had failed spectacularly last night to protect Jack from her curiosity, but if she mentioned last night, Virginia might press for a fuller disclosure than she was prepared to give.
“But Mr. Abernathy is a perfectly acceptable gentleman,” Constance pressed. “What could I do to win him over?”
“Abernathy?” Virginia exclaimed. “Are you still pursuing the list?”
Constance frowned. “Of course. He is my only option left.”
Maybe Virginia wasn’t completely lucid today. She had to know how anxious Constance was becoming. The threat of debtors’ prison filled her dreams with terror.
“You should talk to Jack before you do anything rash, Pixie,” Virginia pleaded and Constance wondered why she was so sure Jack could help. Jack was the reason she needed to speed up the process.
“I’m not an infant. I asked you, not Jack. I thought you wanted to help me?”
Virginia dropped into the chair beside her and gripped her hands. “I do. You’re my best friend. As close to me as any sister might be,” she pressed. “But I just think there are matters you should discuss with my brother before you try any desperate tricks to win over Abernathy. Promise me you will talk to him soon.”
Constance nodded reluctantly, but said no more. She did not like to lie to Virginia, but the truth was just too horrible. She had to stop depending on Jack. Although Virginia appeared crestfallen and stood to walk about the room, Constance hardened her heart. She’d have to win Abernathy’s affections without assistance.
She could not speak to Jack about this. It was just too embarrassing. He was betrothed. Constance had never liked to share her toys, so truly, he wasn’t hers to play with anyway.
~ * ~
Jack stood just outside his sister’s sitting room, heart tumbling in distress. He probably should not be listening in at doors, but he liked to hear Pixie speak. But damn that bloody list. Why hadn’t she given it up yet?
After last night she shouldn’t have any doubts about where her future lay. She belonged with him. They had both experienced the rush of astonishing desire building between them.
Anxious, he retreated down the hallway to a concealed space beside her door, waiting to say good morning. He was determined to start his day with Pixie’s kisses. Then, he was going to talk her into forgetting Abernathy and take her out in his carriage. It was time to make his intentions public. But kisses were necessary first. Heady kisses where he forgot everything but the woman in his arms. He really did need her.
Jack did not have long to wait. Pixie’s light footfalls headed rapidly toward him, and he snagged her as she flew past. He dropped his lips to hers and kissed her for all he was worth. She kissed him back as he tightened his arms around her.
When her hands were clawing through his hair, he let go of her lips to speak. “I missed you.” Jack pressed a trail of kisses up her neck, stopping when he reached her ear.
Pixie squirmed without any real strength behind her protest, his hair firmly held by her tiny hands. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not? Didn’t you miss me, too?”
Jack gave her no time to respond because he was kissing her again. He could not stop.
Pixie struggled to speak around his mouth and he had to pause. “Well, there is someone else to consider.”
Their warm breaths twined between them, binding them closer together. “What the devil are you talking about?”
She pushed against his chest. “I shouldn’t be kissing you.”
“But you do it so very, very well.” Jack kissed her again, wrapping Pixie tight against him, touching the delicate softness of her skin. Tangling their tongues until he had her undulating against him, her hands clutched the sides of his head. He opened his eyes. Her dazed expression made him smile.
“I did notice that. But it has to stop.” She contradicted herself by kissing him. God, this little bundle of mischief amazed him.
“Don’t stop,” Jack told her and groaned as her lips found his ear. Oh, lord, but that was her teeth on him. Jack’s arousal soared and he started taking steps toward his bedchamber.
“I’m sorry. One of us has to do the right thing and it’s going to be me.” Pixie’s words were saying one thing, yet Jack could vouch for the ferocity of her attraction to him. He was ridiculously pleased.
“You don’t mean what you are saying. You want to keep kissing me.” Jack nipped at her neck again and headed south toward her gown’s neckline. Just a little lower and he would touch the beginning of her breast with his lips. As his back hit his door, he reached for the handle, but Pixie skipped out of his grip and out of reach.
Her eyes were wide and filled with anguish. “I couldn’t live with myself. Surely you can understand.”
“No, I do not understand, Pixie. I want you.” Jack spoke as firmly as he could, without shouting it for all to hear. She backed up another step, shaking her head.
“It’s just because I’m close at hand.”
Male voices from the floor below froze them where they stood. They both glanced down the staircase. Just out of sight, Parkes was receiving a caller. From the sound of it, Mr. Abernathy was here and asking to see Pixie. Jack looked at her in annoyance. She could not choose Abernathy over him.
The butler’s heavy tread advanced up the staircase. Pixie backed toward her bedchamber door and escaped, leaving Jack alone to face his servant.
“Excuse me, my lord. Do you perhaps know where Miss Grange might be found?”
“Her bedchamber,” Jack growled.
“Of course. Thank you, sir.” Parkes started to turn away, but looked back. “Shall I have your valet return to your chambers to assist you?”
Jack glanced down. His clothes were a fright. “No, that is perfectly all right. I can manage on my own. What does Abernathy want?”
“He is here to take Miss Grange out in his carriage, I believe.”
“Wonderful, just wonderful,” Jack muttered as he stalked back into his room.
~ * ~
Mr. Abernathy’s driving skills were a vast improvement after Lord Bridges dangerous display. He was pleasant company, handsome to look at and, above all else, comfortable.
Constance was utterly bored by the time they reached the entrance to Hyde Park.
Joining the ranks of society in search of diversion, he circled the park, paused to speak to acquaintances, introduced her when required, and spoke about himself and his family with an open, friendly manner.
Overall, Mr. Benedict Abernathy was perfect for what she needed—a wealthy man able to afford her current debts—but she felt not one spark of attraction flow between them.
“Were you, by any chance, at the Malvey masquerade last evening?” Abernathy asked as they took a tight turn.
“No,” Constance confessed, lying through her teeth. They had all agreed to deny attending. “I retired early.”
For a moment he appeared disappointed. “Lady Orkney made a wise decision.”
“I’ve always enjoyed a good story. What did you see?”
Abernathy scrunched up his face as if he had unpleasant memories. “There was far too much corruption for me to repeat, especially to a lady. I was extremely shocked by some behavior I witnessed.”
Abernathy would be shocked if he learned that Virginia might have been one of the more daring guests in attendance. Constance was tempted to tell him, just to see how he reacted. “Did you stay long?”
“No, I circled the dance floor, bumped into an old acquaintance I recognized, and left early.”
“Ah,” Constance replied. He would have missed the fireworks and singers later in the evening. After kissing Jack, those had been the highlight of her evening. Jack had held her in his arms, whispering into her ear for the remainder of the evening. Thanks to him sharing his confidences, she understood a great deal more about the people around them. And after listening to what he had to say, most of
the ton should be ashamed.
Constance summoned her best smile. “Are you in London for long, sir?”
He chuckled. “No. My sister is to be married shortly and we are here only to spend an obscene amount on her trousseau while we wait for the happy day to arrive. Our house is at sixes and sevens over the arrangements.”
“I believe that is the case with most wedding days.” Constance was impressed she had him talking about marriage so soon into their outing. “Can you imagine the pleasure of your own?”
Abernathy looked grim a moment, then his lips quirked into a sad smile. He didn’t speak immediately. Had she blundered? Perhaps she shouldn’t show too much interest in weddings.
He drew in a large breath. “I think, perhaps, I won’t marry.”
Constance’s mouth grew dry. “Oh, why ever not?”
Abernathy’s expression grew pained. “The usual tale, I imagine. I lost my heart to an angel, but she fluttered her wings and flew away.”
With a toss of his head he threw the emotion aside and concentrated on the horse.
“I’m sorry.”
Mr. Abernathy nodded. “So was I.”
Constance looked away, blinking rapidly to hold back her tears. The poor man sounded heartbroken. If she had known of his past, she might never have pursued him.
Constance slumped a little. She didn’t know if she had the fortitude to pursue a man with a broken heart. His words hinted that he wasn’t over the woman, his angel, and it might take more skill than she possessed to turn his thoughts in her direction.
By the weary set of his shoulders, he dwelled in the memory of his lost love. If she looked in the mirror one day, would Constance see that self-same pose confronting her?
“You appear tired today, Miss Grange. Are you entirely recovered from your illness? I would not like to have Ettington take me to task for keeping you out too long. I understand you are very dear to him.”