by CC Dragon
“You focus on others. Selfless people often don’t take care of themselves first. Your obsession with helping others has become a mission. You need to restore your balance. You are not all powerful. You must rest, eat, and have a life of your own.” Joe collected the toast on a plate.
“How do I do that?” I asked.
“Practice. Trust. You power is strong. Shadowmen are not limited by half or whole genetic nonsense.”
“What?” I asked.
“You are half Fae and don’t show many of those powers. You have magic and you can pull from their ley lines, but you don’t glow, you aren’t overly drawn to gardens, and I don’t think anyone has seen you use wings to fly.”
I frowned. “Not all Fae do that faery thing.”
“No, but you wanted to be accepted by a group. Any group. The Fae didn’t feel like home.” Joe went about setting the table.
“But I had magic before the Shadow magic. That’s Fae driven,” I replied.
Joe nodded. “Now they are afraid of you. You had a portion of Fae magic, not the full level. But Shadow Magic is all or nothing. You have as much as a full-blooded Shadowman. Those are very rare these days anyway. But you can learn to manage it.”
“It’s like I’m boiling over inside. I have to let some of it out, or it’ll hurt me, or I’ll let it go too long, and I’ll hurt someone else unintentionally.”
“Your heart is in the right place, but we need to give you techniques to get control of things before the boiling point.” Joe filled a mug with coffee.
“I tried with Mason. It’ll take more practice.” I nodded.
“We can practice too. I have some techniques to help you channel and focus.” Joe nodded. “Do you know if the Shadowmen you knocked out ever recovered?”
I shrugged. “No clue.”
“Okay, let’s have you wake up Mason from here. Magically.” Joe nodded.
I closed my eyes and envisioned him in bed. I could turn his alarm on by the beside or on his phone.
Instead, I tugged the blue flannel blanket off of him.
I used the blanket to taunt him into the kitchen.
“You’re showing off,” Mason said. “Joe, thanks for coming.”
The men hugged.
“We have made breakfast, and then we can begin with the practice.” Joe poured coffee for the rest of us.
As we ate, I avoided the bacon. The smell didn’t sit right with me for some reason. I ate well and tried to figure out why the Shadowmen hadn’t bothered me since. Even if the knocked out ones were seriously injured or permanently disabled, there had to be others. I hadn’t intended to do serious damage, but clearly, intent and control weren’t properly matched in this magic.
“Is it true about the Shadow realm?” I asked Joe.
“You don’t believe me?” Mason asked.
I shrugged. “I want to hear more.”
“If you lose your balance or your control too far, you will slip into the Shadow realm. If you persist in wallowing in the power, you won’t be able to get out. It’s like a safety for the Shadowmen. If one tries to take too much power or digs too deeply into uncontrolled shadow magic, they’ll be locked where they can’t hurt anyone else,” Joe explained.
“I don’t want that,” I admitted.
“Then let’s practice. The main goal is controlling your reaction to things. Your powers can be big or small, but when you get frustrated, it can compound. Overreactions are what you must avoid. Shadow magic is great power, but if you don’t manage it, it will lock you up inside of itself.”
“Practice self-control? What about real world panic?” I asked.
“Again, controlling the panic. You choose how you react. What’s new is the level of power you can unleash. You have to get used to it and be able to deal with feelings without going full tilt with your magic. Before, when it was just the Fae side, that was what you needed to protect yourself. To protect your FBI partner or Mason. But now you have a nuclear arsenal, and you need to be careful before you hit that level.”
“How do I practice without risking a real slip?” I shrugged.
“We’ll visualize the trouble. It’ll feel very real, if you trust me.”
Half an hour later, I sat cross legged on the floor with Joe. Mason was cleaning up the kitchen, but I felt him. He calmed me.
“Can you reach any Shadowmen?” Joe talked me through it.
I felt for them. I could find them, but none reached back.
“No,” I replied.
“Don’t let that upset you. They fear what you did to those you met. You are powerful and not afraid to wield it. Envision your fight with the Yeti,” Joe coaxed me.
I moved on from the Shadowmen and focused on the Yeti bar where I’d had my first encounter with them.
I didn’t have full Shadowmen powers at the time—or maybe I did and didn’t know it. I’d hurt Mason sending him to the car. Four Yeti came at me. They were growling and swiping at me with their long claws.
I deflected their attack easily and knocked their heads against the bar. It neutralized them without extreme magic.
“Good,” Joe said.
“Now another.” He projected the vision into my mind.
A child was being taken from their home. I saw no signs of help. The dark figure was all smoke and nothing to go on…no clue as to motivation or who was really behind it.
I blasted the smoke, and it dissipated, but the child was suspended in the air. I couldn’t free the kid.
I tried again and more smoke beings appeared. They weren’t Shadowmen. I attacked them, and they left, but it was frustrating. I couldn’t save the child.
“Do you feel yourself grinding your teeth?” Joe asked.
I nodded.
“That’s a trick. When you feel it, relax yourself? You need to get the right state of control. Don’t let the frustration upset your control, your wellbeing. You need to be in a state of calm and self-awareness.” Joe seemed to have that all the time.
I looked at the scene, still with the kid suspended in the air, frozen sort of. Two more smoke men arrived, and I knocked them apart immediately. Instead of the trying to take control of the child from whoever put the spell on her, I tried another approach.
Instead of taking control of the child, I tried to unweave the spell put on them.
The kid went limp, and I gently set them on the ground. The child got up and ran home.
I sighed.
When I opened my eyes, Joes smiled at me.
“Good start.” Joe got up and left.
Mason shook his head. “Bye, Joe.”
“That’s it? I feel like we barely started,” I protested.
“Calm,” Mason replied.
I nodded. “You’ll help me practice?”
“Of course. You’ve done enough work for now.” Mason hugged me.
“It was imaginary,” I grumbled.
Mason tightened his grip. “Practice is necessary.”
Chapter Twelve
“Dot, wake up,” Mason said.
“No,” I protested.
I didn’t feel any danger.
“Dot, we got a call from one of the protective houses. We need to go.” He stole the covers.
Up and grumpy, I sipped coffee as Mason drove. When we arrived, Morrow was there.
“They fought off the intruder. Someone tried to take the kid,” Morrow explained.
“Can we go in and talk to them?” I asked.
Morrow blocked us. “The kid is reacting badly. The parents are trying to get her to calm down.”
“We can reassure her that she’s safe,” Mason added.
Morrow shook her head. “They’re not. Whoever did this nearly got them. If it wasn’t for the magical warnings and protections your shaman put down, the child would be gone. Maybe the parents too.”
“The parents?” I asked.
“They seem to be hypnotized or in some sort of state, but I can’t really explain it. They’re trying to comfort the kid
, but the kid isn’t letting anyone get close to her.” Morrow opened the door.
The parents sat on the couch, like vegetables. They blinked occasionally.
“What happened?” I asked.
The little girl hissed at me and Mason. Those blue eyes were back.
“See?” I asked.
Mason nodded and got on his phone.
I tried to lift the haze off the adults, but they showed no sign of reacting.
The girl craned her neck like she was trying to detach her head. She got up but crawled on the floor at me like a spider.
For a split second, I felt like I needed to draw my gun, but I stayed calm and self-aware. The kid wasn’t a real threat even if she was acting full-on possessed.
Joe appeared in the living room with Gileal. I stepped away. Mason came in from outside.
“That was fast,” Mason said.
“You called them?” I asked.
“I called Joe. He put up a lot of the protection. I didn’t expect him to bring Fae,” Mason said.
Joe shrugged. “You’re blaming them when it’s not Fae.”
“Not Fae? She’s the one who confirmed it was a changeling situation before. Faes are the ones who pull this crap of switching kids,” I argued.
“Dot, let’s just talk this out. The warnings went off, protections worked. Let’s see if we can find out who attacked and not just assume,” Mason replied.
“Fine.” I shrugged and sat in an arm chair. I didn’t mean it. This was Fae manipulating Jo and Mason. They’d played games with me all of my life. I couldn’t just believe them after so much rejection. Even now, they didn’t want me involved.
Joe walked around, checking his protections and feeling for residue.
The little girl lunged and screeched at Joe and Gileal. I watched and tried to keep calm.
“Outside, please,” Joe said.
I followed them onto the porch. The light snow and chilled air made a beautiful backdrop to our insanity.
Joe shook his head. “The protections I put up were against demonic activity, not Fae. That’s why the alarms went off.”
I laughed. “Demons? You mean evil warlocks?”
“No, demons as in pit of Hell, demons. Fallen angels,” Joe replied.
“That’s nuts. I grew up with Fae, witches, magic, and all of that, but you’re telling me that God, angels, and all of that are real?” I asked.
“Gods plural, but yes,” Joe said.
“That’s insane.” I shook my head.
“Your powers come from somewhere. The order in the universe,” Mason said.
“Order? I spent my life wishing I was human because no one in this world wanted me. The Fae rejected me. Now, they’re trying to act like they had nothing to do with these kids and their poor parents,” I shouted.
“Getting mad at the gods won’t help,” Gileal corrected me.
“Want me to get madder at you?” I moved into her space.
“Dot,” Mason warned.
“What? I’m in control. Gileal needs to understand that part. I’m not raging. I’m not slipping into the bad side of my magic. But if she pushes the wrong button or has been lying and using me, I will blow her up,” I promised.
Mason put his hand around my waist. “She’s trying to help.”
“Or she’s covering for others. She’s misleading us,” I said.
There was banging on the front door. The girl was throwing herself against it and grunting like an animal.
“Any ideas what do to for this specific sort of demon spawn that has taken over an innocent child?” I asked.
Joe shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t have any specific plan or approach.”
“I don’t know what type of demon, but I will do some tests on the child to see what possibly can be done,” Gileal said.
“No way you’re testing on a kid. No experimenting on children. She hasn’t hurt anyone. She’s acting weird, but it’s not her fault apparently. No hurting kids,” I ordered.
Gileal folded her arms and glared at me.
I looked at Mason, and he didn’t seem eager to let her test the kid either.
The banging on the door suddenly stopped, and the girl began shrieking, but away from the door. Mason opened the door, and we rushed in to check on her.
The parents had gone from dazed and sitting on the couch to slumped over.
“What happened to them?” I shot a look at Gil.
Mason and Joe tried to examine the parents.
The girl crawled in between and scratched at Joe. He started chanting. The girl threw herself against the door. As soon as she did that, I saw the symbol. That same symbol I’d seen on my windowsill a child.
With the girl busy, Joe and Mason tried to help the parents, but they suddenly started fighting back, even with their eyes closed.
“Any suggestions?” Mason asked.
“Fine, test the child. I still think this might be a set up to throw us off the real trail,” I said.
Mason nodded. “I get that. But it’s the middle of the night. Us sitting here babysitting the testing won’t do any good. We can let them work, while we sleep. Then we take over in the morning watching over the family after getting an update. Take shifts.”
“I don’t trust them,” I said.
“That’s mutual,” Gil shot back.
I shot her a look. “If you didn’t do this, if the Fae had no hand in any of this—why are you here? You abandon half-breeds, you don’t want hybrids around…so why help others?” I asked.
Mason turned to Gileal. “Not the worst question.”
Joe cleared his throat. “This is a problem for paras. The missing people and the crazy ones left behind. We must pull together to find the root.”
“We need an FBI for the paranormal,” I said.
Mason nodded. “That was you in the FBI, but you didn’t have access to everyone.”
“But you did. No one will listen, so what does it matter?” I asked.
“Everyone wants to be the alpha pack and the most powerful, but there is no order. There is no hierarchy or chain of command.” I shrugged.
“Very true,” Gil replied.
“This is why most paras keep to their own kind. The Fae have rules amongst our own kind, and we follow them. Would you like for us to enforce them on others?” she asked.
“You couldn’t enforce anything on me. You’d have to welcome others and help them, not just impose your rules on them. Acknowledge hybrids and not throw them out,” I shot back.
Mason got in the middle. “Neutral corners. Dot, we’re going.”
I followed him. “I have a headache.”
“Me too. Let’s get some sleep, and we’ll formulate our own plan,” he whispered to me as we left.
Chapter Thirteen
I headed to Margo’s instead of Mason’s house.
“What’s wrong?” Mason followed me.
“Shh, Margo is hopefully asleep,” I said.
“You shouldn’t be alone. You’re too upset. Something or someone is out there trying to hurt the few people we have left,” Mason said.
“Are you afraid to be alone?” I asked.
“I doubt they’re after me,” he replied.
“I can handle myself. I need to rest and think. Alone.” I shrugged.
Mason hugged me, and I wanted him to stay, but it was a slippery slope. Finally, I pulled away.
“I can’t depend on you to always talk me down from the ledge in a conflict. I need to think through the options and work through the stress alone. There’s nothing wrong between us, I’m not trying to get away from you or break up. But I need process this without an external debate as well. I feel bad for even agreeing to let them experiment on kids. I need to wade through what everyone else says and see what my gut tells me.” I shook my head.
“Just to be clear, what they’re doing is not like torture testing. It’s more like testing to see what sort of demon it is and prove it’s a demon. We need to determine the next
steps,” he said.
“We? Who is we? The Fae don’t seem interested in cooperating,” I shot back.
“I know, but you don’t have authority over them either. If they are changelings, then it’s their problem to sort out, not Natives. Not Shadowmen.” Mason shrugged.
“Where does that leave me? In the weird para tradition, where do hybrid of Shadowmen and Fae fall?” I asked.
Mason paced the entryway. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do. Why do people think keeping information secret helps anyone?” I tried to keep from yelling.
“The Fae aren’t big on hybrids. We know that. The Shadowmen are secretive, so we don’t know any policy. But based on how the group you knocked out treated you, you’re one of them. You’re as strong as any of them. That’s your group. I don’t know why they haven’t come for you to talk more. But you’ve got the powers and the Shadowmen link, so own and contain it,” he said.
“Maybe they’re mad that I hurt those guys?” I shrugged.
“Do you want to be alone and stronger than everyone else?” he asked.
I glared at him. “All I wanted all of my life was to be accepted somewhere by some group. To belong. But you warned me how dangerous they are. How strong. How I could slip into the Shadow realm and never get back. Like the Shadow magic is dangerous. That blood is in me. Does it make me evil?”
“You are not evil,” he insisted.
“Fine, I don’t want to be alone, but I think I prefer this village to Fae or Shadow or whatever. Not because I’m stronger, but because you and Margo and everyone will tell me the truth. People I trust can help me check my powers. I should change my focus and just worry about the village,” I said.
“You’d be bored in a week. You won’t give up on this case that’s taken you down a crazy number of paths. Maybe there isn’t an easy answer, but you won’t stop until you find it.”
I pointed. “And I’m sick of it. I feel like someone is messing with me. Am I just paranoid, or are the Shadowmen watching me?”
Mason sighed. “You need to decompress and rest. Please get some sleep. I’ll be at my place.”
“Thanks.” I walked him out and locked the door behind him.