“Why Mr. Fisher’s room?” Jacinta asks as we make our way across campus towards the room in question.
“Probably because it’s the furthest room away from the staff dorms,” I say like it’s the most obvious answer, then adding as an afterthought. “Oh, and because Trey swiped the spare key and knows where he hides a bottle of tequila.”
“What? Are you kidding?” she asks, pride lacing her voice at hearing about her badass wannabe boyfriend’s mischievous doings.
“Yeah, well the way he giggled like a little school girl while telling me about it, kind of takes away from how cool it was. Though, I must admit, I never thought those boys would actually have the balls to use it.”
“Which room is it?” Jacinta asks, staring down a long corridor of door after door.
“No clue,” I whisper yell as we tip toe down the hallway. “I’m assuming this one,” I say stopping at a door that has the distinct buzz of music coming from the other side and push our way in.
The room is buzzing with students. I’d say the whole senior grade has shown up to party.
“Hey, you guys made it,” Trey says from behind us, carrying a box filled with chips and plastic cups.
“Yeah, you know we wouldn’t miss a good party,” Jacinta says fixing Trey with a look that has his cheeks turning the brightest shade of pink.
I give Trey a smile. “We’ll let you keep going. Catch up with us later,” I say pulling Jacinta towards the makeshift bar that has been set up under the whiteboard and begin to pour us both a drink of punch that I’m almost certain has been spiked with what tastes like a very cheap vodka.
“Why does he need to ‘catch up with us’?” Jacinta asks, slightly confused.
“Oh, did I say catch up with us? I meant to catch up with you,” I say grinning at the horrified look that has come across Jacinta’s pretty face.
“Bianca,” she whines desperately trying to think of an excuse, but coming up blank.
“Chill out, you’ll be fine. Have a drink and relax,” I say. “Besides, it’s not like I have my own daunting task to do tonight.”
“Who’s doing what now?” Daniel says slinging his arms over both mine and Jacinta’s shoulders and squeezing himself between us.
I nervously look up at Jacinta who I can see has a grin I know all too well and begins announcing loud and proud. “Oh, Bianca just wanted to te-”
“DANCE! Bianca was just wanted to Dance,” I say, cutting her off and catching the look in her eyes that lets me know ‘payback is a bitch’
Daniel gives us both a curious look and excuses himself to get a refill. “Hey, Daniel,” Jacinta calls after him.
He turns back around. “What’s up?” he responds.
“Catch up with us later,” she smiles, mimicking my earlier comments.
“You got it, babe,” he says, treating us to one of his panty dropping smiles before heading back to the drinks table where a flock of girls begin crowding around him.
“God, that smile,” Jacinta swoons.
“Tell me about it.”
Jacinta drags me into the center of the room and onto the makeshift dance floor. Together we dance and let loose surrounded by what seems like a million of our classmates. The night flies by and before I know it I’ve downed my fifth drink and the room is spinning. I call out to Jacinta and tell her I need to get some fresh air. She nods eagerly, though I’m pretty sure she’s far too pissed to understand what I was saying.
I pull away from the dance floor and head towards the drinks table and pour myself a glass water, plonking in three perfectly round ice cubes, a little umbrella, and a straw before heading out of the room. I make my way down the hall and push through the doors into the night. The cold air hits me hard and is enough to sober me up, well slightly.
I find myself an old wooden bench and sit down, allowing my head to stop spinning and take a moment to breathe in the cool air. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?” I hear a familiar voice say nervously behind me.
I turn into the familiar face of an awkward Daniel, who my alcohol consumption is making look incredibly sexy to me right about now. “Hey, just needed some air. You want to sit?” I say, indicating to the empty spot beside me.
“Yeah,” he laughs. “How much have you had to drink?” he asks.
“Ah… can’t remember,” I slur, joining in with his laugh. “But don’t worry, I stopped when the room started spinning,” I say holding up my glass of water.
“Very responsible,” he commends. “I wouldn’t want you passing out on me at the first senior party of the year.”
“Oh, whatever,” I joke. “You guys threw it together pretty quickly,” I say, earning myself a proud smile from Daniel.
“Well you know us, as efficient as ever,” he jokes, then suddenly turns serious, clearly having the same train of thought that it is now or never. “Look, I know now probably isn’t the best time for this, but I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he says, “about… us,” he adds nervously.
Oh geez. “Yeah, I know… me too,” I say quietly, not as confident as Daniel had been.
We both sit quietly for a short while, neither knowing how to start or how to get the words out. The silence is killing me when Daniel finally lets it out. “Well, it’s no secret that I’m into you,” he says with a shy smile, though catching my eye turns into a full blown grin.
“Really?” I gasp, teasing. “I would have never guessed,” I laugh.
“Well, I thought for a minute there, you might have felt the same way?” he asks nervously, unable to look me in the eye, though getting points for at least having the balls to ask the question.
I sit quietly for a moment, dreading the conversation ahead of me, scared of hurting his feelings and possibly ruining a great friendship. “I have to be honest,” I finally say. “For a minute I thought I did, and then I talked myself into it a little more and I was so ready to start something with you. You know, you have always been so kind, you have this amazing smile, and you’re one of my best friends,” I say heading a little off track. I pause for moment to gather my thoughts, “But that’s all it is. When we were watching that movie and you put your arm around me, I realized that I kind of lead you on and I’m so scared that I’m going to hurt you because you truly are one of my best friends and… I’m rambling… I guess, I just don’t want to ruin that,” I say a little more honest than I had planned. Too late now, the words are out. I look up at him with a cringe as I try to gauge his response.
He looks down at his hands with a thoughtful expression on his face, not saying a word. He finally looks up at me, “You know what?” he smiles unexpectedly. “I think you’re wrong,” he says, as a matter of fact, then continues at my blank and confused expression. “You see, after all these years, I know you pretty damn well and I think you just need time. I know we’re going to be pretty damn good together.”
“I know, you’re pretty much perfect for me. We have this awesome chemistry and all this history together,” I admit, “but what happens if you’re wrong?”
Daniel gives me his usual charming look. “Oh, Bianca. You should know by now, I am never wrong,” he laughs and throws his arm around my side, pulling me close to him.
“I’m not so sure about that,” I tease. “Remember when you insisted that we all break into the pool for a midnight swim and you said we wouldn’t get in trouble, yet somehow we all ended up with a weeks worth of detentions and all our parents got called?”
“Yeah…. so I might have been wrong, just that one time,” he cringes at the memory. “C’mon, let’s get back to the party,” he says pulling me up off the chair. I remind him of a few other times where he’s been wrong and am halfway back to the party when we see the door at the other end of the hall open with numerous of angry teachers storming through.
Daniel grabs my arm and pulls me behind a pillar, caging me in with his hard body. His heart beats rapidly against mine and I’m not sure if that is due to the alcohol, the risk of getting caught or
the heat of our bodies being pushed together.
I look up at Daniel and find his face just inches from mine, his eyes bore into mine and I know exactly what he wants to do. I have always imagined what it would be like to kiss Daniel, would his lips be soft against mine? Would it be slow and passionate? Or would it be sloppy and awful like the rest of the boys in my grade? Daniel brings his face closer to mine, taking it slowly so he can make his intentions clear, but it’s Rylan I’d rather be doing this with. It’s Rylan’s arms I want to be held in and it’s Rylan’s lips I want to feel against mine.
“Daniel, stop,” I plead, quietly, trying to drag my head away as far as the concrete pillar behind me would allow. “This isn’t right.”
“It’s so right,” he argues. “Just give it a chance.”
“How can you say that?” I whisper. “You know it means something different to me.” Something so different, say like wishing it was my hunky combat instructor instead, but how could I tell him that?
“I know,” he responds. “But just now, you looked like you wanted to, like you were fighting something and that gives me hope that deep down you do have some sort of feelings for me and I won’t stop until I figure out what that means,” he says and I’m shocked by the level of honesty he’s been dishing out for me tonight.
I don’t have the heart to tell him that inner battle was because of my confused feelings for Rylan. I reach up and give him a small kiss on the cheek. “There’s a lot of things going on in my head at the moment that I’m confused about and I’m not sure what I want. But you’re right, I do want to kiss you, but not for the reasons that you want,” I say, hoping my words don’t cause any harm.
“Well, I always knew you wanted to kiss me, I mean, who wouldn’t?” he laughs then suddenly falls quiet. “I guess all I’m asking is that you don’t write me off just yet,” he says.
I take a moment to think about what he’s asking of me and I at least owe it to him to consider it a bit more. Knowing how I feel about Rylan, I’m pretty sure I know what my answer will be. I’ll never be able to give him an honest relationship as long as my mind is consumed with everything Rylan. But, on the other hand, what harm could it bring for me to give it a few more weeks? “Ok,” I finally say. “For you, I’ll think about it. I just don’t want you to be hurt if the answer is still no,” I say honestly.
“If that’s what it comes to, then that’s fine. I’ll handle it. But at least I’ll know that you thought about it and gave me a chance,” he says in a whisper.
We stay this way for a while longer and I throw my arms around him and give a tight squeeze. “Come on,” I finally say. “Let’s get out of here before we get busted.”
“Ok, I’ll walk you back.” True to his word, he walks me to my dorm, hiding along the way in as much of the night's darkness as possible to avoid being caught by the teachers who now seem to be everywhere. We chat about the party and I’m over the moon there are no awkward moments between us.
He deposits me at my door and says good night like any true gentleman and quickly makes his escape. It takes me all of three seconds to flop onto my bed with makeup, boots, and jacket still well and truly intact and fall into a deep and calming sleep. Dreaming about what it would have been like to kiss his sweet lips.
Chapter 7
I wake to a loud pounding in my head and open my eyes to the harsh bright light of Saturday morning. I grab my phone and hit the home button to see the time. 11.38 am. “Oh, crap,” I groan to myself, annoyed I’ve wasted my morning with sleep.
“What’s ‘Oh crap’?” I hear a groggy Jacinta ask from under her pillow.
“It’s nearly midday,” I murmur, dragging myself out of bed, pulling off my boots and heading into the bathroom. I face myself in the mirror and confirm that I look just as bad as I feel with my hair a nest of hairspray and my makeup smudged all over my face.
Jacinta joins me in the bathroom and I’m rewarded with her complete horror as she takes herself in. Her hair and makeup, mirroring mine. “I’m assuming you feel just as awful as I do?” I ask.
“Shhh, there’s no need to make all that noise,” she says, riffling through the bathroom drawers until she finds the little packet of painkillers. “We have a lot to talk about, right after these babies kick in,” she says and makes her way out of the bathroom.
I take a hot shower and get myself under control. Washing my hair two, then three times, and scrubbing the mascara off my face. Geez, who’s idea was it to make waterproof mascara? Finally, feeling refreshed, I turn off the taps and wrap a towel around my clean, naked body.
I open the door just in time for Jacinta to barge her way through and close it behind me. Clearly someone still needs a few extra minutes for those painkillers to kick in. I get myself dressed and ready for the day, not bothering with the blow drying routine as I wait for Jacinta to finish her shower.
After what feels like forever she’s finally ready and we head out to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, praying there’s still some bacon and eggs to kill this hangover.
“So, spill the beans,” Jacinta says, grabbing a plate and searching the rows of food for something to soothe her stomach.
“Huh? Me? You’re the one who said ‘we have a lot to talk about’. You spill the beans,” I say, curious about what had happened after I left the party.
“Well,” she starts with a wide grin. “After you disappeared, I was talking to Trey and I don’t know how, but we ended up dancing and talking, and it was such a great night. Well, most of it is a little blurry, but it was so nice to spend time just the two of us,” she grins, completely smitten.
“Ooh, I see, and did anything happen?” I ask, probing for more information.
Jacinta’s grin falters and is replaced with disappointment. “No,” she sighs. “That’s what’s I don’t get. He had every opportunity to make a move and he just... didn’t.”
“How strange. Maybe he’s shy? Or maybe he wasn’t sure if you wanted to,” I say, trying my hardest to make her feel better.
“What? I was practically throwing myself at him,” she admits. “He definitely knew I was up for it.”
“Hmm… maybe he was just being a gentleman,” I suggest.
“Yeah right. Gentleman is not a word I’d use to describe Trey,” she laughs. “I think he just doesn’t like me. If he did, he would have done something.”
“I know he does. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation as to why he hasn’t come riding in on a horse and swept you off your feet yet,” I say trying my hardest to be helpful. “Maybe he has performance anxiety?” I laugh.
“Yeah, yeah,” she says dismissing the conversation with a roll of her blue eyes. “Now, what the hell happened to you?” she says with a surprising level of chirpiness compared to the one of complete heartbreak she was giving me before.
“I told you. I went to get some air,” I say, breaking into a grin.’
“Spill it,” she demands as she fixes me with an unimpressed look.
“So, I went to get some air,” I continue. “And surprise, surprise, Daniel followed me out,” I say slowly.
“And?” she asks, prompting me to fill in the million blanks I’ve just left.
“And, we talked about everything,” I tell her. “He told me exactly how he feels about me and how we would be perfect together,” I say pausing with a look of pure delight at how romantic it all sounds. “I told him I could only see him as a friend and I that was scared to hurt him,” I add looking up at Jacinta who’s in complete shock that I had actually been honest with him.
“Ooh, and how did he take it?” she asks, cringing at the thought of his poor heart shattering into tiny pieces due to my confused mind.
“Pretty good actually,” I say. “He asked me not to give up on him and to keep thinking about it.”
“Whoa,” Jacinta says quietly. “He’s really got it bad. Who would have known that the kid had it in him?”
“Tell me about it. I felt pretty bad, b
ut he seemed to take it quite well. I mean, that didn’t stop him from trying to kiss me while you guys were getting busted,” I say as an afterthought knowing the exact reaction I’d get from her.
“WHAT?” she shouts, “It’s taken you this long to get that part out?” she scolds in mock horror, grabbing me by both shoulders and demanding more information.
“Yeah,” I laugh, thinking of the memory. “Don’t stress, I told him no. As hot as it would have been, it wasn’t right.”
“Good girl,” she says approvingly. “He probably still tried anyway.”
“That he did,” I say with a smirk.
Finally, after my grouchy tummy is filled with pancakes and the hangover has started to wear off, Jacinta and I get up and make our way out the door. “So, are you ready for that awkward conversation with Trey?” I say quickly.
“What? No,” she shrieks.
“Ok, well he’s heading this way,” I explain, indicating towards the boy's dorm where the figure of Trey looking down at his phone is walking our way.
“Oh, crap,” she says with dread. “Put your head down. Pretend you didn’t see him. Crap. I barely even brushed my hair. I’m a mess.”
“Really? Are you sure? I could call out to him,” I tease.
“Do it and die,” she warns, grabbing my arm and picking up her pace.
We walk around the massive Academy exploring the ins and outs of the senior campus until we find a nice quiet spot away from the rest of the students who are bored on the weekend with nothing else to do. We lay down on a grassy patch of sunlight and take in the warmth of the summer sun when I hear the familiar ‘ping’ on my phone telling me I’ve received an email.
“Oh, it’s from Mom,” I announce, settling into my own world as I relax and read the words written by my mother.
To: Bianca Moore, Amelia Moore
From: Gabrielle Moore
Subject: Checking In
Hi Girls,
Just checking in to see how you both went with your first week of school, I haven’t heard much from either of you, so you must be pretty busy.
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