“Nah, I was thinking I’d check in on Millie today and maybe have a chat with Daniel before classes tomorrow,” I say, dreading my own plan.
“Good idea,” she says.
We head back up to our dorm and get ready for our day. I walk with Jacinta up to the bus stop to meet with the teachers who’ll be taking the students into town. I’m shocked to find Trey waiting in line to get his name marked off.
“Do you see what I see?” I say to Jacinta with a grin.
“I sure do,” she replies, breaking away and joining the line. “Bye,” she calls as I turn and head back into the safe walls of the Academy to search the grounds for my conniving little sister.
I head straight for the junior campus and spot her coming out of the cafeteria. “Millie,” I call, catching her attention. She turns at the sound of her name and gives me a beautiful smile that catches me off guard, making me realize just how quickly she’s growing up.
She walks over and wraps her thin arms around me. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d come and see how you’re going or have you reached that stage where having your big sister around is embarrassing?” I ask, cringing at the thought.
Millie loops her arm through mine and we head down towards the field. “No, of course not,” she says, then launches into her breakdown on how her year has been going. We chat for an hour, filling in each other with the ins and outs of our daily life. I tell her all about Daniel, though, I skip a few details that I promise I’ll share with her when she’s a bit older. I drop her off at her dorm room and head back over to the senior campus in search for Daniel.
Finding Daniel proves to be a bit harder than finding Millie had. After searching the cafeteria and checking his dorm room, I decide wandering the whole senior campus might be my best option. I find him out on the field kicking a ball around with as little enthusiasm as possible.
Daniel sees me coming and gives me a wave. “Hey,” he says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, completely out of character.
“Is this a bad time?” I ask awkwardly, not wanting to interrupt whatever it is that has him out here all by himself.
He picks up his ball and walks over to meet me. “No, perfect actually. I was kind of hoping I might see you today, though, I thought you’d be out shopping this morning?”
“Nah, I had a bit on my mind,” I admit, sitting down in the grass, gesturing for Daniel to join me.
He sits down beside me, keeping the ball in his hands, staring at it as if it has all of life’s answers. “I know what you mean,” he says, giving me yet another smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Is everything ok?” I ask.
“I, ah… wanted to talk to you about, well, I guess everything,” he says quietly.
“Funny,” I say, mimicking his tone. “That exactly why I’m here.”
He takes a deep breath and lets it all out. “So Rylan came to visit me yesterday,” he starts, pausing as he works out what to say. “He kind of made me see that what we were doing, well… I was taking advantage of you. I mean, you were drunk and I should never have kissed you like that.”
“Woah, cowboy,” I say, interrupting whatever ridiculous thing that was about to come pouring out next. “Hold it right there. First off, yes, I was drunk and that’s completely on me. I knew what I was doing, and to be honest, getting drunk was pretty much my plan from the beginning. Secondly, I came onto you. I told you I wanted to have fun, so if anyone was taken advantage of, I’m sorry to say, but it was you.”
He rolls his eyes at my logic. “Whichever way you want to look at it, I kissed you, and yes it was absolutely amazing, but I did it knowing that you don’t feel the same about me.”
He has me lost for words. I scoot over to him and loop my arms through his and rest my head on his shoulder. “It’s ok,” I say, not denying his words.
“I realized something this week, which you confirmed the other night,” he says slowly.
“And what’s that?” I ask nervously, completely unsure where this conversation is headed.
“You’re in love with Rylan,” he says bluntly with his heart on his sleeve as he focuses every bit of his attention on his ball.
I’m rendered speechless. Love? Who said anything about love? I mean, I have a nasty crush is all. I couldn’t be falling in love with him, I’ve only known the guy a few weeks.
“I thought something was up on Monday when you hurt your thumb and you came out of the control room together. I figured I was just being an idiot, imagining things. Then during shooting, he put his hand on your shoulder and I could see it written all over your face, clear as day. Then you were all over me at the club and I thought I had made the whole thing up and you were finally coming around to the idea of us together. Until… he showed up,” he says pausing, his face falling as his heart shatters. “He showed up and it’s like I was invisible to you.”
I try my hardest to come up with anything to say, but all I can do is look at him and watch as his heart breaks. I want nothing more than to deny what he’s saying and make everything right, to go back a few days and make it all go away, but I can’t. I can’t lie to my friend.
“No, Bianca, don’t look at me like that. I’ve known you since we were kids. I’ve seen you go from guy to guy, getting hurt over and over again and I’ve been patient, hoping that maybe I’ll be next because I know we would be amazing together, and God, I wish you would just give it a go, but I know that’s never going to happen.”
I blink a tear away as my head rests on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” I say quietly, knowing that’s not enough, but it’s all I can manage at this point. He lets go of his ball and wraps an arm around my body, holding me close as we sit in each other’s company.
After a short while, Daniel gets up and helps me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me and giving me a tight squeeze. “I’ve seen you fall or guys before,” he says. “but this time, there’s something different. I just hope you know what you’re doing because it will kill me to see you get hurt again.”
I step back, looking him in the eye. “Thank you,” I say, knowing this is his way of giving me his blessing and letting me know that he’s alright. “But don’t worry too much, he’s not interested.”
“Bianca,” he laughs, throwing his arm over my shoulder and guiding me back up to the dorms. “For being the man eater you are, you’re so blind.”
I spend the afternoon sulking in my room thinking about Daniel’s broken heart and his comments about being in love with Rylan. Why couldn’t I have forgotten about Rylan and made it work with Daniel? It would have saved us both a lot of trouble.
Jacinta makes it back and is ecstatic when she flies through the door. “Oh, my gosh, Bianca. I’ve had the most amazing day, well apart from the fact that Nora was on the trip, but whoa… what’s up with you?” she asks, getting sight of my face, her earlier thoughts completely forgotten.
“Oh nothing, I just broke Daniels' heart. No… that’s not enough. I broke it, then tore it up into little pieces and then crushed those pieces to smithereens.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well?” she asks, coming and sitting beside me on the bed.
“Not really, he worked out that I have feelings for Rylan, so pretty much took himself out of the picture.”
“Whoa, I did not see that coming,” she says in shock. “That is so unlike Daniel. Very noble.”
“I know, I guess I just hurt him a bit too much this time.”
Jacinta gives me a big hug, then digs through her purse. “I bought you a lollypop,” she says, holding it up in front of me with a huge smile. I grab it from her and plaster on a smile.
“You’re such a great friend,” I say, attempting to break into my lollypop. “Now, I believe you had something you wanted to share with me?”
“Oh, do I ever,” she sings with a grin that splits her face in two. “Trey asked me out.”
“WHAT? That’s so exciting. I’m so happy fo
r you,” I squeal with delight, barrelling into her with a huge bear hug. “Tell me all about it,” I say as we begin jumping up and down.
“Well,” she starts. “It all started on the bus. He came along because Daniel was apparently sulking and needed some time to himself, which I guess we all know why now, but he sat next to me and we started talking and then he just asked,” she says, her cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink as her eyes go all dreamy thinking about her day.
“So, we had lunch together, which I guess is technically our first date and then we went shopping, though, do you know how hard it is to go clothes shopping with a guy tagging along? I swear, I hardly bought anything that I actually went there for, we’ll have to go again, just us.”
“That’s so cute,” I tease, then get a little more serious. “So, how are you going to break the news to your Dad?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” she declares. “I won’t be saying a word. I think Dad would have a heart attack and disown me.”
“I think you’re right,” I laugh. “Hey, didn’t you say something about Nora?”
“Oh yeah, she was there and saw Trey and me together, and pretty much lost her shit. She was being such a nasty cow, she didn’t actually say anything to me, but made heaps of comments on the way back.”
“Oh, I’m sorry she ruined your special day like that,” I say, giving her a quick squeeze.
“Don’t stress, in this situation, the good definitely outweighed the bad. Now, let’s get some dinner, I’m starving,” she announces, dragging me off the bed and out the door.
We grab our dinner to go and head back to our room as Jacinta plans a night of movies and I plan a night of dreading the following day.
----------
Just great. It’s Monday. The day where I will have to face Daniel after breaking his heart and I have no idea how it is going to go. Will he be normal and act as though nothing happened? Or is he going to be completely weird and awkward? Then, this afternoon, I’ll have to face Rylan, who’s now witnessed me in my most embarrassing moment, making a complete fool of myself. And not to mention, I’m still waiting for his lecture to come for my shenanigans on Friday night which I’m sure he’s been working on, so no doubt it will be a good one.
I make my way out of the room and head down for breakfast, sitting with a loved up Jacinta and Trey. “Where’s Daniel?” Jacinta asks.
“He slept in,” he says awkwardly, taking a bite out of a bacon and egg roll, trying his hardest to avoid any type of eye contact. So, in other words, Daniel is playing the ‘let’s be awkward and avoid Bianca at all costs’ game. Great.
I head off to my classes for the day, finding it extremely difficult to focus on any of my work. It is finally that dreaded time of the afternoon where I’m not going to be able to avoid either Rylan or Daniel. ‘Here goes’ I think to myself as I push through the doors to the Combat Room. I walk in and immediately find both sets of eyes on mine, one a harsh glare, the other full of hurt.
They both watch me as I come deeper into the room. Daniel gives me a tight smile and looks away and my heart breaks for him all over again, while Rylan on the other hand, holds my eyes with an unsatisfied look and I realize that I’m also the last to enter. Damn it.
“Good, now that we’re all here,” he says, tearing his eyes off mine. “We can get started.”
He launches into the day's lesson and relief fills me to have that part of the day over, though I know there’s definitely more coming from Rylan. I just don’t know when. Our lesson today is focusing on defensive techniques and I am once again relieved to be paired with Tom, though I know he can whoop my ass, at least there’s no added drama for this part of the day.
I focus my attention on Tom and do my best to take everything I’ve learned over the past two weeks and put it into my fight. I watch and calculate his every move and while my efforts aren’t even close to being good enough, I at least feel as though I’m getting better. But don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of strength and speed to make up to be on the same level as Tom, let alone the same level as Rylan.
We finish for the day and I head over to the small stage to collect my belongings, while Daniel beelines for the door, clearly not ready to talk to me yet. I turn and head for the exit. “Bianca,” I hear my name being called.
Oh shit.
I stop in my tracks and turn around to find Rylan sitting on the steps to the small stage, watching me intently. I get a sympathetic look from Trey as he leaves the room, leaving me and Rylan alone. Hesitating in my spot, feeling very unsure of what I should do or what’s about to happen. I walk over and stand in front of him, my arms crossed over my chest, guarding myself as much as possible for his onslaught of yells and lectures.
He stands and indicates to the spot he just vacated. “Sit,” he orders. I sit down slowly with nerves flooding my body. Rylan is quiet for a short time as I sit in absolute silence. “What’s going on, Bianca?” he finally says.
“Um… what do you mean?” I ask looking up at him.
He takes a slow breath. “The first day of class, you were so motivated to be here. There was a fire in you wanting desperately to prove that you belong here,” he starts. “But now, I’m not so sure, that fire has completely disappeared and I can’t figure out how in such a short time.”
His words burn me like never before and I’m desperate for his understanding. “I really do want to be here, and I swear I am motivated to be the best I can be. I honestly thought I was doing pretty good today,” I pause, debating whether or not I can confide in him. “I’ve just… had a bit on my mind lately.”
He looks down at me with pure concern in his eyes, and I know that at the moment he’s not talking to me as my instructor, but as something else and just like that, I know Jacinta was onto something about his possible feelings. “Do you care to explain?” he asks.
Something deep inside urges me on and I realize I can trust Rylan with my deepest secrets, and not only that, I want to share it with him, I need him to understand me. Taking a shaky breath, I prepare myself to tell a story I have never shared with anyone, not even Jacinta. “It was a few days before Christmas and I was nine years old. I was spending the day with Jacinta’s family while my Mom took Millie shopping for a present for my Dad. I wasn’t feeling well so Jacinta’s Dad dropped me home,” I stop to take a shaky breath as nerves begin to take over me.
“The front door was wide open and I remember thinking how strange that was. I tiptoed inside to find my Dad being attacked by a vampire. He fought so hard. I still remember the sound of his bones being repeatedly broken and crushed.” The memory has me flinching and I feel my eyes beginning to tear up.
“Dad saw me near the kitchen door and yelled for me to run, but I was so scared. I just stood there, hiding behind the door and watching helplessly while that monster put his fangs to Dad’s neck and laughed. The color drained from his cheeks and he kept his eyes locked on mine, telling me he was sorry and reminding me how much he loved me while that monster sucked his life from his body.”
Rylan gives me a slow nod, urging me on. “Once he was done, he dropped Dad’s body to the ground like it was nothing then turned his attention on me. I’ll never forget his eyes, they haunt me nearly every night. He walked over to me with this sickening grin and grabbed me by the shoulders before kneeling down to my height. Dad’s blood was still dripping from his mouth and I could smell it on his breath when he told me he hoped I enjoyed the show.”
A shudder runs through me and I wrap my arms protectively around my body. “He grabbed my shirt and used it to wipe his face then pushed me aside and left. I sat with Dad until Mom came home. I never told her that I was there when it happened, she was already shattered over Dad and I couldn’t stand to have her hurting for me too.”
“Wow,” he says, slightly taken back. “There were notes in your file, but I never imagined it could have been that bad,” he says with understanding and sympathy pouring from him. “I’m sorry you had to go thro
ugh that, it would have been rough, especially at nine years old.”
“Understatement of the year,” I declare with a grunt, completely agreeing with him.
“Don’t get me wrong here, but that happened nearly nine years ago. How does it have anything to do with what’s going on now?” he asks, knowing there’s always more to a story.
Taking another deep breath, I spill the beans on what I know, hoping he could shed some light. “I heard these girls talking the other day about a vampire attack last week and the man who was killed, his daughter was forced to watch. Which kind of brought up a few memories and got me thinking about all the similarities between the two and I don’t know why, but something is screaming at me that it’s the same guy,” I say as a matter of fact. “So, that sort of made my nightmares come back and on top of getting my ass handed to me every day, I’ve now hurt one of my best friends, and not mention the constant shit Luke is always trying to start. It’s just a lot.”
“Is there something I need to know about Luke?” he asks, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
“No, he just got a bit too handsy a few years ago, so I kicked his ass and he hasn’t quite forgiven me yet. Nothing I can’t handle.” I smile.
“Right… the other night when you said you couldn’t sleep, was that one of those nightmares?” I give Rylan a small nod, realizing this guy doesn’t miss a thing. I look up at him and immediately look away, unable to handle the emotion behind his eyes.
Rylan is quiet for a while, considering everything I’ve just shared with him, then fixes me with a look that tells me my tough love instructor is back. “I get it, I really do. You’re having a tough time at the moment, however it’s no excuse to steal a car, get drunk in a club and throw yourself at your friends,” he says bluntly. “I think what you four did was incredibly stupid and not to mention extremely dangerous. Do you even fully understand the risks involved with drinking alcohol in a club, when no one knows where you are and with a bunch of other underage teenagers? Had anyone else caught you, you would all be packing your bags and making a new life for yourselves among the rest of the human world.”
Destruct: The Guard Trilogy Page 15