Thanatos had lost track of time. Lost track of their location. Lost track of everything but the female marching ahead of him, picking her way through the sea of blackened trees that covered the ground of the long snaking cavern. He flexed his fingers. Curled them. Stretched them. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since they had entered this strange dead forest. Wasn’t sure how long it had been since Calindria had revealed the real reason she feared him being close to her. Wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had felt as if his entire world had been tilted on its head.
He flexed his fingers. Curl. Stretch.
When that arch of rock had broken beneath Calindria’s slender weight, when she had plummeted into the ravine, when he had sensed her desperate desire to live, it had been like a knife in his chest.
Curl. Stretch.
When she had touched his hand.
He lifted it before him and stared at it. Lost. Disturbed. Half-angry, half-calm. Two voices warred within him, silencing his tongue, and all he could do was trudge behind her as he did battle with himself.
She looked back at him, her sapphire gaze searing him in a way that rankled, had him wanting to snap at her, just as he had wanted to lash out at her when she had touched him.
Touched him.
He gritted his teeth, every muscle in his body tensing as acid poured through his veins, the angry part of himself swift to seize the opportunity to vanquish the part of him that whispered her touch hadn’t been so bad. She hadn’t tried to enslave him. She hadn’t tried to seduce him. It had been a simple brush of her fingers over his.
He almost growled.
There had been nothing simple about it. Simple implied it had been harmless. It hadn’t been. That brief touch of her fingers against his had thrown him into a tailspin, had ignited this battle within him, tearing him between snarling and lashing out at her, hurting her before she could hurt him, and falling to his knees before her, desperate to feel the gentle softness and warmth of her skin against his again.
How long had it been since he’d had contact with another? Since he’d had contact with a female?
Not blows rendered in battle, meant to split flesh and break bone, or playful jabs that were for show.
Real physical contact.
Even his mother, Nyx, had resorted to only touching his wings to calm him when he was agitated, knew better than to risk skin contact between them when his mood was dark.
Thanatos shut down his line of thought, tried to purge it from his mind and focus back on his task, but his head remained foggy, his entire world off-balance.
All because of an innocent brush of her hand against his.
When she looked at him this time, he couldn’t stop himself from lifting his head and pinning her with a black look, a glare meant to scare her away, as it did everyone else in this world. Only rather than averting her gaze, she scowled right back at him, a mulish twist to her lips.
She huffed and muttered, “I am not sure I will ever understand you.”
Good. He shrugged as she turned away from him, her chin tipping up, her strides lengthening. He sensed her anger and refused to feel bad about it. It didn’t stop that wretched guilt from forming in his gut, didn’t stop him from averting his eyes as shame swept through him.
He flexed his fingers. Curled them. Stretched them. Still couldn’t shake the electric tingles that had shot up his arm when she had touched him. Her fingers had been gentle. Soft. Warm. So warm. The caress had been brief, but she had left a mark on him. One that seemed indelible. No matter what he did, he couldn’t erase it.
They walked in silence for what had to be another two miles before her pace finally slowed again. She stumbled on a root and muttered a ripe curse, one that was very unladylike.
Thanatos picked his way through the black leafless trees to her. “You need to rest.”
She huffed at that, tossed daggers at him and continued walking. He thought she would remain silent, but as they reached an area where the trees began to thin, she looked back at him. The darkness that had been etched on her features for the last—gods knew how long—was gone, replaced with something far more unsettling.
A softness that had a thought rising unbidden within him.
She had grown into a real beauty.
Thanatos didn’t just shut down that thought. He killed it and buried it in the black dirt behind him.
Unfortunately, it didn’t stop her from looking at him in that way, with a spark in her clear blue eyes that softened them, that spoke to him. All these centuries later, hundreds of years in captivity, and her heart hadn’t been completely blackened and corrupted.
There was still a light within her, albeit a tiny flicker when before it had been a glow that had lit up her face.
She had shone brightly as a child, like the sun.
Now she shone with strength, with courage, stood tall despite everything that had happened to her and all her fears. And gods, he admired her for it, even when he knew he shouldn’t, even when he knew admitting that to himself was a dangerous thing to do.
“This power of mine—” She cut herself off and glanced back at him again, a hint of fear in her eyes now, one that made him want to close the distance between them and do something unthinkable—like placing his hand on her to show her that she wasn’t alone. She sighed and looked at the trees, at the roof of the cavern high above them. “Is there no end to this forest?”
Thanatos beat his wings and lifted into the air, gaining enough height that he could see for miles into the gloom. Shock rolled through him as he looked the way they had come. Even with his heightened vision, he couldn’t make out the start of the forest. He turned and beat his wings, peered into the darkness ahead of them. Not good.
He gently lowered himself and touched down close to where he had taken off. “The trees continue for at least another three miles, perhaps even more. They extend to the furthest point I can see.”
Calindria rubbed the dirty soles of her bare feet. “Maybe there’s a tunnel we can take somewhere along the sides of this cavern.”
“Maybe you could let me fly you.” He weathered the black look she gave him.
“I will not risk it.” She finished brushing down her feet. “I do not know if my power will harm you.”
He refused to soften upon hearing her concern and seeing it in her eyes. “Then we should at least rest. We must have been walking for more than a day, possibly two since we met.”
“I don’t want to rest.” She started walking again, navigating her way through the trees that were spread further apart.
At least he had that going for him. He had lost count of the number of times he had banged his wings when trying to move between the trees in the dense parts of the forest. Hopefully, the route ahead of them would be more like this, with several feet between the gnarled and twisted trunks that towered over them.
They only made it a few hundred feet before Calindria stumbled on another root and fell, hitting the black ground hard on her hands and knees. She was quick to grip the tree beside her and pull herself up, and even quicker to toss him a look that dared him to say anything.
He sighed.
Apparently, that counted as picking her up on the fact she was tired.
She twisted to face him, a shimmer of crimson in her blue irises. “You could just go a different way to me.”
She didn’t mean that. Her knees weren’t the only thing that had taken a hit when she had fallen. Her pride had too, and when combined with her fatigue, it had been enough to make her snappish again. The spark in her eyes was quick to fade, regret washing across her delicate features before she turned away from him and checked the waterskin she clutched in one hand.
She sipped it as she walked and he noticed she was moving more slowly now, carefully picking her way over the twisted roots that seemed to rise higher off the ground in this part of the forest.
In the distance, something howled and shrieked, and Calindria stiffened. Thanatos closed ranks with her
, narrowing the distance down to only ten feet, a small enough gap that he could easily grab her and fly with her before she could utter a protest or even think to run.
“Any idea what that might have been?” She glanced at him, frowned as she noticed he was closer, but didn’t make him move away.
He shook his head and reached out with his senses, but anything beyond a few feet was dull, dampened by this godsforsaken realm.
“I thought maybe you had eaten one and would know what it was.” She looked around her, her steps growing more cautious.
He softened his steps too, keeping the noise he made as he moved down to a minimum, in case the beast had good hearing and was hungry. They walked in silence for at least another mile, during which he didn’t hear the creature again. Maybe it had moved in the other direction from them.
Calindria relaxed too.
Promptly stumbled on another root.
Thanatos reached for her, but she found her footing and scurried away from him, placing more distance between them.
“When was the last time you slept?” He averted his gaze as she stopped and bent forwards to remove something from her foot, flashing more than was decent at him. It was hard enough to keep his eyes off her curves as it was. He was constantly aware of how little she wore, and how creamy her skin was now she had bathed. “You need to sleep.”
“I can’t.” She stomped ahead of him, but was careful whenever she encountered an obstacle.
Didn’t want to fall and give him more ammunition in their argument?
“You are tired and you need to sleep, Calindria.” He gave up being soft with her, put bite into his tone that revealed the irritation that was mounting inside him, sure that if she heard it, she might see sense.
She turned on him, a desperate and wild look in her eyes that he hadn’t been expecting. “I won’t sleep!”
He let her storm off ahead of him. That was more like it. She could sleep if she wanted, but she couldn’t because she would leave herself vulnerable and she didn’t trust him. For a moment, he had thought she trusted him now, knew he would keep her safe if she let her guard down, would watch over her and protect her. He couldn’t blame her for being cautious, even though it was a little insulting. He had done nothing to hurt her, had done his best not to frighten her, and to show her that he was there to help her.
“Tell me more about your power.” She didn’t look back at him.
He strode after her. “Why?”
She glanced at him now, slowed her pace a little when she saw the distance yawning between them. “Because I want to know more about my own power. Perhaps I can learn about it from you.”
He wasn’t sure she could, but he could see she needed to take her mind off sleeping, was determined not to succumb to it.
“I govern the veil… a realm that exists between the last breath and Hades receiving a soul for judgement.” He stepped over a root, keeping his eyes on the ground as he thought about how best to explain what he did. “When someone’s allotted time ends, I am the one who severs their body from their soul, and I usher the soul on to your father.”
“Sounds very laborious.” She stopped in front of two trees that had twined together and banked right, going around them. “How do you find the time? Death strikes countless times per second, surely?”
Death strikes? He was death.
“Most of it is… automatic… is probably the best word.” He shrugged when she looked at him in a way that said it wasn’t a good enough explanation. “Your father does not judge every soul that comes to him. Much of it is done by the will of his power, by him simply existing. Only special cases require my actual intervention.”
She huffed. “That does not give me any insight into my power at all. What other powers do you have? Can you… Does your touch hurt others as mine does?”
He shook his head, realised she wouldn’t see it, and said, “No. I can touch and be touched without harming others. I cannot bring death in the manner you do… not outside the veil.”
She paused and twisted to face him, a glimmer of curiosity lighting her eyes. “And inside the veil?”
He pondered that. “Within the veil, my power is absolute. I can kill with a touch if I will it. I can kill with only a thought.”
It was the reason the veil existed in the first place. Everything outside it was safe from any stray thought he might have. Without the veil, everyone who irritated him would drop dead and he would be unstoppable.
The most powerful god in existence.
“What’s the veil like?” She looked even more curious now.
“If you rest for a while, I will build a fire for you and will tell you all about it.” He almost smiled when her face darkened, that mulish twist to her lips back again.
“Blackmailing me now, god of death?”
He shrugged, lifting his wings. “I am not asking you to sleep… merely to rest.”
She looked around them, silent so long he was sure she was going to refuse, was trying to find a route where he couldn’t follow her and would make a break for it, preferring to run than rest.
“Very well,” she bit out. “There appears to be a clearing this way.”
She started off at an angle from him, heading north-west. Thanatos followed her, gathering logs and broken branches along the way. His arms were full by the time they reached the clearing, and she arched an eyebrow at him as he kneeled and let his hoard tumble from his grip.
“Planning to build a bonfire large enough to attract whatever beast is out there?” She studied his pile of wood.
He wasn’t even sure he could make it burn.
“No. But it is a good idea. I could kill it and cook it for us.” He rose to his feet.
She needed food in her belly. Immortals could survive a long time without food, but he preferred to find her something to eat. While starvation wouldn’t kill her, it would weaken her. If something in this dark realm attacked her, she might not be able to fend them off if her power didn’t activate.
“Or it could kill and eat you,” she countered, and for a heartbeat, he was sure she was worried about his safety and not just her own. She rubbed her arms and looked around the small clearing, and then moved off to one side of it. “I think whatever made that noise might be too large for you to handle alone anyway.”
He frowned at her for that subtle stab at his prowess as a warrior. Not that she noticed. She was too busy pulling a fallen log into the clearing. When she had positioned it to her satisfaction, she straightened and dusted off her hands, looking pleased with her work.
“I don’t get a seat?” He scowled at her for good measure when she sat on the one she had made for herself and just looked at him.
He huffed and kneeled again, strongly considering heading off to fight the beast. He needed to blow off some steam. His skin had felt too tight, his mind and body twitchy and restless, since Calindria had touched his hand. A good fight would go a long way towards releasing the tension building inside him.
“How do you intend to start the fire?” Her nose wrinkled and her lips quirked to one side as she frowned. “I think perhaps I was taught how… I could try to do it.”
“You think that little of my skills?” He glowered at her now, beginning to consider fighting her instead, even if it was only verbally. “First, I cannot handle a beast… a beast… something I am overqualified to fight. Now, I am so pathetic that I cannot even start a fire?”
Her lips flattened. Almost a pout.
“I did not mean it like that. I meant only to help!” She folded her arms across her chest, and it looked an awful lot like she was holding herself, trying to make herself feel better because he had made her feel bad. Thanatos refused to be swayed by it, held his ground and kept his glare in place. She did pout now. “What has put you in such a foul mood anyway?”
Her.
She had put him in a foul mood when she had dared to touch him. Damn her. He flexed his fingers again. Still couldn’t shake the tingle that linge
red, or how hyper-aware he was of her where she sat close to him, her gaze scalding him.
Setting his blood on fire.
Blood that had been as cold as ice for centuries, just the way he liked it.
He pulled back on the reins, bringing his mood back under control, and pinched his nose, using it as an excuse to close his eyes and not look at her. “I am tired. Someone refused to rest. I have been trekking for… weeks… I think.”
It sounded like a reasonable excuse for his mercurial mood, one she seemed to buy as she brought her knees up, resting her feet on the curve of the log, and held her legs to her chest.
“Fine,” she muttered. “You can make the fire. Will you rub sticks together? I vaguely remember being taught to do that.”
“Rub sticks together?” He glanced up from his work, pausing with one of the branches in his hand, ready to place on the fire he was constructing. “I mean, I can if you wish… but…”
“How else are you planning to make fire?” She rubbed her bare legs.
Thanatos diligently kept his eyes off them, somehow managing to resist the urge to look that blasted through him with every glide of her palms up and down her shins.
He finished building the fire and sat back, made sure she was paying attention, because some deeply buried part of him wanted her to witness that he wasn’t only good at dealing death.
When he was sure she was looking, he held his hand out to the wood and focused.
Summoned a power he rarely used in public.
One he felt sure would impress her.
Chapter 8
Blue flames flickered over the pile of black wood as Thanatos focused on it, small at first but building rapidly into a smokeless fire that danced in an unfelt breeze.
Calindria stared wide-eyed at it, and then at him, and then back at the flames. She eased from the log, one hand trailing behind her, remaining planted against it as she moved to her knees in front of the fire.
“Is it warm?” She reached her other hand out, jerked it back when a log cracked and blue sparks showered upwards, spiralling and twirling in the air. She eased her hand forwards again and looked at him, surprise written plainly across her face. “It’s warm.”
Thanatos: Guardians of Hades Series Book 8 Page 7