So high it would keep anyone out.
And for some reason, that made her feel sad.
She looked up into his eyes, her anger abating as his lingered, as he held on to his fury as he did whatever pain had made him close himself off from everyone, even his family. She wanted to reach up and frame his face with her hands, but he wouldn’t welcome the touch. He would strike at her, lashing out from hurt, in a need to defend himself against a perceived threat.
She wasn’t a threat to him.
But she felt he would never see that. He would never trust her, no matter how far they travelled together, no matter how long they spent with each other. She would do better to give up on him now, to cast aside any foolish notion she’d had that they could be friends, or possibly something more.
The softer part of her, the side of her that used to be dominant in her personality, would have her laughing and whiling away her days in the pursuit of fun, told her to give up on him. Thanatos would only hurt her if she let him get any closer to her.
The darker side of her, the one that had come to the fore during her captivity, a shield that had protected that sliver of light, bared fangs and snarled at her to not give up, to never give in.
Thanatos would surrender to her.
She wanted him, and that meant one thing.
He would be hers.
Thanatos turned on his heel and stalked away from her.
Calindria stared at his back, at his wings, enjoying the fierce wave of possessiveness that crashed over her and almost tore a growl from her lips.
A wall stood between her and what she wanted.
A wall so high she couldn’t scale it.
But there was more than one way to reach the other side and her prize—Thanatos’s heart.
She would break the wall down instead.
Chapter 14
Thanatos had been in a bad enough mood before Calindria had revealed there was a fire inside her, one that was as dark and powerful as that which her father commanded. Her outburst had taken him aback, the sight of her all riled up and angry with him, and the fact she had pulled rank on him, shocking him enough that he hadn’t had a chance to stop her before she had delivered the series of verbal blows that had cracked his defences wide open.
Had made him face some ugly truths about himself.
Now, as he stormed towards the mountains, he couldn’t stop his mind from going over and over what she had said to him. He wanted to deny it all, needed to find that one sliver of truth that would give him the strength to tear down everything she had said and restore balance within himself.
Only he feared that sliver was going to prove elusive, because it didn’t exist.
Calindria was wrong about him.
She was.
He didn’t need friends. He didn’t need company. He was happy flying solo and wasn’t interested in having visitors at his castle or spending time with others socially. His life as it stood, with most of his days passed alone in his realm or overseeing the dead and performing his duties in the veil, was what he wanted.
Yes, there were times when he was alone, but that didn’t make him lonely.
It didn’t.
Calindria caught up with him, her chin tipped up and shoulders rigid, and her eyes shining with the remnants of her fury, looking much like his had to at that very moment. She refused to look at him, did her best to keep pace with him even though the loose pebbly ground had to be hurting her bare feet. He told himself he didn’t care, but he still found himself slowing for her, still felt that urge to convince her to let him fly her so he could alleviate any pain she might be feeling and make her more comfortable.
She would reject him if he tried.
And gods, maybe he did deserve it, and maybe he didn’t want to risk that happening because maybe, just maybe, she was right.
He was a little lonely.
He was sure he hadn’t been before he had met her. This wretched feeling inside him was born of her company, born of fear of something foolish and ridiculous—the thought of parting from her.
No. He hadn’t been lonely before they had met, but he was sure he would feel lonely when his mission was done and she was back with her family. For the first time in centuries, he had been enjoying having company, even though she seemed determined to vex him from time to time. He glanced at her and lingered, that foolish part of him wishing they could turn back the clock to before she had upset him and he had upset her.
She kept her profile to him, didn’t acknowledge him at all as he stared at her, unable to take his eyes off her as feelings ran riot inside him, clashing and twisting into a seething mass that choked him.
Stirred other feelings inside him, ones he knew for certain he shouldn’t be entertaining.
His gaze drifted over her face, an ache forming behind his breast, in the hollow pit of his chest that had been an abyss for as long as he could remember. Now, feelings were growing there, setting root and taking hold of him. Dangerous feelings.
Like the desire to touch her cheek and discover if it was as soft as her palms had been against his face.
That desire led to a thought about what might come after. If he ran his knuckles lightly across her cheek, how would she react? Would she distance herself or would she turn to him, revealing the whole of her face so her beauty would hit him hard, bewitching him all over again?
Would fire shine in her irises as she gazed up into his eyes, born not of anger but something else? Something that drummed inside him too.
Gods, this need growing inside him felt as if it was going to destroy him if he didn’t do something. Even the briefest touch would tame it. He flexed his fingers, a hunger he hadn’t felt in a long time tormenting him, daring him to do it. He wanted her. He could have her.
He couldn’t have her. She was off-limits. She was the only daughter of Hades and he had sworn to protect her and get her home safely, not seduce her. If Hades learned of what he had done, he would kill him. Hades was fiercely protective of his children, and Thanatos had the feeling his only daughter would be an exception, that Hades would destroy anyone who dared to harm his little girl.
Hell, Persephone would likely kill him before her husband could.
Calindria’s brothers would probably be waiting in line for him to resurrect so they could cut him down too.
Thanatos drew down a subtle, steadying breath, and let it leak from his lips. It was better he didn’t act on his desire. He wasn’t equipped to handle a touch from her, so how would he fare if it went any further than that? The briefest caress of her fingers on his arm had come close to felling him, but it had stirred a terrible darkness in him too, a need to push her away and lash out at her to protect himself.
He studied the terrain, wanted to groan when he realised that it was at least a week or more to the border of this realm and a point where they could teleport to the palace, ending this torment.
Thanatos wasn’t sure he would survive it, not without surrendering to this need growing inside him, or possibly dying from trying to leave it unfulfilled.
Perhaps that was a touch overdramatic, but as he gazed at Calindria, he felt sure he might die if he didn’t caress that smooth, pale skin and learned the answer to the question—how would she react?
Accept his touch or push him away?
If she accepted it, where would it end?
He really wanted to groan as he thought about where he wanted it to end.
Thanatos shut that line of thought down, before images of her beneath him, her bare body arching to meet his and pleasure rolling across her beautiful face—pleasure he had given her—could fill his mind.
He curled his hands into fists and steeled himself, resolved to resist the attraction he felt towards her.
She shattered that resolve in an instant as she glanced at him.
Her eyes collided with his and the way her pupils dilated to darken the blue of her irises filled him with a hunger to fulfil that silent request to kiss her.
&n
He shrugged it off and was quick to say, “I’m fine.”
“You look flushed.” And she looked as if she was considering lifting her hand to touch his face.
If she did, it would be game over. He would kiss her.
He cleared his throat and tamped down that urge, wrestling himself back under control.
“I’m fine.” He didn’t mean to be short with her, but his words came out brusque.
She arched an eyebrow at him and looked away from him, wrapped one arm around herself in a way that made him feel like a cold bastard. He marvelled at that. When he spoke that way with anyone else, he felt nothing, but when he was curt with her, he felt bad.
Gods, what was this female doing to him?
There was something about this petite, beautiful goddess that tied him in knots. Made him weak. He tried to shake it off, tried to push this need building inside him to the back of his mind and claw back his resolve to focus on his mission and his duties.
Only the hunger she had awakened in him refused to be tamed. It only burned more fiercely as they walked, as his damned senses locked onto her and his mind focused on how close she was to him. How sweet she smelled. How hot she had made his blood run with only a look, one that had revealed he wasn’t the only one thinking wicked things.
Thanatos scrubbed a hand down his face, barely suppressing a groan. His mood soured further with each step, the war raging inside him refusing to end, making him grouchy as he went in circles, torn between wanting her and needing to deny his desire. He hadn’t wanted a female in centuries, hadn’t had one in centuries, had taken care of his own needs since what had happened to him.
He told himself that he didn’t need a female now either.
He didn’t need her.
Her gaze falling on him had flames licking through his blood, made it thunder so hard he couldn’t breathe.
“Are you sure you are all right?” Her tone was soft, almost tender, filled with concern that aggravated him for some reason.
“I’m fine,” he snapped.
“You seem rather short-tempered all of a sudden,” she muttered and scowled at him. “Do you need to rest?”
He needed something, but he wasn’t about to tell her that, feared it would frighten her. He had no right to want her anyway.
“If I am short-tempered, it is because you will not leave me alone.” He shot her a black look, one that made him feel like a bastard again but one that was necessary to keep enough distance between them. “I do not need to rest.”
He did need to rest, knew it would go a long way towards easing his mood, but he didn’t want to do it out here, in the open. She needed to rest too. Her pace was slowing again, her sighs coming more frequently. Although, that might be his fault. He wasn’t exactly being good company for her.
He reminded himself that being good company wasn’t necessary. He was here to fulfil his mission and get her safely home. That was all.
Thanatos looked around at the valley, scouting the land and looking for a place that might work as a rest stop. The featureless valley bottom provided no cover though, and resting would expose them to whatever fell creatures were still screeching and shrieking in the distance.
He beat his wings, restless with a need to use them. “If you would let me fly you, I could get you to a safe place to rest quicker.”
She didn’t respond to that, was too busy looking longingly at her empty waterskin. He was parched too. Once he had found them a safe place to rest, he would find a clean source of water. Maybe dehydration was the reason they were being so grouchy with each other.
He ignored the voice in the back of his mind that whispered it wasn’t and that the reason they were both on edge around the other was because they both wanted something they shouldn’t. They both felt the undeniable pull towards each other, and gods, both of them knew it wouldn’t end well.
Thanatos focused on charting the valley, his gaze scanning everything, from the volcano to his right that glowed with rivers of lava, to the endless black to his left. Maybe if he could find them a place to make camp, he could use the excuse of finding water to seek a private place where he could take the edge off his mood.
Just the thought of that had him hardening in his black leathers.
He twisted slightly away from Calindria so she wouldn’t notice and paused as his gaze skipped over something that hadn’t been there a moment ago. His eyes darted back to it, his hand going to his sword, in case it was one of those creatures come to try to eat them.
It was a fell beast, but not one he had expected.
He stared across the flat field of basalt at the curvy silver-haired female clad in tight black leather.
The demigoddess.
It couldn’t be.
Rage poured through him even as his mind supplied that this was a realm of lies, that it showed them things from their past, twisting dark memories into living nightmares. It was all an illusion.
Thanatos tried to convince himself of that, but the anger that had lived within him like an eternal flame for centuries burned all reason away. The need to kill rose swiftly, filling his mind with the enticing thought of finally having his revenge by claiming the head of this bitch.
She would pay for what she had done to him, for how she had ruined his life.
He glanced at Calindria, a swift look to check she was still there before his gaze whipped back to the demigoddess, as if she were a magnet and he was powerless against her pull.
“Stay put,” Thanatos muttered.
And kicked off, spreading his wings and beating them hard.
Shooting towards the demigoddess.
Chapter 15
Thanatos’s eyes had never been so blue. Heat blazed in them as he gazed at something, and when he looked back at her, she shivered, swore that look in his eyes was born of desire. Was she finally breaking through the wall around his heart?
“Stay put,” he growled.
And then he kicked off, beating his wings hard, causing black dust to swirl into the air as he swept low across the valley floor away from her.
Calindria stared in the direction he was heading, peering into the gloom, and clenched her jaw so hard it ached as she spotted a female there—a beautiful female with long silver hair and alabaster skin, and a very feminine and curvy body encased in tight black leather trousers and a corset.
A growl pealed from her lips, her small fangs descending as she glared at the female, as she watched Thanatos closing in on her, and recalled how he had looked—how desire had shone in his eyes.
The bastard had ditched her for this female.
Shrieks sounded in the distance, closer now.
He had ditched her and left her to fend for herself, with no weapon to aid her and only powers she still had little control over to use against whatever was hunting them.
Fire blazed in her blood, anger that rolled to a rapid boil inside her as Thanatos flew into the gloom, chasing that female.
Calindria knew what he was going to do when he caught her. She wasn’t as innocent as he thought her. She wasn’t blind. Plenty of males had looked at her with desire in their eyes, and she knew of the hungers of the flesh. Thanatos had been thinking about such things and it was the reason he was moody.
He needed a female to ease his hunger.
And he had gone flying off after one.
Gods, that stung.
She wasn’t sure she had ever been rejected before, or if she had, perhaps she hadn’t cared at the time, because she was sure she would remember this pain that scoured her insides, hollowed out her chest and made her want to cry and scream in rage at the same time.
“Damn him,” she bit out and pivoted on her heel. “I will not wait here, exposed to all, while he sates himself with another.”
She clutched her waterskin and stormed in the direction they had been heading. If he returned and found her gone, it was his own damned fault. She wasn’t waiting for him. She didn’t need him. Her pace picked up, becoming a jog and then a run that made her legs ache and the soles of her feet hurt, but she wouldn’t slow. She couldn’t. The need to run built to a powerful crescendo inside her, drove her to keep going and not look back.
She kept her gaze fixed on the mountain, determined to make it there, to find a place that was safe and rest, and then she would move on.
Thanatos be damned.
As she ran, the terrain changed around her, great black brambles bursting from the ground to her left and her right, forming a twisting sharp corridor. She shrieked as a thick vine exploded from the ground beneath her, stumbled a little and fell onto her hands and knees on it as it carried her forwards faster than she could have run.
She didn’t need wings to fly after all.
She felt sick as she looked at the ground whizzing by below her, clung to the root and prayed she wouldn’t fall because the brambles were still chasing her. If she fell, she would fall into their mass of sharp thorns.
Calindria focused on trying to command the root and smiled as she managed it, convincing it to glide lower, so it was racing only a few feet above the ground. She was controlling her power. Thanatos would be so impressed when she—no, Thanatos could go to a very dark place in the Underworld and rot there, for all she cared. Her smile faded and the root burrowed into the ground, leaving her resting on her hands and knees on the dirt.
She sat up and pushed onto her feet. She didn’t need him. She squared her shoulders and carried on walking, her pace picking up again as she spotted an opening in the mountain, just a few feet from the ground. It was slender, little more than a vertical crack, but it might lead somewhere.
She hurried to it and scrambled up the side of the mountain, hauling herself over the rocks and picking her way up to the opening. It was just big enough for her to walk through without having to turn sideways. She peered into the darkness, her eyes rapidly adjusting, and breathed a sigh of relief. It opened out into a tunnel.
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