“Kylie.” My heart melted at the sound of his voice. He seemed caught off guard, and I caught a glimpse of the guy I missed so much.
“Kylie, I just remembered I needed to talk to the seamstress about some alterations to your dress for tonight. I will catch up with you later.” Cara smiled and gave me an encouraging look.
Confusion squeezed my chest. Did I want to talk to Grant? The old Grant maybe, but how long would it be until his wall returned and he grew distant again? I couldn’t take that. It was too hard to witness, but Cara had left without giving me a chance to stop her.
“How have you been?” Grant asked.
I shrugged. Like he cared. If he did, where had he been these last few days?
“Are you not speaking to me?” He stood and took a few steps closer.
I snorted. “Are you kidding me? You are the one who has gone out of your way to avoid me. You won’t talk to me. You don’t look at me. What do you expect from me? You drag me to this place then just abandon me. I don’t know anyone. Conor’s gone, my own mother barely talks to me and you were the only piece of home I had with me, but you treat me like I’m invisible. If it weren’t for Cara and Liam, I don’t know what I would have done.”
Anger stormed through me and frustrated tears threatened. Quickly, I spun giving Grant my back, not willing to let him see me cry. I took a deep breath and pulled myself together.
“Kylie, you are far from invisible to me. I see you, trust me, every part of you. Even when you aren’t right in front of me, I see you.”
I turned to him, “But– You ignored me. You–won’t look at me. You’re mean to me.” The fact I stammered like a child only made me angrier.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I thought maybe it was better if I wasn’t a part of your life. It’s so confusing. Do you know how hard this has been?”
My temper flared. “How hard? How hard this is for you? I’m the one ripped away from everything and everybody I know. I’m the one being forced into this life I don’t want.”
“Well, it didn’t seem like you were being forced into kissing Liam the other night.”
My mouth dropped. The disconnected tingling now made sense. His mouth clamped shut and he winced as if embarrassed by his outburst.
By this time, I seethed with rage. “You had choices, Grant, and you made them. Now live with them.” I glared at him.
His face fell in a defeated expression, and he looked down. Before I could I regret my harsh words, I spun on my heels and left him standing in the garden.
Chapter 21
On the verge of tears and grateful I never ran into Liam, I rushed back to my room. As soon as I slammed the door, I heard a hesitant knock. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths, then opened the door.
I relaxed seeing Cara. “Hey, come in.”
“I saw you rush by, you looked upset. I guess things didn’t go too well?”
“I don’t know. I left without giving him much of chance to speak. He actually had the nerve to say this is hard on him. I’m the one living this insane life.” I plopped down onto my bed.
Cara joined me. “While that is completely insensitive on his part, maybe it is hard on him.” I gave her an annoyed look. “Okay hear me out, think about it from his point of view. If Grant has feelings for you…”
I rolled my eyes, and she grinned. “I said if. So if he has feelings for you, imagine what it must be like for him. He has to do what’s right by you and Liam. He is Liam’s friend and maybe he cares enough about you to want you safe, no matter how much it hurts him. He has to watch you and Liam together. How would you feel if you had to watch Grant with another girl, a girl who was a very good friend of yours and you couldn’t say or do anything to stop it?”
I thought back to Grant and Cerise. I had hated seeing them together and I didn’t even like Cerise. What if it had been Lexie? What would I have done then? What could I have done? I would want my friends happy and wouldn’t want to come between that.
“Seriously, Cara, how are you always so right?” I took a deep breath. “Okay, if he likes me, this seems to add up. Of course, if he doesn’t then I think he is just a huge asshole.” She chuckled. “That’s right, I said it. Grant’s an asshole.”
“You crass humans.” Her head tilted. “Feel better?”
“I suppose.” The corner of my mouth tugged up. “Thanks, Cara.”
“Now.” She whirled and produced a gorgeous dress. She arched an eyebrow. “You like?”
I stood and admired the copper colored dress. “I love!”
“It’s for tonight’s dinner. Liam has something special planned for you two.” She paused to gauge my reaction.
“He does? What are we doing?”
“Private dining, in the garden.”
Private? What could it be about? There was a chance Liam did this to be romantic, but there was also the chance he had something to tell me...or ask me? Did this have something to do with marrying him? Cara watched me as I processed this information, obviously waiting for my response.
I inhaled then let out a long, slow breath. “The plot thickens.”
* * * *
I needed to stay busy for the next few hours until dinner. When left alone with my thoughts, I suspected I might go crazy. Maybe spending some time with Aislinn might help distract me, especially since she never brought up Liam and had no clue about my feelings for Grant.
I found her in the massive castle library, each wall composed entirely of books. It even had one of those tall rolling ladders that I secretly wanted to ride on. Aislinn lounged in a plush chair, her legs tucked under her, reading a book. When I approached her, I noticed she stared blankly at the page.
“Hey.” I walked over to her, “Do you mind if I sit down?”
She looked up her expression startled and completely off guard. “No, not at all. Please sit. I would love the company. I think I have been reading this same page for ten minutes. My mind keeps drifting off.”
“Is it a good book, at least?”
Her lips twisted in a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t even tell you. I have had so much on my mind lately.” She closed the book, laying it in her lap. “A lot of what I’m thinking about is you.” Her green eyes were dark with concern. “Kylie, are you happy?”
I didn’t know how to answer. Unsure if this was one of those be honest questions or a just smile and nod politely questions. I chewed on my bottom lip.
“I take that as a no.” She frowned slightly. “This marriage is a bad idea. I knew it would be. I was just desperate to get you home safely. I knew you were in trouble and I needed help. I didn’t expect this to be the bargain, but once Alastar laid it out, I couldn’t say no.” The conversation seemed to be getting things off her chest, more than talking to me. “I’m sorry, Kylie. I don’t know how to fix this. I have tried to think of some way out, but I just don’t know. Alastar, well is, Alastar, and he seems convinced more now than ever that you and Liam should marry.”
“Aislinn, err, Mom,” I quickly corrected, but her expression flashed wounded. “Don’t stress yourself out over it. I like Liam. He’s a good guy, and it’s not like I have to marry him right now. In fact, no one has even mentioned the marriage. I think he and I are good for now. I’m getting to know him, and we have time for everything else.”
Her flawless skin, creased with lines of worry. “That’s the thing. Liam is getting pressure from his father to do it soon. Preparations for a royal wedding take time and Alastar wants the proper steps taken, but, he wants everything set into motion now. Starting with a formal announcement of your engagement.”
My heart rate increased. “Now?” After she nodded, I asked, “What does Liam say? Is he even ready?”
“That’s a conversation you will need to have with him. I just know how his father can be. At this point, I fear it might be out of Liam’s hands.”
So much for a conversation with Aislinn to take my mind off things. �
�I guess I will talk to him. Liam once mentioned he thought his father might have ulterior motives. Do you think that’s true? He said we didn’t have to marry for my protection, that the court can protect who they choose.”
She appeared uncomfortable with my question. “That’s a complicated question to answer. Do I think there might be an ulterior motive? Yes. Do I think you can be protected without marrying? Yes. But do I think that is what is going on right now? I don’t know.”
Something about her answer made me think she knew more than she let on. Even if she had no proof, I bet she had some theories.
“Well, maybe Liam can find out.” I sat back in my chair, frustrated and wishing I hadn’t gone looking for my mother. I’d hoped to have just a pleasant conversation with her, but instead she left me with more unanswered questions.
“I’m sorry Kylie. I only wanted to help you, to protect you, but–I don’t know what I was thinking. Betrothed. Who would want that?” Her eyes were full of sorrow when she met mine. “I loved your father so much. Most Fae don’t believe we should become involved with humans, but with him something– It’s hard to explain. He was my life– Without him it meant nothing. I was filled with so much love for him, sometimes, I felt like I would just burst.”
She smiled, her eyes seemed far off. “He said I did the same for him. I don’t care if we came from two different worlds, we were soul mates. I know it in my heart.
“When we found out I was pregnant with you, I gave up everything Fae to have a family. My perfect family, but then those hateful Rite members found out about us, and just like that my dreams were crushed.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry I have failed you, Kylie. Most parents have eighteen years to screw up their kid’s life, but I managed to do it in only a few. I know, to you it’s been a long time, but for me...” She sighed. “It’s only been a few years, since I lost you...and your father.”
It occurred to me then, she still mourned his loss. A few years was not long enough to get over a true love, nor was it enough time to even grow as a person. In that moment I understood her, and the wall–I hadn’t realized I’d been holding up–came down.
“Mom, I don’t blame you for anything. In fact, I’m in awe of the tremendous sacrifices you made for me. Maybe you regret some of the decisions you made, but I’m here. I’m alive. They couldn’t have all been bad choices.”
She sniffled and smiled at me. “Who’s the child here? You are wise beyond your years, Kylie. You must have inherited that from your father.” She joked and laughed again.
“I know it’s probably hard to talk about him, since it hasn’t been very long for you, but whenever you are ready, I would love to hear about him.”
Her smile broadened. “I would absolutely love to tell you about your father. His name was James, and the most important thing you need to know about him is he loved you. He loved you more than you can ever imagine. The sun rose and set on your sweet little face. You were the light of his life, and I know he would never regret fighting for you until the end.”
My chest throbbed. It was good to hear how much he loved me, but it hurt to think he died for me.
“We can talk more later, Kylie. It’s a lot to take in for one day. I am going to see what I can find out about this marriage. I want to make things right with you, believe me I do.”
“You have done nothing wrong. I promise I hold nothing against you.” I smiled and got to my feet. “When you want to talk again, just come and find me. I’d love to hear more.”
I walked out of the room feeling in some ways like a weight had been lifted, but in other ways a sinking feeling settled over me. If my mother could survive without the love of her life, I could too. She made hard decisions to save me, and I would also have to make difficult choices. I refused to let my father die in vain. I would be sure I remained safe and protected just as he wanted, and if that meant marrying Liam, then so be it.
“Hey, where’s the fire?”
“Conor, when did you get back?”
“Not too long ago.” The corner of his mouth tugged up as he bowed, “I come bearing gifts.” He handed me an envelope.
“Lexie?” He nodded, and I gave him a giant hug. “You are the best Conor. How was she? Is she mad at me? Did she–”
“Whoa,” He cut me off, laughing. “Read the letter. I’m sure most of your questions will be answered in there. I’m heading back out later today, but just wanted to personally deliver this per Lexie’s request. If you want me to take her back anything, find me before dinner. I will be leaving after that.”
“Wait, you’re going back to Lexie?” He cocked a grin, “You and Lexie...?”
He shrugged. “She could use a friend, seeing how she is friendless, practically parentless, oh and boyfriendless.”
“Wow, you make her sound awful. Is she okay?”
“I’m kidding, Kylie. She isn’t friendless, just missing you. I’m a poor substitute, I’m sure,” he joked. “We have been spending a lot of time together and well, I guess Liam will fill you in on the rest.”
“Liam?” I raised an eyebrow, “Does everyone know about Lexie’s current situation but me?”
“Read the letter.” Conor laughed. “See you later, Kylie.” He walked off.
I don’t think I had ever seen him this happy and playful, well except around Lexie. I guess it made sense.
“Find me before I leave if you want to send a reply,” he called back as he disappeared down the hall. I tore open the letter, unable to even make it back to my room.
Kylie,
Seems someone’s keeping a few secrets. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. In fact, I now have a few of my own, but we will get to that later.
So, I hear I’m best friends with the future princess of Faery Land. Crazy! Although I am curious about you-know-who. What happened? Conor didn’t have much to offer on that front. Boys are no good when it comes to gossip.
Speaking of gossip, I hear Conor is seeing someone...I wonder who it could be?! BTW, having a boyfriend that can change into a dog when your absent parents decide to make a sudden appearance really has its benefits. Never thought I would say that. Although, my parents are curious about my new found love of animals.
Well, school’s almost out. Lucky you missed it, but I, unfortunately, am trudging my way through to the end. After graduation I am out of here! But where will I be going, who knows?? Only time will tell...
xoxo,
Your BFF Lexie
I reread the letter, still a bit dumbfounded about Lexie and Conor. Considering how well they hit it off, it shouldn’t surprise me, but I was secretly a bit jealous she got the guy she wanted. Where would she go after high school? I imagined her in college, living in a dorm with a new best friend. Going to frat parties, football games, staying up late talking in their room–it made me sad, because I wanted to be that friend.
I also wondered what Liam would have to tell me about this letter. Maybe he knew something more about her and Conor? I looked forward to dinner now more than ever.
I hurried to my room to write a reply.
Lex,
You and Conor?! Can’t wait for details on how that came about. I don’t know what you have heard from Conor, but things are crazy here.
Liam, the prince (I know!) is actually extremely nice and good-looking. I like him a lot, but of course you-know-who is still here driving me crazy. He barely even talks to me now. I don’t know what to do. I wish you were here to tell me what I should do. I miss you like crazy! I miss home, too. It’s not bad here, but well, things are just messed up right now. I hope they let me visit you soon.
XOXO–Your BFF Kylie
P.S. Did you ever think you would have a faery as a best friend and a púka as a boyfriend??
P.P.S. Isn’t your mom allergic to dogs?
I sealed the letter in an envelope and hurried off to find Conor. I found him talking to Liam in the hallway that led to the library.
“Hey!” I hurried over, br
eathless. “I’m glad I caught you. I have this for Lexie.”
“Did she gush over me?” He teased.
I rolled my eyes, “Actually, she called you a dog.”
Liam laughed and Conor shrugged. “Sounds about right.” He took my envelope and promised to get it to Lexie.
We talked for a few minutes until finally Conor said he had to leave. The time made me realize I needed to change for dinner. I told everyone bye and took a few steps before Liam caught my hand. I turned to look at him as Conor walked off.
“Hey, did Cara tell you about dinner tonight?”
“She did.” I smiled. “And Conor said something about it, too.”
“Did he now?” His mouth tugged up.
“You’re holding out on me. What do you know about Lexie?”
“Guess you will find out at dinner.”
I glared at him in mock anger. “Fine, I will find out at dinner. So...I’m pretty hungry. Interested in an early dinner?”
Liam laughed. “Sorry, dinner’s not served until seven.” Then he pulled me close until our cheeks were almost touching. “But maybe for you I can make an exception.”
The warmth of his breath on my neck caused a shiver to run down my spine. He leaned down and kissed my neck. His warm lips tickled the sensitive skin, and heat raced through my body. My reaction to his kiss surprised me. He pulled back to meet my eyes. His were full of desire and I must have worn a similar expression because his mouth covered mine. I leaned into him, and his arms encircled my waist.
This kiss was nothing like the one in the garden. My body had mixed reactions. It felt good kissing Liam, knowing this is how it should be. But, the part that could admit my true feelings for Grant, nagged at me.
Liam took a few steps forward until my back pushed against the wall. His hand slid down to my hip and urged me closer to him. My fingers tangled in his hair as his palm grazed further down to my thigh, then pushed back up taking the hem of my dress with it. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on Liam, my head filled with a pestering thought. Grant. It was wrong to be making out with one boy, while thinking of another. It felt unfaithful to both of them. Somewhat reluctantly, I pulled away.
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