by Marks, C. C.
Zeke called after me, but I didn’t turn around. I just kept going and going, not looking back to see if anyone followed. By the time I stopped to check if he’d come in after me, I couldn’t see the field any more, but I no longer cared.
My knees gave out, and I dropped to the forest floor, tears streaming down my face. I cried silent sobs, my chest heaving with each one, even as Star released a series of whimpers and wails of her own.
I should be worried about where I was. I should be trying to calm my sister, but at the moment, I just wanted to feel sorry for myself. I just wanted to wallow in my loss. I hadn’t cried when my father didn’t return, not when my cousin-turned-Draghoul scratched my mother, not even when they told me my mother died. Like a storm cloud wringing down rain, my tears fell for all I’d lost, for what I was losing now, and for what I was sure to lose in the future. Zeke wouldn’t return. The Chosen never did. Only one ever had, and he hadn’t come back the same.
How could the Council be so callous? More than ever, I lost respect for the crazy, old men who sat in their room, far below the danger, and made decisions we all had to live with forever. Why had the rest of the community agreed to such an unfair arrangement? It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense, not the running of the community, not the Choosing process, and certainly not allowing Zeke to go. Why would they send one of the few able-bodied workers they had left to a certain death?
I should volunteer to go. According to Peter, I was the least useful member of the community. It would prove that I was worthy to be here if I could make it to Mercy and back again. I’d been through the forest before, I could do it again, but I’d have to leave Star, and now that I knew what she represented to them, what they’d do to her, I couldn’t. But that meant letting Zeke go.
Other than Star, the only other person I truly cared for here was Zeke. I didn’t want to lose him. He couldn’t go. I had to persuade him any way I could. Maybe if he knew how much he meant to me, he’d stay. Could I ask that of him? Could I ask him to choose me over his father?
No, I couldn’t.
I hung my head in defeat and pressed a light kiss to the top of Star’s head. She’d finally cried herself to sleep, and though the rims of my eyes still burned, my tears had stopped, too. If I couldn’t ask him to stay, then I’d have to make sure he made it back in one piece and still human. Whether I wanted to or not, I’d have to go to the one person who’d been to the city of Mercy, walked among the monsters, and returned to the community. I’d have to talk to Victor, and I knew just where to find him.
Chapter 10
With the dedication ceremony growing ever closer, the excitement of the community buzzed while my anxiety only heightened. I hadn’t yet been able to sneak away to talk to Victor, and my time to do so was slipping away.
I’d only made it through a few more half-hearted lessons with Thomas. How could I expect to focus on something so mundane as chores or lessons when my best friend was leaving in a matter of days?
On the evening of my fifth attempt to learn how to defend myself, Thomas finally spoke up, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” I glanced at my sister playing blissfully in the corner of the room and took up my fighting stance again. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
He straightened, his shoulders snapping back as he crossed his arms in front of him. “What’s gotten into you the last couple days?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Now, get ready because I’m about to kick your...”
He took a step backwards as I rushed forward, moving out my line of attack and sending me rushing into thin air. I caught myself before face-planting into the concrete floor. From experience with these lessons, I knew how much that would hurt. Though I was getting better, my body was riddled with bruises, evidence of my slow learning curve.
“Something’s wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is or I’m leaving.”
My frustration built until I released a loud yell and threw a few punches into the empty air. Star looked up startled, but after a moment, the tension left her little body and she went back to playing. How I wished I could do the same.
“Are you kidding me? It doesn’t bother you that Zeke is walking out into the horde of monsters in a few days?”
“He volunteered. He wants to go.”
I waved my hand in the air dismissively. “We both know he’s doing this for some misplaced need to prove himself or something.”
“His father needs medicine. Zeke believes he can get it and come back to help his father.”
“Oh, and just because Quillen says it’s so, this medicine exists and will cure his father if only he can get it back to him in time? I have a hard time believing anything Quillen says now.”
“Quillen? He’s helped this community. We’ve had fewer casualties since he came. He gave us hope that there’s safety beyond our small community. As far as trust goes, I’d trust him with my life.”
“Well, I wouldn’t. I trusted him to care for my sister, and her arms are still healing from his care.”
I crossed the room and scooped Star into my arms, hugging her to me.
“It’s not like the Council is sending you. Why does it matter it’s Zeke?”
I knew what he really wanted to know. But I felt foolish for even thinking about Zeke as anything other than a friend. I certainly wasn’t ready to explain my feelings to Thomas, but his eyes bore into me, expecting an answer.
“No matter who it is, it’s just another example of the Council wielding undeserved power over people who should stand up for themselves and refuse to do the bidding of some pompous old guys who rarely step outside the safety of that room.”
“That’s not fair. They’ve taken on the leadership of this community. They are responsible for the safety and survival of the community as a whole. Hard decisions are part of the job, and they’ve had to make quite a few over the years, but it’s kept us all safe.”
“Ha! All? What about the women and girls of this community? What about the Chosen? Are they safe? Did they survive?”
He turned to the wall, leaned his forehead against its rough surface, and pounded the bottom of his fists against the hard concrete. “My father cried for days after my mother left. He refused to leave his room or eat or anything. I had to beg him to go on because I couldn’t stand living alone. Finally, he forced himself to get up and live. Not every man did. Some committed suicide. Some just walked into the forest, never to return. Was it the right decision to send all our females away? I don’t know, but I know my father has never been the same after that. It changed him.”
“You’re going to be on the Council someday. Are you sure you want that?”
His head swiveled until I could see his profile. For just a moment, his face seemed handsome with its chiseled planes, tension tightening his jaw into even stronger geometric lines and highlighting the strength of his character. It wouldn’t be hard to fall for Thomas.
“I know what it means to be on the Council. The decisions I’ll have to make will be challenging, even heartbreaking at times. Only an idiot would ever ask to be on the Council, but I don’t have a choice. Whose hands would I put the responsibility into? Zeke’s? The impulsive prankster? Peter’s? He’s everything you claim the members of the Council to be. Any number of the mindless drones who leave the hard decisions up to others? There’s no one else.” His gaze landed on Star. “If I’m in charge, I can protect her…and you. I can make things right, instead of this convoluted mess we exist in now.”
My anger deflated. He’d really thought it through. The future was bleak, but it was his hope that pushed him to step up and become a leader. The weight of responsibility on his shoulders must be heavy indeed.
I thought of that night in the tower. Would anyone else have made the shot? Zeke might have. Yet, Thomas knew at the time it was a horrid choice and the right one to make. Of all the members of the community, he would be the wisest, most decisive leader.
“
Then you have to help everyone leave here.”
His body jerked around, and his wide-eyed gaze skewered me, like I’d just said to kill everyone. Maybe I had.
“Where would we go?”
“To Mercy. They would take us in and help us. Everyone should go this time.”
“And what about the sick ones? What about Zeke’s father? Just leave him? Who would trip the shockwall? He’d be devoured within minutes after the sun went down. Do you think Star wouldn’t slow you down? Could you leave her?”
My head jerked back as if he’d slapped me. “Of course not. We can’t leave them.” I looked at the ceiling, trying to think things through. “Maybe we could send a small group to the city, and they could bring people back to transport the sick. I don’t know how we could do it exactly, but, Thomas, we can’t stay here. Here, we’re just putting off the unavoidable. We can’t go on like this. Even you as a leader can’t keep us from the inevitable. Either we’ll die when the supplies of food and ammunition dwindle to nothing or we’ll die by a bite or scratch from a Draghoul. Any way you look at it, we’re going to die here and soon. There’s no other alternative, nothing to keep us going. You can protect Star and me all you want, but all the protection in the world will be worthless when the community shrinks until there’s no one left to protect.”
“No, for now we stay. Too many lives would be lost along the way. Someone will come for us soon, or we’ll outlast the Draghoul. We’ll be okay.”
Star grabbed my lip in her small grasp, and I kissed it lightly before pulling it free. Not for the first time I thought growing up in this world was incredibly unfair to her. Though it’s all she’d know, she wouldn’t have the same carefree early memories as I. She deserved a different life. We all did, but we wouldn’t get anything better by staying here, listening to the ideas of the current Council members…or the future ones.
“I’m humbled you’ll take on Council leadership in order to protect my sister and me, but I can’t promise we’ll always be here for you to protect. The more I learn about this community, the more I question if it’s safe here at all.”
He stepped forward, leaving only inches between us. He reached out his arms and pulled Star and me into his chest. I allowed myself to sink into the warmth of his embrace for a moment.
“I’ll keep you safe. Trust me.”
I fought the urge to slam my fist against his solid chest because he’d just pinpointed the problem for me. In a world where life and death came down to hard decisions made by others, I couldn’t afford to trust anyone anymore. It was time to take charge and make some tough choices of my own.
Chapter 11
Dad came home bloodied and tense tonight. Mom told me to take Vic and go somewhere around the building, but I refused. What’s she going to do? Feed me to the Draghoul? Too late. The Council beat her to it.
He said the men came to blows over the Council’s decision to send all the females of the community outside the wall at tomorrow’s October dawning. They say it should be plenty of time for us to make it to the city of Mercy, but some must doubt that’s possible, and they used fists to prove it.
My dad said he fought to keep us here, but the Council guard was armed and weren’t afraid to use their weapons. Three men were stabbed and two were shot. Shot? I can’t believe the Council’s gone this far. So many of them are going to lose their wives and daughters, but they don’t seem to care.
They say, “If you can’t live with this decision, you can go with them.” But then they turn around and threaten to shoot any man who walks through the gate with his family, and as if that wasn’t enough, they threatened to take out the man’s family also. It seems so appallingly barbaric. Apparently, they need all the able-bodied men here to maintain the lifestyle that keeps them fat and fed in their protected rooms below. After tonight, I believe it when they say they will shoot any man, just to set an example.
Everyone’s been so clingy the last few days, as the reality of the situation sinks in and the time to say goodbye grows ever closer. My dad especially has been around more than usual. He hasn’t been to the field in days. I’m not sure anyone has, but the Council seems to be turning a blind eye to that broken rule. Maybe they’re not entirely heartless. No, it’s clear, they have no hearts.
Just yesterday, in tears, my dad pulled me aside, hugged me to him, and said, “Cassie, I promise, I’ll see you again. Just do everything you can to get your mother and you to the city of Mercy. Your brother and I will be right behind you.” I hope he doesn’t try to follow us. I don’t want him to be the Council’s example.
I closed the journal, stunned. Thomas revealed the fate of the females of the community, but as I read an account of this girl so much like me, on the eve of the expulsion, incredulity washed over me. Inhumane didn’t even begin to describe it. How could any living being treat another such and live with himself afterward? My revulsion for the Council suffused my every skin cell. Their power had clearly raged out of control then and continued even now.
After checking that no one else was around, I slipped the book behind the cabinet and turned toward the stairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I caught movement at the top of the steps, but when I walked over, no one was there. I figured I was probably just growing paranoid the more I discovered about the community. This was not a place with a happy history, and in the frigid aftermath was growing even more treacherous. Unless something drastic happened, Zeke would leave tomorrow.
Since my confrontation with Thomas, I hadn’t returned for any more lessons. I didn’t think it was a beneficial use of my time anymore. Instead, I’d spent as much time with Zeke as I could. We worked during the day, and I watched as he trained each evening. This evening, he was in a private session with the Council, so I chanced an opportunity to read more from the journal. What I read tonight confirmed Thomas’s account of the fight that occurred before the women and girls were forced out. I hadn’t known the Council threatened the men if they tried to leave, too. It explained why so many men stayed behind, no doubt fighting the screaming instinct to save the ones they loved.
Normally at this time, I headed toward the laundry room, but I’d traded the chore for once and convinced Michael Garrett, a younger boy Zeke and I regularly hung out with, to keep Star with him while he completed the job in my place. I’d had to wash dishes after dinner, but it was a quicker chore than laundry, and I needed some extra time tonight to execute my plan. I’d try one more time to talk Zeke out of going. If, as I thought he probably would, he chose to go anyway, I had a small interval right now to gather information from Victor, and I refused to waste it. I just hoped Victor was lucid enough to share something Zeke could use.
My legs were a little wobbly as I made my way down the stairs. If I went to Victor’s room and he wasn’t there or refused to help me, I didn’t have a Plan B or anything, other than hoping with all my might Zeke might actually live through it all. If anyone could, Zeke could. No matter how well you prettied the situation up though, history was a difficult thing with which to argue, and history showed the odds against his survival.
I passed the guards outside the Council room, and though they gave me a nod, they didn’t pay me any real attention, even when I turned down the dark corridor at the end of the hallway instead of going my conventional direction. I slipped through the turns I remembered, and only faltered once, getting lost briefly as I listened to the foreign creaks and bangs of the building settling in the silence of the darkness around me. I backtracked and with relief, found the lamplight spilling into the hallway just like before.
I tiptoed to the doorway and peeked inside. Unlike before, the room had an occupant. Victor sat on the bed, his head in his hands, sobs wracking his torso. I had a moment’s hesitation when I almost eased back into the shadows, leaving him to his grief, but I was here for a cause that transcended my discomfort. I had to save Zeke, and Victor had the answers I needed.
Not sure how to get his attention without causing more distr
ess and perhaps setting him off into one of his rants, I stepped through the door and knocked on it lightly. His head whipped around at the soft sound, and his red-rimmed eyes widened, shock or possibly anger, etched on his craggy features.
The silence in the room grew awkward, but still I waited for him to acknowledge me, to ask me inside all the way. Finally, he rose from the bed and walked around it, stopping just a few feet away from me. A small part of me still wanted to back out and melt into the darkness of the halls. Whether it was his unpredictable moods or the fact he no longer held his words in check like the rest of us, he had an intimidation factor, no doubt about it.
Unable to stand the thick air between us any longer, I dropped my gaze to the floor and asked, “Can I come in and talk?”
“Sure. Sit on the bed.”
He slipped across the room and sat in a wooden chair, clearly too small for his large frame. Obviously made for a child, he wasn’t fazed by the size and sat, grasping the sides, his eyes still rounded like the moon I got occasional glimpses of at dawn.
I stepped inside and stood beside the bed, not daring to sit, just in case I needed to leave quickly. The room was even more destroyed than the last time I was here. The contents of the chest, which was now completely overturned, were scattered around the room even more, like they’d been torn through in haste, the items tossed here and there.
He must have noticed me gawking at the mess around the room. He explained, “As you can imagine, I don’t get many guests down here. I don’t usually have to clean up for anyone.”
I laughed nervously and nodded. His sanity was currently intact, if his humor were any indication. “I guess you want to know why I’m here then, huh?”
He shrugged. “Every year before the Chosen leaves, he usually searches me out, wants to know how I did it.”
“Has Zeke been here already?” If so, there was no reason for me to rehash the same information.