I suddenly felt my body relax and felt myself at ease.
"There is, however, a little change of plans," he continued.
I couldn't imagine what he was about to say.
"A few days ago I called in sick because I caught a case of the flu. I am almost better now, but because of the way the schedule is managed, they changed around my shifts for the rest of the month."
"Why would they do that," I asked, fearing the affect it might have on our plans.
"Well, as soon as anyone calls in sick, because they cannot predict when that person will return, they replace them on the schedule for the rest of the month, and ultimately that person has to fill in as a standby attendant. So, now that they have taken me off all of my scheduled flights, the five consecutive days that I originally had off is no longer part of the schedule. In other words, on all of those days, I am now scheduled on standby. Do you understand so far?" he asked, trying to break the news to me gently.
"Yes," I replied, feeling the loss, almost more than I could bear.
"They have already scheduled me for a standby shift but it is not for another three days," he explained. "So, since I really don't know when I will get a schedule with another big block of time off, I thought I would just come anyway, even though it is only for two days," he finally said, surprising me, yet a question hung in his voice as he looked for my confirmation.
"Yes, yes, come, I can't wait," I screamed, suddenly feeling happier and rejuvenated. "I'll be waiting here for you tomorrow," I added.
As I witnessed my own reaction, something had become very clear to me. The emotional roller-coaster that he was about to take me on, had more or less begun.
He arrived the next day, in the middle of the day, and he met me in front of my office. I had decided to leave early in order to be with him as I did not want to waste a moment.
His tan colored skin had faded somewhat but his masculinity had not diminished. He was a striking creature who was virile and strong and he emanated a sense of vitality. His rugged square chin and his breathtaking smile made me gasp as I kissed him hello. My body began to burn with desire as I smelled his scent while it lingered. But more than that, I had a true appreciation for his interests and passions and the way he shared them with me. There was so much about him. Even his clothing. I recognized his jacket, as well as his shoes, but was impressed once again by how the simple clothes that he wore, flattered him.
"Hi," he said. "You look great," he added, as he took me into his arms and hugged me.
I purposely wore a short black dress to highlight my shape and legs. I wore lusty white pearls which hung low from my neck and white pearl earrings to match. With black tights and heels, the outfit was complete and I had achieved the look I had strived for. He had never seen me in clothes that were dressy, and not knowing where the future would take us, I wanted to make sure he did.
"Listen, I know that you must be jet lagged, so we can go straight back to my apartment if you wish," I offered, partly thinking of him, but also realizing that it would give us the immediate privacy that I desired.
"No, I'm all right, I was actually hoping that I could do some shopping and pick up some things for a friend," he said, very matter of factly.
"Oh, OK, if that's what you'd like to do," I replied, again, burying my surprise. "We can do that," I continued, assuming that he wanted me to join him. "I've made some plans for us tonight at 9 p.m., so as long as you don't need any time to rest before we go, then I guess, we can do it all," I explained.
All but have time alone, I thought. What is it that turns him on and off, I wondered. I don't understand it, really! Sometimes he seemed as if he was on another planet and at other times, he was almost inside of me. I debated whether to talk to him about it, yet I feared the facts I might uncover.
As I struggled desperately with my conflicting thoughts, Tristan asked me casually, and in his British tone, "Do you have a GAP nearby?"
Although I was still perturbed at his choice to go shopping, for a friend no less, rather than to satisfy, what I thought had been a sense of urgency toward me, the notion of this European man asking for a GAP, somehow struck me as humorous. Maybe I just needed to laugh.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is one, right near my apartment," I declared, chuckling, suddenly feeling stronger as I decided that I too, had a right to influence the direction of the afternoon.
"Oh good," he responded easily, and we headed uptown together.
By the time we had reached my apartment, we had eased into our old ways again and were giggling, incessantly, like two little grammar school children.
"Come over here Miss, I have something I'd like to tell you," he said with a devilish grin, motioning me with his finger to join him on the couch.
"No, not right now, I have some chores to do before we get ready, so I'll be with you in about twenty minutes," I responded, provoking him and playing a little hard to get.
"Chores!" he exclaimed. "This entire apartment shouldn't take more than five minutes or so, it's not exactly the Grand Palace! It's now or never!" he threatened playfully.
That was the Tristan that I knew. The Tristan that I liked. The Tristan that had an aura about him that touched me deeply to the core. But suddenly, he relented and did not push me further.
As I glanced across the room at him, I noticed that the muscles in his face looked strained. He pretended to smile, but despite his facade, I sensed that there was a heaviness about him. There was something inside him that tugged at him deeply. I had interpreted his coercing as flirtatious behavior and assumed it would have resulted in intimacy. But as I sat down next to him, his eyes told me that I had been wrong.
"What is it?" I finally had the nerve to ask, since he had opened the lines of communication.
"But I thought that you had chores to do," he teased, suddenly looking less tense.
"Oh, but I'm a very fast worker. I'm already done," I replied, playing his little game in order to make myself available to him and hear what was on his mind.
"Oh, too bad, you lost your chance," he said playfully. "Maybe another time."
But I knew what had really been lost in truth, was his courage to reveal himself at that moment. He managed to switch gears with refined expertise, pretending that his response had been planned. He tried to make me believe that it was a missed opportunity for intimacy and fun. But I knew definitively that he had almost shared his secret but had lost his nerve to do it. Had I just walked over to him when he had asked me to, I believe he was prepared to expose himself. But my slight hesitation gave him just enough time to think about his vulnerability. I berated myself for not detecting his clues or reading between the lines. He needed to tell me whatever it was, and I desperately wanted to know. But I couldn't push him, it was obvious to me, and I would give him the time he needed.
"Another time is fine," I said indifferently, "I'm not in the mood anyway," then I smiled at him, flirtatiously, letting him know that I was.
"Tris, I'm going to jump in the shower because we have to leave in an hour. Are you going to shower too?' I asked him.
"No, I showered before I met you today and I think at the moment I'm still clean," he said smirking at me.
"OK, I'll be out in a few minutes, make yourself at home and there's a beer in the refrigerator if you want one," I said to him. "Great," he said. "By the way, where exactly are we going tonight? You tried to explain it over the phone yesterday but I didn't quite understand it. People sing, we watch, but then we dance in the aisles?" he inquired in a confused but interested sort of way.
"Yeah, that sounds about right" I replied as I laughed, not knowing how to describe a unique musical revue more explicitly. "Being as inquisitive as you are, I know this will be tough for you, but please just trust me on this one. I promise, you will love it. The music is great and very upbeat. It is a show but we do dance as well. I really don't know how to explain it" I confessed, as we both laughed at my frustration. It had become my favorite place
in the entire city and I wanted to share it with him. It was a special place, magical in a way, because it left you light hearted and happy. "We'll also be meeting a bunch of my friends so please be on your best behavior and try not to embarrass me too much," I said jokingly. "But don't worry," I added, "I haven't forgotten that for you it's late so we'll only stay for a while, or until I find you fast asleep on the table," I said, as we both laughed again. It was already 7:30 p.m. in the evening, so for him it was 1:30 a.m. "Anyway, let me get into the shower before we start running late,, I said, happy that the air between us felt light again, despite the occurrence from earlier.
"You look really good," he said to me after I emerged from the shower completely dressed and ready.
"Thanks", I responded, satisfied that he thought so after hoping that he would.
"You look, well, I'm not sure that "elegant" is the correct word in English, but you look sophisticated even though you are still dressed casually," he said, almost intrigued with the style of my clothing.
I wore black fitted pants that were tapered to the ankle and a scooped neck body suit of the same black. The loose fitted vest hung open in the front and was stylishly cropped at the waist. It was sexy but tasteful and I was happy that he appreciated the look.
"Would you like a beer before we go, we still have a little time," I asked.
"That would be great," he agreed. "I was actually waiting for you to have one together and held out from having one earlier."
We sat together, comfortably, on what had now become our regular places on the couch. As I stared at Tristan, a feeling of need washed over me, and without even giving it a second thought, I pulled him toward me seeking his mouth, wanting it to touch my own. He responded to me willingly as his body climbed onto mine. Within seconds, we had fallen from the couch to the teal covered carpet. This time he did not hesitate, as he began to unpeel my layers. I felt his flesh as he touched my breasts and the warmth of his mouth upon them. It seemed so natural, and for once, I set my mind free of all my thoughts and focused on enjoying the moment. I lifted his shirt to expose his chest then took it over his head. Our bare chests melded and generated warmth as they rubbed together with passion. I heard him groan with ecstasy and my own sounds indicated that his sensual touch was fulfilling my needs as well. It was then that I realized I embraced anything he did because I had truly fallen in love.
"Tris, look at the time," I exclaimed in a little panic, but laughed in spite of it, feeling delightedly naughty. We were supposed to be there five minutes ago and it takes fifteen minutes to get there. To be continued...," I said mischievously, wanting to set the stage for later.
"OK, I'm ready", he said, as he quickly put his shirt back on. We were out the door only minutes later and jumped into a cab downtown.
"Tris, these are my friends," as I introduced him to them, then we were asked to be seated right away.
The show started immediately and our attention was drawn to the stage. There was a wonderful, funny, and animated comedian that did a pre-show before the musical performance.
"Do you understand the jokes?" I whispered to him, concerned that the English contained a lot of slang.
"Of course I do," he said with teasing sarcasm. "Otherwise I wouldn't be laughing." We both laughed together at his response to me and continued to watch the show.
As the evening progressed we all felt the music, but I felt distant from Tristan again. He was part of the energy and was enjoying the show but was not connected to me. Given our interaction before the show I thought I might feel his emotion. Maybe even his touch. Something that showed me he cared. But I sat restrained in confusion again and did not so much as brush up against him.
But the band that played got us all up dancing and the music was sexy and electrifying. It was the kind that made you want to move your body, seductively and without inhibition. I was dancing with my friends when he decided to join me, and when I saw him dance, I melted. I looked at my friend who rolled her eyes at me, letting me know that she saw what I did. She knew that for me, the way that he moved, would make me yearn him more.
"This place is unbelievable," he said, "I would not have been able to describe it either," he continued, shouting over the music while he danced.
And then, as I watched his hips move gracefully, he began to dance with me, as one. Our bodies were in sync, moving together, and I felt his energy toward me return. He put his arms around me, and almost predictably, my level of enthusiasm returned too.
We danced and danced until 3 a.m. and our bodies were drenched with sweat.
"So, what did you think?" I later asked Tristan, knowing from his smile what he thought.
"It was truly amazing! The music was wonderful and the band had so much energy that you couldn't dislike them if you wanted to. I really don't think there is any place in Germany that resembles anything like this," he said.
His last line made me laugh. The way he said it, it sounded like the kind of place that nobody would want to go to. But I knew what he meant. It was a very unique place that made you feel alive and we all had a great time.
"So Tristan, you seem to be holding up pretty well for someone who has jet lag," one of my girlfriends said to him teasingly.
"Well actually, the time for me is 9 a.m. and I'm ready to start my day," he replied cleverly, making us all laugh.
"I don't know about you Mr. Engler, but I am going home to sleep," I said happily. "But if you would like to stay out with my friends, please do, and I will see you tomorrow," I added, knowing he would get the hint.
"On second thought," he recounted. "My eyes are feeling a little heavy...," he said, as my friends laughed some more and seemed to like him.
We spoke a while longer, as I wanted my friends to know him, but more importantly, I wanted to see how he fit in. Tristan appeared comfortable and handled himself well despite his jet lag. His demeanor was confident yet easy and fun, and I was proud to show him off to my close friends.
Four of us jumped into a cab uptown, and the others went out for some coffee. We all chatted aimlessly on the ride back home, and as we did, I began to anticipate the remainder of the night. It was late and I knew it, but knowing that Tristan and I would be sleeping under the same roof, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I wasn't sure what he expected. Or for that matter, what he didn't. I only hoped that whatever expectations either of us had, they were the same and no one would get hurt.
"Would you mind if I take a quick shower? I don't feel quite as clean as I did earlier," Tristan said to me as he smiled.
"No, please do," I said, in a suggestive but ribbing tone. "And I think I'll take one right after you."
With the little bit of strength that we both had left, we laughed out of embarrassment, as we admitted and acknowledged that we were covered with sweat. As I heard the sound of the shower, it dawned on me, suddenly, that we had come a long way since Indonesia. I thought back to the little engined boat that had taken us to the island of Menjangan. When Tristan had only his bathing suit on and I could not look at his bare chest. But now it was different. There were no promises to keep, no guilt to bear and I looked forward to exploring together.
"How was the shower?" I asked him casually, trying to avert my eyes from his body.
He stood in his underwear, European style, which were brief and exposed his long legs. It was because he was so tall that his tiny undergarment seemed even more minimal on him, and made him appear almost naked.
"It was great! You are going to feel so much better when you get out," he said, looking refreshed and clean.
I looked at him again and couldn't believe how confident he was to parade around almost nude. But he did, without question, have an extraordinary body. Although he was lean, he had a powerful frame and his muscles appeared almost sculpted. He had broad manly shoulders yet a small firm waist which created a nice big V in his shape. His chest however, was not particularly developed but overall, I delighted in his look. When I entered the shower I wonder
ed for a moment what I should wear when I got out.
"How was it?" he asked me, as I came out, dressed in a set of long and nice, but not particularly suggestive pajamas.
There was no need to overdo it, I knew him already, and what I wore made me feel relaxed.
"It was great! Now I know how you felt. Not only do I feel clean, but I also feel like it relieved my sore muscles from dancing so hard tonight," I admitted.
"Yes, I know exactly what you mean," he said laughing as if we were both a hundred years old.
He was still sitting in his underwear but he had since moved onto the couch. If he had been an American man I might have thought it was presumptuous. But he wasn't American and therefore I wasn't offended by it. Over the years I had found that most European men were not shy about walking around in their briefs. Even friends, those that were male, had changed their clothes in front of me. But more than that, being a guest in my apartment, Tristan's options had been limited. If he had gotten into my bed before I had, it somehow would have been inappropriate. And I knew that to put back on his sweaty old jeans was not an appealing thought. Anyway, I hadn't felt threatened or intimidated. It was enticing, but comfortable, and no matter what, I felt like we were friends.
With a grin on his face and trying to be coy, he asked, "OK, which side do I sleep on?"
"Well Sir, what makes you think that you're sleeping in the bed?" I challenged him, jokingly, and I pointed to one side of the bed.
We turned off the lights as we got into bed, and it was then that we saw a flickering. It was a soft orange glow in the room that surrounded us, from the candle that we had left burning.
Not a moment was wasted before his lips touched mine and I relaxed as my uncertainty disappeared. We became lost to each other as our bodies were entwined and I savored the moments I had waited for. The powerful feeling of his arms around me captivated me and I could think of nothing else but him. He did not speak but his embrace spoke clearly, communicating words of its own. We were finally together, still not knowing where the future would lead but we would relish in the opportunity to express ourselves.
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