by D. Camille
Carolyn looked surprised. “Kenya?”
Lily nodded. “Yes, I lived there for a year after college.”
“How wonderful,” Carolyn commented.
“Jordan is my best man,” Sean informed her and Carolyn looked at her son.
“I would not have expected anything different. You and Jordan have been together for a long time.”
“I just wanted to make sure you knew that before you come to the wedding.”
Carolyn laughed. “I promise I will not make a scene at your wedding Sean.”
“We want you to have a good time,” Lily offered.
Carolyn took Lily's hand. “You make my son happy. I see a peace inside of him that I haven't seen in a long time.”
“I won't do anything to embarrass either of you,” Carolyn promised.
Carolyn enjoyed the visit with Sean and Lily and looked forward to the next time Sean would return with Trent. She'd never had the opportunity to sit down and talk to him. She wanted him to know that she wasn't just some crazy woman who had given him up without a second thought.
Carolyn had never thought she'd be the type of woman who would walk away from her child, but when she'd gotten involved with Justin Black, she became a woman who did a lot of things she thought she'd never do.
Like leaving her son on his birthday...
Sean turned fourteen while his father was still in the hospital. He'd refused to have a party and instead settled on having Izzy and Jordan over to the house. Izzy had arrived with a batch of cupcakes she had baked and Carolyn had allowed her to take them up to Sean's room.
Sean looked up after Izzy knocked lightly on his door.
“Izzy?” he smiled.
She came inside and sat the pan on his bed. “Happy Birthday Sean.”
“Thanks Izzy.”
She glanced around his nearly empty room. “What happened to all of your stuff?”
“Don't ask,” he said solemnly.
“We're all praying for your father,” she said softly taking a seat next to him on the bed.
Sean looked over at her. “Thanks.”
Izzy took his hand. “I made you cupcakes.”
Sean looked over at the pan. “I'd better eat them before Jordan comes.”
“Yeah, he does seem to like them.” Izzy smiled.
“You always make them for him,” Sean pointed out.
Izzy smiled removing her hand. “He always asks me to.”
Sean reached for one of the cupcakes and took a bite.
“They are very good.”
Izzy stared at him. “Are you going to be okay Sean?” she asked sweetly.
Sean shrugged. “My Daddy told me to be strong for my mother.”
“Jordan and I are here for you. You know that right?”
“Yeah, I know Izzy. Thanks.” Izzy put her arm around him and hugged him.
They both heard the doorbell ring.
Downstairs Carolyn opened the door for Jordan. He had a gift in one hand and a card in another.
“Hi Jordan.”
“Hi Mrs. Jackson, my Daddy said to give this to you. I think it's a gift for Sean or something,” he said handing her the card.
Carolyn blushed. “Thank you Jordan. Izzy and Sean are already upstairs. We'll have cake and ice cream soon.”
Jordan smiled. “Okay. Thanks Mrs. Jackson.” He took off upstairs.
Carolyn opened the note and read:
It's your son's birthday, but I have a present for you. Come and get it.
She smiled to herself thinking of what Justin possibly had in store for her. She called up the stairs, “Sean, I'll be back. I need to run out for a minute.”
Sean came to the top of the stairs.
“Where are you going Ma?”
“Uh...I just need to pick up some stuff for your dinner. I'll be back soon okay?”
Sean looked at her. “Okay. You're coming right back, right?”
Carolyn nodded. “Yes. Right back as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” He turned and went back to his room.
Carolyn felt a twinge of guilt leaving her son, but she planned to be quick. She'd get back and serve the kids dinner along with ice cream and cake. That had been her plan but Justin had another plan altogether.
He opened his door dressed in black pajama bottoms and a wicked smile on his face. He pulled her inside and pressed her back against the door lifting her arms into the air kissing the breathe out of her.
“I’m going to put my name all over this,” he told her before wrapping her legs around his back to carry her upstairs to his bedroom. She held on in anticipation as he climbed the staircase.
Carolyn noticed the room was darkened as he dropped her onto the bed. Justin reached for her pants quickly disposing of them along with her panties. Her blouse and bra was quick work as well before he stood staring down at her.
“Raise your arms above your head,” he commanded and she readily obliged.
His dark gaze slid down her naked body before pushing her legs apart touching her intimately.
“It’s calling me…,” he said staring at her exposed core. “Tell me what it’s saying.”
She stared up at him. “It’s saying it wants you.”
“What does it want me to do?” he asked removing his pajama bottoms.
She watched breathlessly as he climbed over her fitting himself into the waiting cradle of her body.
“Does it want me to tear it up?” he whispered.
Carolyn smiled. Xavier had never spoken to her this way when making love. Her body responded to the excitement and Justin felt her response.
“Oh yeah…it wants me to tear it up.” He eased inside further causing her to moan and close her eyes.
“Tell me what it’s saying,” he commanded again.
She held him closer. “Ahhhh…it’s saying tear it up.”
“What’s my name?” he demanded riding her.
Carolyn was headed towards a frenzy from his powerful strokes.
“Justin!” she screamed.
He paused. “Justin what?” He pinned her with that dark gaze.
She smiled at him. “Justin Black.”
“You know it.” He looked down at her. "Now turn over."
Justin kept Carolyn at his house for hours doing even more things she had never imagined. When she'd returned the kids were in the kitchen eating cake and ice cream. Carolyn had rushed into the kitchen.
“I'm sorry Sean,” she said scrambling around the kitchen trying to get dinner warmed up.
Sean didn't look at her. “It's fine Ma. It's getting late and Izzy and Jordan have to go home.”
She turned to them. “But you all didn't eat dinner.”
“We ordered pizza,” he told her.
Jordan and Izzy were watching her.
“I'm so sorry. I just lost track of time,” she apologized again.
Sean turned to his friends. “Thanks for coming.”
“Jordan and I will walk you home Izzy,” Sean told her.
“Okay,” Izzy answered still looking at Carolyn.
Jordan led the way and the three of them walked out to the door.
Sean returned and Carolyn was cleaning the kitchen. She looked up and saw him in the doorway.
“Sean...”
Sean looked at her confused. “Where did you go Ma?”
Carolyn swallowed. “I went to get some things for dinner.”
“But you didn't come back with anything,” he pointed out.
“Uh, I couldn't find what I was looking for,” she lied.
“If you didn't want to be with me on my birthday, I could have stayed at the hospital with Daddy.” He turned and left the room.
Carolyn dropped into a chair after watching him leave. If she didn't stop this, she was going to lose her son. Justin Black wasn't worth that, but she'd have to find that out the hard way.
Chapter 5
Dr. Williams watched as Carolyn entered the room. Over the past months, he'd begun
to see changes in her demeanor, although in his professional opinion she still had a little way to go. She quietly took the seat across from him.
“How are you today Carolyn?” he asked.
Carolyn shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”
Dr. Williams adjusted his glasses. “Is there anything in particular that you would like to discuss today?”
Carolyn looked at him. “Not really.”
“Okay. Why don't you tell me more about the guilt you spoke of regarding your affair with Justin Black?”
Carolyn looked away. “I knew that Justin was no good, but I never suspected just how bad he really was.”
“He hurt you,” Dr. Williams voiced.
“Yes. I didn't realize how wonderful my husband had been until Justin showed me how terrible a man could be.”
Dr. Williams watched her. “Would you like to explain what you mean?”
I had dropped Sean off at the hospital to see his father and decided to go to Justin's house...
Carolyn waited at the front door of the Black home. She'd rung the bell and no one had answered. She knew that Justin was working from home today so she waited. A few minutes later Justin opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of dark dress slacks. Carolyn looked at him suspiciously.
“What are you doing here Carolyn?” he asked.
“I wanted to see you,” she answered watching him.
Justin shrugged and opened the door allowing her inside. Carolyn entered and turned to him.
“Were you sleeping?” she asked looking at his crumpled appearance.
He gave her that wicked grin. “No. Not sleeping.”
“Who's at the door Justin?” the female voice called from upstairs.
Carolyn turned at the sound and watched Justin's ex-wife, Joanna, arrive at the top of the stairs wearing nothing but a man's shirt. Both women stared at each other before Carolyn turned to Justin.
“What's going on here?” she asked him.
Justin leaned against the door. “Apparently like you, Joanna can't get enough of me either.”
He looked up at Joanna. “Isn't that right darling?” he said sarcastically.
Joanna started down the stairs and when she reached the bottom she looked at Carolyn.
“Carolyn?” Joanna snapped. “What the hell are you doing?”
Carolyn's eyes narrowed. “What am I doing? What are you doing?”
“You're a married woman!” Joanna yelled.
“So are you!” Carolyn yelled back.
“And I'm tired as hell, so both of you need to leave,” Justin told them.
They both turned to him.
“Are you really this much of a bastard?” Joanna asked.
“You should know Joanna,” he answered her.
Joanna took a deep breath. “You led me to believe we could work this out Justin.”
“Work out what Joanna? You think I'd actually take you back after what you did to me?”
Joanna looked shocked. “So what was this Justin?” she demanded.
Justin shrugged. “You were always good in bed Joanna. I'll never turn that down.”
Joanna turned and ran back up the stairs and Justin turned to Carolyn.
“Why Justin? Why would you do this?” she demanded.
Justin walked away from the door. “I didn't force either of you to do anything you didn't want.”
“Women like you two are so easy to manipulate, so concerned about the money.”
“So you just used me?” she asked.
He turned to her. “I didn't use you Carolyn. You enjoyed every minute of it. Both of you did.”
Carolyn fumed. “You are such a bastard!”
Justin looked confused. “You're just now figuring that out?”
“Stay away from me! Do you hear me! I don't ever want to see your face again!” Carolyn yelled.
Justin shrugged. “You know where to find me Carolyn. You'll be back,” he winked at her and walked away.
Carolyn threw open the door and ran back to her house. She arrived and rushed into the bathroom and threw up everything she had inside. She sat on the bathroom floor in tears with her head back against the wall. In the distance she could hear the phone ringing. A half hour later she pulled herself up and washed her face. She exited the bathroom and headed for the kitchen when the phone rang again. Walking over she picked it up.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Daddy's gone,” Sean's voice barely whispered.
Carolyn shook her head. “Sean?”
Silence.
“Sean? What did you say?” she asked shakily.
“Mrs. Jackson?” a woman's voice came on the line.
“Yyy...yes,” she managed.
“I'm sorry to tell you that your husband passed away an hour ago. Your son has been trying to contact you. Can you come to the hospital?”
Carolyn froze as the tears ran unchecked down her face.
“Mrs. Jackson?”
Carolyn dropped to the floor out cold.
Later when she awakened, she heard Sean's voice.
“Thank you Mr. Black for picking me up from the hospital and helping my Momma.”
“If you need anything Sean, please let me know,” Justin told the boy.
“Daddy, can I stay with Sean?” Jordan asked.
“You can see Sean later Jordan. He and his mother need time alone,” Justin told his son.
“I'll call you Jordan,” Sean said to him.
Carolyn heard them all move towards the door and then the opening and closing of it. She opened her eyes as Sean walked back over to the sofa where Justin had placed her after they had found her still passed out on the floor.
“Are you alright?” he asked looking down at her.
“I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there,” she said staring into his sad brown eyes.
Sean looked at her. “I'm going to my room,” he announced.
Carolyn sat up and the room spun around her. “Sean...wait baby. Talk to me.”
“There's nothing to say,” he said softly. “My Daddy's gone.”
She grabbed his hand. “What do you need me to do?”
Sean pulled his hand away. “He said to tell you he loved you.” She watched as he walked out of the room.
*********
Dr. Williams watched Carolyn closely as she lowered her head.
“I'm a terrible person. A terrible mother,” she said twisting her hands.
“You may have done things that you now understand were wrong, but that doesn't make you a terrible person Carolyn,” Dr. Williams said gently.
“I wasn't with my son while he watched his father die...because I was with a man who cared nothing about me.”
“Did you go back to Justin?” Dr. Williams asked.
Carolyn nodded. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I found out I was pregnant.” Carolyn looked up at him. “I didn't know what else to do.”
Dr. Williams nodded. “What happened then?”
Carolyn took a deep breath. “Justin accused me of trying to trap him. He said that I'd gotten pregnant on purpose. That's when he told me he only had one son and would never acknowledge another child.” She turned to the window.
“I refused to terminate the pregnancy and so he told me that he'd arrange an adoption. He sent me away and when I returned he never spoke to me again.”
“You say he sent you away?” Dr. Williams asked.
“I told Sean I was going on a cruise around the world for a year to deal with the stress, but actually I was only a few hundred miles away from him at a house that Justin owned,” she explained.
“Did you see Justin while you were staying at his house there?”
Carolyn shook her head. “No. Justin told me he'd washed his hands of me and never wanted to hear from me again. He took care of my expenses at his house and the house where Sean was living since Xavier had left us practically nothing.”
Dr. Williams frowned. “Xavier didn't leave yo
u and his son anything?”
Carolyn laughed. “Oh, he left Sean all the money he needed to go to school for as long as he wanted, but me, I barely had funds to cover his medical bills.”
She turned back to the doctor. “I asked Justin for the profits from the business and he told me that he wasn't turning anything over to me because Xavier hadn't made that possible.”
“So how had Xavier expected you to live?”
Carolyn turned back to the window. “He didn't care.”
“Were you angry with him because of that?”
“Yes, I'm still angry with him.”
“Why?” Dr. Williams asked.
“He left me and he didn't take care of me like he promised,” she said quietly.
“Does Sean take care of you?”
Carolyn was silent for a while.
“Not the way I wanted,” she answered.
“You wanted him to take care of you the way your husband did in the beginning?” he asked.
Carolyn nodded. “Yes...
“He's not your husband Carolyn. He's your son. I'm sure he's still dealing with his own issues from his father's death as well.”
“Who's going to take care of me?” she said in a small voice.
Dr. Williams smiled at her. “How about we help Carolyn take care of you?”
Carolyn turned back to the window. “Do you think she can?” she asked.
“The question is, “do you think she can?””
Turning back to him she said, “I think I'd like to see if it's possible.”
“Good.”
Carolyn smiled slightly.
“What happened when you returned from having the baby?” Dr. Williams asked.
Carolyn didn't look at him.
“Justin paid for the expenses on the house until Sean left for college and then I had to sell the house. I moved into a smaller house until Sean graduated and bought the house I live in now.”
“Sean was able to buy you a house right after graduating college?” Dr. Williams asked confused.
“Yes.”
“He'd started his law career already?”
Carolyn shook her head. “Now that I think about it...he hadn't started yet.”
Carolyn now wondered how Sean had bought her a million dollar home right out of school.
“What exactly does your son do Carolyn?” he asked.
Carolyn shrugged. “He's an Assistant to Justin's son Jordan.”