by Frank Zafiro
“I saw it in a movie once.”
In a movie. Unbelievable.
“What did the doc…I mean, what did the vet say?”
“That yer lucky. Ye bled a lot but no major organs were hit. He doped ye up and sewed things up as best he could. Ye’ve been sleepin’ nigh on three days.”
I tried to wrap my mind around that. It seemed more like one long night. “He didn’t mind helping?”
Even in the dim light, I saw the mischievous smile playing on her face. “He took a bit of convincing, that one. But he came ‘round. Shut down his practice and took himself a little vacation.”
I drank some more water, amazed. I wondered how she managed it all and how we were going to keep him quiet after…
“Oh, no,” I said.
“No what?”
“You shot him, didn’t you? That was the gunshot I heard. You shot the doc.”
“The vet, ye mean?”
“Whatever. Did you?”
She leaned in close to me and in the dim room, her eyes appeared flat and black. “He saw our faces, Laddie. He knew ye were shot. A feckin’ idjit could connect the dots.”
“You shoulda dropped me at the ER,” I said, unable to turn away from her gaze. I shuddered involuntarily and a spike of pain fired from my wound.
“I’m not gonna lose ye,” she said in a harsh whisper. “Not ever.”
Her words made me feel wonderful and terrible all at once.
Shae helped me dress. The jeans were mine but the T-shirt must have been the vet’s. It hung off me loosely. I draped my arm over her shoulders as we made our way out to the Datsun. The vet had a nice place out in the country, one I thought Shae and I could be happy at, if we could ever stop rolling. But maybe that flow was what made us…us.
Her small, strong hands braced me as I lowered myself into the passenger seat. Once my legs were inside, she closed the door and came around to the driver’s side. I slumped in the seat and pressed my forehead to the cool window glass. She pulled the car out onto Highway 395 and headed north at fifty-five miles per hour. I stared out the window at the passing scenery, mostly farmland and trees. Inside of an hour, we’d be at Murph’s and I could lie low and recover.
We didn’t speak during the drive, but when her hand came to rest on my knee, I covered it with my own, and squeezed.
I couldn’t refuse her, and never wanted to.
A New Life
I don’t believe in love at first sight. Not a bit. I believe a girl can have a crush at first sight, true. But I haven’t been a girl in many years. And I don’t have time for crushes.
Still, what is it that draws us together in this messed up world? Makes bad decisions seem like great ones, simply because of who we’re with? What is it about another person that can take all the mundane, crude, cheap and bitter moments in this life and somehow make them seem magical?
I wish I knew. If I’d have known, maybe I would have found a way to avoid it.
Then again, maybe not.
The flight across the Atlantic was restless. I kept waking up at every small noise, just sure that some kind of cop was going to put the grab on me. None appeared, though, and all I had to contend with was a snuffling old fart next to me and a whiny kid two rows over.
Somewhere over Greenland, the old guy “accidentally” brushed the side of my breast with his hand.
I leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Ye do that again, Da’, and you’ll be eating and wiping yerself left handed the rest o’ yer days.”
He tensed and his eyes flared open slightly.
I smiled sweetly.
Lucky old duffer. If I hadn’t been lying low, he’d have been nursing a broken finger instead of a bruised ego.
The hairiest part of the trip was changing planes in Montreal. If there’d been more time, I would have booked a flight into any other province but Quebec. All the French, I stood out like an empty pint. Time wasn’t always a luxury, though. Sometimes you have to make do. Go with the flow.
I handed my Irish passport to the customs official at the airport and flashed him my best Emerald Isle smile. I’d already taken the time to undo an extra button on my blouse.
“S'il vous plaît,” I said, letting my brogue butcher the French language. I never had much use for the French. Too much wine. Not enough fight. It’s no wonder they got their arses kicked twice last century.
He smiled at me, shot a predictable but appreciative glance down at my cleavage, then gave my passport the once over. “An-jay-lah Queen?”
I squinted. After a moment, I realized he was reading the name on the passport. Not my name, to be sure, but as good a name as any. “Aye, that’s me. Angela Quinn.”
He said something in French. I didn’t understand the words, but the tone was easy to decipher. He’d slipped into pick-up mode.
“Sorry, lad,” I told him. “The only French word left in my arsenal is merci. And I don’t have anything to thank you for yet.”
He smiled, baring his cigarette-stained teeth at me. “I say, what brings you to our fair country?”
“Visiting family.”
“Ah,” he replied, his smile growing. “Here in Montreal?”
I shook my head. “Vancouver.”
His smile faded. “That is too bad. Perhaps you have a layover, no?”
“No. I have a connecting flight.”
He pressed his lips together in disappointment. “What a pity.”
I smiled. “’Tis. I could have used a good knee trembler after such a long flight.”
He scrunched his eyebrows. “Pardon?”
“A knee trembler,” I repeated. I motioned toward the wall. “You know, there up against the wall. Up on your tip toes so hard, it makes your knees tremble?”
He flushed red with understanding. He hurriedly stamped my passport and handed it to me.
“Merci,” I said sweetly.
“Next!” he barked.
Serves him right. Goddamn French, anyway.
The walk through the Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport kept me on my toes, though not in the way I’d teased the gaping customs agent with. Every time I saw a uniform moving toward me, my knees trembled. I kept expecting a grab at my elbow and a French accent asking me to “come this way, madam.”
What would I do? Fight here? Run? Bluff?
I was tired of all three. The Troubles just beats it out of you.
I arrived at my gate without a problem. I sat and pretended to read a paperback romance while I watched people traffic.
No law was interested in me.
At least I would see the uniforms coming. If one of Sinn Fein came at me, I might not know until the last moment. Still, much of the foot traffic consisted of very French-looking people. I didn’t see many faces that could have been Irish. And none of them seemed to pay me any mind.
Maybe I’d gotten away clean.
I forced that thought down. When I made it to Uncle Terry’s, that’s when I could afford to think about being safe. Until then, thoughts of safety only clouded my thinking, made me less sharp. And until I was clear, I needed to stay alert.
For an hour, I sat and watched. Every minute or so, I turned a page of my book, just in case someone was watching.
The boarding call came first in French, then in English. I stood and waited in line. My heart beat faster as the line moved, thudding in my temples as I handed the woman my ticket.
“Merci,” she said in a sing-song voice and handed me back the stub.
I resisted the urge to run down the loading tunnel.
Get on this plane, I thought. Fly to Vancouver. Start a new life. Forget everything and everyone back in Ireland.
Easy.
Behind me, I heard the steady, thundering footfalls of a large man walking with purpose. The flimsy tunnel shook with his every step.
Shit! I was so close!
I took a deep steady breath.
Decision time. He sounded big. Too big to fight. Nowhere to run. O
nly chance was to bluff. Go with the flow.
I let out the breath and prepared myself.
The big man brushed past me and continued speed walking down the tunnel.
“Feckin’ Jaysus,” I sighed.
The flight attendant glanced at my boarding pass and directed me to my row. I slid my small bag into the compartment above the seats. Then I settled into the window seat and pretended to read my book.
A woman and her young son sat next to me. I ignored them.
Twenty minutes later, the plane took off, leaving the lights of Montreal behind.
I tried to sleep. There was nothing I could do if someone on the plane was after me, anyway. If it was the law, there was nowhere to go or anything to do until we landed. And if it were someone from the Cause? Well, I didn’t think anyone was going to hurt me while I was sitting next to a mother and her child.
Sleep was fitful. I kept seeing faces. Sean. Niall. Conor. I saw the flat face of a mummy with dancing eyes. Speeding cars. Shattered glass. Guns.
Blood.
I woke. The woman and her child were staring at me, slack-jawed.
“What are ye looking at?” I snapped.
The woman looked away but the child continued to stare.
I turned my gaze to the darkness out my window.
I needed a new life.
The descent into Vancouver was bumpy, giving the brat next me something new to worry about, but we landed safely enough. I retrieved my small bag and traipsed down the aisle with the rest of the cattle. At the door to the airplane, the flight attendant wished me a good evening. Even though her eyes settled on me, I was sure she didn’t actually see me. The thought gave me some comfort.
Traffic both sped up and spread out once we reached the tunnel. In almost no time, it opened up into the airport proper. I kept pace with the crowd, watching for uniforms. More than that, I watched for anyone looking at me. British Columbia had far more Irish roots than Quebec and the faces in the crowd reflected that. I didn’t think anyone would make a move in the airport – too hard to get a weapon in – but they might pick me up there and tail me elsewhere. The sooner I knew that I was marked, the better.
“Tara Kelly,” a voice announced over the loudspeaker. “Miss Tara Kelly, please come to the customer service kiosk.”
My stomach tensed. A trap? Tara Kelly was the code name that only Uncle Terry was supposed to know. My passport read Angela Quinn. So if someone else knew about Tara Kelly, then maybe the game was up.
Or maybe Terry had left me a message.
Why would he do that? Why wouldn’t he just be here?
I strolled along, thinking.
What was the best play? The smart play?
I was in the country now. No customs to pass through. All I had to do was get in touch with Terry and get to his place in the little burg of Rossland. It might not be a metropolis, but it was safe. It was where my new life waited.
What waited for me at the customer service kiosk? A message from Terry? A cop? A killer?
I didn’t like the odds.
I kept walking.
Outside the airport, I hailed a taxi.
“Where to?” he asked, resetting the meter.
“I need a motel room,” I told him. “Someplace away from the airport.”
He drove wordlessly for fifteen minutes before pulling into the parking lot of the Star-lite Motel. “This suit you?”
“It’ll do.” I pulled out the small roll of cash from my pocket and peeled off several bills. “Keep the change.”
He nodded his thanks and I slid out of the cab.
Checking in was quick, though I got some guff because I didn’t have a credit card. I figured that might be a problem, so I’d undone the magic button on my blouse again. A hundred bucks and some cleavage seemed to be the going rate for a deposit on a motel room in Vancouver.
I waited in the room an hour, making frequent checks out the window into the parking lot. I didn’t see anything suspicious. That sense of having made it started rising inside me again. I beat it back down. Once I was in Rossland. Then I could feel that way. Once I was Tara Kelly, complete with a Canadian birth certificate, a driver’s license and a new life. Not until.
After the hour, I left the room and walked a half block to a pub.
Bar, I reminded myself. Or tavern. Not a pub.
Inside, the late evening crowd created a steady buzz, but it wasn’t overwhelming. Just enough noise to camouflage, not loud enough to be dangerous. Perfect. I’d hidden in plain sight in places like this all over Ireland.
I stepped up to the bar and asked for change.
The bartender laid the coins on the bar. “You want something to drink, too, eh?”
“Sure.”
“What’ll ya have?”
I almost ordered Guinness. Instead, I glanced up at the “Kokanee” neon sign behind the bar. I ordered one.
“Bottle or tap?”
“Bottle.”
He popped the top and set the bottle before me. I paid him, took my bottle and made my way to the pay phones near the restrooms. The cold glass felt good in my hand.
I dialed Terry’s number from memory. The ring in my ear was different than the telephones back home.
Home.
I let myself a slight, ironic smile.
Canada was home now.
Terry didn’t answer. After eight rings, his answering machine clicked on. I thought about what to say while his voice filled the phone. When the beep sounded, I let the sound of the Vancouver bar filter into the receiver. Then I hung up.
“That’s an interesting smile,” a voice said.
I glanced up, prepared to tell the fella to take a hike. Instead, I was struck speechless. I found myself looking at the most beautiful man I’d ever stood next to. He wasn’t handsome in the sense that movie stars were handsome. His hair was a little tousled and he had a rough look about him. A small scar on his chin was accentuated by several days’ growth of beard.
All of that was nothing next to the look in his eyes when our gaze locked. The smoldering passion and the promise of forever radiated from his deep brown eyes. My stomach flip-flopped. My knees trembled.
A slow, knowing smile spread over his face. “That smile says a lot about you.”
I shook myself from my reverie. A rush of heat washed upward from my body to my face. “Is that so?” I asked him, trying to inject confidence into my voice.
He nodded. “It is.”
I lifted the beer bottle to my lips and took a long swallow while I watched him. I don’t know if I did that because I wanted the cold beer to cool me off or if it was part of the seduction dance. Maybe both. All I knew for sure was the something had clicked the moment I saw him. The fear of the chase went away. The fear of being alone left me. I knew in that moment that I would be with him until I died.
Three swallows of beer did nothing to cool me off or to clear my head.
“You can’t hide that smile,” he said. “Even when you try.”
“Oh, yer a romantic one, aren’t ye?” I answered him.
He cocked his head at me. “Aye,” he replied, his accent horrible. “That I am, lass.”
I broke into a small chuckle. “That’s awful. It’s like a form of racism or something. I ought to slap ye for it.”
He proffered his cheek.
Instead of slapping him, I reached out and let my fingertips and palm caress the stubble there. His eyes remained locked on me. The intensity pounded in my head, tingled in my chest and loins. The effect was overwhelming.
“What’s your name?” he asked me.
“Shae,” I answered, without thinking. Gone was Angela Quinn. Gone was Tara Kelly.
He reached up and covered my hand with his own. “Shae,” he asked. “Do you want to get out of this place? Go somewhere that we can be alone?”
I thought about it for the barest of moments. What if we were some kind of cop? Not a chance. IRA? Not likely.
I didn’t know who he
was. I didn’t know anything about him.
And I didn’t believe in love at first sight.
I didn’t have time for any crushes, either.
Go with the flow, lass.
Did I want to be alone with him?
“Aye, Laddie,” I said. “I do.”
I had the sense to go to his motel room instead of my own, though even that much thought process was a struggle. We burst through the door and were on each other with deep, frantic kisses. Clothing fell away, some gently, some torn. The hungry, selfish, grasping caresses of a first time were all we knew.
The world outside grew small, then disappeared. That motel room became the world.
The physical and the emotional melted into each other.
His skin tasted so good.
My breath caught.
Pleasure washed over me.
And again.
Time passed. Stood still.
We were one.
Inseparable.
Later, we lay on the bed on top of tangled sheets. He made a joke about wishing he still smoked. I thought it was the funniest thing ever said.
“My mother warned me about this,” he said.
“What’s that? Meeting strange women and deflowering them?”
He smiled. “Somehow I don’t think any deflowering occurred tonight.”
“Perhaps not. What did she warn ye about, then?”
He adjusted his body position, turning on his side to face me. “You have to understand. My father, he was German and Hungarian. Very practical. Always a planner. Very organized and disciplined. But my mother, she was mostly Italian. She was the romantic.”
“She teach ye that pick-up line?”
His face fell. “That was no line.”
I kissed him. “Sorry, Laddie. I was just playing with ye.”
He nodded that he understood. “She did teach me about romance, I suppose. Mostly I took after my father. He always used to tell me that all of the love songs on the radio were really just part of a government conspiracy.”
“Conspiracy?”
“Yeah. According to him, all of those songs were secretly designed to make us fall in love and get married so that the government could get you to pay more taxes.”