by Jeff Hale
“Aspect form?” Kris asked from the chair next to my bed. She had been channel surfing but now dropped the remote in her lap.
“Yeah, kinda in between man and beast, what most horror novels and movies use to depict werewolves. That’s what the elders call it, since it’s representative of our totem Aspect. It’s when we’re the strongest.” His voice went soft. “He didn’t want you to see him that way, at least not yet, but he wanted to protect you too.”
I sighed, trying not to cry. “I will admit that seeing him that way, and seeing what he had done to… what he had done, threw me a lot… but I think I might have been fine if I hadn’t… hadn’t…” The tears started to flow. Seemed like crying was coming easier to me lately. I felt Kris pat my hand. I had already talked to her late last night about it, so she knew what was bothering me.
I leaned forward, my head hitting Alex’s chest. “Alex… I… liked it,” I whispered. “I wanted to help Darien tear him apart, wanted to taste the blood.” I shuddered as I remembered licking the blood off my lips.
“Hey there, it’s okay.” He hugged me awkwardly, rubbing my back. “Unfortunately you’ll have to get used that, that’s your beast wanting to hunt, wanting the thrill of the kill.”
“But he was my step-dad… fuck, he was human!” I sniffled, remembered the nausea I had felt.
“Doesn’t matter, there was blood and violence around, that’s all it takes. Remember when I said there are some shifters who enjoy it? Now you know why.”
I let his words sink in, let the soft cotton of his t-shirt dry the tears from my cheeks, and then something occurred to me and I pulled away and punched him in the arm. “And just what were the two of you doing following us up here without saying anything to me? How is that fair?” I smacked him again.
“Shit, ow, damn, remind me to tell Darien you’re abusive!” He laughed, then his face sobered. “Darien wanted to keep an eye on you just in case, since there’s no real definitive, er, incubation period for want of a better phrase. But he didn’t want you to know we were here yet because he wanted you to be able to deal with moving and your folks’ divorce first.”
I glared at him but backed down. It made sense after all, and I appreciated that Darien wanted me to deal with my other stuff before having to deal with a ton more. “It’s okay, I guess. Although, ya know, I swear, it was almost like I knew he was here anyway, maybe that’s why I’m not so overly surprised.”
“That’s cuz you’re in lo-ove,” Kris piped in, smirking at me and sticking her tongue out.
“Hush, you!” I told her. Love? Was I? I didn’t think so, at least not yet.
She put her hands out in front of her, palms toward me, and shrugged like she had no clue what I was talking about.
“Well, you kind of did,” Alex said. His cell phone was in his hand and he flipped it shut. Had he texted someone while Kris was badgering me?
“Huh?” This was in unison from both me and Kris.
He gestured offhandedly. “We can sense those closest to us, in our case,” and he motioned to me, “the one who Blooded us, made us what we are. I can always sense when Darien is near, he can sense when I am near… and now, as just more proof that you are indeed going to change, you can too.”
I had wondered what had been going on, those couple of times that I felt… something, like there was something happening, or that I should know, going on. I just hadn’t been able to put my finger on it.
“So can I sense… no… I can’t, can I? I can’t sense you, or I would have earlier.”
“So, wait… she has Darien radar? That’s so… weird.” Kris rolled her eyes.
“Yes, she has Darien radar.” Alex laughed. “And no, we can’t sense each other, you and I… speaking of which…”
And I felt it, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up a tiny bit, and the sense that there was something near, someone near that I really should look for came over me. It wasn’t a new sensation, but now I knew what it meant.
“Oh God! He’s on his way in here?”
Alex nodded at me.
“You messaged him?”
He nodded again. I looked around for an IV cord to strangle him with.
“Fuck!” I patted my hair down, running my fingers through tangles. “I look like shit! Kris, please tell me I don’t look haggish right now? Agh, and hospital gown! The nurse wouldn’t let me change ‘till she came back with the damned papers!” I panicked.
“Kat!” Kris popped up out of the chair and grabbed my chin. “You look fine, and he won’t care anyway, so just calm down!” She stuck her tongue out me. She sat back down, rummaged through her small purse and threw a tiny hairbrush at me. I snatched it up out of my lap and began to drag it through my hair.
I had barely gotten the last tangle out, in between smacking a laughing Alex with the brush, when the door handle jiggled and the door opened enough for Darien to peek inside. His eyes were darker than usual and his expression held a bit of sadness and guilt.
Alex hopped off the bed and held a hand out to Kris. It only took her a few seconds before she realized he was trying to give Darien and me some alone time and they scooted out the door behind him. Kris squeezed Darien’s arm on the way out and the door closed. He leaned against it, looking at me with a forced smile.
“How are you?” His voice was soft. He was dressed close to what I began to assume was usual. Dark jeans, biker boots, skin tight navy t-shirt, thin black leather biker jacket. He had his hair in a ponytail, but it draped over his right shoulder. He looked tired, and worried.
I looked at his face, the misery that I could see brimming in his eyes, and felt myself begin to cry. Again. I pulled my feet out of the covers and swung them over the side of the bed, then heedless of rear ventilated hospital gowns, hurried the few steps across the room and flung myself into his arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his chest, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. His arms went around me, lightly at first, then tighter as I felt him shudder and some of the tension released from his body.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered into my hair, one hand stroking my back. “I’m just sorry that that had to happen, that you had to see it, see me…” He released a deep breath, but I felt his body begin to tense again.
I pulled away a little and he released me fully. I gave him a stern look and replaced his hands. “Look, I’m sorry I had to see it too… at least unprepared. I assume it’s something I’ll have to deal with soon anyway—the changing and bloodlust part that is, not the mauling someone to death part—”
His face changed at my words, took on that dark, guilty aspect again.
“Shit.” I looked up at him, reached up and cupped his face in my hands. “Don’t feel guilty. Yes, I will probably have nightmares, and my mother might need Valium for the rest of her life, but…” and I stared directly into his eyes, “I fully believe that Gary might very well have killed us both if you hadn’t intervened, or at least done some harm way more serious than he already had.”
Darien’s hand moved up to my neck at my words, and his fingers stroked the bruised skin at my throat. A rumble formed in his chest and his eyes darkened more.
“Stop.” I put my hand against his chest. “He’s gone, you saved us, you saved me. He can’t hurt me, or my mom, anymore.” He calmed, and to show him that what he had done couldn’t kill the desire I had for him, I stood up on tip toe, pulled his head toward me, and touched my lips to his.
It was different this time. The fire from before was there, but there was something more, something even more wild, at least on my side of it. I heard him groan and his hand slid down to my butt, pulling me closer to him.
“I can’t lose you, not again,” he whispered against my lips as he pulled slightly away. “Do you understand that? It would kill me.”
I just nodded, breathless, and he buried my mouth under his again.
“Well, now, I have your papers here… oh… my, I’m sorry… young man! Put he
r down, please, she’s had a rough night and doesn’t need any of that just yet! You heard me, now!” The nurse’s foot tapped the floor.
Darien froze, pulled away with a look of profound regret on his face, then very carefully set me on the floor. He straightened my gown, composed himself, turned to the nurse with a sheepish grin. My cheeks flamed crimson.
Nurse Benson gave me a stern look, handed me a paper that bore both the doctor’s signature and a blank place for me to sign and was my ticket out of here, then turned to Darien and said crisply, “You, out. She needs to change. I don’t care if you have seen it all before, you are not her husband, so you can just wait in the hall.” She pointed towards the door and tapped her foot again.
Darien raised his hands in surrender, grinned impishly and disappeared outside the door.
“Nurse Benson, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to—”
She waved a hand at me, cutting me off. “I have a daughter in her twenties, I know how this works.” Her look was shrewd. “Just keep the activities light till you’re all healed up, at least a day or two, okay, sweetie?”
My face flamed again, but I nodded gratefully at her. She opened up the small closet door in the room, got the bag of clothes out that Kris had grabbed from the house for me and set them on the bed.
“You have your discharge papers—” I signed in the space indicated with the pen she handed me, “—there are your clothes. Now remember, if your throat starts to bother you, popsicles will work wonders, and if anything changes, be sure to get a hold of us immediately. I’ll give you a call later on and let you know how your mother’s doing.”
“Thank you, Nurse Benson.”
“Now get dressed and get out of here. I’m sure your young man is waiting impatiently.” She smiled brightly and headed out of the room. I heard her voice outside the room. “You, treat her like china, do you understand?”
There was a snappy reply of assent from Darien.
I pulled the clothes out of the bag and laid them on the bed. White jeans, undies, socks, a bra, shoes… and a pink T-shirt with a large white bunny that said, ‘It’s all about me!’ Hmph, very funny, Kris.
But I dropped that hospital gown to the floor with a sense of freedom and dressed as quickly as I could. The police had let Kris into the house, supervised, to collect the clothes, and my purse with my ID, credit cards and phone. The purse was sitting on the nightstand. So with my get out of jail free papers clutched in one hand, and purse in the other, I headed out the door to the hospital waiting room.
Darien leaned casually against the wall outside the room. A teenage girl sat in one of the chairs that lined the hallway, her eyes fixed on him. I recognized her, even though she was a couple grades below me. Alicia Somethingorother. She was in my gym class. Her eyes widened when she saw Darien greet me and slide his arm around my shoulders possessively. There was no sign of Kris or Alex.
Darien must have noticed my quick search for them. “Alex took Kris... well wherever she wants to go. He wanted to make sure we had some time to ourselves.” He smiled at me.
I smiled back nervously. Time alone. It made my heart speed up, but sent alarm through me as well. Part of me wanted to fling myself at him, heedless of those surrounding us, and another part wanted to back away slowly and cautiously.
We walked in silence out to the parking lot and I followed him to his motorcycle. It was different than the one I had ridden on previously. Of course, the old one was still a tangled mess on the side of hill as far as I knew. Whatever kind of consulting Darien did for his father must pay well. What surprised me the most though, was the shiny black helmet that he handed me.
“I thought you didn’t own any helmets?” I lifted a brow at him.
“I didn’t… till this morning. Wanted to make sure you were safer this time than last time.”
“What? I don’t get to heal as fast as you do?”
He shook his head. “Not quite yet. Oh, you heal faster now than you did before,” and he caressed the bruised skin of my throat again, bruises that looked days old instead of hours, “but until you change the first time, you won’t have your full healing capacity.”
“Bummer.” I pulled the helmet onto my head and strapped it under my chin. He looked me over critically for a moment, grinning briefly at my T-shirt, then slid his jacket off and handed it to me. I pulled it on, swimming in what was a close fitting jacket on him. “Thanks.”
He nodded and swung a leg over the bike, kicking it into life, then patted the seat behind him. I hopped up behind him, putting my hands on his shoulders. I left the visor on the helmet up.
“Where to?” he asked over his shoulder.
My belly rumbled at that particular moment. Hospital food is edible at best, and I had only poked around at my breakfast earlier. “Food, somewhere, anywhere,” I said.
He nodded and revved the bike.
Somewhere, anywhere, ended up being the IHOP that was not too far from the Mall. It took us a few minutes to get there, being that we had to get onto the highway for a couple miles before taking the exit out to the Mall, and the ride was exhilarating. I rode with my arms around Darien’s waist and my head thrown back, visor open to the morning sun, and felt that this was where I belonged.
The waitress at the IHOP greeted us warmly and led us to a booth in the far corner, where light from both corner windows streamed in. She gave us both a bright smile and headed off to get the colas that we had both asked for.
I opened the menu and flipped through it. I was starving and everything looked good. After debating for several minutes, I finally made my decision and Darien motioned the waitress over.
I watched as her eyes grew wide, but she dutifully took down my order of pancakes, French toast, hash browns, sausage, bacon, steak, eggs, and biscuits. Darien had a slightly amused look on his face as I ordered, and when the waitress turned to him, he just gave a small laugh.
“I’ll have the same thing she’s having,” he said, taking my menu and handing both mine and his to the waitress.
Her eyes got big, but she just nodded.
“You know, I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat all of that. I’m just so hungry and I couldn’t decide,” I offered up apologetically.
“You might surprise yourself,” Darien said, laughing again.
“Yeah, lots of surprises lately,” I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him.
He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you we were coming up after you. I wanted to be able to keep an eye on you, just in case, but I didn’t want to interfere too much either.”
“So… what? You were just going to follow me around until I changed? Was that your plan?”
He looked somewhat sheepish. “Something like that, yeah.” He saw me roll my eyes. “Now don’t you start, too. Alex has been giving me the riot act, referring to me as your ‘stalker’. I know I told you that I would get hold of you in a couple weeks, that the chances that you would change this soon were slim, but someone had to be near, just in case.”
I pursed my lips at him and settled back into my seat with my arms over my chest.
His lips twitched and he rested his hands on the table. “I wasn’t, you know. Stalking you.”
“Mmmhmm.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
He chuckled. “Okay, maybe a little.”
I fiddled with the napkin wrapped silverware, turning my gaze out the window to stare at cars driving by. Silence settled in on us, broken by the waitress returning with our drinks. I pulled the cola she brought me closer and worked on trying to down as much of it in one gulp as possible.
“So. I have a question for you. A personal one, but it’s been kinda nagging at me.”
I stopped in mid-swallow and raised my eyebrows at him. A personal question? Well, we did need to get to know each other better. Other than the brief time on the beach, we hadn’t really gotten any time to just, well, talk, without having an emergency happen or getting otherwise distracted.
“Shoot. Of c
ourse, if I answer your questions, then I want you to answer some of mine, only fair after all.”
He nodded at me, his expression serious. He glanced around us, making sure that there weren’t any others within earshot of normal conversation, then leaned forward a bit. “I have it on… rumor… that you are… uhm… shit, this is going to sound so indelicate…” he paused briefly, “…inexperienced?”
“Inexperienced?” My brow furrowed in confusion for a second before it dawned on me what he was saying. I laughed in surprise. “Are you asking me if I’m a virgin?”
He stared at me for a moment, embarrassed, then nodded.
“Yes, yes I am,” I answered honestly. “Why? Does it matter?”
“No, it doesn’t. I guess I’m just trying to ask… are you waiting? Saving yourself for marriage? That kind of thing? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with my… advances… if that’s the case.”
I almost snorted cola out my nose. His advances didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all, except in the sense that I seemed to not be able to think about much else when I was close to him.
“No, I am most definitely not saving myself for anything, in fact the only reason I am still virginal is through lack of offers.” I shrugged. “Not that I’m planning on sleeping with anything that moves, that’s just not me. I would have to know a guy, actually like him, be attracted to him first. But sex is something that is appealing to me, and my mom brought me up that it wasn’t a bad thing.”
He stared at me again, a considering look on his face.
“What?” I sighed. “I’m sorry if that’s too liberal for you.”
“No, not too liberal at all. Depending on what you shift to, what your system had already chosen once you became self-aware, your attitudes about sex may change greatly. It’s something that all shifters deal with since it is one of our base natures that we can indulge in freely.”