by Jeff Hale
“Do you mind walking? I’m not ready to go home quite as fast as a cab ride would get me there.”
“I don’t mind at all.”
We headed down the sidewalk in the direction that led back towards the club. I let her set the pace, which was faster than normal but not quite speed walking, and kept up alongside her, between her and the road. We walked for several minutes before I broke the silence.
“So what’s going on, Katelyn, with you and Darien? Kris tried to explain it some, but I’m still a bit confused.”
She slowed her pace a little, taking her time before answering, “I’m not exactly sure, Alex.” Her voice was soft.
I slowed down to match her. “Do you love him?”
Silence again, then she shrugged. “I don’t know.” She sighed. “I know I could, but I don’t think I’m there quite yet.”
“You’re attracted to him, though.”
She made a noise. “That’s pretty obvious. And when I’m near him, it’s almost overwhelming.” She tilted her head to look up at me. “But is it real? Am I really attracted to him or is there just something about him that’s making me feel like I want to jump him when he’s near?” She blushed a little. “I mean, you saw what happened tonight, with me, dancing. I’m not stupid, I know something else was going on with me, something in me was making those guys like me more, something that has to do with what I’m becoming.”
I shook my head. “Other than Darien’s ‘brooding bad boy’ image, which does seem to attract women like flies,” I saw her eyes narrow with what seemed a brief tinge of jealousy and continued on, “there isn’t anything else, other than being another shifter, that would make him more attractive to you.” I neglected to mention to her our suspicion of who she was in a previous life, something that might indeed make her feel an unusual attachment to Darien. “He’s a wolf, a canine like me, and we don’t have any supernatural seduction powers. There’s really only one shifter breed that does, so that kind of narrows down what I think you’re going to be.”
She stopped. “Really? So what do you think it is?”
I looked at my feet. The suspicion of what she was going to turn into had been there for a while and tonight’s events had only made me more sure. “It’s kind of ironic, in a way.” I laughed.
“Ironic?”
I nodded. “I mean, what’s your name?”
She gave me a confused look. “Katelyn. But you know that.”
I smiled. “No, I mean the nickname most people have for you.”
“Kat? But what’s so… oh, good lord… I’m gonna be a cat of some sort?”
“Nearest as I can tell, yeah.”
She resumed walking. “Ironic indeed. Woulda been nice to maybe be something a bit more unique, but I do have an affinity for cats.”
“Still could be interesting. We don’t know what kind of cat you’ll turn out to be after all. Lots of them out there.”
“I suppose.” She was quiet again for several moments. “I have a question for you, Alex.”
“Shoot.”
“Did I somehow get myself, I dunno, permanently attached to Darien, without my knowing?”
I bit my lip. I was wondering if she had realized exactly what was going on with Darien. “Yes and no.”
“Yes and no. Well, that doesn’t give me much of an answer.”
“Alright, well, he has permanently attached himself to you. That’s not so much the canine, but the wolf in him. He’s a one woman guy. He told you about Sasha?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he hasn’t been in a true relationship since her. Oh, he’ll have the occasional fling, he has his physical needs after all, but no emotional attachment, not until you. And I think in his confusion and surprise over his attachment to you, he has maybe falsely led himself to believe that you feel the exact same way. Don’t judge him too harshly, Katelyn, he’s struggling with how he feels too, and sometimes he just doesn’t know the right way to react.”
She didn’t answer for the longest time, walking in silence, and I noticed the occasional shiver from her now that her ire had cooled. I was fine, despite the chill to the air, but until she had fully changed for the first time, her shifter metabolism would be hit or miss.
“I do like him, Alex, and I do feel that I could easily love him, and I do want a boyfriend. But, damn it, I’m only eighteen, I’m not ready for a lifetime commitment yet, I don’t want a lifetime commitment yet. I have plenty of time ahead of me for that. I want to experience life and see what’s out there first.”
She shivered again, and I instinctively put an arm around her bare shoulders. Her skin was chilly to the touch and she nestled in up against my side for warmth.
“Thanks.”
“So where does that leave Darien?” I asked her.
I felt her shoulders shrug under my arm. “I honestly don’t know.” There was sadness in her voice. “I wish he didn’t feel so permanently attached to me, for his sake, and I don’t know when I’ll be ready to settle down for good. It’s unfair of me to ask him to wait around for me, I know.”
“He will.”
“He will what?”
“Wait around for you, if he has to.”
She exhaled slowly, and it was though I could feel her deflate. “But what happens if when the time comes, when I’m ready to settle down, what if it isn’t with him, then what?”
I felt my body go stiff as we walked, even though I felt a leap in my heart at her words. Not that it meant anything. It didn’t mean that she would ever feel anything for me other than as a friend. And if something did happen, what then for my friendship with Darien? I had told him that as far I was concerned she was his, but that was under the assumption that she returned the feelings. If she didn’t feel the same way about him that he did about her, then I didn’t know where that left him, or me for that matter.
“Then I guess Darien will just have to deal with it, won’t he.”
“That’s what worries me,” came her whispered reply.
We both lapsed into silence at that point. I left her to her thoughts, not wanting to push anything at that point. My own head was in a chaotic spin, made even worse by the feel of her against my side. She had stayed snuggled next to me as we walked and I had felt her quit shivering. I didn’t know now if she was still there for the warmth, or for the comfort, or maybe a little of both. I didn’t particularly care, being selfish enough to enjoy her closeness for my own reasons.
We reached the parking lot of the club soon enough, too soon for me, but I kept my disappointment hidden when she moved away from me to retrieve her keys from her purse and unlock the doors to her car. She got in and started the engine while I just stood there. She looked at me through the window, and I could see her brow furrow in perplexity before she rolled the window down.
“Do you want a ride back to the motel or not?” she asked in amusement. She gestured toward the passenger seat with a quick motion of her head. “Get in, silly.”
I did as she told me, smiling at her, grateful for a few more minutes alone with her. As I opened the passenger door, she was sliding a music disc into the player on the dash and by the time I had buckled up and she had started to pull out of the parking lot, the car was filled with the sound of what I thought was termed industrial death metal. I wasn’t sure. It had a heavy, frantic base beat to it and the lyrics suggested violence of some sort. I watched Katelyn out of the corner of my eye and could see her bobbing her head along with the beat.
“So where’s the motel you guys are staying at?”
“It’s a bit from your house.” I gave her the name.
“Sheesh, that is pretty far away!”
“Yeah, Darien wanted to be closer, just in case.”
“In case what?”
“You shifted early. It can happen sometimes. Without another shifter around to help with the transition, well, sometimes it can go badly.”
“Oh.” She chewed her lip a bit. “And here I thought he was just bei
ng a stalker.” She gave a halfhearted laugh.
“Well, he was, kind of, but in his defense, he only had your best interests at heart. He doesn’t want you to get hurt.”
“Yeah.” She gave a little shudder. “I’m not sure what would have happened if he hadn’t been there when my step-dad tried to…” She broke the sentence off, shuddering again and I saw her fingers tighten on the wheel. A tear welled up and spilled down her right cheek.
I wiped it away with a finger and she leaned her face into my hand. “Ssh, it’s okay, I know.”
She nodded and swallowed hard, forcing herself not to cry. After a few moments of silent driving she turned her gaze to me briefly and said, “Thank you, Alex.”
“For what?”
She shrugged and shook her head. “Just, thank you.”
I smiled at her and nodded. “You’re welcome.”
We were nearing the area of town where the motel was when it occurred to me that having her drop me off might not be a good idea. Darien might end up feeling her presence and I’d have a hell of a time keeping him away from her at that point.
“Katelyn? Why don’t you just drive to your house, I can walk back to the motel from there.”
She gave me an odd look. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. The walk will do me good.”
“Okay.”
A few minutes later saw us pulling into the driveway of her house. She pulled up to the end of the garage that was farthest from the front door and turned the engine off, shrouding the car in sudden silence. She didn’t move, just sat in the driver’s seat staring straight ahead.
“Thanks for driving me back, Katelyn. I’ll head back to the motel and let Darien know you’re all right,” I told her. “Did you want me to give him a message?”
She gave a quick shake of her head.
“I hope the rest of the night goes better for you,” I whispered, reaching for the door handle. Her hand settling on my thigh stopped me.
“Don’t go,” she said, so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
I heard her seatbelt buckle click open as I turned to face her. “What’s wrong?”
She was looking at me, the lights above the garage highlighting her face. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or not, but her eyes seemed to glisten, their bright blue now a deep sapphire.
Never taking her gaze off me, she brought her knees up from under the steering wheel and twisted in her seat until her legs were tucked underneath her, her back to the driver’s side window. I felt emotion rolling off her now, something close to what she had been broadcasting at the club earlier when she and Kris had been dancing, but on a toned down scale. She was doing it on purpose this time, and unsure of how to control it, so pushing timidly at first.
Not that I needed the extra incentive to find her attractive. My breath caught in my throat, my eyes locked with hers in a way that was reminiscent of a deer and headlights as I felt that small push of desire from her caress its way across my senses.
I froze, confused, unsure what she was doing and what to do about it. She must have decided that she wasn’t putting enough oomph behind it because all of a sudden she ramped it up, lacking the fine control to nudge it up in increments.
Willpower and the knowledge of what she was doing were the only things that kept me from lunging across the small space between us and sinking teeth and nails into her in a way that would only be pleasurable.
“Katie, please!” I protested through clenched teeth, using my preferred shortening of her name.
She frowned at me, but the waves of desire rolling off of her faded. The craving for her was still there, curled in the pit of my belly and waiting for me to let it have free rein, but I was in complete control of it now.
“You don’t find me attractive?” There was a catch in her voice, and she sounded almost lost. Her face fell and her bottom lip started to quiver.
Shit.
I leaned forward and put a hand under her jaw, lifting her chin until her eyes met mine again. “Katie, love, I don’t think you know just how much I’m attracted to you,” I told her, my voice ragged.
She leaned into me then, her hands going to my shoulders, her face coming towards mine, eyes never leaving mine. “I have to know if it’s just him,” she whispered. Her lips settled on mine like a little butterfly on a flower, fluttering against my skin, the tip of her tongue darting out just enough to caress my top lip, and it was my undoing.
My arms went around her, palms flat against her back as I crushed her to me. I felt her sigh into my mouth as my lips took possession of hers, my tongue forcing her mouth open to taste what lay inside, still sweet and salty from earlier. Her hands were trapped against my chest and she pulled away just enough to free them, then I felt the shock of them against my bare skin as they found their way under the back of my shirt.
I leaned into her, wanting to feel her under me, only pulling away when she protested and had to move her legs so I wasn’t bending her knees at a most uncomfortable angle. Once settled she pulled me back down to her, scooting down so that I could lean across her thighs, my knees on the passenger floorboards. Her purse made a convenient pillow for her shoulders in the space between the two bucket seats.
Our lips met again with slightly less aggression, but no less passion, at least on my part. I couldn’t be sure what exactly she was feeling, but her breath was coming in short gasps and I could smell her beast just under her skin. I dragged my lips from hers, tasting my way across her jaw line and down her neck. I almost bit her when I felt her fingers slide inside the waistband of my jeans to play with the upper reaches of my butt.
She shuddered and arched her back, pressing her breasts into my chest, breasts that were straining now to pop out of the top of her corset. I had just settled my mouth to her collarbone, intent upon working my way down to the corset edge when I felt that familiar stir in my brain of Darien’s proximity.
Katelyn must have felt it too because she stilled beneath me. Outside emotion slithered into my head—shock, jealousy, betrayal—and then it was gone just as quickly. I might have noticed it sooner if I hadn’t been so distracted.
Like a trance being broken, the mood was gone, for both of us. Katelyn shivered beneath me and I pushed myself up, then helped her to sit up. She wouldn’t look at me and I could smell the fear on her. Soft sniffling let me know she was crying again.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she mumbled quietly. “I’m sorry, Alex, but I had to know, I had to know…”
“It’s okay, Katie, don’t cry,” I said. My words had the effect of causing her light sniffling to transform into wrenching sobs. I opened the passenger door. “I’m going to go now, okay? I’ll give you a call tomorrow. Everything will be fine.”
I didn’t hear her answer, I wasn’t even sure she did answer. I got out of the car and shut the door behind me.
Leaving Katelyn crying alone in the car was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I did it. I took a deep breath, dug my heels in, and ran.
TWELVE
Alex
The motel room door wasn’t locked when I got there. I was breathing hard and I took a few moments to catch my breath before I pushed it open. As I stepped through the doorway a fist caught me in the face, connecting solidly with my right cheekbone, the momentum slamming me into the open door.
I wasn’t surprised. I had been expecting something of the sort.
Darien pinned me against the door with fists wrapped in my shirt, snarling, his eyes pitch black in fury. He leaned in close, his anger hitting me in waves as he took in a deep inhalation of breath near my face.
“You fucking reek of her!” he ground out.
My feet left the floor as he lifted me and threw me across the room into the opposite wall. I felt the plaster crack as I impacted, then crashed onto the table near the wall, upending it and everything on it.
“Bloody hell, Darien!” I yelled from where I lay between the wall and the table. “Can we not destroy the fur
niture just so’s you can give me a gobful?”
His answer was to give me a warning growl and walk out the door, a wave of fear inspiring intimidation now coming off him as well that would make most people extremely hesitant to open their doors and investigate.
I got up gingerly, nothing broken yet, although I had a few scratches and bruises that were rapidly healing. It would take a lot more than a single punch and a trip into the wall to damage me. I briefly debated the wisdom of following him outside and figured that if I didn’t, he’d just come back in and ransack the motel room in his attempts to quench his anger on me.
I righted the table, frowning woefully at my laptop where it now lay on the floor and sent out a wish that it not be damaged. I stepped over one of the chairs, and taking a deep breath, headed outside.
He grabbed me as I stepped out the door.
My face met his knee and I felt my nose give. I briefly tasted blood before he continued my downward trajectory into the concrete walkway. I managed to turn my head just enough so that the side of my face took the brunt of it, rather than my chin or my forehead. I barely had time to register the rough texture of the concrete against my face before I felt his foot bury itself in my side. The kick flipped me over, sliding me back into the grill of our little rental car. Ribs shattered where his foot had connected and I felt a stabbing pain in my gut.
Then he was back in my face, pulling me up to sitting and slamming the back of my head into the front of the car.
“I thought you were my friend!” he grated out through clenched teeth, punctuating his accusation with another bang of my head on the car.
“Darien, for fuck’s sake!” I managed to get out between thumps. “You’re denting the car!”
He stopped and looked at me in disgust for a moment, then raised a fist, his expression determined as he brought it down to meet my face.
Pain exploded in my left eye, then in my right as he rocked my head with another blow from the other hand. I lay there against the hood of the car, letting him pummel me like a rag doll, until blood filled my eyes, my mouth, my nose. I was having trouble taking a breath, almost choking. But I refused to fight back, because deep down, I knew I deserved anything he wanted to take out on me.