“I’m sure it was just the shock.” She tries to sound convincing, but it doesn’t work.
I nod in agreement, but it’s a lie. Whatever just happened with Wes was more than just shock. His eyes looked terrified as he backed away from me. The image of them is going to be burned into my mind for a long time.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that we don’t see Wes again for the rest of our time in Florida, but I am. We spend the next two days around the pool in the hopes that he’ll turn up to work, but he never does.
I try to continue enjoying myself and putting a brave face on, but neither Bryony nor Cherry buy the act. By the time we’re packing up to head home, I’ve just about had enough of their sympathetic looks. I know they’re just trying to help and be here for me, but every time I look at them I’m reminded of what I’m about to leave behind.
He shouldn’t have this effect on me. It’s been ten years and one night of passion, but I still feel like I’m about to leave my heart in Florida. I know the girls don’t understand it after the way he’s treated me. Hell, I don’t understand it. But it is what it is.
I tell myself not to look, but as we pass by the pool on our way to reception to check out, I find myself glancing over my shoulder at the lifeguard station. My heart drops when I see Elijah standing there. He nods at me before turning away.
“You want me to see if I can bribe Wes’ phone number out of him?” Cherry asks when she sees who’s holding my attention.
“No. He knows where to find us should he decide to.” I glance between them one more time, still trying to figure out what she did to get the youth centre address out of him. Cherry seems to be keeping it a heavily guarded secret, which is unlike her.
I feel empty as the taxi driver takes my bag from me and places it in the trunk with the others.
“Are you looking forward to seeing Jacob?” Bryony asks, trying to distract me.
“Yes. I’ve missed him so much.”
Most of the journey passes me by. Bryony and Cherry try getting some conversation out of me, but now that we’re heading home the only thing I can focus on is wrapping my arms around my boy. I’ve spoken to him every day and I know he’s had a great time with Mom and Dad.
“Thank you so much,” I say to both of them as the taxi comes to a stop outside my parents’ house later that afternoon. “Ignoring the obvious, it was a great few days.”
“Go on,” Cherry says with a laugh. “Go hug your boy. Phone me if you need anything,” she calls out. I’m already out of the car, collecting my stuff, ready to do as she suggested.
“MOM!” is shouted the second I shut the front door. Jacob’s smiling face peers around the kitchen doorway and I drop everything in my hands in favor of running towards him.
Sweeping him up in my arms, I fight to keep the giant lump from clogging my throat. Tears sting my eyes as I breathe in my baby boy.
“I missed you. Did you have a good time with Gran and Granddad?”
“Yes.” Jacob thankfully doesn’t notice I’m on the verge of a breakdown as he launches into telling me about everything he’s done in the few days I’ve been away.
Mom gives me a sympathetic smile when I join her and Dad in the kitchen. “You look like you got plenty of sun,” she says, ignoring my threatening tears and instead focusing on my new tan.
“Yes, the weather was incredible.”
“Tell me all about it.” My chin trembles as the image of Wes pops into my head. “Hold that thought. I’ll make coffee.”
I try to keep myself together as she gets up, says something to my dad, who immediately suggests going out into the garden and Jacob excitedly follows behind. Mom makes quick work of the coffee and it seems like only seconds before a steaming mug is placed in front of me and she’s prompting me to start explaining.
My tears start to fall before I even get the first word out. “Wes was there,” I admit. “He’s a lifeguard at the hotel.”
I explain everything to Mom. Well, everything aside from the night we shared together.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey.”
“He was just like I remembered. Things between us were just like they used to be, if not more intense. I just didn’t think he’d do that.”
“I guess he did it once before,” Mom says sadly. And I guess she’s right. I shouldn’t be surprised.
Jacob and I have dinner with Mom and Dad before we head home. As we walk through our front door, I take a deep, steadying breath. I need to put the last few days behind me. There’s no point in dwelling on something that clearly wasn’t going to happen.
I’ve managed to make a good life for us without Wes for the past ten years. We don’t need him.
But you want him, a little voice says in my ear as I set about returning to normal life.
The days have dragged by since our spring break. To say it’s been hard getting back into the swing of things would be an understatement. Jacob is now back at school and we’re slowly remembering our old routine. Work at the bookshop has been long and slow. I want to say thank God for my colleague, Rose, but every time I look at her I can see how content and happy she is. It’s a harsh reminder of the disaster that is my love life.
Mom’s been trying to keep me distracted. She keeps sending me links to books she thinks I should read, or suggestions for Netflix shows to watch when Jacob’s in bed. I’ve tried a few, but I’m struggling to focus on much.
“Mom, the pizza’s here,” Jacob shouts up the stairs the following Friday evening.
“Get the movie ready, and I’ll go get it,” I call back. Many people might think going out drinking is the perfect way to spend a Friday night, but I can’t think of anything more perfect than chilling out on the couch with my boy, a takeout pizza, and a movie.
“Sorry, how much was it?” I ask, fiddling with the clasp on my purse once I’ve pulled the door open.
“Lacey?” At the sound of his deep voice, the leather slips through my fingers and I vaguely hear coins bouncing around my feet. My heart pounds as my hands tremble. “Lace, look at me.”
Unable to ignore his request, I drag my eyes up from the floor. They run over his dark jeans, up his fitted grey t-shirt, and to his tired eyes. He looks stressed.
“Wh—what are you…” I’m so stunned I can’t get the words out.
“I went to your parents’ house. They sent me here.”
“Oh.”
“Mom, come on. It’s starting.”
When I don’t respond, the sound of light footsteps filters through to me. I don’t get a chance to tell him to wait or to stop because before I know what’s happening, Wes is looking over my shoulder. He sucks in a sharp breath and his eyes soften as he stares at his son.
“Dad?” Jacob asks. His voice is closer, and when I eventually manage to drag my eyes away from the look of awe on Wes’ face, I find Jacob standing protectively in front of me. My heart swells with his need to defend me. Jacob may never have met his dad but I’ve never hidden Wes’ identity. Jacob’s always had a photograph of the two of us at prom in his bedroom. Over the years the memory has been painful to look at, but I thought it was important for him to have just a tiny piece of his dad.
Placing my hands on his tense shoulders, I look back up to Wes. “Jacob, I’d like you to meet your dad. Wes, this is Jacob.”
Silence stretches out around us and is only broken when the man I was expecting to find outside my front door walks up carrying a pizza box. I start to fumble around to collect my abandoned purse, but I stop when I hear Wes’ voice again.
“Keep the change.”
He stands with the box in his hands and a hopeful look in his eyes.
“I guess you’d better come in, then. I don’t think there will be enough for all of us, though.”
“I’m not sure I’m hungry.”
After pouring an extra glass of soda, the three of us sit around our dining table in silence, the movie’s been long forgotten. Jacob wastes no time in stuffing his face with pizza, s
eemingly oblivious to the magnitude of this situation.
That is, until he swallows his mouthful and turns to look at his dad, who’s still staring at Jacob like he doesn’t quite believe he’s real.
“So, what made you decide to show your face now?”
“Jacob,” I chastise. I’ve never said a bad word to him about Wes and he’s never really asked. A couple of his closest friends only have a mom around, so I guess it’s normal.
“I…” Wes swallows, nervously glancing over at me. “Things in my life were…complicated when I was a kid. I moved here with my mom to get away from someone.” Wes’ eyes find mine and I realize I’m about to get my first taste of why he left so suddenly. “But that someone found us. I had no choice but to leave. I had to protect your mom.”
“What? How did you protect me by leaving?” I don’t really want to have this conversation in front of Jacob, but I can’t help it.
“Because that person wanted to ruin my life and there was no doubt in my mind that he’d do that by any means possible. Including hurting you.”
My breath catches as I try to figure out who he’s talking about, try to think back to any concerns I might have had back then. But I had none. It appeared that Wes had a normal life. But it seems I might have only seen what he wanted me to see.
“So, why now?” Jacob repeats his earlier question.
“Your mom and I bumped into each other while she was in Florida. We haven’t spoken since the day I left.” Dragging his eyes away from mine, he looks down at our son. “She told me about you, and I…freaked out. I’ve never had a good father figure in my life and I have no idea where to even start being a dad, let alone a good one.”
“You just need to be here.” Jacob’s answer is so simple, and suddenly all the things he’s missed out on by not having his dad around hits me. Tears sting my eyes as I take in the two of them sitting beside each other.
When I was pregnant, I used to pray my baby would look like me. I couldn’t cope with the thought of having a little Wes to look at every day. But the moment he was born and I saw his head full of dark hair, I knew I had a little Wes. Most days I found it kind of comforting. It was like a little bit of him was still with me even though I had no idea where he was.
“Jacob, could you go and watch the film? Your dad and I need to talk.”
Jacob looks between the two of us, and I swear I see a warning in his eyes as he looks at Wes. Pride swells within me that he feels the need to try to protect me.
After a few seconds, he leaves the room. Silence falls heavily between us and I find myself staring at the wood grain on the tabletop before me.
“He’s incredible, Lace.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I’m so sorry. I fucked up, I know. But…”
“You freaked out,” I say, repeating his earlier words.
His eyes darken and he looks over towards the window. His fists clench and his teeth grind as he prepares to say what he’s thinking. “My dad wasn’t a good man, Lacey. He was abusive, both mentally and physically. He controlled Mom and I for years. The first chance she got, she moved us both as far away from him as possible. She moved us here. We thought we were safe, that it was over. But the morning after prom, I went home after dropping you off to find my mom a broken, terrified mess. She’d been receiving threats for a few weeks. She’d kept it secret thinking it was just a joke. But it wasn’t. He’d followed her home from the store the day before. After teaching her a lesson for walking out on him, he threatened to come back for me.
“I didn’t have a choice, Lace. If I’d stayed, he’d have come after you, and I couldn’t allow that. The only way to protect you from that monster was to leave. If I’d have known, I would have—”
“What? Taken me with you? Stuck around?” I ask, drawing my brows together.
“I…I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.” Getting up, he runs his fingers through his hair and paces back and forth. “I don’t fucking know. I didn’t expect any of this.”
“And you think I did?”
“No, I just…fuck.” Falling back down onto the chair, he drops his head into his hands and tries to calm his breathing. “What if I’m like him, Lacey?” he asks quietly. I’m just about to ask what he means when it dawns on me.
“No, Wes. You’re not—”
“That’s the only kind of father I’ve ever known. What if I turn into him?”
Suddenly, his fear makes more sense. The distant look in his eyes when I told him I got pregnant that night.
Falling to my knees at his feet, I gently push his hands away so I can look into his eyes. “You’re not your dad, Wes. You’re you. You’re kind, loving, gentle, and passionate. You haven’t got a mean bone in your body.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I knew you the boy. He wasn’t capable of anything nasty then, nor are you now.” Reaching out and placing my hand over his pounding heart, I whisper, “The person in here wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
His eyes lift to meet mine and for the first time since he arrived I see a bit of his sparkle return. “It’s been ten years. I didn’t come back for you.”
“And I didn’t try to find you. Don’t take all of this on yourself, Wes. We both could have done things differently. But we’re here now. What do you want to do?”
“I think I want to watch Spiderman with my family.” A smile twitches at the corner of his mouth and I find myself pulled onto his lap. His lips land on mine and I lose myself in his kiss.
Sitting in a room with both Jacob and Wes is something I never thought I’d get to experience, but once I’ve cleaned up our mess from dinner, I head into the living room to join them. Finding them together on the sofa both laughing at the TV feels like a dream. I know Wes is scared. I can see it in his eyes. But I’ve no doubt he’ll be an incredible father.
“I didn’t think we’d ever get him to bed tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so excited.” Once the initial shock wore off, Jacob got a little overexcited by Wes’ appearance and didn’t stop chatting for even a second as he tried to catch his dad up on every moment of his life. He made me get his baby photos out, and some of his very first paintings. It was exhausting.
“It was a little overwhelming, I must admit.”
“I can imagine. I think I could sleep for a week after listening to all that.”
“Sleep wasn’t what I had in mind,” Wes says, his voice dropping and his eyebrows rising seductively.
“Oh?”
“How about you show me your bedroom, too.”
“Hmm…” I mumble, letting him drag me over onto his lap. He starts nuzzling my neck. “We’ll have to be quiet, though.”
“I can’t control how loud you scream, Lace.”
He stands with me in his arms and carries me up the stairs as if I’m weightless. After depositing me on the edge of my bed, he sets about removing his clothes. His t-shirt is pulled over his head and dropped to the floor, quickly followed by his jeans and boxers. My eyes run over every inch of him and it only makes the throbbing between my legs even more intense.
“Why aren’t you naked?” he asks, pinning me with a look that has me wanting to moan his name.
Standing, I go to undo the top button of my shirt, but apparently I’m too slow because in two wide strides, Wes is in front of me and my shirt is ripped open. Buttons scatter on the floor as he drags the fabric down my arms. My pants follow and so does my underwear.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says before throwing me back on the bed and settling between my thighs. His eyes find mine and they’re overflowing with emotion. Some I recognize from all those years ago, some I don’t. “I need to make love to you. But first I need to make you fucking scream.”
Epilogue
Wes
Two months later…
“Come on, we’re going to be late!” I shout up the stairs. I’ve just got back from dropping Jacob off with Lacey’s mom and dad. Our reservation is f
or fifteen minutes from now, but we’re never going to make it if she doesn’t hurry up.
Tonight is exactly ten years since our high school prom, and although that night was the beginning of the end, it’s also something we need to celebrate. If that night hadn’t happened, there would be no Jacob. And although I was scared shitless the day she told me about him, I know without a doubt that becoming a dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve still got my fears about turning into my own father, but with every day that passes I worry a little less. Lacey has every confidence in me that I can be the dad our son deserves, and I’ll do everything I can to prove she’s right. I want to be the man they both need.
I can’t deny that I got very drunk the night she told me I was a dad. When Elijah got home that night, the mess he found in our apartment wasn’t pretty. But once I sobered up, he helped me to see that the news wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to me.
It might have taken a few days, but I soon realized he was right. I quit my job, said a painful goodbye to some of the boys at the youth centre, and booked myself a flight. After looking her up on social media, I knew she still lived in St. Louis. I just had to find her. I couldn’t believe my luck when I knocked on what I knew to be her childhood home and her mom answered. The woman’s eyes almost immediately filled with tears and I was pulled into the tightest hug I think I’ve ever had. It was like she was waiting for me. That thought was confirmed when she pulled back, smacked my shoulder lightly, and said, “It took you long enough to get here.”
She didn’t waste any time and handed over Lacey’s address immediately. I had no idea what to expect when I got there. I deserved for her to slam the door in my face. But I should have known her better than that.
Neither of us acknowledged it, but I moved in that day. I had every intention of getting a hotel, but I never needed to. I found my place in their family almost immediately, and not a second has gone by where I’ve wanted out. I’ve loved every school run, basketball game, and swimming lesson. I’ve found myself a part-time lifeguarding job at the local community centre, but mostly I’m a stay-at-home dad, and I love it. I never knew cooking or cleaning could be so therapeutic.
Flirty Ever Afters: A Flirt Club Collection Page 10