The doorbell sounded. Matthew snatched his hand away from mine as if it had suddenly been set ablaze. I stood, frozen, waiting for someone to answer it. Blake had seemingly disappeared, and Matthew made no move toward it, either.
“Go on,” he said, “it’s for you anyway.”
I shrugged. It felt odd to answer his door like I belonged here, but if that’s what he wanted, then so be it. I took a deep breath, raked my fingers through my pixie cut, and trudged out to the foyer. Matthew’s front door was massive, actually two large wooden doors that when thrown open created a rather spectacular entrance. Whoever was waiting on the porch couldn’t be seen from my position, so I had no idea if I would come face to face with Eric or my dad and Gracie first. Maybe they had waited for one another in the driveway, and they would all three be standing there.
I swung open the right hand door and revealed Gracie and my father.
“Lauren!” she squealed, “It’s so good to see you!”
“I missed you so much!” I replied as enthusiastically as I could muster. Gracie engulfed me in a hug like we hadn’t seen each other in years, not weeks, and I took the opportunity to roll my eyes at my dad. Gracie was, if nothing else, dramatic. My dad shook his head and smiled.
“Come on in, it’s cold out here,” I prompted.
They obliged, and I closed the door behind them. Still no sign of Eric. Blake had emerged during all the commotion, and she stood politely by my side as I gathered their coats and hung them up in the closet. Once that task was completed, I gestured to my roommate.
“This is Blake Snyder. Blake, meet Gracie Alexander and my dad, Doug Jefferies.”
Blake extended her hand and greeted my guests warmly. I could easily see from her friendly demeanor how clients would open up both their homes and pocketbooks to her. She was the kind who acted as if she had never met a stranger. The small amount she had let me know about her past all made sense. I could so see her being the cheerleader type, the most popular girl at school. The beauty that had it all, that everyone would love to hate if only she weren’t so damn nice.
Her eyes lingered over Gracie appraisingly. I was certain I was the only one who noticed. My friend was babbling on incessantly about everything from work to the latest party she had been to, and my head was spinning from her rapid fire commentary. Given the conversation that had taken place before her arrival, I couldn’t blame my roommate for sizing her up. Anyone who was so protective of her sibling would do the same thing.
I took in Gracie’s appearance myself, trying to see her with virgin eyes. She was a knockout with her pale skin, brown eyes and silky jet black hair that traveled down her back. She wore an oversized cream cable knit sweater over a pair of skin tight jeans. Her jeans were barely visible, tucked inside her over the knee black suede boots. Classic Gracie style. From holidays to clubbing, she basically looked the same.
“I love your hair,” Gracie gushed to Blake, “I could never get away with that at the bank.”
Blake smiled. “Chalk up another advantage to being self-employed.”
The oven timer went off and I heard Matthew take the turkey out.
“You guys showed up right on time,” I said, motioning them to follow me. “We just finished up with everything.”
“It smells wonderful, dear,” my father enthused.
“Thanks. I had a lot of help.”
We gathered in the entrance to the kitchen and I exchanged a look with Matthew. I tried to convey as much encouragement as I could with my eyes. Outwardly he looked nonchalant, but internally, I knew he was about ready to vomit. He was so convinced that everyone he came upon would hate him that it was impossible for him to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Seeing that fleeting glance cross his handsome features made me hate his parents intently for ever creating that fear. No one should ever do that to their child, no matter what their mistakes.
“Everyone, this is Matthew Snyder, Blake’s brother. He graciously let me invade his house today, and he’s not bad at taking orders, either.”
Matthew wiped his hands on a towel prior to coming out from behind the counter. I introduced him to my father first, then to Gracie. He also extended his hand, though not with the same confidence as his sister. It was of no bother to either of our guests, who treated him like family anyway. Gracie turned to me and mouthed the words “Oh. My. God.” and “Upgrade.” I jabbed my elbow in her side.
“Ow,” she whispered.
“Be good,” I hissed under my breath.
Blake smirked. She had caught the whole thing. I blushed, but the ringing doorbell allowed me to leave one awkward situation for another. Eric had arrived. I turned back to the foyer, leaving the four others to make small talk while I greeted my boyfriend.
My heart threatened to leap out of my throat as I contemplated the reaction he’d have when I opened the door. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. I placed my shaking hand on the doorknob and pulled it open with more than a little hesitation.
Eric stood on the front porch, his arm propped against the side of the house. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to look cool, or like he owned the place or what, but his swagger didn’t impress me. He took me in hungrily with his eyes upon first glance. I wished I could say it was with longing or adoration, but it smacked more of possession than anything else. We stood there silently for a moment before I stepped aside to let him in.
“Did you find the place okay?” I asked as I grabbed his coat and placed it in the closet.
“Yes,” he responded matter-of-factly, “I have GPS. But why anyone would want to live out in the middle of nowhere is beyond me.”
“This place is like fifteen minutes away from the interstate. That’s hardly the middle of nowhere. There’s more to life than high rises downtown, you know.”
“To each his own, I guess.”
“Eric,” I warned, “please be nice.”
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Within the first ten minutes of my guests arriving, I had already had to warn two of them to be on their best behavior. My father was the only one I didn’t have to worry about babysitting. I supposed Gracie was relatively harmless as well; I only had to keep her from carrying on about how hot Matthew was. As if I didn’t realize that already. I should have been happy that she was so impressed, but the way she had referred to him as an upgrade made me think she was looking at him for me and not her.
Damn it, everyone. I had a boyfriend. Belligerent as he could be at times, Eric was still my boyfriend. If everyone would stop fantasizing about setting me up with Matthew, then maybe my thoughts wouldn’t drift that way as well.
I grabbed Eric’s wrist and drug him into the kitchen. Everyone stopped talking when we appeared.
“Oh, yay, Eric’s here,” Gracie drawled.
Matthew choked on his laughter. As he had alluded to the other night in the car, I could see that he would have no problems getting along with her. While it would be rude at this point for him to make a snide remark, he was obviously living vicariously through her disdain.
Blake moved into action to further cover up her brother’s amusement. “Nice to meet you. I’m Blake.”
She stepped forward and offered her hand. Eric accepted it stiffly.
“Eric Parker,” he replied formally, as if he were meeting with a prospect instead of his girlfriend’s roommate. Everything about him was rigid and fake, from his personality to the way he was dressed. He appeared to have come straight from closing a deal, leaving his suit jacket and tie in the car. His dress shirt and pants were perfectly pressed, his black shoes shiny and unscuffed as though they had yet to see the light of day.
“And this is my brother, Matthew,” Blake continued, unphased.
Matthew nodded at Eric and made no move to step forward or acknowledge his presence further. Eric slid his hand out of Blake’s grip and thrust it into his pocket. The feeling was mutual. The knot in my stomach tightened.
“Well,” I said, “the food’s all ready
, so let’s take a seat in the dining room.”
Because the dining room adjoined the kitchen, I clearly didn’t need to lead anyone toward it. Gracie trailed alongside me, eager to supply her running commentary. “Someone’s being a dick.”
“It’s a little awkward for everyone, yes.” I admitted.
“When are you going to stop sticking up for him? He doesn’t deserve it.”
Don’t cry for him. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you.
Matthew’s words from the night he had found me sprawled on the couch echoed in my head. Hearing the same sentiment from someone else took me back to that night. I remembered the complete feeling of utter desolation, the way Eric had blown it off as if it were a minor offense. The way Matthew had cradled me in his arms, silently providing me with a shoulder to cry on. He had canceled his plans to take care of someone he was afraid hated him.
“Lauren?” Gracie asked, interrupting my reverie.
I jumped to attention. “What?”
“You were miles away, hon. What’s the seating arrangement look like?”
Thankfully, I had already committed this to memory. I was able to rattle off place settings without thought. With our group of six, I thought it best that I sit between Eric and my dad. Opposite us would be Blake, Matthew and Gracie. Of course, Matthew and I would end up seated across from one another. I swore I hadn’t done that for selfish reasons, merely so I could provide encouragement and be a fly on the wall if there was in fact a connection between him and Gracie. The arrangement left Blake with the short straw, sitting across from Eric, but of anyone here she could handle it best. I certainly wouldn’t place him across from Gracie. They’d likely start a food fight with one another.
We had set the food up buffet style rather than take everything to the table. As honorary hostess, I lingered as everyone piled their plates high with food and tried to get a general feel for the dynamic in the room. So far, everyone was playing nice and more or less ignoring Eric, who stood scowling as he waited to serve himself some mashed potatoes. When dishes were full and everyone was making their way back to their assigned seats, I took the opportunity to plate my own food.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Matthew pull out Gracie’s chair for her. Such a simple gesture, but totally swoon-worthy. I half expected Eric to do the same for me just to compete, but he stayed seated as I neared the table. I hovered behind his chair momentarily, even subtly clearing my throat. Still, he paid me no attention. Defeated, I set my plate down and slid into my seat.
I realized that all eyes were on me. Everyone’s plate remained untouched, and they all looked at me with anticipation. My stomach twisted even further.
“Lauren,” Blake said, taking the lead, “why don’t you say a few words before we dig in?”
I shot her a glare and took a deep breath. I hated public speaking, especially when I was put on the spot. As a manager who sometimes had to address her staff in a group setting, it occasionally made my job difficult. Nothing I couldn’t hide by swallowing down my fear and just doing it, though. I reminded myself that these were all people I had spent hours talking to and racked my brain for the right words.
“I wasn’t really planning on saying anything,” I admitted, “so bear with me. Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, and over the years I have so many good memories of spending time with family and friends. It’s always been important to me to share at least this one meal a year with the people that I care about. That, and have an excuse to eat way too much food.”
Everyone except for Eric either smiled or chuckled softly. He stared at his plate, his eyes almost glassy; I wondered if he was even listening.
“This year has been full of change for me in particular. So many good things have happened to me that I have even more reasons than usual to be thankful. Because of my promotion, I’ve had the opportunity to fall in love with a new city and meet some wonderful new friends. So even though there’s more distance between some of us now than before, I wasn’t willing to give up on that tradition. And out of that stubbornness came the idea for having all of you here, together in the same room. Kind of like my old and new lives combining.
“Even though this was organically my idea, today never would have happened without help from Blake and Matthew. As you may or may not have noticed, Blake is an excellent interior designer and she is responsible for the way everything looks all throughout this house. And Matthew graciously allowed me to come in and take over his kitchen while I bossed him around the last couple days. The two of them have helped keep me sane when I needed it, and it’s like I’ve known both of them for years.
“I wanted all of you to meet each other so that those of you that I’ve left behind in mileage can see that I’ve found a good home here. And for the two newest members of my inner circle to be more than just a faceless name to the ones back in Indy. In a way, we’re all family now, and I love each and every one of you. That being said, I didn’t slave away for nothing. Let’s eat.”
“That was pretty beautiful for being on the fly, Lauren,” my father said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You make me proud of you every day. I’m so glad that I get to be on this journey with you and watch you emerge into the person I knew you could be. In so many ways, you remind me of your mother.”
“I know,” I whispered softly, biting my lip to keep from tearing up. It was too late. As my vision blurred, I looked down at my plate. Matthew kicked me under the table. I looked up, surprised.
“Hey,” he said, attempting to lighten the mood, “I couldn’t have ruined dinner that badly.”
I snorted.
“And don’t think by inviting us here that I’m not going to demand to see your real house,” Gracie chimed in.
“It’s close,” Blake volunteered. “Maybe we can take a caravan over after a while. I’ll admit this was my idea. My darling brother has a better kitchen than I do. And a huge dining room table. But my house is nothing to sneeze at, either.”
“The kitchen and the table weren’t enough to convince her to stay.” Matthew added.
“Nor are they enough to keep you here. I swear you should just move in with us. You’re over there all of the time anyway.”
Beside me, Eric speared his turkey violently with his fork. So he had been listening. I gave Blake a look of warning, trying to convey with my eyes that the hole she was digging was already deep enough. Thankfully, she caught my drift and fell silent.
“This food is excellent, Lauren,” Gracie enthused, “as usual.”
“Thanks.”
My voice sounded hollow, and it felt as though the room temperature had decreased by about twenty degrees. All I could see was Eric out of the corner of my eye, looking as though he could kill something. Or someone.
As we ate, the table broke off into little pods of conversation. I flitted from group to group, adding in something when it was appropriate. Gracie began talking to my dad about work, then she switched gears and laughed at something Matthew whispered in her ear. I could tell he had an effect on her, as I imagined he did on most members of the opposite sex. However, I couldn’t get a good reading on him. Polite, yes. Attracted, not sure. My dad engaged Matthew in a discussion and I tensed, knowing how nervous he had been earlier. I gave him an encouraging look and continued on talking to Blake, not wanting to pry.
No one spoke to Eric nor did he interject in anyone else’s conversation. Since he had shown up, he had done very little to contribute to anything around him. He wasn’t even trying. He was merely taking up space. My stomach had slowly untwisted and given way to a burning anger.
I hurriedly finished my meal and rose from the table, taking Eric’s empty plate along with mine to the sink. Determined to put an end to his stupidity, I stalked back over to the table and tapped his shoulder.
“I need to talk to you in private,” I growled into his ear.
He shrugged and pushed his chair back. I led him down the hall and into the gue
st bathroom, locking the door behind us. I stood there for a moment, glaring at him as I composed my thoughts.
“Well?” he asked cockily.
“What the hell are you doing out there?” I asked quietly, though my tone conveyed anything but softness. I knew that our departure had been noticed, and I didn’t want to hamper any progress that might be going on in the other room by holding a knock down drag out fight with my boyfriend.
“My mother always told me that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
“And what is so bad about it here, Eric? Everyone else seems to be doing just fine.”
“Apparently everyone else didn’t notice that you professed your love to another man at the dinner table. I did.”
“Eric, that’s not what I meant.”
“Sure it’s not. You’re just friends, right? He’s just over at your place all of the time because he loves his sister so much. It has nothing to do with you at all. Right?”
“He’s very close with Blake. That didn’t change when I moved in.”
“Sure. Whatever. Go ahead and defend him. Lord knows you don’t defend me.”
“Some of your actions are inexcusable.”
“I’m not an ex-felon. You’ll forgive that when you hang minor offenses over my head? What have I done to you that’s worse than the mistakes that asshole made?”
“Eric-”
“Nothing. I’ve done nothing to that degree. But because he’s a pretty face, you forgive him for everything he’s ever done. He’s the broken and brooding hero of your fairy tale, and I’ve become the villain.”
“Eric, it’s not like that.”
“What is it like? Don’t give me that sob story about you trying to give him redemption. You have no right to act like you’re God. Your forgiveness means absolutely nothing. I don’t care about his fucked up family life. You can’t fix it. You shouldn’t even try.”
“Eric, calm down,” I begged.
His voice had risen to near full volume, and the look in his eyes scared me beyond belief. Never before had I seen him this angry. Though in the ten years we’d been together he hadn’t ever been violent towards me, I regretted my decision to lock the door. That was me, the eternal optimist. To think that I could have an intelligent conversation with him about a subject that had already caused me much grief. I backed myself away from him slowly, until I felt the support of the door behind me. Carefully, I reached my hand behind my back and turned the doorknob. The lock popped open, and I nudged the door open just a crack.
Intoxicated Page 17