by Cassie Allee
Gray still looked pissed. “You look like shit. Go get some sleep.” Then he vanished and I didn’t see him again for the rest of the night, and for once, I missed the hits of the 80’s.
The next morning I called the school and pretended to be Mom to explain that I had gotten sick at school after just arriving and I was going to take another day off just to be sure I was well. They didn’t question it at all since I hardly ever missed a day of school. After I called them I sent Risk a text saying, “I’m not coming today, but I would still like to hang out tonight. You can come by my place after school if that’s okay.”
Risk sent me a text right back and it made me squeal like a little girl. “I can’t wait. Your house is fine, but don’t be trying to get me into your bedroom. I can only resist so much temptation. ;)”
Oh my lord. He’s going to break me.
Just after I was done gushing over Risk, Gray appeared from wherever he had been. I wasn’t used to him being gone when I went to bed and I had tossed and turned all night without him singing me to sleep. I missed him and all I wanted to do was give him a big awkward hug.
“Why aren’t you ready for school?” He said a little bitterly.
“Well if I’m going to have ghosts sucking energy from me than I suppose I should get some rest, so today I’m sleeping as much as I can.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” Gray said and he seemed to relax.
The entire morning and afternoon we spent on the couch together. Gray watched cheesy movies while I dozed in and out. At one point in the day I actually slept for a solid three hours, which was a lot considering all the cat naps I had in between. When it was time for the school day to be over I went upstairs to get ready. I showered, brushed my teeth, and dried my hair some. I tried to pull it straight but it was no use. As soon as I had my makeup applied my hair had kinked up to its usual waviness. Gray helped me pick out some clothes. We decided on some black leggings and a pastel blue tunic top. I felt cute and comfortable.
About five minutes later I heard Risk knock on the door. When I opened it I saw he had a huge smile on his face. “I’ve been thinking about you all day. School definitely sucks without you.” He hugged me and then walked right passed me to inspect my house. I always kept the house tidy while Mom was gone. Something about clutter made Gray and I both anxious, so I wasn’t worried about cleaning up when Risk confirmed that he would be coming over.
He looked into the living room and then walked to the opposite side of the stairs to look into the kitchen. I stood near the front door watching him as he satisfied his curiosity.
“Is your room upstairs?” He asked.
I blushed as I nodded my head. Without hesitating Risk climbed the stairs two at a time while I struggled to follow him. “What are you doing? Don’t you have boundaries or…manners?”
Risk turned to wink at me and then walked into the first room that he saw. My bedroom door was open and from the hallway you could clearly see that it was a teenager’s room. My bed was pushed up against the far wall to allow as much floor room as possible. To the right was my desk that housed my laptop and hanging on the wall above it was a dry erase calendar with my school assignments and tests written on it. My closet was open so that you could see the large amount of clothes that I had accumulated, most of which I never wore, and a bookshelf was directly to the right as you walked into the door and it was overflowing with all sorts of books.
“Is this it?” Risk asked as he looked me over.
I was chewing my lip and looking the place over to make sure nothing embarrassing had been left out. I nodded at him.
“It’s nice…and homey.” He smiled and went to plop himself down on my bed. As soon as he was comfortable Gray appeared next to him and snuggled into his side.
“Oh my God!” I burst laughing.
Risk looked a little self-conscious and looked down to check and see if his zipper was down. That only made me laugh harder. Gray had rolled onto his back on the bed and had started to laugh with me. When we settled ourselves down I realized that I had absolutely no logical explanation for my laughter. I couldn’t tell Risk what I had seen so before he could ask me what was so funny I blurted out, “Are you hungry? If this is a date than I plan on cooking for you.” Risks face went from confusion to cheesy grin at the mention of food.
We went back downstairs to the kitchen and I brought chicken out of the refrigerator and began to cut it into small chunks. I gave Risk a cutting board and a knife and had him grab the bell peppers and onion. I loved watching him chop up the vegetables. It seemed domestic and normal. When I was done cutting the chicken I threw the pieces into a pan and began to sauté them. I was caught up in my cooking when I felt Risk come up behind me and slip his arms around my waist. I wasn’t used to real human contact so I jumped, just like I had when he snuck up on me at school.
Risk leaned down and whispered in my ear. “You’re safe. I just really like watching you cook.”
I was acutely aware of how close his body was to mine and I felt a knot forming in my stomach. He started making circles on my stomach with his finger and I felt my breathing quicken and my nipples harden. I could feel his groin pressed against my ass and it made me ache for him. I laid my head back into his chest and I tried to relax myself. Risk reached around and shut the burner off on the stove. “The chicken’s done.” He said and then spun me around so that we were face to face, stomach to stomach. I gasped and gazed into his darkened stare. He lowered his lips until they were almost touching mine. By that time my body had begun to throb and I thought that I would rather have Risk for dinner than the chicken. I was praying that he would take me right there on the kitchen floor. Just before our lips made contact I heard someone come in the front door.
I panicked and pushed Risk away from me. My head felt dizzy and I’m sure my cheeks were flushed. “Um, hi Mom…” She looked like she was about to try and save me from, what she assumed was, an attacker, but then she took one good look at Risk and her jaw dropped. She composed herself quickly and put on a sweet motherly face. “Oh hello honey, who’s your…friend?”
“This is Risk. He’s the boy that’s taking me to prom.” Risk seemed completely at ease and stuck his hand out in greeting while still keeping one arm around my waist. “Nice to meet you Mrs. Chase.” He said confidently.
Mom blushed a little as she looked Risk over. “Risk, that’s an interesting name.”
He quickly replied, “I was named by my birth mother. I’m not sure why she picked it, but my parents always said that she had problems during her pregnancy and she risked her life to have me.” The confidence in his features was betrayed by the crack in his voice.
“Oh, well that’s very interesting. It must be comforting to know that she cared enough to give you a chance at life.”
He looked up at her and very bluntly said, “Sometimes my parents call me stupid Risk, so I guess it’s not such a charming story.” He forcefully brightened his face to lighten the moment. “So I guess it’s a good thing that my mother wasn’t the one to actually give birth to me.” Then he went back to dicing peppers. Mom gave me a look that told me that she was embarrassed, but she was clearly happy that he wasn’t the monster man that she had imagined I would be taking to prom.
We all sat down and had dinner together once the food was done. It was such a pleasant time that I forgot all about being tired and my impending doom. Risk had let it slip at one point in the conversation that I had missed school that day, but after a quick explanation to Mom that I just wasn’t feeling great, but felt better after I rested all morning, she was alright with it. She always knew that she could trust me to make smart decisions for myself. At least that much she could count on from me. Gray sat on the floor in a corner watching us eat with a proud look on his face. I could tell that he liked Risk and he was happy to see me mingling with someone that was living.
After dinner, Mom explained that she had been flying around the country all week for meetings and that
she was exhausted so she went upstairs to freshen up and get some sleep. I couldn’t believe that she left me down stairs with a gorgeous boy when she had nearly caught us doing something dirty just a few hours earlier. Well my mind was definitely on something dirty, I didn’t know for sure about him.
Risk and I settled in on the couch to watch the classic horror movie “People Under the Stairs.” I was a sucker for a good old fashioned horror film. They just don’t make scary movies like they used to. Gray saw Risk and I start to get a bit more comfortable with each other while we were snuggling so he vanished…probably just upstairs. Almost like Risk knew that Gray had gone and we were completely in private, he picked me up and set me on his lap so that he was facing forward and I was sideways with my rear end pressed into his groin and my legs extended on the couch in front of me. I looked down at him and he said, “Sorry about earlier. You just looked so at ease while you were cooking and it was so comforting and…sexy. You have a way with making me feel good about myself with just a look. I never thought I’d have a chance with someone has beautiful as you. I’m not sure what we’re doing yet, but I’m glad we’re doing it. And I want you to know that I’ll never push you to do anything that you don’t want to do. I don’t want you to ever hesitate to tell me no if you want to.”
As soon as the last word was out of his mouth I plastered my lips to his and he instantly responded. He tangled his fingers in my thick waves of hair and tugged a little. I felt him growing beneath me as our kiss intensified and I swung my leg around so that I was straddling him. Even though we were fully clothed I could feel his hardness against me. I began to throb against him as I heard a soft moan that was muffled by our kiss. I started to rock my hips to try and satisfy the ache between my thighs. The harder I pressed against him, the better it felt and the more he squirmed. Just when I thought that I couldn’t take it anymore he pushed me back, breaking the precious contact of our mouths. It was my first real kiss and I had made it to second base. Holy crap!
Risk looked at me through his still darkened eyes. “What’s your secret Marlee?” That really caught me off guard. If I told him my secret, all of this would be over so soon. He would think that I was a lunatic.
“I thought we agreed to wait…until we knew each other better.”
He shook his head as if he were trying to clear the impure thoughts of what we could be doing together instead of talking. When he looked back into my eyes I could see how conflicted he was. “I feel things for you Marlee, that I’ve never felt before and I barely know you. It doesn’t make sense… It scares me.”
I clumsily made my way off of his lap and sat beside him, snuggling into his side and laying my head on his shoulder. “I can’t tell you what my secret is yet. It isn’t safe, but if you want to tell me your secret than I’m more than willing to listen.”
Risk was silent for a long time. He seemed to be deciding if he wanted to tell me or not, but then he began to speak. “Well you know that I was adopted, but it wasn’t right in the hospital like most people think adoptions work. When my mother found out that she was pregnant she freaked out and left her parents’ house here. She was just a teenager and she was scared. She spent her pregnancy in Alabama with her sister, my adopted mother, but when it came time to have me, she came back here. She wanted to tell my father why she took off and that they had a son. Right after she gave birth to me she contacted him. When he got to the hospital he took one look at me and spat on the floor before he told my mother never to contact him again. After that, my mom kept me for a few months, but my mother suffered from postpartum depression and I was one of those babies that wouldn’t sleep and wouldn’t stop crying. She went to her sister and begged her to take me. She told her that she didn’t want to hurt me, but she hated me and couldn’t stand to look at me. My parents told her that they would look after me until she started feeling better, but that night she killed herself. My parent’s said that only a child of a demon would cause someone so much pain that they couldn’t even stand to live anymore. I suppose they’re right… and that’s exactly how they’ve treated me my whole life, like some kind of abomination.”
NEW BEGINNINGS
Tears were flowing from my eyes by the time Risk was finished with his story. I couldn’t believe that the woman who had posed as his mother for almost his entire life had been so hell bent on making him believe that he was evil. Risk was anything but evil.
“You’re not who you think you are.” I tried drying my eyes but my tears seeped out steadily.
“You don’t know that Marlee. I’ve not been a very good person.” He said and lowered his head in a shameful way.
“You haven’t had the luxury of having anyone to look up to. Your parents have made a mess of themselves.”
“When I was back home I tried distracting myself with anything that I could. Sex and drugs were a crutch for me. I screwed so many girls and did so much dope that we had to move here just so I wouldn’t get killed by a scorned husband or a drug dealer. I know that you don’t see me as that person, but I was, and I can’t take it back. All I can do is get my shit together, and that’s what I’m doing.”
I flinched at his confession. I couldn’t believe that the man sitting beside me was the same person who could do all of those things. Risk saw my reaction and said, “Yeah, I thought that would scare you away. Anyway, thanks for listening. I’ll leave you alone.” He got up to leave and I didn’t stop him. I wasn’t sure what to think about the bomb that had just been dropped on me. I needed to talk to Gray before I made any decisions. I knew that he would know what I should do.
Risk walked out the door without another word and I hobbled upstairs in a stupor. When I walked through the door to my bedroom Gray jumped up from my desk chair. “What the hell happened, Spud?” I explained my conversation with Risk in detail and Gray listened patiently. When I was finished Gray appeared to be chewing something over before he said, “That may have been who he was before, but I think that you can agree that he isn’t the kind of person who would do those things now. Also, he’s keeping something else from you, Marlee. It isn’t really my place to tell, but I think it will help your decision if you know…”
I was confused about why Gray would know something about Risk that I didn’t. I gaped at him as he continued, “Risk knows about me.” Before he could finish what he was saying I exploded. “What the fuck? Are you serious? Why hasn’t he told me? Why haven’t you told me?” After I finally shut my mouth Gray finished what he was telling me, “He doesn’t see me or hear me like you do, but he can sense that I’m around him and he’s so strong in that sense that he can almost physically feel me. He thinks he’s crazy, Mar.”
I didn’t know what to say next. I couldn’t grasp the fact that someone else would finally be able to understand me, and not only was it another living person, it was someone that I really enjoyed spending time with. But if he thought that he was crazy, he was going to think that I was completely bonkers the way I carried on with ghosts like they were friends and family. Oh shit, how am I ever going to tell him my secret now? My inner self was throwing a huge tantrum over her unfair life.
“I can’t tell him Gray, I can’t ever tell him. He’ll think I’m nuts and try to have me put away!”
“You don’t know that Marlee. Maybe he just doesn’t have the confidence in himself that he has in you. Maybe he needs someone to share this with.”
“How do you know about this? How can you tell?”
Gray crinkled his nose, “It’s hard to explain. I guess I first noticed when I saw him looking around like someone was watching him. He would almost always find his way to looking directly at me. I confirmed my suspicion today when I laid beside him on your bed. I did it to be goofy and make you laugh, but it was also kind of an experiment to see if what I suspected was true. Sure enough, as soon as I came into contact with him he stiffened and I’m assuming that as soon as I left the room he felt at ease enough to do thing like kiss you, or more. It’s all right ther
e in black and white. He has certain abilities, though not as strong as yours, which make him part of our world too.”
I felt like the most ungrateful person in the world. I had always kind of felt like the universe owed me something because I was gifted and I was doing work that wasn’t supposed to be my burden. I never realized how much worse it could be for me. I had Gray to guide me for my entire life and explain ways that I could help people with what I could do. Risk thought he was crazy and had absolutely no one to talk to about it. I felt a little better knowing his story, but I didn’t know how to tell him that I knew what he could do, and that it was okay, without giving my own secret away. I had to make a decision, but it didn’t have to be right away. I needed to do some research first.
I got on the internet after explaining to Gray where I thought we needed to start with our search. We needed to find Little Dirty Boys only living relative, his dad. We knew only a few things about him; he was alive, he was in an old folk’s home, and his last place of residence. I searched for a newspaper article of the house fire and when I finally found one I was relieved to see that the previous owners were listed. Dale Harper was his name and when I did the math found that he would be seventy-three years old. It didn’t say where he went after that, but it wouldn’t be hard to call the surrounding facilities and ask about him since I actually had a name to ask for. When I was confident that we would be able to track him within a few days Gray reminded me that I needed to sleep. I knew I needed some rest too, and sleep was the only thing that was going to keep me from being sucked dry of energy.
I was glad to have Gray back that night to sing to me again. Ironically his song choice that evening was “Love Shack” by the B-52’s. I laughed at him before rolling over and giving in to sleep.
Gray woke me up for school the next day after seeing that the alarm clock wasn’t going to do the trick. I mumbled some gibberish and sat up. I had the nightmare again, but I wasn’t making the mistake of keeping it from Gray. He assured me that there really was something to be said for reoccurring dreams. Dreams are a portal of some sorts, and they are also part of our bodies way of communicating things that it had felt or seen, but hadn’t registered with us at the time. Our subconscious holds so much information that we could almost predict the future if we could only tap into it. Unless you’re a real psychic, dreams are the only way our subconscious can communicate.