The Bellator Saga: The First Trilogy (Dissident, Conscience, and Sojourn)

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The Bellator Saga: The First Trilogy (Dissident, Conscience, and Sojourn) Page 39

by Cecilia London


  “While he’s doing political stuff with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “In front of your staff?”

  “He only does it when they’re within earshot.”

  Caroline laughed. “Good for Tom. But that was never your title. Was it?”

  “I gave some serious thought to keeping my name when we got married.”

  “You’re a bundle of surprises, Chrissy. I would have never guessed that.”

  “My life is a rich tapestry, Caroline. And it’s delightful when you and Tom use that…term for me but please, not in public.”

  Caroline laughed. Christine couldn’t even say her own nickname out loud. “I know. Your reputation and all.”

  “It’s not only about me. You’re quite intelligent but you’re also very colloquial. It’s a useful skill to have, and it’s a big part of why the electorate responds to you. But you have some especially critical eyes on you now and they might not find you as charming as those of us who know you well.”

  She’d been hoping to escape that part of being more high profile. “Why wasn’t this an issue when I was the keynote speaker? I was all over the media map last year.”

  Christine shifted her gaze. “You were very angry back then, and it showed. But you handled yourself a lot better than you thought, even with your occasional lapses in discretion. The spotlight on you is considerably brighter now than during and after the convention. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  Caroline thought of the tabloid photographers who had camped out in front of her house in Rockville the day she returned to work. She never thought they’d pay that kind of attention to a low level politician but she clearly misjudged their nerve. “You have a point.”

  “You’ve got to be more self-aware. Your default is to be open and friendly as opposed to guarded.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “It’s a wonderful thing. I’m thrilled that you’re so happy. But it makes you susceptible to predators.”

  “What am I, Bambi?”

  “No. You’re a marvelous person and I don’t want to see you get raked over the coals by opportunists and doomsayers.”

  Caroline was touched by Christine’s concern for her, but it was still contradictory. It would be impossible for her to retain her identity while keeping her hackles up all the time. “So, stop being so trusting?”

  “A smidge of bitchy wouldn’t hurt.”

  “You can teach that too? Your process sounds complicated. How much is this program going to cost me?”

  “It cannot be taught. It is known.” Christine grinned. “And deep down inside, Representative Caroline Gerard is a giant bitch. The force is strong in you, my dear. I can feel it in my bones.”

  “Then let’s start this instructional series.”

  “It’s going to take a lot of work. I don’t know if I can get you into shape by next January.”

  “Jack will appreciate any efforts you can make.”

  Christine grimaced. “Yes, he’ll be thrilled if you start acting more like me.”

  “As will all the fine residents of the Commonwealth, I’m sure.”

  “My approval ratings are almost as high as yours, smart guy.”

  “That’s because you’re best friends with America’s Political Sweetheart, Dr. Spencer.”

  Christine was trying to keep a straight face, which was why it was even more amusing when she laughed. “Oh, Punky. You could afford to have a bit more humility. But the first goal is for you to stop cursing so much.”

  “Fuck that,” Caroline said. “You’re failing miserably.”

  “I haven’t even started yet.”

  “That’s because you know a lost cause when you see one. Move on to goal two.”

  “Just wait. I’ll have you sipping tea and lounging gracefully in a Victorian dress by the time we’re done with the campaign.”

  “Not likely.”

  Christine pressed her thumb and forefinger to the bridge of her nose, a sure sign that she was getting frustrated. A bit unsettling, the way she drifted from entertained to annoyed so quickly. Jeanine had her work cut out for her. “I worry about you, Caroline. You need to have more than just a flip reaction when you’re tested. Many, many politicos have no sense of humor, particularly when it comes to women. Some of these bloggers and pundits are sharks, and they will destroy you for sport.”

  A thinly veiled comment meant to refer to something very specific. “What are you telling me?”

  “I’m telling you to stop laughing at press conferences when interviewers insult you, even if it’s indirectly.”

  “Oh. You saw that. What would you have done?”

  “I’m pondering that one. It wouldn’t have been pleasant.”

  Caroline could only imagine what Christine would unleash if someone asked a question like that at one of her press conferences. “The alternative to laughter would have been for me to tell the guy that the only reason Jack wanted to get married so soon was so we could stop using a condom.”

  Christine made a face. “That would still be an extraordinarily inappropriate response to such a question. More importantly, I have no desire to know the details of your sex life, especially since it appears as if you’ve thrown your Catechism out the window.”

  Caroline wasn’t sure if light kink was a venial or mortal sin, but she was willing to risk her soul anyway. Moral turpitude had proven to be so damn enjoyable that it was worth a little extra time in Purgatory. “We’re getting married in less than a month. At least we’re not going to be unmarried cohabitants anymore, right?”

  “Sin is a relative term to the two of you. That is obvious.”

  Funny how Christine could almost read her mind and translate her words like that. “So, you don’t want to know what I did to Jack after he gave me my fabulous birthday present?”

  “Dear Lord, no. I hope you’re going to confession before the wedding ceremony.”

  Caroline laughed. “I probably should.”

  Christine gave her another annoyed look and got up off the couch, throwing their empty wrappers in the garbage and shaking the Ghirardelli bag at Caroline. “Don’t forget to tell Father Mike about stealing my chocolate. I have half a mind to hide these from you,” she said sternly.

  “Good luck. I know how your brain works. I will always find your secret candy stash.”

  Christine put the chocolate back in a drawer and sat down at her desk. “I hate it when you’re right. Anyway, when it comes to this media overload you’ll be fine. Just take my advice and they’ll back away eventually.”

  “That’s no fun at all.”

  “Charm their pants off, then.”

  Metaphorically, of course. Caroline could manage that assignment. “That’s more my speed. Do you think we’re making the right decision?”

  “In what sense?”

  She knew Christine wasn’t all that gung ho about their impending wedding. Caroline managed to convince Jack to let it take place at the church the Sullivans attended in Bryn Mawr. The priest agreed to it as long as they joined the parish, which they readily did. He’d done them a huge favor by fitting them in; weddings at Our Lady of Good Counsel usually had to be booked over a year in advance. It was the only time Caroline had ever used her position as a public servant for her private benefit.

  The ceremony was only three weeks away. They agreed to keep it small but Jack had taken many steps to make it extravagant, although he grudgingly acquiesced to her demand to have the reception in his ballroom. Caroline was at the point where she wanted to get it over with. Christine had made some random comments here and there, nothing too specific, but enough for Caroline to pick up on the fact that she had some serious reservations about the whole thing.

  Caroline stuck to the safer topic. “The gubernatorial race. Do you think Jack can win?”

  Christine leaned back. “With you by his side? Without question.”

  “Do you think I’m silly for giving up my seat?”

  Jack hadn’
t been exaggerating. It was a lot to throw away. The seat would have been Caroline’s for as long as she wanted it. She nipped the leadership talk in the bud quickly when she announced she wouldn’t be running for re-election. Now she was catching heat from progressives and activists who thought she was setting a bad example by giving up her career.

  “I understand why you’re not running again,” Christine said. “You may be getting some flak from your feminist buddies but I get it.”

  “Feminism is supposed to be about choices,” Caroline grumbled. She had learned long ago that it was impossible to please everyone, but found some of her critics’ hypocritical bluster infuriating.

  Christine rocked back and forth in her chair and crossed her arms. “Not to get all mushy on you, but it’s not going to be the same on Capitol Hill when you’re gone.”

  “Wow, someone’s certain she’s winning. Already planning on moving over to Dirksen, eh?”

  Christine arched an eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m going to lose?”

  Caroline smiled. “You’re going to blow your opponent away. But things would have changed anyway, Chrissy. You’d be in the upper chamber with Ellen, leaving me all by my lonesome in the House.”

  “I know.” Christine looked out the window. “But we would have been in the same city. I still would have searched you out every day. I’m just going to miss you when you’re in Harrisburg. That’s all.”

  That was probably about as mushy as Christine was going to get. “You make it sound as if a victory for Jack is a foregone conclusion,” said Caroline.

  “You don’t think so?”

  “I honestly have no idea.”

  “Right now he’s polling well ahead of his presumed opponent. I think he’s okay unless he does something stupid.”

  Caroline tried not to spend too much time thinking about Jack’s presumed opponent. Jeffrey Murdock. Not only her least favorite fellow Democrat, but a loathsome person as well. He had yet to declare but would probably be holding his own press conference soon. She decided to lighten the mood. “Something stupid? You mean, like marrying a liberal?”

  Christine smiled. “I think that’s going to help more than hurt. But enough of that. What brings you by my fine office anyway?”

  Fine office indeed. Caroline looked around. “Oh, before I forget. Ethan Allen called. They want their showroom back.”

  “I don’t like spartan office furniture,” Christine said haughtily. “So what if I brought my own desk in here?”

  And redecorated the entire room, from the look of it. “Isn’t this a rental space?”

  Christine swung her legs up on the desk. “It’s my show. I do what I want.”

  Caroline smiled. Christine was a complete control freak, much like a certain man who had purchased a far too large engagement ring for his fiancée. Caroline supposed that was why she had such a hard time getting along with Jack, although she’d never say that to Christine’s face.

  “Hey, do you want to see my wedding dress?” she asked.

  “Oh, please. I hope that’s the sole reason you came over to see me.”

  “I can’t think of any other excuse to spend time with you.” Caroline stood up and handed Christine her phone.

  Christine swept her legs back under the desk and scrolled through the page on Caroline’s smartphone. “It’s lovely, Punky.” She gave Caroline a devilish look. “But should you really be wearing white?”

  Caroline lightly backhanded Christine on the arm. “Don’t be a jerk.”

  “That’s not very nice. And from America’s Political Sweetheart, no less. The press may need to reconsider that nickname they coined for you.”

  Caroline snatched her phone out of Christine’s hands, sitting back down on the couch. “Eh, I don’t care what you think.” She grinned mischievously. “Shouldn’t have worn white for the first one either.”

  They both started laughing.

  Christine’s eyes were shining. “Those nuns you had in grade school must be crying their eyes out every day over what you’ve become,” she said, still laughing.

  “Praying for the salvation of my soul, more likely. And technically the dress is a cream color.”

  “Whatever makes you feel better. Sinner,” Christine added.

  “We’re all sinners, Chrissy.” Caroline laughed again. “Except for you.”

  Christine wiped her eyes. “Not to digress, and please God, no more innuendos, but how is that birthday present working out? Does it turn on a dime?”

  Jack had gotten her a dark blue BMW as a gift. She’d always wanted a luxury sedan but could never justify spending that amount of money on a vehicle. It would have been too impractical and extravagant. But it was a tiny expense to him. Caroline was surprised that liberal bloggers hadn’t raked him over the coals for it. Normally they’d be all over a high profile Republican who gave that kind of unnecessary, ridiculously expensive gift to anyone, especially before an election.

  Maybe she was still in a post-shooting grace period, or maybe they’d decided to lay off because the recipient of said gift was a Democrat. Or they were too focused on ripping apart her feminist street cred. She wasn’t going to analyze it too much but she knew the phase wouldn’t last. Once the campaign started going they’d probably be back in full force, taking her along for the libelous ride.

  She fucked Jack’s brains out in the garage after he gave it to her. His words, not hers. One of the best sexual experiences of his life, he said afterward. A very high compliment, since her left arm was still weak. She decided not to tell her surgeon about tearing off her sling and going to town, muscle damage be damned.

  Caroline blushed just thinking about it. “It’s okay.”

  “Just okay?” Christine raised her eyebrows.

  “It’s awesome,” she gushed, trying to contain her glee and failing miserably. “I can’t wait to see how fast it goes. I never thought I’d be able to afford a car like that.”

  “Good for you, then.”

  Caroline studied her closely. “How are you dealing with all of this? You worry me, you know.”

  “What do you mean?” Christine asked. “You bleeding all over me at the Capitol, you getting engaged, Jack running for governor, Susannah eloping, Jess leaving for college…a lot of things have happened in the past few months. You’re not the only person I think about.” She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on her desk. “Although you have been consuming a lot of my time lately. You’re nothing but trouble.”

  “I know,” Caroline said. “I don’t know why you put up with me. But are you really okay with the whole idea of our marriage?”

  Christine stared down at her hands. Caroline gave it a minute before she said anything else. She really didn’t like that Christine was so unhappy about the wedding. “I love him, Chrissy.” She reached under her glasses and wiped her eyes, which had suddenly gotten very damp. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

  Christine toyed with a random tchotchke on her desk. “I know,” she said quietly. “I just need a little more time to get used to the idea. I think you’re moving a little quickly but I understand why you’re doing it.” She looked Caroline in the eyes. “I trust your judgment. I’m not sure I trust his.”

  Still a pretty big slam on both of them, but Caroline knew what Christine meant. According to Caroline’s chief of staff, Christine had exploded at Jack in the hospital waiting room while Caroline was in surgery. This was even after he arranged to fly Tom to get her children to the hospital as quickly as possible. Jack wouldn’t talk about it. Caroline knew Christine wouldn’t want to discuss it either. And Jen, who had been rattled by the entire incident, refused to give her specifics. Even Kathleen wouldn’t tell her what had happened. Caroline found them all incredibly frustrating.

  “Let’s work on your relationship with Jack,” she said. “He really wants to get along with you, Chrissy. It’s important to him. He understands how much you and your family mean to me, and he’s very grateful for what you d
id at the Capitol.”

  Christine looked down at her desk again. Caroline knew better than to mention what had happened at the Visitor’s Center. Chrissy barely wanted to talk about it after Caroline got home from the hospital. To the best of Caroline’s knowledge, she still hadn’t spoken about it with Tom.

  “I can’t promise anything, Caroline,” Christine said. “I’m trying very hard to keep an open mind, because I can see how much he loves you.”

  “You two will be able to spend loads of quality time together during campaign season,” Caroline said. “Maybe that will help.”

  Christine groaned. “I hate campaigning. Being around Jack is going to make it ten times worse. I’m kidding, of course.”

  Caroline wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not. She decided to let it go. “I’d like to talk to you about something. I’ve mentioned it to Jeanine and she thinks it’s a great idea.”

  “What is it?” Christine asked warily.

  “Hold on.” Caroline leaned forward on the couch. “Jeanine!” she hollered. “Come in here!”

  “I appreciate you using your indoor voice, Caroline. My office is not a barn.”

  Jeanine rushed in and closed the door behind her. “This needs to be private.”

  Christine sat back in her desk chair, eyeing them with unease. “What have you two been plotting?”

  “We’re going to set up a press conference soon,” Caroline said. “So I can make my endorsement official.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “My endorsement. See, it’s this thing politicians do for other politicians. It’s a tiresome dance but-”

  “You want to endorse me?”

  “Of course I want to endorse you. Do you think I’m going to endorse your opponent?”

  Christine was visibly bewildered. “Are you joking?”

  “No.” Caroline paused. “I thought it was a good idea.” She glanced at Jeanine, who suddenly appeared to be exceedingly uncomfortable. “Maybe it isn’t.”

  Christine examined her closely. “Are you certain you want to do that? I’m much more conservative than you. It might not play as well as your vote back in January.”

  “It’s important to me. I’m not running for re-election. I don’t have to answer to anyone. And let’s be fair, I’m damn near untouchable right now.”

 

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