“Oh, Shane, that must have killed you.”
Her hand on his arm was warm and comforting. Too bad it wouldn’t last. “I caught the first flight to Minneapolis and rented a car. She was being cared for in our family home. Neither my brother nor my father was there. Just some strangers who made sure she had the proper dose of morphine.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“She was only lucid for short intervals, but it was as if she’d bottled up all these things she needed to get off her chest before she died. She told me she’d always known about my father’s mistresses. Dozens over the years. She’d stopped keeping track…or caring. She’d done the best she could to be happy, knowing full well that she’d traded security, a nice house and a prominent place in society for a life of her own.”
Jenna sighed. “My mother gave up her dreams to live my father’s. I think this was pretty common of women in their generation.”
Her kindness made what he was about to say all the more difficult. “I remember feeling so sorry for her, and she kept saying that I was her crowning glory. The one who got away before becoming totally corrupted by the darkness. She blamed my father’s side of the family. Like it was a blood curse or something. I thought her bitterness or the cancer had poisoned her mind, but then she mumbled something about birthing a rapist.”
Jenna’s hand fell away. “How could she…why would she think—?”
“He told her. Adam went home when he left Brookings. Apparently, he’d panicked. Dad was gone, so Mom heard his confession, so to speak.”
The night had gone still, even the crickets were silent. “She told you this?”
“The next time she was lucid, I asked her directly. She wept. She said she’d spent every moment since wondering if he would do it again. Ruin another woman’s life. Get arrested and wind up in jail. I thought she was going to die right that minute she was so upset. I called for the nurse, but as we waited for the woman to come, my mother begged me to keep my brother’s secret. She swore he never did anything like that again. He’d been curious about the drug he’d heard about. He told her the girl never said no.”
Jenna jumped to her feet. “I would have. If I’d had the chance. He took that ability away from me. I never would have chosen to do what he did to me. He was horrible. Brutal. I needed stitches, for God’s sake. He damaged me not just physically but emotionally, at a core level, and then he justified this because I didn’t say no?”
His mother had cried in her weak raspy voice, “He’s not a rapist, Shane. He’s not. It was a mistake. He was caught up in the moment. He promised me it would never happen again. And it never did. I’m certain of it. I’ve watched him carefully. It’s one of the reasons I stayed with your father, so I could keep an eye on Adam. You have to believe me, son, and you have to promise not to tell another soul. Swear to it, Shane. Give me your word.”
He’d had no choice but to ease her guilt and let her pass in peace.
“He and I have never spoken of this. I assumed he didn’t know I knew, although I left a few hours after Mom’s funeral, so he might have guessed.”
“And you think he’s here because of that?”
“I don’t know, but I can tell you that he has a highly public career that could be destroyed by an accusation of rape, even if such an allegation couldn’t be proven. Jenna, I’d planned to call a lawyer this week, but I thought I’d have time before I left. I’m not telling you what to do, but I don’t think a secondhand deathbed confession would be enough to reopen the case, let alone prove it.”
“Is that why you’re here? The real reason?”
“It’s one of the reasons. Like I said, I needed to see for myself how you were coping. If you’d moved on and were happy in a life of your choosing.”
“Maybe offer me a job as a scriptwriter to ease your conscience? Just how guilty do you feel, Shane? Would you give my mom a role in the show even if she can’t act her way out of a wet paper sack? Were you prepared to sleep with me? If I’m over this enough to have sex, then I must be fixed, huh?”
He got to his feet. “Jenna, you have every right to hate me. I can’t defend myself or my brother. I’ve struggled with this guilt for six years. In complete honesty, I might not have ever told you if Adam hadn’t shown up. Not for his sake, believe me. For yours. He’s rich, connected and powerful. At the very least, he could make your life miserable.”
“He already has.” She started away.
“Wait. Take the flashlight.”
“I can see fine. You need it worse than me. Just hurry. I want to go home.”
He grabbed the quilt and the flashlight and followed her. They didn’t speak again until they reached her driveway. “Don’t pull in. Mom’s probably asleep by now and the windows will be open. I don’t want to wake her. Tomorrow’s a big day. Her trip to L.A.”
“Are you taking her to the airport?”
“Yes.”
“If I can get you a seat on the plane, would you consider going with her?”
She looked at him a full minute. “No. Final answer. I’m not running away from anything ever again. I haven’t decided what to do about your brother policewise. When I do decide, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I’m done working on the scripts. I have a business to run and that’s all I’m focusing on at the moment. I hope you won’t let my decision influence Mom’s chances where the show is concerned, but I can’t work with someone whose values are so screwed up he’d let a rapist walk around free. I’m just glad I didn’t see you go anywhere near the champagne this afternoon.”
A low blow. Not undeserved, but it hurt all the same. He wasn’t the kind of man who’d spike his date’s drink. He’d never hurt a woman in his life, but why should he expect her to believe that? Maybe he was guilty by association. He sure as hell felt guilty. And a little sick to his stomach.
She got out and, to his surprise, didn’t slam the door. He watched her walk inside, her back straight and proud. He swallowed against the tightness in his throat and put the car in gear. As he drove through the quiet streets of Sentinel Pass, he actually felt close to breaking down. Not only had he lost the girl, he’d lost out on any chance of ever being a part of the town he’d pictured in his mind so clearly over the years. He wondered if Coop had left any sleeping pills behind. He had a feeling this was going to be a long, sleepless night.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SHANE GOT UP EARLY the next morning, despite his lack of sleep. He’d called every number he once had for his brother and even tried the Alex Johnson Hotel where Jenna had mentioned seeing Adam. The grumpy clerk told him no one by the name of Adam Ostergren was registered.
Shane knew better than to think his brother had simply given up and gone home. That wasn’t Adam. His brother was focused, tenacious and unforgiving. As far as Shane knew, Adam had never forgiven him for being born.
He poured a second cup of coffee and was about to try Coop’s cell when his phone rang. “Reynard here.”
“Reynard. Chosen because you were our mother’s favorite?”
He set down his cup and walked into the living room to stand beside the home’s large picture window. He’d found the exact spot to ensure a good connection. “Hello, A.”
Adam had always hated the diminutive nickname.
“When you didn’t bother letting me know you were in the area, I decided I should come check things out for myself. A new television project everyone is talking about. Wouldn’t Dad be proud?”
Shane wasn’t in the mood for small talk. “What will it take to get you to leave her alone?”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you do. That’s why you showed up at the Mystery Spot. To send a message to me. She’s vulnerable. You’re powerful. Got it. Now, what do you need to disappear?”
The pause that followed was so long Shane thought the call might have gotten dropped, but as he was about to repeat the question, his brother said, “I knew I couldn’t trust the bitch.
”
“Jenna?”
“Mom. I sensed that she told you, but I couldn’t exactly come right out and ask, could I?”
“Why’d you tell her? You and Mom were never close.”
“Not like the two of you. But Dad was gone on one of his fake fact-finding trips boinking his then-current mistress in New Guinea or something. I was afraid the police were going to show up, and I had this stupid scratch on my face. That’s why I left while it was still dark. I knew you’d ask questions and eventually figure it out. Mom guessed the truth and she wasn’t half as intuitive as you were.”
If Adam had sounded even the least bit repentant or had asked about Jenna, Shane might have been inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. But this was classic Adam mode—ready to blame someone else for his decisions. Growing up, Shane usually had been his scapegoat.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better Mom never mentioned it until she was dying. I think she needed to relieve herself of the burden so she could go in peace. I figured keeping her secret was the least I could do since I’d basically abandoned her to you and Dad all those years.”
“Spoken like a true bleeding-heart California liberal. Mom made her own bed. A very cushy one. If she’d wanted out, all she had to do was ask. Toward the end, Dad would have given her a divorce in a heartbeat so he could be with Christina.”
Shane had guessed that the woman his father married a mere eight weeks after burying his first wife had been involved with him longer. That she was closer in age to Shane and Adam hadn’t surprised him, either.
“Mom’s reasons for staying in such a sick relationship were entirely her own. That’s in the past. I want to know what you intend to do where Jenna Murphy is concerned.”
“I guess part of that depends on what she intends to do with the information I assume you shared with her. Which, I should add, was a very selfish thing to do.”
“Selfish?”
“I know you, Shanely.” Shane ground his teeth at the nickname. “Mom’s deathbed confession has been eating at you for years. You probably set this whole TV ball in motion just so you come here and lay this heartfelt confession at her feet. Did she thank you for opening that particular festering can of worms?”
Hardly.
“You raped her, Adam. And went on to live your life with impunity. Where’s the justice in that?”
Adam’s laugh set the hair on the back of Shane’s neck on end. “Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re so damn naive you actually believe in justice. The only thing that matters in this world is money. Find out how much this is going to cost, and we’ll all go back to living our lives.”
Shane shook his head. “Reverse blackmail. Interesting concept. I guarantee you money never crossed Jenna’s mind.”
“Then it will be up to you to make her see the light. This can go away and she comes out with a healthy bank account—or things can get ugly.” He paused. “And I do mean ugly. I think you know what I’m talking about. Does the name Linda Scoggins ring any bells?”
The line went dead.
Shane heaved the phone at the sofa with all his might. It bounced and landed on the floor a few feet away. He stared at it a few minutes, his chest heaving as if he’d run a race with the devil. In a way he’d been racing this particular demon his whole life. And now Jenna was caught in the crosshairs.
Linda Scoggins. A girl they’d known in grade school. Pudgy. Glasses. Pigtails. Those were the only images that came to mind, but the horror of her death had left a lasting impression on Shane. She’d slipped through the ice on a pond in their neighborhood. An accident.
Shane had never thought otherwise, but now he remembered something that he hadn’t realized he knew. Linda had tattled on Adam a few weeks before her death. She’d told the teacher that Adam had unzipped his pants and wiggled his penis at her in the cloakroom during recess. The Ostergrens had been called to the school for a conference. Shane hadn’t been privy to the whole debacle, but he’d overheard some of the fight between his mother and father that followed.
“He needs to see a doctor,” his mother had cried. “Our son is sick. If we don’t get him help now, I won’t be responsible for what happens in the future.”
“When have you ever been responsible for any damn thing in your life or anyone else’s?” his father had shouted. “Adam is fine. Just a little high-spirited. Stop your squawking and get out of my sight.”
Shane’s hand was shaking when he bent to pick up his phone. He needed to find Jenna and convince her to take Adam’s offer. More than anything, he prayed she hadn’t already contacted the police.
He called the Murphy home but there was no answer.
He cursed and picked up his keys. “Why the hell doesn’t she have a cell phone?”
JENNA TAPPED THE HORN impatiently as she passed a slow-moving pickup truck towing a gigantic travel trailer. She wasn’t in a hurry—they’d allowed plenty of time before her mother’s flight—but her lack of sleep had left her tense and grouchy.
“Your father used to get like this before I went anywhere. He could make life so miserable the week before a trip, I was always tempted to cancel.”
Jenna wasn’t upset about her mother’s trip, but she let the implication stand. Better than admitting the true cause of her bad mood. “Maybe that explains why we didn’t take more family vacations, huh?”
“What are you talking about? We couldn’t get away in summer, but we traveled in the off-season. Remember the Thanksgiving we spent in Washington, D.C.?”
“That’s right. We ate turkey dinner in the hotel restaurant and they ran out of pumpkin pie.”
Bess made a sad sound. “You cried and your dad felt so bad the next day he found a bakery and bought you a whole one.”
“He said I didn’t need to share.”
“But you did, of course. Because that’s your nature. You’re generous and kind and you think of others.”
The praise felt good considering how much soul-searching she’d done in the wee hours. Her mind kept going to the night of the attack, probing deep for details that might have given some warning of what kind of man Adam Ostergren was. Had she done something to lead him on? Provoke him?
Over and over in the months following the rape, she’d asked a nonresponsive God, “Why me?” She still didn’t have an answer. In fact, all she had was more questions. Would reopening the case provide the sense of closure she’d always lacked? Would the D.A. be able to get a conviction from Shane’s testimony? She’d seen her share of television court dramas and knew that hearsay was usually disallowed as evidence.
“What’s wrong, Jenna? You don’t think I should do this, do you? Did Shane say something? Am I wasting my time?”
Jenna hadn’t brought up Shane’s confession because she didn’t want her mother to worry or, worse, cancel her trip. Bess had given up her dream often enough in the past because her family needed her. Not this time.
“No, Mom. In fact, Shane said he thinks you have a good chance. It’s all up to you.”
“Darn. I was afraid of that. What business do I have thinking I’m good enough to be on TV? No fool like an old fool, right?”
“Mom, you’re in the prime of your life. You’re healthier than you’ve been in years. I’m sorry I’m so out of it this morning. The wedding…Shane and I…You’re the only part of my life that’s going right. I smile every time I look at you because you finally look like you’re having fun.”
“Really?” Her mom took a deep breath. Shaky, but not quite as panicky as her breathing had sounded a minute earlier.
“A few weeks ago you were a walking pharmacy. Now, you’re on your way to Los Angeles.”
“To take my first ever screen test.” The last came out with a girlish squeal.
Jenna grinned. “I’m excited for you, Mom. And I know you’re going to be great. You’re happy with the way Shane and I wrote your character, right? Aggie Dupree.”
“Also known as Aggie the dog lady. I love her. She’s a
hoot. A great foil for Libby’s character since you decided her grandmother had passed away. Aggie’s the right balance of whacko and real person. And I love the way she adores Louie, your father’s character. I know just how she feels about wanting love in your life again but being wary of all the stuff that comes with it.”
Jenna glanced sideways. “Do you think you’d like to remarry some day?”
Her mother’s cheeks colored slightly. “In all honesty, I’d like what Mary and Calvin have. A private understanding between the two of them, without getting their children in an uproar about inheritances.”
The thought had never crossed Jenna’s mind, but she could see how the future might turn complex in many ways if her mother found someone new. She wondered if someday they’d look back over the past two years as their transitional period of mourning. Double the traditional length since there were two of them.
She realized she was ready for a change, too. Which was strange since she’d always been the one who advocated the importance of maintaining the status quo.
“We had a good opening day yesterday,” she said, taking her usual shortcut through a residential neighborhood. They passed by a handsome independent-living manor. Her parents had joked about winding up there when they were too old to climb the stairs to the second-floor bedroom. She suddenly missed her father so much she had to fight back tears.
Swallowing, she went on. “Robyn did a fabulous job. She’s really fired up about taking on as much responsibility as I want to give her. Unusual for a girl her age, don’t you think?”
“Not really. You were the same way before you went to college. Your father used to say the word can’t wasn’t part of your vocabulary.”
“Really? I don’t remember that.”
“Ah…well, Clarence was a typical absentminded professor. He’d think something and not remember if he said it aloud. But he loved you very much and was always proud of you.”
“Except at the end, you mean.”
“Always,” Mom stressed. “As a father he was tortured by guilt. He blamed himself for pushing you to go to college—even though intellectually he knew a rape could have happened anywhere. It was his inability to protect you that came across as disapproval.”
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