by CJ Roberts
Caleb thought about everything Felipe said. Felipe knew everything between him and Livvie and hadn’t said a word. Caleb knew nothing about Felipe’s plans until now and the fact he’d offered the information himself only solidified his trustworthiness. Caleb had nothing left to lose and everything to gain. “Lead the way,” he said.
As Caleb followed Felipe down the dark wooden stairs, he contemplated pushing him. However, he’d made up his mind to hear what the man had to say. He could always kill him after. Caleb reached for the light and turned it on as they descended.
He thought of the last time he had been down here. He’d strapped Kitten to an exam table and watched her play with her pussy. He smiled to himself.
When they arrived at the bottom, Felipe pointed to a chair near the wall. “I’ll need you to sit there and I’ll need to tie you up.”
Caleb’s steps faltered and he reached for his knife. He held it out in front of him, blocking the stairs, “You’ve lost your fucking mind if you think I’m going to let you tie me up.”
“Don’t be a child! Your anger makes you stupid and I don’t need you acting rashly. What I have to tell you is going to boil your blood and I can’t have you loose in the house!” Felipe shouted.
“Tell me what you have to say! Or you die now! I’m tired of your games, Felipe,” Caleb said.
Felipe’s eyes shone with fury as he held up his hands and backed away from Caleb. Abruptly, he reached behind him and pulled out his gun. “Sit. Now.”
Adrenaline surged through Caleb’s veins, but he knew he was at a disadvantage. He’d played directly into Felipe’s hands. He weighed his options and was horrified to discover they were few and ended in his death. His only true concern was for Livvie.
“Swear to me the girl is safe,” Caleb whispered and he realized it sounded like a plea. It had been a long time since Caleb had begged for anything.
Nothing left to lose, Caleb. Fuck your pride.
“I swear it,” Felipe said evenly.
Caleb swallowed, “You can keep the gun on me. There’s no need to tie me up.”
“Come inside and sit down. I’ll leave you free, but if you attempt to get by me, I will shoot you, Caleb. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Caleb said and did as Felipe asked.
“Did Rafiq ever tell you how his mother and sister died?” Felipe asked.
Caleb’s heart felt like it might burst clear out of his chest. His mind was fixated on Livvie, on seeing her again, on getting her to safety. Felipe’s questions seemed strange and Caleb suddenly wished he’d never agreed to listen. “Vladek killed them.”
“Did you never wonder why?”
Caleb had wondered, many times, but Rafiq had explained it all away by saying Vladek had been a criminal, simply passing through and fixated on his sister. “Get to the point!”
Felipe sighed heavily, “Very well. Rush me if you must, but keep your mouth shut and listen. Rafiq killed them.”
Caleb’s face contorted in disbelief, “You’re lying!” He stood and took a step forward. He stopped when Felipe drew the hammer back on his revolver.
“Sit down! It’s only the beginning,” Felipe’s accent was thicker when he was angry. Caleb sat. “I met Rafiq and Vladek in the 80’s. The two of them were dealing in stockpiled Russian weapons. My boss at the time was accepting shipments from them in exchange for cocaine and heroin. Over the years, all of us became…friends. Rafiq and Vladek were especially close.”
Caleb felt dizzy, but he maintained his bearing.
“The stockpile eventually dwindled, but by then, Vladek had become the heir to his father’s company in Russia. His father and brothers…met with an unfortunate accident. Anyway, things were good for a while, but nothing good lasts forever, as they say.”
“Again!” Caleb shouted, “Get to the fucking point!”
Felipe smiled, “I’m tempted to put a bullet in you, Caleb. Shut up!”
“Rafiq’s father died, leaving him in charge of his mother and sister. Rafiq loved them very much and doted on them, especially his sister, A’noud. We were all young men, then. Young men are stupid. Vladek stuck his dick where it didn’t belong.”
Caleb felt as though he’d been hit by lightning. “Rafiq’s sister,” Caleb said. Memories were strange. No matter how much time elapsed, or how a memory could change, a person still trusted their own mind. Caleb, the boy, had trusted Rafiq implicitly. It only made sense for Caleb, the man, to trust him as well. Still, the information, while surprising, was not damning or life changing. Caleb could understand why Rafiq would be angry.
“Yes,” Felipe said. “When Rafiq discovered his sister was pregnant and Vladek was the father, he strangled his sister in a murderous rage.”
“I don’t believe you!” Caleb hissed. Rafiq wouldn’t murder his own family, no matter how angry he might have been.
“Don’t interrupt!” Felipe said. “It will all make sense to you in a few minutes. Rafiq’s mother tried to protect her, and she met the same fate. Rafiq was riddled with guilt and he blamed Vladek. Rafiq was out to find him, but Vladek was gone, so he went after their business contacts.”
“How do you know all this?” Caleb asked. He was increasingly suspicious.
“My boss wouldn’t help him, so he came to me. In exchange for what I knew, he helped me rise to power. I’ve always been an opportunist, Caleb. I thought he would lie in wait for Vladek, but what he did instead was…. Well, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Caleb snorted, “I still don’t see what this has to do with me. Rafiq lost his temper – he wasn’t himself. Vladek still deserves to die.”
“It has a great deal to do with you, Caleb,” Felipe said.
Caleb studied Felipe and the unease in his eyes set the hair on Caleb’s body on edge. “What did he do?” Caleb asked, and for the first time, a tendril of pure fear raced down his spine.
“Vladek had been a bit of a ladies’ man. Women swooned over his blond hair and blue eyes, but I remembered he once spoke longingly about an American woman he’d met at college. She’d left him suddenly and V had said she was the one who got away. I pointed Rafiq toward her.” Felipe paused, apparently lost in thought.
Caleb had heard enough. Felipe had said nothing to sway Caleb’s loyalty and Livvie was waiting upstairs. Their time together had dwindled to a few precious hours and he was done wasting them. “So, Rafiq was a killer long before I knew him. So what?” Caleb stood, “Keep your secrets, Felipe. And keep mine as well, at least until tomorrow night. I promise to do the same.”
“She had a son!” Felipe spat. “The splitting image of Vladek: blond hair, blue eyes.”
Caleb slowly sat back down. He swallowed bile and broke out in a cold sweat. He didn’t want to hear anymore. “Wait. Stop.” He waved his arm.
“No one knew. Not even, Vladek, I think. When Rafiq couldn’t find Vladek, he went after the boy as a means to flush Vladek out.”
Not fucking true. He’s lying, Caleb. Kill him. He’s lying!
Felipe didn’t relent, “Vladek went deep into hiding. He had heard about A’noud and knew Rafiq was searching for him. He never came to claim his son, even after Rafiq put him to work in a brothel.”
“Stop!” Caleb said.
“No!” Felipe insisted, “The truth, Caleb. Hear it.”
“It doesn’t make any sense! He’s the one who saved me,” Caleb insisted.
“All he’s done is claim Vladek’s son for his own and use him to carry out his ultimate revenge,” Felipe whispered.
Blond hair. Blue eyes.
Images of Vladek flashed through Caleb’s mind. He was older, and his hair had turned grey, but his eyes were blue.
He’s Russian! They all have blue eyes!
Caleb had always wondered why he’d been taken. Why he’d been dragged so far away from home to be a whore. Why Rafiq would save him and not the others. Why?
“You’re saying…” Caleb couldn’t get the rest out. It was too unspeakable to eve
n consider what Felipe was saying. Caleb’s chest felt tight and his stomach churned.
“He left you there, Caleb. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Rafiq after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children.”
Caleb felt himself burst open like a dam. Every emotion, every memory involving Rafiq sifted through his mind. There was nothing Rafiq wouldn’t do to have his revenge. Nothing. Caleb fell to his knees and vomited. For the first time in years, Caleb cried. He couldn’t stop. He screamed and he cried. He heaved for breath.
He rescued me. He clothed me. He fed me. He calls me brother.
“Liar!” Caleb cried. He reached for his knife and lunged toward Felipe, intent on cutting out his lying tongue.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Caleb woke. His head hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain inside his chest. He pushed himself back onto his heels and raised a hand to his head. It came away bloody. He stared at the blood on his hand. There had been so much blood on Caleb’s hands over the years.
He sobbed.
“He left you there, Caleb. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Rafiq after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children.”
He wanted to tell himself there was absolutely no truth to what Felipe had told him, but he had to admit…it was possible. Rafiq had lied to him about how he knew Vladek. With all he and Rafiq had shared, Caleb couldn’t think of a reason for Rafiq to keep such a thing from him. Unless he had a very good reason.
Vladek is my father.
Caleb shook his head. He couldn’t think about that.
He looked around the room and saw it was empty; Felipe was gone. Caleb had gone toward him with his knife, intent on killing him, but his anger had made him sloppy and Felipe had struck him with the gun. The fact he didn’t shoot Caleb only gave him more credibility.
Caleb wished he’d pulled the trigger, but he knew why Felipe had left him alive. He wanted Caleb to find Rafiq.
No! I can’t.
He hunched over, the pain was too much to bear. There was no way he could possibly survive this betrayal. His entire life had been a lie. He had not been abandoned. He had not been rescued. He’d been taken from a mother who loved him and had tried to protect him by running away from Vladek. He’d been kidnapped by the only real father he’d ever known.
Rafiq.
Rafiq had cared for him. He’d taught him how to read, how to speak five languages. Rafiq had stayed up late and spoken with Caleb because he’d known about the nightmares Caleb used to have when he went to bed alone. He’d taught him how to defend himself. And the entire time….
He knew what he’d done to me. He listened to me recount the way Narweh used to rape me. He’d held me when I cried.
Caleb screamed toward the ground.
I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.
“How could you?” he said aloud.
He must laugh at me.
An image of Rafiq and Jair popped into his mind. Their entire relationship had been suspect until that moment. If Rafiq was concerned about Caleb learning the truth, it made sense to have someone around to watch Caleb. He wondered if Jair knew the truth and bile crept into his throat.
Kill them both.
Slowly, Caleb stood from his balled position on the floor. He looked around him and picked up his knife. As he held it in his hand, he shook with rage. Things would end tonight.
He trudged up the stairs, his bare feet slapping against the wood steps. His heart felt both fast and shallow. He had hungered for vengeance for so many years, never knowing the source of all his suffering had held his hand and pointed him toward his own father.
Vladek was not without guilt. He’d known what Rafiq did to him and still had not come for him. He had sacrificed his own flesh and blood for the sake of what? Money? Power? Cowardice?
Caleb had been a pawn since he was a child. Nothing he knew could be trusted, even his memories manipulated him. There was no such thing as truth. The truth relied heavily on perception and Caleb’s had been fucked with since the beginning.
The door was open at the top of the stairs. Caleb didn’t hear any sounds within the house. He suspected Felipe and Celia were long gone. He wondered if they had taken Livvie.
Livvie….
Caleb shut his eyes tight and forced her from his thoughts. He couldn’t think about her. If he went upstairs and found her missing, he would lose any composure he had left. If he found her waiting for him with Felipe and Celia, he risked showing a side of himself he didn’t want her to see. And if he found her hurt…or worse…he would simply turn the knife on himself and Rafiq would live. It was best he didn’t know. Not yet.
Felipe’s home was enormous, filled with many rooms and hiding spaces. He walked slowly, testing each door as quietly as possible. As he walked, his memories wreaked havoc on his soul.
“Why me, Rafiq? I’m no one. I don’t even know who Vladek is,” Caleb said. He sat on the floor with his legs pulled up toward his chest. It was almost time for bed, but he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to risk having another nightmare.
Lately, he’d been dreaming about the night he killed Narweh. Caleb had shot him and his face was half gone, but Narweh didn’t die. He sat up and jumped on top of Caleb, his open face dripping a river of blood onto Caleb’s.
He could never go back to sleep after that.
Rafiq sat at his desk, writing. “Men like Vladek have no reason for their callousness, Caleb. They see something, or someone, they like and they take it. A’noud was beautiful.” Rafiq paused and smiled. “She was sweet. She used to wrap her arms around me and refuse to let go unless I spun her around. My mother used to complain she’d never find a husband because she’d never want to be away from me.” Rafiq’s gaze was distant, as though he were reliving a fond memory.
Caleb looked toward the imaginary spot containing Rafiq’s memory of his sister and he wished he had one of his own.
“Do you miss her?” Caleb asked in a whisper.
Rafiq’s expression turned grim and he returned to his papers, “Much of the time. My hope is that once Vladek is dead, I can give my sister and mother some peace.”
Caleb nodded. “Do you think…? Nevermind.” Caleb pulled at the rug with his fingernails, at a loss for what to say.
“Ask, Caleb. There is no room for secrets between you and I. We are in this together,” Rafiq said. He smiled at Caleb warmly.
“I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. I promise. You saved my life and I owe you everything. It’s just…do you think…I have a family? I mean, I must have had one…before.” Caleb’s face felt hot.
Rafiq sighed, “I don’t know, Caleb. I’m sorry.”
Caleb shrugged and picked at the carpet some more. “It doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who came looking for me. If I have a family, they must not care very much.”
Rafiq stood from his desk and got down on one knee in front of Caleb and lifted his chin. “We are orphans, Caleb. We make our own families.”
Caleb’s chest swelled with emotions he didn’t understand. He pressed his lips together and nodded. He felt relieved when Rafiq let him go and ruffled his hair. Caleb didn’t want to cry in front of Rafiq. He wanted to make him proud.
“Let us see what sweets are in the kitchen, Caleb.”
Caleb smiled brightly and jumped up from the floor, trailing behind Rafiq.
His first impulse was to throw open the door and start stabbing anything within arm’s reach, but he’d made enough mistakes to last him a lifetime. He was determined to get it right this time.
“Hold the gun steady, Caleb. It’s very powerful,” Rafiq said. He smiled and lifted Caleb’s arms parallel to the ground.
“I can do it!” Caleb whined. He tried to shrug Rafiq away.
“I�
��m trying to teach you, Caleb. Listen.”
“You’ve been talking forever. I just want to shoot.”
“Patience,” Rafiq said. “Widen your stance and try to pace your breathing.”
Caleb scowled. He was tired of talking. He pointed the gun toward the tin can in the distance and squeezed the trigger. The force of the gun bent his elbows and the gun cracked him in the forehead and threw him toward the ground.
“Ahhh! Damn it!” Caleb rolled on the ground while holding his head. He kicked with his feet as he tried to assuage the pain. He could hear Rafiq laughing uproariously.
“I told you! You silly boy!” Rafiq stomped his foot as he laughed.
Caleb shut his eyes again and tried to breathe through the pain. He would give anything to return to the moment Felipe had offered him the truth and deny he wanted to hear it.
You knew it could come to this, Caleb. Only now, you don’t have to feel guilt. It’s a gift.
Caleb shook his head, but gripped the knife tighter. He couldn’t lie to himself. He had known it might come to this. He had hoped to sacrifice his own life, but in the back of his mind, he knew the survivor in him would fight to the bitter end. Rafiq had to die.
He took a deep, steadying breath and knocked on the door.
The beating of his heart swayed his body by the barest of degrees, building his adrenaline and his anxiety.
Caleb heard cursing, followed by rapid steps toward the door. He braced himself and a shiver ran down his spine.
The door opened and Jair stood in the doorway naked. His swarthy chest was slick with sweat.
“What do you want?” Jair sneered.