"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about calling the lawyer."
Jason spared her a narrow-eyed glance. "You should be sorry."
"Well, I am."
Another glance. Followed by an angry groan. Then he stared at her. Nope. Make that a glare. "I'm really pissed off at you right now, you know that?"
"Yes." She softly explained, "But put yourself in my place and ask yourself if you wouldn't have done the same thing."
His glare didn't soften one bit. "I'm not in the mood for reasoning here, Lilly. This isn't about logic or validity. It's about the love I have for that little girl across the hall."
"It's also about the hatred you feel for me," she pointed out.
"I don't hate you."
He said it too quickly for her to believe that he'd given it any real thought. "Liar."
"I don't hate you," he insisted.
"Maybe not. But every time you look at me, you remember Greg and how I could have saved him if I'd been thinking about him instead of me."
He shrugged and propped his hands on his hips. "If you're waiting for me to deny that, I can't."
"I know you can't." Lilly considered ending this air-clearing with that acknowledgment, but they were at an impasse here, and for Megan's sake, they needed to get past it. "Because every time I look at you, I remember the accusations and the hell you put me through that night and all the weeks after it."
That was only partly true. Which made it a lie. For reasons she didn't want to explore, she no longer saw the pain of Greg's death when she looked at Jason. Instead, she saw Jason, the man. The hot cop. The person responsible for confusing her more than she could have ever imagined.
"We need to put an end to this protective custody," Lilly informed him. "We need to figure out who tried to kill me so we can all get on with our lives."
No more glaring, but there was skepticism written all over his face. "I'll listen to any ideas you have as to how we can catch this guy."
"Any ideas?" she questioned.
He frowned. "Within reason."
Well, that probably ruled out what she was about to say, but Lilly went with it anyway. "I'd like to go to my office and have a look around."
He was already shaking his head before she finished. "Too risky."
"Breathing is too risky," she reminded him.
Jason leaned in, violating her personal space. "But some breaths are riskier than others."
She didn't think it was intentional, but she knew from the look on his face that he was probably thinking about that near kiss.
Yes, that was indeed one risky breath.
He was so close that she could see the swirls of gray in his eyes. Too close. Yet she did nothing to move away. It was a cheap thrill, except she knew this cheap thrill would have an enormous price tag with the potential for her heart to be broken.
"Besides," he continued, leaning back out of her personal space, "anything you need from your office, I can bring it here."
"You can't bring a conditioned response to me. In other words, something there might trigger those gaps in my memory so we'll know who's trying to kill me. And if we know that, we can catch him."
He stayed quiet a moment and then shook his head again.
"It makes sense," Lilly continued so she could cut off any objection he might try to voice. "We could go to my office after hours, with a police escort and without letting anyone outside S.A.P.D. know. You could have the building and parking lot checked to make sure it's secure."
"But that still wouldn't make it safe."
"A half hour. That's all I'd need. Just enough time to try to relive what happened that night before someone tried to kill me."
Lilly geared herself up to add more to the argument, but the sound of Megan's fussing had both Jason and her turning in the direction of the empty doorway. It didn't stay empty for long. With Erica in hot pursuit, Megan came racing into the room, and the second she spotted Jason, she made a beeline for the bed.
"I'm sorry," Erica said, coming after the child. "She doesn't seem interested in taking a nap today."
Jason lifted the child onto the bed with them. "It's okay. She can stay in here for a while."
That must have met with Megan's seal of approval because she gave Jason a kiss on the tip of his nose. The little girl climbed out of Jason's lap and worked her tiny body in between Lilly and him. Erica quietly left the room.
Lilly leaned in closer, savoring the feel of Megan's soft skin. Taking in her scent. She ran her fingers through those curls. Like air and silk. It was one of those unforgettable moments in her life. A real turning point. Her first step at getting to know her daughter.
Jason touched Megan's hair, as well, and let his fingertips trail over her cheek. It was like a sedative for Megan because her eyelids immediately drifted down. It seemed as if she was interested in taking a nap, after all.
"If I forgive you," Jason whispered to Lilly, "if I forgive myself for what happened to Greg, it'll be like letting go of him."
There it was. The catch-22 that she'd been trying to come to terms with since that night. "I understand."
"Do you?" he challenged, but he immediately waved it off. "When Greg died, I thought there was nothing more painful than losing a brother. But now I know I was wrong." He looked down at Megan and brushed a kiss on her forehead. "There are greater heartbreaks in the world."
Yes. And losing Megan was at the top of the list.
Lilly stared at her daughter, who was nestled in the crook of Jason's arm. Megan's da-da. A connection she knew she couldn't—and wouldn't—break.
So, the question was, what kind of compromise was she willing to make to be part of Megan's life? What was she willing to do so this would work? There was only one answer; she was willing to do anything.
Anything.
And that included forging a truce, a compromise and perhaps even a relationship with her enemy. With Jason. Strange. It didn't seem as distasteful as it should.
While Lilly was mulling over that contradiction, the phone next to the bed rang.
Jason gave a weary sigh, leaned over and snatched it up. "Hello?"
Lilly couldn't hear what the caller said, but whatever it was, it didn't please Jason. He jabbed the button to turn on the speakerphone function.
"What makes you think Lilly Nelson is here?" Jason asked the caller. He looked at her and mouthed two words.
Raymond Klein.
Oh, mercy. She'd had enough of an ordeal without adding this. Yet, it was an important call because, after all, Raymond Klein was on their list of suspects. Had he called to issue some warning that he was after her? Lilly wished. Because that meant they'd know he was the one behind these attempts and the cops could haul his butt in.
"Where else would she be?" was Klein's chilly response to Jason's question.
"What do you want?" Lilly demanded. That demand earned her another glare from Jason. She was getting used to those.
"The cops keep calling me and dropping by to ask questions," Klein explained, sounding as if he were glaring, too. "You've already ruined my life—"
"FYI, you ruined your own life by getting involved with my father. If you hadn't done that, you wouldn't have been disbarred."
"I didn't do anything wrong. Someone set me up."
It was an old song and dance. One that she didn't want to hear again.
"I won't be drawn back into this, understand?" Klein continued. "My advice? Back off because I'm a desperate man, and desperate men don't play by the rules."
His words sent a chill through her. "That sounds a little like a threat, Mr. Klein."
"Maybe because it is."
Chapter Seven
If Jason were to make a list of Dumb-Things-To-Do, this would be at the top.
With that reminder, he didn't curse. He'd already cursed himself enough. Nor did he try to talk Lilly out of leaving the downtown office building and immediately returning to his house. He knew now that he'd be wasting his breath.
Why?
Because after two days of arguing with her about this, Lilly had delivered the ultimate ultimatum—she was going to her office with or without him.
Right.
As if without him was an option.
Rule number one of protective custody was to protect. Plain and simple. And he couldn't protect her if she was halfway across the city in the absolute last place she should be. He couldn't stop her from leaving, either.
It'd done no good to remind her of the incident at the hospital. Or the incident with the security gate. Or Raymond Klein's threatening call. She was here, and it was up to him to make sure she stayed safe.
The elevator came to a stop, the metal doors swishing open, and Lilly and he came face-to-face with a massive hallway lined with office doors. Even though he was a cop who was trained and armed, it was unnerving to face all that space. All those doors. Where anyone, especially a killer, could be lurking.
However, Jason knew the place was probably safe. Probably. Two officers who were now patrolling the parking lot had gone through every office, every hall, every nook and every cranny. There was no one else in the building except for Lilly and him, and Jason intended to keep it that way. He also intended to make this a very short visit.
In addition to the thorough building check, Jason had taken every other security precaution that he could possibly take. He'd driven a circuitous route, backtracking and watching to make sure they hadn't been followed. He had also left a police guard with Megan and Erica in case the perp decided to go in that direction instead. Now, he had to hope that all those security measures were enough to counteract the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Jason stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor, and he reached out his arm to assist her. Lilly either didn't see his gesture, or else she blew him off. Instead, she used her cane to walk.
"Walk" being a relative term.
She was still wobbly, and he figured she'd have bruises on her palm from putting so much pressure on the cane. He'd offered to help. Lots of times. But he had finally given up trying to convince her to take the slow and easy approach to her recovery. It was like talking to a brick wall.
Or to himself.
That thought caused him to smile. God knows why. He certainly didn't have anything to smile about. He could blame that on the below-the-waist, brainless part of his anatomy. It was a myth that men were ruled by their heads and not their hearts.
Heads and hearts indeed. Those parts were definitely involved in the process, but he knew for a fact that at this stage, lust was the number one factor.
Once this was over, he really needed to make the time to be with a woman.
Of course, his body immediately reminded him that Lilly was a woman, but he told his body what it could do with that reminder.
"Don't say it," she mumbled.
Since he was still embroiled in his own borderline lecherous mental discussion, it took Jason a moment to figure out what she'd said. Good grief, had she figured out what he was thinking?
"Don't say what?" he asked cautiously.
"About this not being a good idea."
Oh, that. "It never crossed my mind."
She laughed. One short burst of sound and air to form a Ha! "Sarcasm. A lost art form. I'm beginning to like you, Jason, and I don't think that's a good thing."
He didn't even have to think about that one. "It isn't. And you don't like me. Not really."
Lilly made a throaty sound of disagreement. "We're back to the you-saved-my-life stuff and that's the only reason I could possibly like you?"
They could go there. Easily. But Jason was tired of the BS. Maybe if they just dealt with it, like adults, it wouldn't be an issue.
Okay, that didn't make sense.
But avoiding it wasn't working, either.
Nothing was working.
And he'd never been more frustrated and confused in his entire life.
So, he came to a stop. Lilly stopped, too. But in the wrong place. Right in front of an open office door that had a huge window. The overhead lights created a golden spotlight above her. In fact, the light was the same color as the sleeveless top and slim short skirt she was wearing. Both silk.
How did he know that?
He'd brushed against both the fabric and her at least a dozen times. Accidentally, of course. But those inadvertent caresses still had an effect on him. A woman wearing silk. Maybe that was any man's fantasy. Judging from his reaction, it was apparently his.
Jason caught her arm and moved her to the side, away from the direct line of sight of the window, but the light still shone on her face.
Man, she was beautiful.
Not beautiful in that beauty queen, polished sort of way. But in a natural way that stirred parts of him best left alone.
She hadn't pulled her hair into a ponytail tonight, and it instead lay against the tops of her shoulders. Those dark auburn locks were a stark contrast against the much lighter fabric of her clothes. Earrings, thin threads of gold, dangled from her ears. Jason noticed it all. Even the delicate heart necklace that lay between her breasts.
Yep, he noticed her breasts, too.
And every inch of him started to ache.
"I can't believe this is happening," he mumbled to himself. Regrettably, he didn't mumble it softly enough because Lilly's gaze whipped to his.
She stared at him, and stared. Her expression went from concern, to alarm, to disgust. Jason was sure his expression went through a similar transformation and settled heavily on the disgust part. Not disgust for her, but for himself.
"Sheez Louise. What's wrong with us?" Lilly whispered. She groaned softly. He found that erotic, too. Heck, at this point, her breathing seemed like an aphrodisiac. "And don't you dare blame it on adrenaline."
Nope, it wasn't adrenaline.
It was stupidity.
Stupidity generated by the brainless part of him that kept making really bad suggestions as to what he should do about this unexplainable attraction he had for Lilly. An attraction for his brother's lover.
Ah, there it was.
The metaphorical chastity belt. Lilly was hands-off because she was Greg's. It didn't matter that Greg was no longer alive. Just the fact that she'd slept with him—and no doubt even loved him—meant there could never be anything more than lust between them. And he had no intentions of doing anything about it.
Unfortunately, good intentions didn't always win.
"I'm attracted to you," he admitted. He heard his words and practically winced. Never, never, never did he think he'd say that to Lilly Nelson. But then, never did he think he'd want a woman this much.
She raked her finger over her jaw and shifted her posture slightly. "I'm attracted to you, too."
This time, he did wince. "You weren't supposed to say that. You were supposed to slap me or something."
Lilly lifted an eyebrow. Paused. Stared. "Trust me, Jason, over the past few days there are a lot of things I've thought about doing to you…" Her voice changed. The air changed. He changed. Everything changed. "But slapping you isn't one of them."
Oh. Hell.
"That was the wrong thing to say." Jason was surprised he could manage something as complex as human speech. His body and energy were suddenly pinpointed on only one thing.
Kissing Lilly.
"Anything I could say, or didn't say, would have been wrong." Lilly shrugged. "Or right. Depending on your perspective."
His perspective apparently wasn't that good right now. Neither was hers. He was sure of it.
"I blame it in part on your jeans," she informed him.
Even with their no-holds-barred conversation, he hadn't expected her to say that. "Excuse me?"
"Your jeans," Lilly said as if that clarified everything. She waited a moment. "You look really good in them. You look really good, period. And maybe because it's been so long since I've had sex. Or maybe it's you. Or me. Or the moonlight. Or your aftershave. Or maybe it's because I'm just going c
razy."
Well, they were definitely on the same wavelength, and it wasn't a good place to be. "My aftershave, huh?" Jason questioned.
She nodded. "It reminds me of leather and sex."
He frowned. "And that's a good thing?"
"Apparently so." She touched his arm, rubbed softly. Stopped. Then started again. Her fingers moved to the front of his white cotton shirt. To his chest. And she began to play with the fabric. "When I was in the laundry room this morning, I sniffed your T-shirt." She huffed. "See what you've reduced me to? Clothes sniffing. Thanks to you, I'm now a bona fide pervert."
Lilly had no doubt meant that to make him laugh. Or at least she'd meant it to break the almost unbearable tension. It didn't work. No amount of humor or sarcasm was going to defuse this.
He didn't move.
Neither did Lilly.
But he did move closer. Yep. He went in the wrong direction. His gaze traveled over her moonlit face and searched her eyes. He saw a lot of concern there. Maybe even fear. And unfortunately there was something much, much worse. He saw mirrored in her what stirred his own body.
Desire.
Minutes earlier Jason had been certain that he'd filled his quota of doing stupid things. But he was apparently wrong. He saw a flash of the future and realized he was about to make the stupidest mistake of his life.
That didn't stop him.
Nothing would stop him. He knew that now. So he quit fighting.
He reached out, slid his hand around the back of Lilly's neck and hauled her to him. She made a soft gasp when she landed against his chest. Not a gasp of shock or discomfort. It was breathy. A quivery, feminine sound.
"We're practically at war with each other," she reminded him.
It was a good reminder.
And a useless one.
"That whole war thing between us…" he lowered his mouth to hers "…is cooling down a bit." He brushed his lips over hers and elicited another of those gasps from her. "Wouldn't you say?"
"It's a little cool. But still there. And that means we shouldn't kiss," she said, her breath clipped. She shook her head and the movement stirred her hair around her face, the wisps landing on her cheek.
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