Erica didn't look back at him when she left, and Jason stood there and watched as the officer shut the door behind them.
"I'm sorry," Lilly repeated.
"So am I, but this had to be done. It's bad enough having suspects out there in the city. I couldn't have one under the same roof."
"Still, that didn't make it easier."
No. It didn't. But he thought his decision might allow him to sleep a little easier tonight.
"There's another problem with Erica being a suspect," Lilly continued. She went to the door, locked it and reactivated the security system. "Wasn't she here at the house with Megan the night someone tried to smother me?"
Since he'd already mentally gone over this info, he knew the answer to that one. "Erica had the night off, and my neighbor was here to watch Megan."
"Oh." She leaned her back against the door. "Okay, so that really could mean that Erica's a suspect."
It did. And it completely changed the motive for what was happening. Of course, that didn't mean Erica was the sole culprit. Jason simply couldn't picture Erica perched on a rooftop shooting at them with a high-powered rifle. So, did that mean there was more than one person after Lilly? Was this some conspiracy, or was it simply two people with two totally different sinister agendas?
"You look exhausted," Lilly observed.
Maybe because he was. Past exhaustion, really. He kept that to himself and switched to a more comfortable topic. "What did Megan and you do all morning?"
Her mouth curved slightly. A brief, amused smile. And she took a step toward him. Slowly. Not some calculated saunter, either. The limp threw off any chance of a seductive stance, and yet that limp, that slight imperfection, made her look all the more human.
As if he needed anything to do that.
"Hmm. Is that question a ploy to distract me from telling you that you look exhausted, or do you really want to know?" Lilly asked.
Well, it was clear that Lilly wasn't going to allow this to be a safe conversation. "Both."
No amused smile that time. Instead, Lilly cleared her throat. "When did we start being so…honest with each other?"
Jason went to her. So they could keep their conversation soft and not wake Megan. Or at least, that's the reason he gave himself for closing the already narrow distance between them. However, to stop himself from doing anything too stupid, he crammed his hands into his jeans' pockets and promised himself that that's where he'd keep them.
"You think we're being honest?" he asked.
Caution flickered in her eyes. They were more blue today than green, and shimmered. "Probably not. It's hard to have a momentous air-clearing that could lead to total honesty meltdown while people keep trying to kill us." She paused. Frowned. "And there is an us in danger now. Thanks to me. Just call me Typhoid Lilly."
"So you're blaming yourself for some homicidal maniac shooting at us?" Jason asked.
"The gunman was aiming for me, and that's what put you in danger." Groaning and burying her face in her hands, she slid down and sat on the floor with her back against the front door. "I keep going over what happened. I keep kicking myself. Conditioned response—indeed. Go to my office to try to trigger some memories. And what happens? I nearly get you killed in the process."
Jason waited a moment. "Are you finished beating yourself up?" He went closer, eased his hands from his pockets and stooped down so they were at eye level.
Lilly met him at that eye level when she lowered her hands from her face. And she ignored his question. "It wasn't enough for me to be negligent in Greg's death, but last night, I almost did the same to you."
Jason didn't like the sound of that. He waited another moment. "Now are you finished?"
"No. I'm just getting started."
That pained look on her face intensified. It made him want to comfort her. But pulling her into his arms would mean touching her. And he knew for a fact that just wasn't a good idea. Not with the fatigue and this dangerous energy between them.
Still, he couldn't make himself turn away.
He couldn't stop himself from listening.
And he couldn't stop the ache he had for her.
Because this was forbidden. Taboo. And for some reason that only made him want her more.
"I replay the moments leading up to the shooting," Lilly continued, obviously not willing to drop the subject. "I replay the moments before Greg walked out of my house. I keep thinking if I could just go back and change things—"
"You can't."
Lilly blinked and seemingly listened for answers he couldn't give her. "But then how do I get past it, huh? How do you ever get to the point where you can forgive me? Where I can forgive myself?"
It was a question he'd asked himself at least a thousand times. "I don't know," he said honestly. "But I know blaming yourself won't do any good."
"Maybe not any good, but I don't see how we can avoid it." She raked her finger over her eyebrow. "And how do we get past this…stuff we're feeling for each other?"
"That's a fantastic question," he mumbled.
"Do you have a fantastic answer?"
He shook his head and met her gaze. Not good. It only made him want to move closer to her, and he was already too close as it was. "Lilly, I don't even have a bad answer. Truth is…I don't have any kind of answer at all."
"But you agree that feeling this way is wrong, that it'll only make things more complicated?"
"I agree. Massive complications. And there's that part about it causing us to lose focus while there's all this danger around us."
"Good point," she conceded. She didn't exactly sound thankful for his reminding her of that, either. Which was a good thing. Because Jason hoped the reminder would make her move away.
It sure as heck wasn't working for him.
But she didn't move. Lilly sat there, her attention fastened to him. She gave him no sultry come-on looks. No whispered invitations. No anything. Still, it happened. The air stirred between them. Everything stirred.
Especially his body.
Jason might have talked himself out of what he was thinking about doing. Might. But he didn't even try. Somewhere along the way, he'd lost the battle with reason and was functioning on some primitive level where desire replaced common sense.
Cursing himself, cursing her, cursing this unquenchable need he had for her, Jason leaned forward, slid his hand around the back of her head and tugged her closer to him.
The fire was instant. No more smoldering flames. This was white-hot, and it burned through him. Consuming him. He couldn't think. Couldn't talk. But he could feel. And right now, that was the only thing he wanted to do.
He wanted to feel Lilly in his arms.
Feel his mouth on her.
He wanted to feel everything.
Jason took her as if he owned her. Her lips, pressing against his. Her body, moving against his. Soon, it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. He tested the taste of her, touching his tongue to hers, and he quickly realized that her taste only made him want her more.
The battle started. The frenzied need for them to touch each other. They fought, grappling for position until Lilly maneuvered her way into his lap.
The kiss continued.
They took and ravished. And took some more. Both starving for what the other was so willing to give.
Jason finally broke the intimate contact when he remembered that he needed air to live. Lilly gulped in some much-needed breaths, as well, while she clung to him.
"What about Megan?" she asked, her voice broken by her breathing.
He'd already thought of that. "We'll hear her if she wakes up," Jason promised.
Lilly nodded, obviously not ready to question that, and she latched on to him and went back for more.
The second battle was just as intense. No longer content with just her mouth, Jason took his kisses to her neck. Lilly made a sound. A low, sensual moan. Definitely not a request for him to stop.
So, Jason didn't stop.
Chapter Ten
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lilly realized this was a massive mistake.
She knew all the arguments and knew them well. Jason was Greg's brother. The man who could challenge her for custody. The man who had in the past and could continue to make her life a living Hades.
But she no longer cared about arguments and such.
She took things from Jason that she hadn't even known she wanted. The strength from his embrace. The mind-blowing thrill of his kisses. And, mercy, he was a good kisser. The gentleness of his touch. The need. Most of all, the need. She could feel it all through him, and it only fed her own desire for him.
Lilly decided to take everything he was giving her since there was no chance she'd talk her body, or his, into slowing down. There was a frantic urgency in their kisses. It was a race, but against what she didn't know. All that mattered was that they had to have each other now.
He took her neck. She took his. And she touched. Really touched. Letting her palm slide down all those toned, firm pecs. And his rock-hard abs. She was guessing that he had a six-pack, and she shoved up his shirt to confirm that.
Yes, the man was built.
Jason touched, too. And he was decidedly better at it than she was. While he cupped her neck with one hand and kissed her blind, he let that other clever hand wander in the direction of her right breast. Somehow, even through the fabric of her silk dress and her bra, he managed to locate her nipple, and he pinched it lightly. Just enough pressure to make her want him to do it again and again and again.
"Yes." She let him know in case he'd missed the needy sounds she was making.
"Yes?" Jason questioned, meeting her gaze. But he obviously already knew the answer because he gave her another of those little pinches.
"Yes," she assured him.
Maybe because they now had eye contact, it occurred to her that she should suggest that they stop. But her body promptly disagreed with that. She was hot and aching for him to do more than merely pinch. Mercy, she wanted him.
He pulled her back to him and buried his face in her hair. His breath hit against her neck. It was warm. Quick. His pulse and heartbeat must have been pounding because she could feel it wherever they touched. And they seemed to be touching everywhere.
Except in the very place she wanted him to touch most.
Jason obviously guessed what she wanted because he looped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Lilly made adjustments. No easy feat with her legs still not functioning a hundred percent, but she somehow managed to put her knees on each side of his hips.
She moved forward. Saw stars. Really big stars. Then the vee of her panties struck right against the front of his jeans. Lilly could feel him. Every inch of him. That hard ridge straining against the denim.
His mouth was on her neck. Pressing. He slid his hand up her thigh to the front of her panties. Since she'd already moved past into the shameless zone, because every part of her was on fire, Lilly moved against his fingers. Intimately. But not gently. She didn't want gentle. She wanted to feel alive. She wanted to feel needed. She wanted to—
He hooked his fingers onto the elastic of her panties.
And he slipped his hand inside.
Every coherent or semicoherent thought she had flew right out of her head.
"Touch me," she heard herself whisper.
Jason cooperated. He touched her, and he didn't have any trouble finding the right place. Nor was he especially gentle. He made rough, almost frantic slippery strokes. While his mouth feasted on her cheek and neck. While his erection pressed against her thigh. Until she couldn't think. Until she couldn't breathe. Until she didn't care if she ever did either of those things again.
But even without the ability to think or breath, Lilly knew it was time to take this to the next level. She reached for his zipper. Jason took it up a notch, as well. He shoved her dress up to her waist.
Then he stopped.
And stared at her.
Lilly blinked, trying to focus. Trying to figure out what had happened to bring everything to an abrupt halt.
"I don't have a condom."
Oh, great. Somehow, even through her passion-hazed brain, she understood that. She also understood she didn't have an immediate solution. "Neither do I."
He cursed. It was a four-letter word for what they would be doing if they'd had a condom.
"I don't guess there's one in the house somewhere?" she asked. And she was hoping the answer was yes.
Jason shook his head. "I haven't had a woman here."
Because of Megan. Lilly understood that. Her body didn't like it, but she understood it.
Logic and normalcy slowly began to return, little by little, and with each passing second, she began to feel more and more self-conscious. The passion began to fade. So did the immediate, pressing need to have wild sex on the floor with Jason.
All right, she couldn't lie to herself. She still had that particular need for wild sex, but it was stupid to have pushed things this far without at least making a few rudimentary plans—like buying a condom.
Frustrated, she eased out of his lap and pulled her dress back into place so that she was covered. She hadn't minded her seminudity during the crazy foreplay, but it seemed awkward now.
"Please don't say you're sorry that happened," he whispered.
She dodged his gaze. "Sorry isn't the correct word. Embarrassed."
"Why? Because we acted on what we've been feeling for days?"
Lilly debated several answers but went with the truth. "This whole lack-of-condom thing reminds me a little of teenagers with their hormones out of control. Plus, I'm not sure sex would have been a smart idea."
"It wouldn't have been smart," Jason readily concurred. He paused, smiled. Dimples flashed. "But it would have been damn good."
She couldn't help it. She laughed. Lilly savored the light moment, but at the same time she knew it did nothing to cut the tension that was so thick she could taste it.
"Once we find out who's trying to kill us," he said, sounding as disappointed and as unfulfilled as Lilly felt, "we can concentrate on what's happening, or not happening, between us."
Yes, that was logical.
Maybe a little too logical, considering that he was still aroused. And that got Lilly thinking.
What had just happened?
She thought about keeping the question to herself. Maybe mulling it over for a while. But Jason was here, right in front of her, and before the kissing and touching, they'd had this whole honesty discussion going on between them.
"I have to know. All this kissing and touching—does it have anything to do with Megan?" Lilly asked.
That seemed to freeze him for several seconds. "Excuse me?"
After seeing his reaction, she instantly regretted her question. But there was no turning back now. Even if it hurt like the devil, she had to know the truth. "Is this your way of working out a custody arrangement?"
No freezing that time. Her question earned her a scalpel-sharp glare, and he had to unclench his teeth before he could speak. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
She caught his arm to stop him when he started to get up. "No, you're not. You're going to search your heart and tell me if that's what you're really feeling."
And judging from the arctic look on Jason's face, she wouldn't like his answer.
* * *
JASON WANTED NOTHING more than to dismiss Lilly's question, but he couldn't.
Hell.
One minute, they were all wrapped up in each other's arms, sharing hot kisses and on the verge of having equally hot sex. Now, he felt as if he were facing a firing squad.
And facing a moment of truth.
Lilly had simply asked what had been on his mind for days, and it was time to deal with it.
"If a relationship of convenience is what it takes for us both to be with Megan, will you consider it?" he asked, hoping she didn't slap him.
But if she had intentions of
slapping him, Lilly didn't follow through on them. That's because they heard the sound at the end of the hall. Little footsteps. A moment later, the owner of those little footsteps appeared, and Megan toddled toward them.
Lilly did a double check to make sure they were both decent. They were. And she smiled at Megan. The little girl returned the smile. A sleepy one. She had woken up a little too early from her nap.
Megan stopped when she was just a few inches away and gave each of them a considering look. Obviously she felt she had some sort of decision to make. It didn't take her long, though. She went to Jason, sank down next to him and rested her head against his arm.
It was one of those magic moments that he'd been lucky enough to share often with Megan. He treasured times like this. However, he knew these were no longer just Megan's and his moments. He picked up Megan, kissed her cheek and deposited her onto Lilly's lap.
Jason didn't know which of them was most surprised by that.
Megan look confused. Lilly, stunned. And he was sure he was both. Still, Megan didn't protest the new arrangement. She settled against Lilly and closed her eyes to finish her nap.
Lilly lifted her eyes to meet his. Thank you, she mouthed.
He braced himself for some feelings of jealousy, but those feelings thankfully didn't come. Progress, indeed.
"Well?" he prompted. "Would you consider a relationship of convenience?"
Lilly moistened her lips and looked down at Megan. "I'd consider almost anything for her sake. But we're already facing an obstacle or two in the convenience department. Sometimes the fire and heat burn out and leave a lot of bitterness. When that happens, it doesn't make anything convenient."
Jason didn't have to ask her to clarify. He knew. And unfortunately, he also knew she was probably right. But was there enough common ground between them to overcome anything? He didn't get a chance to pose that question to her because the phone in the living room rang. Since it could have something to do with security or the investigation, Jason quickly got up to answer it.
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