by Neve Wilder
“Don’t. I’m good just like this. This is like some stand-in for that damn handkerchief, isn’t it?” he teased, and I chuckled as I dropped the washcloth on the table and folded him into my arms again.
“Let me do the ice, at least.”
“This is nice,” he said around a yawn as I laid a towel over his ass and applied the pack.
I think he was asleep before he finished the sentence.
I woke to an empty bed and pulled on a pair of sweats before heading into the kitchen to find Cole standing in front of my coffee maker. His tux pants hung loose and unbuttoned around his hips, and his shirt and jacket lay over the kitchen table as he grumbled at the machine and thumped the side.
“Try a lighter touch there, savage.”
He startled, then angled a look over his shoulder as he held up a package of coffee grounds. “I’m a little embarrassed to say I can’t remember how much to put in. Keurigs have spoiled me.”
“As much as will fit.”
He narrowed his eyes as I bumped against him and reached an arm around him, enjoying the brush of his skin against mine when I took the package from his hands.
“Meaning to get me hard before I’ve even had coffee?”
“I’ve had worse starts to a day.” I dumped the grounds in the filter, reached my other hand around him, and set the filter inside the basket before mashing the brew button, then skirted off to one side to retrieve some mugs.
Cole started to lean back against the counter, then winced and appeared to think better of it. “I wasn’t planning on hanging around, actually. There’s the farewell brunch—”
“In an hour and a half. But your stomach’s rumbling right now, and I’d like to cook you breakfast.”
“Really?” He pressed a hand to his stomach and gave me a sheepish smile.
I laughed. “Yeah, unless I’ve unintentionally interrupted your attempt to make a clean break.” Actually, glancing over at his shirt and coat on the table again gave me the idea I’d done just that.
He followed my gaze, and his cheeks pinked. “Isn’t that what any average human does after a hookup?”
“Some graduate to postcoital interaction. Conversation. Breakfast with their partners. Sometimes”—I extended a mug toward him—“a round two.”
“I’m not sure my ass could take it. On multiple counts. The spirit might be willing, but the flesh is…red as hell.”
“That tender, huh?” I set down my mug and stepped in close to skim a hand along his ass. “Let me take a look.”
Cole laughed and tried to shove me away. “No. I’m not going to stand here and let you examine me like I’m some pa—ow.”
I loosened the zip on his pants further so the fabric grazed the globes of his ass rather than dragged. “Gorgeous,” I drawled of the angry marks. It’d been so long since I’d striped an ass, I’d nearly forgotten the satisfaction that came from seeing my handiwork on someone else.
I couldn’t help myself; I dropped down behind him, bringing his trousers to his knees as I pressed a kiss to the join of his thigh and left asscheek. Cole exhaled a low groan and listed to one side. Steadying him with my palms, I trailed my lips over the seam of his ass, easing his cheeks apart to flick my tongue over his hole.
“Oh, that’s…fuck…I don’t think anyone has ever been there this early in the morning.”
I grinned as I stood and swatted his flank lightly. “It looks fine. No broken skin. I’ll give you a tube of ointment to take with you. So, breakfast or the great escape?”
“God, you’re a tease. Ummmm.” Cole seemed to consider me, the coffeepot, and his shirt on the table.
I deflated a little at his hesitation. When his phone buzzed a second later, he snatched it up, mouthed a hang on, and turned to pace toward the living room. A stream of uh-huhs followed.
“Fate has decided. Or actually, my mom has,” he said when he returned. “I’m supposed to help her shuttle the over-seventy-five crew to the brunch. Apparently you fucked my social calendar right out of me because she insists she told me that multiple times yesterday.”
9
Cole
Dane followed me into the bedroom and caught me by the waist. I went still, the shoe I’d been toeing into forgotten. His eyes were an arresting steely blue that I’d very much taken for granted when I was younger, and had never seen as closely as I did now with them roaming over me in concern.
“Do you regret last night?” he asked. “Because I don’t, but I’m having trouble reading your demeanor this morning.”
When I’d crawled out of the bed and pulled my pants on earlier, I’d intended to continue right out the door but then decided the nice thing to do would be to start Dane’s coffee. Some kind of thanks for the fucking, a well wish that was slightly above just ditching out and doing the walk of shame back to the hotel. Or maybe I could admit to myself that I was a little reluctant to go despite being intimidated as hell. Last night had been wonderful and insanely sexy. It had been a fantasy come to life. And then, in the afterglow, wholly overwhelming. It was evident to me that Dane had worlds of experience I didn’t.
“I’m…no, I don’t regret it. I’ve just never done that before,” I fumbled. “Obviously I’ve fucked other men before, but the other things, it’s… I don’t have a protocol for the morning after someone’s caned your ass raw and watched you fuck a sex toy.”
My mom’s number flashed on my screen again, and I quickly silenced the ring.
“I meant to leave the guidebook on the nightstand next to you last night.” Dane regarded me with humor in his eyes as he trailed a finger from my throat down my sternum and around to my ass. The lightness of his touch was seductive, and I barely checked a quiver as I swallowed hard and tried to remember what I was doing.
“You enjoyed it, though, right? Because—” I stopped and let out a breath, then shook my head. Those were my own insecurities. No need to show them to a man who’d done absolutely nothing other than give me everything I’d asked for. And then some.
“It was no watermelon, but…”
I rolled my eyes at him, failing to suppress a grin as I started to move past him. Dane grasped me by the shoulders and held me still.
“I enjoyed every last second of it, Cole. Does that help?”
“A little bit, yeah?” I sucked in a raspy breath as he slid his hand behind my waistband. The irritated flesh stung with his touch. I liked it, though, liked how his fingers prowled over the sensitive areas, liked how he touched me. Hell, I wanted more of it. “I’ll see you at the brunch, yeah?”
He removed his hand. “Briefly, yes. I’ve got to go in to work.”
“On a Sunday?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Well, shit. Strike what my father said: lawyer life sounds like the suck. I’ll stick to my nine-to-five and my view of a bagel shop’s awning.” When my phone started ringing again, I was tempted to throw it in Dane’s fancy self-flushing toilet that had scared the bejesus out of me at 3:30 in the morning. “Fuck!”
“Go.” Dane squeezed my shoulder and brushed a quick kiss over my cheek before he pulled back and gestured for the door. “You have my number.”
“Yeah, okay, going. Sorry.” I hoofed it out of there, and it wasn’t until I was back in my car on my way to my parents’ that I realized I’d not kissed him goodbye, thanked him, or anything. I couldn’t decide whether that meant I’d made a nice, uncomplicated exit, or just a rude one.
“Spill,” Shay demanded after she cornered me near the omelet station at the farewell brunch. I glanced over at Aaron, deep in conversation with our cousin, Jeffrey, and then back to Shay. Dane stood with my father, who was gesturing animatedly with his coffee mug. Dane glanced up, caught my eye, and smiled. I stuffed another bite of bagel in my mouth, tempted to gesture that he should move back another foot from my dad. Dad was a repeat-offender coffee slosher when he got going. Especially if the subject was politics. From the velocity of his mug, I gathered that was indeed the case. I
bit back a grin as Dane figured it out for himself and took a step back.
“There’s nothing to spill,” I told Shay around the bagel and in my best please-drop-it voice.
“You’ve been sitting like you’ve got a pine cone in your ass. I’m a concerned sister, now.” She batted her lashes sweetly. “And if you got together with Dane, I want to know so I can squeal with delight internally.”
Wow. I thought I’d been subtle, but apparently not. “It’s creepy that you’ve taken notice of my sitting posture. Is this open conversation about my sex life going to be a regular thing?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “It’s sex. Sex is fun.”
“Sex is private.”
“Pffft.” Shay reached for an orange slice off the fruit display, ate half, and then set the rest on my bagel plate. “Fine.”
I popped the rest of the segment into my mouth and admitted as casually as I could manage, “He caned my ass, then fucked me stupid, and now I feel a little like an idiot. Like, he really might have fucked me stupid. How’s that for a brotherly welcome? Have we strengthened our sibling bond now?”
Shay grinned at my sarcasm. “I think so, actually. But why would you feel like an idiot? I think it’s wonderful. He hasn’t been down for playing like that for a long time. Since—”
“I know. He told me about his ex. That sucks. And he’s also superhot and incredibly good in bed and it was fantastic,” I said in a rush.
“You two are perfect for each other, though.” She waggled her brows at me.
“Perfect for a night. I got weird and then made everything else weird and left without really even saying a goodbye. In fact, I’m pretty sure I apologized as I went, and I’m not even sure for what.”
“Yeah, but that’s fixable,” she countered.
“Mmm. Maybe. Shouldn’t we be talking about your night, though? It must’ve been momentous, considering how you so diligently saved yourself for your wedding night and all,” I teased. “Actually, never mind. I don’t want to know any more than I already do.”
She laughed. “The funny part is that it was probably the quickest quickie in the history of quickies, because we were both exhausted. I’d be curious to know what percentage of people actually have satisfying sex on a wedding night. I’ll bet it’s not many.” She poked me. “But you’re avoiding my question.”
“Dane and I live in different cities. We’re virtual strangers now. It was one of the best hookups I’ve had, but there’s no long-term potential there.” I listed off the practical considerations. “Stop trying to play matchmaker. Is this some kind of side effect of marriage? Does it get better or worse?”
“Probably worse. If I start urging you to have children, please take me to a doctor. My mom is already asking if Aaron and I are going to start ‘trying’ soon, and it’s driving me crazy. I want to tell her I’ve spent the last decade plus trying not to have a baby per her stern advice to me at fourteen, so it’s gonna take me a minute to shift gears. Maybe more than a minute.”
“Someone pressuring you to do something is driving you crazy? Imagine that!” I lowered my chin and gave her a pointed look.
“Okayyyyy. I get it,” she relented with a cackle, then snatched the rest of the bagel off my plate. “It’s just that Dane….ehh. Whatever. Yeah. I need another mimosa. I’m not planning on boarding a flight to paradise sober.”
Fresh cup of coffee in hand, I rejoined Dane at our table, where a lively conversation about football was in progress that I had no intention of participating in.
After a few minutes, Dane touched my forearm. “I’m about to head to the office. Walk me out.”
“I’m sorry I left so abruptly this morning. It was rude,” I said as we leaned against his car—some fancy Audi model as sleek and streamlined in appearance as Dane.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and arched his back in a stretch. “You were flustered. And maybe a little rude but”—he smiled—“I’m capable of mercy.”
I drank him in, the dark tousled hair and deep-set eyes. I’d been watching him all morning, trying to match up the man he was now with the boy I’d known in high school. There was much that was the same physically; it was the intangible aspects of him that registered as different. And strangely enough, that inspired a free-floating sense of jealousy in me for the years I’d missed.
But he certainly seemed happy now, regardless.
“I wish we hadn’t grown apart,” I admitted. “I feel like that’s my fault.” I’d been thinking about that all morning, too.
Dane blinked in surprise. “What? No. I’ve never thought that. I assumed it was circumstantial and”—he removed his hand from his pocket, keys jangling—“I came out. You were seeing that girl. Then I got a boyfriend. It was the summer before college…” He shrugged, like the litany of circumstances made our drifting apart an inevitable consequence. “It just happened.”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t know how to react to you telling me you were gay because it kicked up a bunch of fuzz that had been running through my head and made me uncomfortable. And instead of supporting you and also using that opportunity to figure my own shit out, I just ignored all of it and made everything awkward between us. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be around me.”
“It was high school. Everyone’s an idiot in high school.” Dane turned toward me with a wry smile. “We could be friends again, you know. Now that we’re adults.”
It was probably lip service. But it was nice lip service, so I smiled in return. “I’d like that.” I touched his arm as he clicked his key fob to unlock the door, and when he glanced up at me, wrapped him in a brief hug. “And thank you for last night. It was…” Sexy beyond belief, mind-blowing, future jerk fodder. “Exactly what I’d hoped for.”
“If you happen to be in town over Thanksgiving this year, I will be, too. In case you want to take another look in my drawers.” His gaze raked me up and down, unabashedly suggestive, and I laughed as he waggled his brows and then ducked inside his car. “I’ll message you tomorrow, make sure your ass isn’t too traumatized. Use that cream I gave you.”
“Yessir.” I saluted.
He fixed me with a lascivious grin that made my heart race. “You don’t even want to start with that business. Trust me.”
If I thought I’d just return home to Bensonville and go back to business as usual, I was fooling myself. I couldn’t get Dane off my mind. As I’d driven home, every searing jolt of pain when I shifted in my seat brought back visions of him behind me, on top of me, his face inches from mine, the untempered lust in his eyes, and the raspy growls as he’d thrust into me.
I spent a third of the drive with a semi, and the rest thinking about how he’d held me afterward. And how I’d fallen asleep in his arms.
But it wasn’t just the sex with him. I thought about high school, all the time we’d spent together and how it’d stopped after he’d come out. How my heart had tightened in my chest when he’d said gay, a tiny swell of empathy and recognition dawning inside me that I’d put so much effort into squashing and avoiding. Until a few years later when I couldn’t anymore.
A week later, I was organizing my desktop at work and preparing to go to lunch when my boss, Blaine, rapped lightly on my door before seeing himself in and dropping into one of the chairs across from my desk.
“Those brand guides look pretty good.”
“Thanks. I should have the new stationery system finished this week.” I settled back in my chair and eyed him as he looked around my office. Something was on his mind.
“Do you think you could get it finished before Wednesday?”
“Ummmm, sure, probably.” It meant another couple of late nights, but what were two more at this point. “Is there a reason you need them before Friday?”
“I need you to come with me to Metrotech in Vintage Ridge on Wednesday. The acquisition is moving forward, and they’re not sure if they’ll rebrand yet, but they’d like to see what you’ve been working on.”
/> “Shit. Okay.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The whole reason I’d been hired here at HealthCloud was to refresh their branding and organize their admittedly small in-house design department to position them better in the healthcare app market. They’d offered a great salary, and though I’d known they were meeting with other companies for a potential buyout, I’d expected that to take a year or more. I guessed it was time to dust off my resume again.
“I know.” Blaine made a sympathetic face. “But don’t go glass-half-empty on me yet. I think they’re considering keeping this office intact as a satellite. It might be downsized some, but that’s not necessarily a guarantee you’re going to be out of a job.”
“It’s not a guarantee I won’t, either.” I sighed and glanced around my office. I liked it here. I liked my coworkers in the department; I even liked Blaine, which was pretty rare in my experience. In fact, the only thing I wasn’t too keen on was… “Will Jason be going?”
“Most certainly.” Blaine eyed me as I tempered my expression. “That hasn’t been a problem before—will it be now?”
“Nope.” I shook my head quickly. “Just wanted to know what to expect. And yes, I can have the stationery system done by Wednesday, and anything else you might need. Just let me know.”
Blaine rapped the top of my desk lightly. “That’s the spirit.”
Once he was gone, I shot a message to Jason.
Cole: You could’ve given me some forewarning on the merger.
Jason: I only found out a day ago.
I pressed my lips together, trying to decide if it was worth the effort to make a point. Probably not. It was just so classically Jason not to share something like this with me. And like all the other times when I started to get frustrated with him, attached to that frustration was the knowledge that I’d put up with it for years.
Cole: Alright.
Jason: I’m serious. It wasn’t a sure thing.