Susie fell asleep in my arms and I carefully rolled over on to my side and closed my eyes. Don’t fuck this up, Sean. She’s a good girl and you don’t deserve her.
Susie quietly says, “Goodnight Sean, I love you.”
I pretended to be asleep and she never rolled over towards me. My mind was racing a mile a minute. Stay calm. You don’t have to respond now. You can’t love anybody except for your kids right now. Don’t hurt this girl, you idiot. How did I ever get myself into this situation? Now she ‘loves’ me. This girl wants a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. I can’t give that to her. My stomach was in a knot and my heart was beating out of my chest. I controlled my breathing and kept my eyes closed. I laid there for what felt like an eternity waiting for Susie to say anything else, but she did not and neither did I.
I woke up around 0800 and Susie was already out of bed. We usually fooled around in the morning or just talked for a while, not this morning. I got up and put on my pants and went out into the living room. Susie had some tea brewing and bread on the table that we had shared hash and champagne the night before.
She smiled and handed me a hot cup of tea. “Did you sleep all right? I think you did, you barely moved after I was done with you.” Susie was smiling when she said that, but there was a hint of pain to her face. She knew I was awake when she told me that she loved me.
I played it off and said, “Yes, you absolutely wiped me out baby.” I quickly reverted her attention and asked, “So, what do you have planned for today? I’m thinking I will go back to Milwaukee and start getting rid of shit I don’t need and organizing the stuff I want to bring here.”
Susie smiled and said, “So you do want to move in?”
I put down my tea and put my arms around her waist, “I don’t see anybody else asking? It makes sense that we live together. I do think we will have to figure out somewhere bigger though. When the boys are with us we will need the room.”
Susie looked down at the floor in silence when I said that. It was awkward because neither of us knew if they were even alive. I knew in my gut they were and I was going to find them. I had to.
I gathered my belongings and headed for the door. Susie hugged me and kissed me. “Are you coming back tonight?”
I nodded yes and said, “I have to go to Milwaukee and start getting organized. I’m going to bring back some essentials with me. I promise not to clutter your place up too much. Don’t wait up for me. I might be late coming home.”
Susie gave me one last kiss and put something in my hand. It was a key to her apartment and she smiled and nodded at me. I kissed her again and no other words were spoken. They didn’t have to be. I headed for my new ride.
I headed for my new ride and it was still in one piece. I was laughing to myself thinking of the poor schmucks who tried to break in to it last night. I fired up this beast and started to head towards the beltline, or what was left of it. Most of it was still intact and the parts that were messed up I could navigate with this vehicle. I was going to go see Ben and ask him if it would be okay to store some of my stuff in Cambridge. I called him on the way and he told me there were reports of some light arms fire the day before in the area where I previously had my run-in with the land pirates.
I was about five miles out of Madison and my information screen on my 4-Runner started to make noises and Nick’s face popped up. There he was coming to me live to my truck. “Heading out of Madison I see. I hope Susie liked your surprises. Touch the button in the lower right hand corner of the screen.” I did and the screen was split with my face now next to his.
I started to laugh. “Okay. This is kinda creepy Nick. It’s bad enough I have to see my face, but your ugly mug too?” The images would blur every now and then and the audio would cut intermittently out for a second or two.
Nick laughed back at me, “Do you think I want to see your ugly puss also? I hope you are getting the hang of your new ride. Remember your owner’s manual is in the glove box. So I see you’re heading towards Cambridge.” I didn’t like the idea that he or anybody knew my exact location at all times.
I pointed my middle finger at the screen saying, “Ya, you want to join me? There’s plenty of room in here for you.”
Nick’s expression became serious as he said, “Location Alpha Two Greek. Tomorrow at fourteen hundred.” I nodded my head and said, “Copy that. See you then.” At that the screen went dark again and I thought that “Alpha Two Greek” was where the old Parthenon restaurant used to stand. Nick and I used to go there after a long night of libations for some gyros. That has to what he meant. I guess this will be my instructions for my first assignment.
I stopped at the checkpoint that would lead me into Cambridge. A fresh faced guard smiled as he checked my identification and his clipboard and waved me through. Ben’s V.W. Thing was parked out in front of the police department and I showed the two guards my credentials that were posted in front. There were sandbags in front and another guard in back.
I was escorted into Ben’s office where he was waiting for me. He sprung to his feet and greeted me with a hardy handshake, “Good to see you, old boy. You look great! There’s something different about you. There must be a woman in your life.”
I laughed and said, “Is it that obvious? Enough about my love life, are you expecting trouble?”
Ben sat down behind his desk and I sat in front of him. Ben had a serious look on his face and said, “I lost one of my coppers last week to one of those land pirate fucks. He was only 21 years old. The kid was lured out of the perimeter of the city thinking he was helping out a scared female. It was a trap and he went missing for a couple of days. We found him, or what was left of him about a half mile down the road outside the city limits. I had to beef up security.”
I gave out a heavy sigh, “I’m so sorry Ben. That’s the burden of command though. You tell your people to do their jobs and sometimes the cost is more than what we can bear.” I was a sergeant for years in the police department so that made me a front line street boss. I was the one that would make the decision to kick a door not knowing what was behind it. Or I would call the SWAT team in and be second guessed by everybody for overreacting. Unfortunately, I’ve been in Ben’s shoes and I knew this wouldn’t be the last time something like this was going to happen in his little city.
Ben shifted gears before he became too emotional, “What can I do for you my friend?”
I explained my new romantic situation to him and my impending relocation. I asked if I could store some equipment such as guns and spare parts for them and ammo in Cambridge. I told him I would be stashing some in Madison at my friend Frank’s house. I didn’t want all my eggs in one basket. I also told him that I took a job with the government.
Ben started to laugh when I told him about my new job, “So I’m sure you can’t tell me much about that. I understand. How about this? There is a small two-bedroom ranch about a block from here that I will let you have. It’s been vacant since the war started. An older couple used to live there. They left before things went to shit and I haven’t heard from them since. They were from Chicago originally and had kids there. I think they went to be with them. Bad move since most of the city isn’t there anymore.” He caught himself remembering my folks lived there and were most likely vaporized along with everybody else. “Sorry, Sean.”
I smiled at him and said, “Don’t worry about it. My parents are—were—tough birds. I’m sure they had a whiskey in hand and watched the fireworks from their front porch. Not much scared them. Your offer of the house is very generous. Are you sure?”
Ben smiled, “I insist! Maybe you and your kids and the new Mrs. will eventually relocate there. I would love to have you in the community. I’ll make sure your 4-Runner gets delivered there when it comes my way.”
The thought of having a house with a white picket fence was intoxicating to me. Susie was expecting a lot from me and this would be a golden opportunity to wipe away some of the pain
we both have endured. That will not happen any time soon. My kids and Susie deserved it, but that wasn’t me. At least for now that wasn’t me. I would be forced to do things that will shake me to the core. I don’t know if I will ever be “normal” again after all I’ve seen and what will be expected of me.
21 Guns, Camels, and Coffee
I made the trip to Milwaukee without incident. It was dusk by the time I made it home. The sky was grey with a tinge of red to it as the sun disappeared. I went into my house and it was dark and uninviting to me now. I knew in my heart I didn’t belong here anymore. I didn’t have anything keeping me here. I walked through the house and made my way to the basement where I would turn in. I couldn’t sleep in my bed upstairs anymore, not after Karl died there. My goodnight texts to Susie were not returned. I’m guessing they never made it. I only had one bar on my personal phone and I didn’t want to start using my work phones because I wanted some privacy.
I woke up the next morning at 0600. I checked my phone and there were no missed calls or texts from Susie. A bit odd but I wasn’t going to panic. I gathered up some clothes and other toiletries and packed them up in my truck. I even packed my Snoopy alarm clock. I locked up the house and headed down my block. It was quiet and I didn’t see any signs of life. Usually there was a light on or you could hear voices, but there was nothing this time. I looked in my rearview mirror and fixed on my house. There were lots of ghosts in that shack. Ghosts of when things were good with my ex, my kids growing up, learning how to ride their bikes in front of the house. I remembered throwing a football around with my oldest kid in the front yard. He was better than me and I kept dropping the ball, he called me “stone hands.” All that was gone now.
Unfortunately, there were also bad memories. The screaming matches with my ex. The feeling of dread I had walking in the door. Knowing my ex would be waiting to start some stupid argument about something that didn’t matter. These arguments were usually after I got my ass kicked at work physically and emotionally. This is when my marriage quickly deteriorated and it broke my heart that the kids had to witness this. These were memories to me now. It was time to start a new chapter and most importantly, find my kids and take care of them at all costs.
I decided to take I-94 back to Madison. I began to second guess that decision due to the heavy volume of traffic. It was mostly commercial trucks delivering much needed goods and supplies. There was also a large presence of military vehicles to make sure they didn’t get hijacked. During one of the many times that traffic had ground to a halt, I looked up at the sky to see if there were any commercial jets in the air. Usually there was a steady stream of aircraft between the airports in Madison and Milwaukee. I was on my motorcycle the first time all air traffic was suspended due to the first terror attack on New York. I had been out with Frank the night before and was awoken by one of my cop friends telling me that we were under attack.
I had to get to work as soon as possible. I was driving my motorcycle on I-94 going about 80-90 miles per hour with little traffic. I would look up at the sky every now and then (I know, not very safe) and there were no planes. It was so eerie. Now there were the occasional KC-135 or C-130s and some fighter jets would scream across the sky. There were also some Apaches, Blackhawks and even a Huey that would give support and intel if there was a problem on the ground that needed some extra attention. I could have used one of those friends when those Land Pirates were attacking.
I pulled up in front of the apartment building that Susie lived in and grabbed my belongings. This would take a couple of trips and was hoping that Susie could help out. I knocked on the door and there was no answer. This was odd and I let myself in with the key that Susie gave me. It felt strange, letting myself in with a key to her place. It felt like I was invading her privacy in some way. I called out for her and checked out the other rooms and there was no sign of her. I went back to my truck a couple of more times and put my stuff in her bedroom. The blue dress she wore yesterday was still on the ground next to her bed. It brought back wonderful memories of her in it and her getting out of it.
My personal phone beeped and it was a text from Susie: Please let yourself in and make yourself at home. Sorry I wasn’t there. I will be home after dinner so eat without me. I returned her text telling her I was going out and started to get ready to meet Nick. Parthenon’s, or what was left of it, was between two small blast zones. The Capitol building and Camp Randal where the Badger football games were played. Some of the Capitol was still standing and I heard there were plans to rebuild soon. Probably to give some hope to the locals. Most of State Street was rubble and was intended for foot traffic, cabs, bikes and emergency vehicles when it was whole. Most of the buildings were businesses that had apartments on top of them that were destroyed or long since abandoned.
It was almost 1600 and I didn’t want to be late. I locked up Susie’s apartment and hopped in my truck. I made my way to Gorham St. and found a parking spot close to State St. I got out and walked towards the Parthenon. Along the way I noticed some businesses that looked like they were trying to squeak out a living. A couple of restaurants and the bakery that Susie was talking about. There were actually people walking around. Nothing like before the war. It was always busy with people bumping into you making their way to whatever trendy or new hipster cafe or middle eastern restaurant that was cool that week. Nothing cool or hip today, just trying to survive.
There it was, or at least that’s where most of it was. The front of the restaurant was damaged but most of it was standing. The glass windows and doors were now replaced with particle board and it looked closed from the outside. I saw a figure walking with a purpose coming down State St. towards me. When it got closer I could tell it was Nick. He smiled and put out his right hand shaking mine, “Good to see you Sean! Let’s go inside for a coffee. I know the owner. He should be in there.”
Nick rapped on the front door three times and Gus opened it up and motioned us in. There was no delicious lamb mix rotating on skewers anymore and the fryers were dry. Nick introduced me to Gus and we were instructed to sit down at one of the booths that was still in one piece. There was a coffee maker with a dim light glowing on the bottom with the unmistakable sent of fresh coffee brewing.
Gus was about 60 years old, 5’10”, and slim with short salt and pepper hair and mustache. His warn clothes hung off his slim frame. I could tell he was a bigger man when he wore those clothes years before. His cheeks were hollow and he had a bad cough. When he smiled he showed brown teeth that had been stained with coffee and cigarettes for many years. He walked with a limp as he put down two cups of coffee in front of Nick and I. Nick dug into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a carton of Camel straights and handed them to Gus.
Gus smiled and fought back a tear speaking in a slight Greek accent, “Nicholas, you know how to take care of me. God bless you friend. I will go in back and give you guys some privacy.”
Gus didn’t recognize me and I didn’t blame him. Many years ago I was just one of the many drunks that would stumble in at bar time and down a gyro and fries. They were the best in town and I even ate them during the day when I was sober.
Nick took a sip from his coffee and said, “Gus is a friendly, he has proved his allegiance to Alpha and has top secret clearance. The man can be trusted. This is a safe place and will be where you will be doing some of your recon from and carrying out your first assignment.”
I nodded and waited for Nick to give me the details of my assignment. “Tomorrow you are going to come back here at 0400 using darkness as your cover to slip into here. I will give you the equipment you will need to accomplish your mission before we say are goodbyes. You will utilize your ear piece and have all your communication devices with you. As soon as you get in your truck make sure your earpiece is on and functioning. You will receive additional instructions as the mission progresses. Any questions?”
I took a sip out of this delicious coffee and savored the taste and aroma
. I put my cup down and asked, “This will be recon and elimination?”
Nick stiffened up a bit and sat up straight, “Yes it will be recon and you may have to take out a high value target or targets. Our intel is gathering as we speak. The mission parameters have not been set as of yet. As far as we know a major terrorist organization is planning on meeting on State St. tomorrow night. It will look like a bunch of students, but some of the major players will be there. Things are heating up and there’s talk of suicide bombers with small nukes. These dumb ass kids think it is going to be some kind of meeting about current affairs and how shitty the government is. There is intel that some of these kids have been brainwashed by the leaders of this group. It happened when they were stuck in the camps underground. They were starving and had nowhere to go. There was strength in numbers and they were prisoners left to do the leaders dirty work.”
I took another sip of coffee and nodded my head, “I understand.” My targets may be using the friendlies as shields. Not the first time I have dealt with this type of situation. I will be dealing with true cowards. I’ve had more than one mission where women and children were used as human shields. My gut tensed up thinking about it. This is going to bring back some bad memories.” Memories I have pushed deep back into my subconscious where they belonged. I didn’t want to deal with them anymore. I didn’t know if I still had what it took to do this kind of work, but I couldn’t tell Nick that.
Mad City: Book One of the Sean Walsh Post Apocalyptic Series Page 12