by Ava Walsh
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” Tamsin mumbled. Crosby pulled her up into his arms. His touch was warm and protective. She rested her hands on his shoulders, needing to be oriented before she could stand properly.
“What if he comes back? What if he…” She was crying now, and he gently pushed her head to his shoulder and stroked her hair.
“He won’t. And if he does, if he so much as texts you, you call me, okay?” His voice was still gentle. He was still stroking her hair and tightened his arms around her. She could feel her body shaking, but with the force of his arms, she was beginning to relax. This was the father of her child, although he didn’t know it.
“C’mon, let’s get into the car. You need to sit down,” Crosby said, and he pulled the car door open with one hand.
She sniffled, shivered and climbed into the car. Crosby shut the door, walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.
“Tamsin. He’s gone. I’m here, you need to relax.” Crosby closed the door. They were sitting in the darkness of the car together. She was still breathing hard, even though the shock of the experience was slowly wearing off.
“I can’t believe that just happened. And it’s all my fault,” she said, more to herself than to him. Her hand was on her belly, it had gone there subconsciously. She wished she could feel it, feel that the baby was okay.
“How is it your fault? He’s not right in the head, clearly.”
“It’s my fault because I got drunk and slept with him and gave him my number. That was so stupid. Stupid.” Tamsin hit the dashboard with her hands and felt tears roll down her cheeks again. Crosby was quiet, letting her vent. “Who knows what he would have done if you weren’t here. If you hadn’t shown up, what might have happened to my….” Tamsin finally turned to him and looked into his eyes, allowing her voice to trail off. She had stopped herself just in time.
Crosby looked worried. His face was crestfallen, and he was clearly concerned for her. Again, she was seeing a side of him that she had never known existed. Perhaps nobody else knew it existed.
“Happened to your…what?” he asked, and she saw his eyes fall on her hand, which was still placed on her belly.
“Why did you show up?” she asked, looking at him.
“I found out where you worked, and I was waiting for you to leave. Probably just like that asshole,” he said, and she noticed how his eyes flickered. He looked like he was embarrassed, or at least shy to admit he had been waiting for her.
“Why? After all these days,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “Why were you waiting for me?”
“I wanted to see you again and apologize. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” he said quietly. Tamsin looked away from him. She didn’t need another reminder of her bad decisions.
“You don’t need to apologize. You were doing what you wanted. I was doing something stupid. As always,” she said, biting down on her quivering lip.
“You weren’t stupid with me, Tamsin. There was a real connection there. I felt it,” he said. She turned to look at him. What was he talking about? Was this one of his games? What would he say if she told him the consequences of their actions?
“I can see you don’t believe me. And why should you? But what started off as a ruse to get you into bed turned into something different. At least for me. Those things I told you about my childhood, about my father who I never talk about... I felt like I was talking to a friend. I’ve never told those things to anyone. We had just met, but I could trust you.” Crosby looked her in the eye as he spoke, and Tamsin wanted to look away. It wasn’t the same expression that had been in his eyes that evening at his house. He wasn’t in a daze, he didn’t have an excited glint in his expression. He was being serious.
“Is there something else that you want?” she asked him, trying to keep her thoughts civil. She shouldn’t be letting her feelings run amok again. They had already got her into more trouble than she could handle.
“Nothing other than a proper date. One date, at a public place with our clothes on,” Crosby said. Despite herself, Tamsin laughed. He was smiling too. The air was easier now and she could breathe better.
“So you’re asking me out?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re more than just a conquest. I want to get to know you.”
“What about all your other supermodel girlfriends?” Tamsin asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
“Clearly I need to change my game plan. I haven’t found a soulmate among them. Yet with you, I could sit here and talk for hours.” Crosby reached for her lips, and traced her skin with his fingers. Tamsin closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel his lips on her skin, the clenching of his muscles underneath her fingertips. She wanted to run her hands through his hair. Tamsin’s neck craned as Crosby traced her throat with his finger.
“Stop!” she shrieked in an attempt to snap herself out of it. Crosby pulled his finger away as if burnt.
“What?”
“I need to tell you something. I need to be honest with you,” she said, inching away from him. This was going to be very difficult, to keep her wits about her when she was so close to him.
“What is it?” he asked, and sat back in the seat.
“That evening. When we…when I was at your house. I…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, and she looked away from him. Crosby was silent. What was he thinking? When Tamsin looked back at him, she caught him staring at her hand on her belly.
“Tamsin, are you pregnant?”
They looked at each other silently, and then she nodded.
“Mine?”
“There has been nobody else since and at least for months before you. Ever since that night with Adam, six months ago, I had been keeping myself away from men,” she said. Her voice was quivering, and she watched as he moved towards her. Instead of anger, doubt or mistrust, which she expected to find, Crosby placed a gentle hand on her knee and looked into her eyes.
“Well, I’m glad I was here then. I wouldn’t have wanted anything to happen to my kid,” he said. She could see a smile beginning to spread across his face.
“You’re not upset about this?” she asked him, and Crosby laughed.
“Upset? No. Surprised? Yes. It wasn’t in my plans, but you weren’t either.”
“We don’t know each other at all. I’m sure you don’t even remember my last name,” Tamsin said, her shoulders and muscles relaxing now. His attitude and the smile on his face had put her at ease.
“It’s Clarkson. And so what if we don’t know each other? Doesn’t mean we can’t have a baby together. We’re already going on a date. I already admitted that I can’t get you out of my head. Maybe it’s meant to be.” Crosby inched closer to her and Tamsin sighed.
“You didn’t look like a guy who believes in destiny,” she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. Crosby Jones was playing his magic on her, again.
“It’s not destiny, it’s just you,” he said, and touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers. Tamsin closed her eyes and smiled.
“So it’s decided then, a date with clothes on and…” But before she could finish, he interrupted her.
“And the following ones don’t need a dress code,” he said, and within seconds, he was kissing her and making her forget where she was.
*****
THE END
Bonus Book 32: The Hockey Player's Secret Baby
By: Ava Walsh
Description
He can never know! My secret will destroy him...
Chelsey and Hannah practically grew up together. They were best friends, sure, but there was one secret Chelsey kept to herself: her feelings for Hannah’s older brother, Aron Keels...
Chelsey believed that she could keep her feelings for Aron in check, save her friendship and move on with her life. That, is until college ended, and Aron was all set to leave town. He had been scouted and picked up by an NHL t
eam in Los Angeles.
On his last night in town, at the end of a drunken party, Chelsey and Aron fell into bed together. And then he left...
Three years later, Chelsey is still in the same town, working at the same hair salon where she worked while at college. She has cut off all ties with her family and her friends, including Hannah. She lives a life of seclusion in a cramped apartment, trying to make ends meet.
When Hannah walks into the salon, she is surprised to find Chelsey still works there… Then she delivers Chelsey some news—her celebrity brother is going to be in town as well, attending their parents’ thirtieth anniversary party.
How will Chelsey continue to keep her life a secret, now that everything she is protecting seems to be unravelling?
Chapter One
Chelsey was tired of smiling, especially since she also had to concentrate. People entrusted their hair into her hands, literally, and it was her job to give them a fabulous new look which they might tip her extra for. She was holding the large oval mirror behind her current customer’s head and also trying to keep the usual fake smile plastered on her face.
“That is gorgeous! Exactly the way I wanted,” the woman with the unmanageable cowlick on her forehead turned in her seat to say. Chelsey continued smiling, nodding as she plugged in the blow dryer. The woman sat back again and, from the corner of her eye, Chelsey noticed her digging around in her purse. Great success! She was going to get the tip.
“I have to leave in like fifteen minutes, Monica,” Chelsey said, tapping the floor manager’s shoulder after her customer had left.
“But your shift doesn’t end for another half an hour, Chelsey.” Monica whipped around, passing a quick look to the clock on the wall.
“I know, but the sitter texted me to say that she can’t stay for much longer. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make up for it soon,” Chelsey said, pouting her lips in the hopes that she might be able to charm Monica just as successfully as she did her clients.
“I’ve already signed on one more customer for you. So you’ll have to do that one. Apparently it’s just a trim,” Monica said, shaking her head indulgently.
“It’s never just a trim. Thanks anyway, Monica,” Chelsey said, walking away from her with an accomplished smile on her face.
She stood waiting behind the high chair, staring at herself in the mirror. Her natural poker-straight hair was cut to a manageable length right at her shoulders, her face looked pale and overworked, she hadn’t had time to touch up her pink-tinted lipstick since the morning and her clothes were covered in hair and chemical products.
Her next customer brushed past her and sat down with a thump on the chair in front of her, snapping her out of her self-pitying thoughts.
“How are we today?” she automatically chirped. It was a strange, robotic voice that turned on without any initiation in front of customers. She turned to pick up the robe to tie around the customer’s neck and, when she looked up into the mirror, her hands froze and she nearly dropped the pair of scissors and comb from her hands.
The girl was staring at her in the mirror as well, a slow grin forming on her face.
“Chelsey?” she shrieked, and whipped around in her chair to look up at her directly.
“Hannah.” Chelsey couldn’t smile any longer. Her pretend face had long disappeared.
“How crazy is this?” Hannah jumped out of the chair and flung her arms around Chelsey’s neck, nearly strangling her.
“It is crazy. What are you doing here? Are you back in town?” Chelsey managed to ask, even though she could feel her heart racing in her throat and her palms growing sweaty. She hadn’t seen Hannah in three years. She didn’t want to see Hannah. She wished she could forget that they had ever been best friends.
“Well, not back back. Just for a week, actually,” Hannah said, finally pulling away from her, giving her some space to breathe.
“How come?” Chelsey asked, realizing that she still had the scissors in her hands, dangerously pointing towards herself in fact. She placed them on the counter in front of the mirror.
“It’s my parents’ thirtieth anniversary. They’re throwing a big party. Aron is flying in as well. Fingers crossed.” Hannah giggled and Chelsey tried to smile. “I had no idea you were still in town,” she added.
“I had to come back,” Chelsey said, probably too quickly, and then stole a look at the clock.
“Why? I thought you were liking New York,” Hannah probed.
“My mother…she got ill and I had to come back and take care of her,” Chelsey said, and ran her hands through her hair. She could feel herself blushing, and her nerves were giving way to full-blown panic. Hannah clucked her tongue in sympathy.
“Is that why you stopped replying to my emails and texts? I’m so sorry, Chelsey. I had no idea.” Hannah looked genuinely upset and sympathetic, and Chelsey immediately felt guilty for lying.
“She’s alright now, though. So, all is well.” Chelsey tried to shrug it off with a nervous laugh.
“So you’re working here now?” Hannah asked, and Chelsey took in a deep breath and smiled her widest fake smile.
“Only temporarily,” she said, and started to take a few paces back.
“Well, that’s exciting, then. It’s been years since you gave me a haircut. Remember when you used to practice on my hair, and sometimes even on Aron’s?” Hannah giggled again, but Chelsey was slowly backing away from her now.
“I do remember. But…it’s just that I have to go now. Something’s come up,” Chelsey said, interrupting Hannah’s laugh. She had backed far away enough from Hannah to be able to reach the coat rack on the wall, where she turned to pick up her jacket and bag.
“Are you serious? You can’t be serious. I just got here, Chelsey. What’s wrong?” She could hear Hannah’s voice behind her as she ran towards the door, pushed it open and hurried out without turning to inform Monica that she was leaving. She wanted to get as far away from Hannah as possible, as far away from the mention of Aron’s name as possible. The guy who had ruined the possibility of continuing a friendship with Hannah. The guy who she thought she was in love with. The guy she could never get over.
Chelsey arrived at her car, jerked the door open and sat down with a thump. She breathed out deeply and tried to steady her heartbeat. She had a daughter to go back home to.
Chapter Two
Chelsey picked Ruby up in her arms and carried her to the kitchen. She couldn’t believe her luck; Ruby was sleeping. This meant that she would have some time to herself, to think things over. She started boiling the vegetables and the chunks of chicken breast, placing Ruby on her high chair. So, Hannah was back in town, and Aron might follow. Chelsey knew what that meant: there was no avoiding facing them. If she knew Hannah at all, she was not the kind of girl to just take no for an answer.
Chelsey had continued to text back and email Hannah for a few months after they had finished college nearly three years ago and Hannah left for Chicago, just to avoid an onslaught of questions. What she couldn’t bring herself to do, though, was answer any of her calls. As for Aron, if she knew him at all, he was the kind of guy who probably wouldn’t even remember her. They had all grown up together. Chelsey had practically lived at their home all through her teenage years. Hannah and she were inseparable. Aron was in the room next door. Aron was her best friend’s brother, and also the guy of her dreams.
The water boiled over as Chelsey stood leaning against the cabinets. She realized a minute too late, and the stew had already boiled over the pot and spilled all over the floor. The commotion woke Ruby up and she was squealing in no time. Chelsey stubbed her toe in the rush to turn the gas down and also go to Ruby to placate her. She cursed, then apologized and soon enough felt hot tears pricking the back of her eyelids.
“C’mon, sweetheart. Go back to sleep. Mommy’s going to make us some nice warm dinner,” she cooed to her two-year-old daughter. Ruby’s screams started to die down as she placed her head on her mother’s chest
, right next to her beating heart, but she was blubbering still. Chelsey couldn’t help but smile at the small bubbles Ruby was blowing out from her saliva-laden mouth.
“You’re a cutie, aren’t you?” she cooed again, and gently rubbed her nose with her daughter’s. She looked into Ruby’s glassy blue eyes. They reminded her of her own mother’s. Her mother who didn’t speak to her anymore. The mother she hadn’t seen in over a year. Chelsey’s mother was disappointed and angry; she was upset with her daughter for getting pregnant at such a young age. Mostly, she was angry with Chelsey because she refused to reveal to anybody who Ruby’s father was.
With Ruby in her arms, Chelsey rocked over to the living room and placed the baby into the playpen. She reached for the remote and switched the television on, knowing the sights and the colors always calmed Ruby down. She wasn’t prepared, however, to see Aron’s smiling, victorious face on the TV screen. Her hand flew to her mouth in surprise rather than disbelief. She almost felt like she was being watched, like somebody was listening in on her subconscious.
It was a news segment on yet another victory for the Los Angeles Rams. The presenters had nothing but praise for Aron Keels, the star Quarterback who had led the team to another win. Aron Keels is unstoppable, the voiceover said, as Aron’s dark curls were pasted over his sweaty forehead on-screen. Aron Keels is a hero to millions, the man continued, and Aron was laughing while running with his team towards the exit, with thousands of cheering fans in the background. Chelsey had to close her eyes tightly to get the image out of her sight, but his piercing green eyes were forever embedded in her brain. She couldn’t simply forget his face.
Her heart was racing again. Ruby was thankfully distracted, playing with her building blocks, and Chelsey rushed to the stack of newspapers on the side of the couch. She sifted through them till she found the one she was looking for. She’d found it on page 3 of the paper a few weeks ago but quickly ignored it then, choosing to strengthen herself by living in denial. Today was not the day she could live in denial anymore.