by Ava Walsh
We returned to the bed, and he took me a couple of more times before we dozed in each other’s arms until we had to leave. We kissed as we dressed and I felt something in me breaking as I realized that I had no idea when we would do this again. I wanted him every night, and I wanted to fall asleep in his arms, and I left with my shoulders slumped as I returned to the apartment. Bonnie was already sleep, and I poured myself some wine and sat down on the couch as I felt the ache between my thighs. We’d spent a matter of hours together, and I knew that my feelings were deepening.
I focused on school and my part time job as well as hanging out with Bonnie. Her hockey player had called, and she was spending time with him now, so I ended up being alone a lot. That led to our next tryst being in my bed, when I informed Nick that Bonnie was away for the weekend. Cory wanted to show her around Colorado, and she instantly agreed.
Nick stripped me down quickly in my room and pulled me into his lap on the bed as he kissed me. He was hard, and I rolled the condom onto him before I speared myself over his cock and started to ride him on my bed. It was intense, and I was shaking soon as I came on him and he pushed me onto my back and finished himself off with my feet on his shoulders. We stayed there and did it again before he rolled beside me and slipped his arm over my stomach. “If you don’t think Bran would come by for any reason, I can stay here tonight. We have tomorrow morning off, and he’ll think I’m with a girl already.”
“He doesn’t usually surprise me, and I know that Bonnie will be gone,” I murmured. I sensed him frowning beside me. I looked, and sure enough, he was. “She’s a big girl, Nick.”
“I don’t know if I like that guy. I’ve heard things.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and he stared at me. “What?”
“Have you looked yourself up online recently? I don’t even want to ask if any of that is true. I might second guess this decision,” I murmured, as something painful crossed his face.
“Very little of it is, I have no kids that I have been told about, and I’m careful not to do that. I’m not ready.” Nick dropped onto a pillow and stroked my skin. “You know that I hooked up with some bad women, and I won’t hide that. I’m not proud of myself for that, but I moved past it. I did some stupid things when I started with the NFL.” He stared into my eyes. “What else do you want to know?”
“Did you get arrested for a DUI?” He rolled his eyes.
“I partied a lot. I won’t deny that, but I had money and took cabs or got rides from people. I only drove that way a few times, and I stopped when I realized how dangerous it was.” He seemed to be open about what I was asking.
“Why the coach’s daughter after the big game, Nick? You knew that would piss people off, right?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“I was drunk and feeling sad, like I was the night of the party. I didn’t consider who she was when I left with her, and I was as surprised as anyone else when I found out. I think that got me thinking a lot, because it really shook the team up.” Nick had been photographed with the pretty daughter of the rival coach the evening of a game and nearly lost his position on the team. It was a big deal, and my whole family was on him about that decision. “I started to change around then and kept my antics off the radar.”
“Lara was not well-known, I gather?” I questioned, and he rested his head against the pillow.
“You weren’t supposed to be there when she left that way. I was so upset when I saw you sitting there, and I debated between staying in the cottage until you left. That or taking you right in that chair with the way that you looked that night.” He grinned at me. “That was a great night,”
“This isn’t?” We moved closer together, and I kissed him. He took me again on my back as he stared into my eyes and made me come again.
“I would like you to go on some birth control, Mel. I want to feel you, and like I said, I’m clean. I’ll show you a test if you want me to,” Nick told me, as I watched him roll onto his back.
“You really are just with me?” I was nearly sure that he was, but there was a part of me that kept going back to his old ways in my head. I didn’t think he could be with one woman, particularly since we didn’t see each other all of the time.
“Yes, I am just with you. I am happy with this.” He took my hand and lifted it into the air as he stared at it. “Are you?”
“Yes.” I watched him for a moment as he stared at our joined hands for a long moment. “I wish that we saw each other more is all.”
“I’m sorry. I am just so busy right now. After the season ends, we’ll have a lot more time to spend together.” I looked at him. Did he mean that we would become more or still hide this?
I hated that I was falling harder for him. I hated that I couldn’t just keep this casual and at a level of sex only. Part of me hated that I’d given in to this idea at all.
We watched a movie in bed before he fell asleep on my pillow with his arm around me. Had Nick ever fallen asleep with a women like this? Did he stay with them or leave in the past? I knew the media reports, but according to him, that was just talk.
I woke up in the morning to a text from Brandon. He said that Nick hadn’t come home last night and wondered if I’d join him for breakfast. I sat up and tried to decide what to do. Should I wake Nick up and act like I’d heard from him in enough time to invite him?
I heard his phone and nibbled on my lip before I reached over for it. I just needed to know if it was my brother and that was it. Nick didn’t lock his screen, so I felt better about that as I checked to see his text and realized that one was from Brandon, but there were several others from other numbers. I only clicked on Brandon’s, and it was asking where Nick was.
I went into the bathroom to use it and think about my answer, then returned to my phone. I asked where Brandon wanted me to meet him, since we lived far enough from the city to justify that response. Once he responded with the name of a quaint little coffee shop, I told him that I was going to take a quick shower and that I’d be there in half an hour.
I stood under the water and washed my hair and the scent of Nick off of my skin. I realized how secret this was when I was covering every trace of us, and I frowned as I shut the water off. When I left the bathroom dressed in some shorts and a long green t-shirt, Nick was looking over at me. “Headed somewhere?”
“Bran sent me a text about breakfast. He couldn’t find you.” Nick grabbed his phone and checked his messages and glanced at the clock.
“Shit. Want me to text him and tell him that I’ll meet up with you guys?”
“I mean…if you want to. I’ll be back soon if you want to relax.” Nick stood and looked around the floor for his jeans before he pulled them on over his bare skin.
“No. Go ahead, I guess. Melissa?” I glanced at him before he stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. “I loved spending the night with you.”
“I loved you being here.” Our eyes locked and I felt something strong pass between us as he took a slow breath.
“I’ll text him; I’ll be there soon.” I nodded and left the house to go to my car. It felt odd leaving without him since we were already so close, just not enough to justify arriving together.
Chapter Six
Brandon and I were seated and sipping coffee when the door opened, and Nick looked around. “He’s been staying home so much, alone. I guess he found someone new,” Brandon noted, and I nodded and stirred the hot liquid. “At least he’s calmed down some with all of the focus on the team.”
“That’s a good thing. You guys need to do everything you can to win that game.” Nick grinned and sat down in the booth beside me, and my hand froze.
“Hey, buddy. Have a good night?” Brandon teased him, as Nick stared at the table before he pressed his leg against mine.
“Excellent. It was nice to be able to sleep in after the couple of weeks that we’ve had. Right?” Brandon nodded and gave him a curious look.
“New girl?” Brandon asked, and Nick shrugged.
“I me
t someone. She’s a great girl, but you know with the game and all, it’s been casual,” I felt an ache at his words even though I knew it was what he needed to say. Was there even anything more to add?
Nick ordered a coffee and we all ordered our breakfast as we settled back into the seats. It was comfortable here and had a good vibe and on any other typical day, I’d be very comfortable with these two men. Having a crush on Nick was nothing like actually sleeping with him or having secret sex with him. This was much harder. We ate and the guys talked, but I just listened as I took small bites of my omelet that didn’t taste all that good.
Brandon led the way out of the cafe, and I followed with Nick behind me. “See you at home?” he asked Nick, and I turned to look at him. “We have practice tonight.”
“I’m just going to run a quick errand. I’ll be there soon,” Nick told him, and Brandon hugged me tight and told me to stay safe. He always said that, and I flushed a little as I watched him walk to his car.
“Errand?” I asked, as we were finally alone again.
“Let’s go back to bed.” There was something hot about the situation as we drove back to the apartment and stripped on the way back to the bedroom. Nick took me on my knees first, and his hand smacked my ass as he drove himself deep into me. I cried out his name before I asked for more and came with a keening sound as I fought the scream that wanted to get out of my throat. He pulled out and pushed me onto my back before he entered me again and took me hard and fast before he released inside of me. I closed my eyes as my body throbbed everywhere and he dropped on top of me.
“Mel…the condom broke. I think I went too hard,” Nick said as he stood and looked down. I reached for a tissue and handed it to him as I estimated the actual possibility of anything happening from just one time. “Shit. I need you to go to the doctor and get on something. We can’t risk this. I’ll pay.” His eyes pleaded with me. “Please, Melissa. Please do this.”
“Yes, I will. Next week.” There was an office near the college, and a lot of the girls went there. I didn’t want to worry about this either, and I was only twenty-two, not even in a real relationship. I watched as Nick walked to the bathroom and came back with a warm cloth to clean me. He stared into my eyes.
“I’m inside of you, still. I am going to stay there. I wish it were like that sometimes.” His words were soft, and he folded up the washcloth and tossed it into my hamper. We lay in bed for an hour or so before he said that he had to get back home before practice. They drove together, and he didn’t want to make Brandon suspicious. He seemed down when he left and just kissed me softly goodbye before he walked out of the door.
I watched a movie on the couch and felt more alone than before. Having Nick in my house, my bed, left a stain around the house. It gave me a memory to think about. I slept out there in between movies and shows and made some popcorn for dinner as I thought about Nick at the practice. I thought about the messages that I hadn’t read.
I hated myself for feeling so insecure.
As I promised, I went to the clinic and started taking birth control pills. I hid them deep in the drawer of my bathroom, and we were safe for the first couple of weeks that we were supposed to be. Sadly, that amounted to only a few times together in our hotel room. Nick was thrilled when he could go bare, and he fucked me harder than before, making me want him that much more.
Bonnie was seeing her hockey player more, and they were starting to seem serious. I knew that it bothered Nick, but he kept that to himself as he just listened to her gush about her boyfriend. I wondered if she’d be moving to Colorado and my heart broke a little. I had never been without Bonnie in my life, and I didn’t know how to handle the idea. I even started worrying about Nick being traded and leaving me as well, right along with my brother. It was depressing, and I barely managed to get through Christmas.
We played it off as always. I’d been sleeping with Nick for two months by then, and we sat across the room from each other. I wanted nothing more than to sit beside him and hold his hand as we laughed together. I wanted to kiss him and sit in his lap by the brightly lit tree.
Nick gave me a book along with the other presents I was handed at the house in front of everyone. It was a lovely moment, and I hugged him along with everybody else before we went in to start breakfast.
The tradition was always a big breakfast as a family, and that usually included anyone that didn’t have somewhere to go. It was loud and fun and crowded. I loved it. This year, I seemed to miss what I couldn’t have more than I enjoyed it. Nick could see that I was a little bothered about things, and he pulled me down the hall and looked into my eyes when we could get a moment alone. “Babe, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. This is just when we should be able to be affectionate. It’s Christmas,” I told him, and his eyes softened.
“Soon. This is just a day off for us, and we’ll be right back at it tomorrow, Mel.” We heard voices, and he headed back to the bathroom while I walked toward the kitchen without saying another word.
I knew that he didn’t want Brandon to kill him, and that I didn’t want Bonnie to murder him. Not on Christmas, at least.
We managed to get through the meal, and I took a nap in my old room as I always did. This year, it was more out of stress than just being tired from the festivities. I knew that a few more people would be coming by for dinner, and I wanted to be refreshed for that and the annual Christmas lights that we all went to see.
I woke up to someone snuggling against me, and I moved with a moan. “What are you doing in here?”
“Everyone is occupied, and I wanted to spend some time with you,” Nick told me, as he kissed my neck. “Have you ever messed around in here before?”
“No! I would be so embarrassed and with you…I don’t want to see you die,” I teased him as his hand slid up my stomach and cupped my breast. “Nick!”
“I have something else to give you later when we’re alone. I had a great time shopping for you,” Nick told me, and I smiled. I had gotten him a good pair of headphones to work out with. I didn’t have lots of money to spend on the gifts that I got for other people, and they were a good deal. I wanted to do more, but it was something at least. I was too scared to tell him how I felt about him.
He stripped me quietly, and we had sex slow and deep. It was risky, but my parents were visiting friends, and Brandon was sleeping as well. Bonnie was at home talking to her boyfriend, and we had a few minutes to spare. I hated that we had to finish and dress again so quickly. Nick left the room with a quick kiss, and I tried to go back to sleep.
Bonnie came back for dinner and looked at me. “You look different.”
“Different how?” I asked, as we helped in the kitchen with the dinner preparation.
“I don’t know,” she mused before she looked around. “Are you with anyone?”
I flushed and forced a laugh out of my throat. “No, I’d tell you if I was. Do I suddenly look like I’m dating someone in the last few hours?” I laughed and chopped some vegetables for the salad.
Nick was in the living room watching something with Brandon, and I glanced towards the open archway that led to the room. “I heard that Nick has calmed down too,” Bonnie said. “Brandon said that he’s admitted to seeing someone, but she hasn’t been around the house. I wonder who she is.”
I shrugged and smiled. “We may never know.” Bonnie nodded and frowned. “What is it?”
“I just think I’d like to see him settle down with somebody. Nick is a good guy deep down. I think that he’d treat someone pretty well,” Bonnie seemed to be thinking out loud, and I looked at her. Would she support us if we decided to come out with a relationship? “Maybe once this Super Bowl stress is over with, he’ll introduce us.”
“I guess we’ll see,” I replied, as I watched my mama and my aunt start fussing over the turkey and the ham.
Chapter Seven
I spent New Year’s Eve at my apartment alone. Bonnie was in Colorado with Cory, and the guys w
ere celebrating with their team at a local bar. I’d been invited but I didn’t feel too great, and I wanted to rest. I wasn’t in the mood to pretend that I and Nick were just friends and that I didn’t want to kiss him at midnight. I also didn’t want to see him kiss anybody else. I watched a movie in bed and dozed and felt my stomach twist as I sipped my ginger ale. This had been going on for about a week or so, and I assumed that it was the flu that had been going around the school before break.
Nick had been over as much as possible. He gave me a gift card for Victoria’s Secret, one for a little bookstore in town and a pretty silver bracelet with a dandelion on it for Christmas when we were alone. The amounts on the cards were enormous, and he made me promise to buy a lot of sexy things for him from the first store.
He was still busy practicing and spending time with the team. It was no different than before, but we’d been doing this for months now. I didn’t know what I wanted once the game was over, whether they won or lost.
I heard some party horns outside, and I glanced towards the closed blinds. I knew that next year I would be graduating from school and hopefully getting a job, perhaps in a gallery where I could work on something of my own to display. I had high hopes for that part of my future, but being in love with Nick wasn’t working too well for me. I rolled over and watched the couple dance on television, and I thought back to the way that I had danced with Nick in this room one night after we’d had sex. It was silly yet romantic, and I realized how many memories that I had in this room now.
Should I end this thing with him? I could focus on finding someone that would be with me completely and maybe love me back. There were so many guys in Seattle, and I was sitting here pining away for one who I didn’t show intimacy toward outside of closed rooms.