“I think I felt you. Sometime, when I was with my—” she cut herself off, remembering. “When I was with Jackson, I sensed someone else with me. I thought I was crazy or it was just wishful thinking, but perhaps you were with me all along.”
A new light had appeared in Serenity’s face and Elizabeth glowed back at her. Finally, something had happened that allowed Serenity to tie her time with Jackson together with her life now. Something—however strange—she could make sense of.
“You were never alone, Serenity,” said Sebastian. “Elizabeth stayed linked to you the whole time.”
Tears filled her eyes once again, spilling down her cheeks. “To think all that time I only knew Jackson, yet I had you both searching for me. I never thought anyone would care for me.”
“We never stopped caring and we never would have stopped looking.”
“That’s right, Mommy. We missed you.”
She hung her head, her hair falling either side of her body. “Something always seemed to be missing, I just didn’t know what.”
Elizabeth reached her side and took her hand. “Of course you missed us, Mommy,” she said, with the certainty of a child. “We’re your family.”
Chapter Eight
The days and nights passed at a frustratingly slow pace. Each evening Sebastian woke, hoping today would be the day a change would occur in Serenity’s condition. But each day she stayed the same. She remained inside the big house, wandering from room to room, picking up photographs of Elizabeth and trying to jog her memory.
Other than the memory of Sebastian on that first night, no other recollections had come to her. She was getting to know Elizabeth and Sebastian again through the time she was spending with them, but so far, remembering the person she’d been before remained a mystery which left her frustrated.
Physically, she started to heal. Though she still struggled to eat, Sebastian forced her to drink calorie-rich protein shakes and she began to manage small pieces of toast and crackers. Her figure remained slender and waif-like, but she lost the half-starved appearance she had when they first brought her home. Her bruises faded and bite marks began to heal, though the scars would remain.
Sebastian decided the time had come to call James Bently. He’d been putting off the call, hoping he would be able to phone with better news. Since Serenity’s disappearance, Sebastian knew James held him to blame. To be able to call James and tell him Serenity was home and well would have made the conversation a little easier.
Sebastian lifted the receiver and dialed James’s home number. He answered on the third ring.
“James, it’s Sebastian.”
The other man didn’t pause. “Hey. How’s Elizabeth?”
“She’s fine, great actually. Look, James, we’ve found Serenity.”
A sharp intake of breath came down the line. “Where? How?”
“In Washington. Elizabeth had a vision about her—a clear one—and we left right away. We found her with Jackson in almost exactly the same place Elizabeth saw her.”
“Jesus. How is she? Is she all right?”
“Physically, she’s getting better. She was painfully thin when we found her, but she’s putting on a bit of weight now.” Sebastian paused. “The thing is, James, she can’t remember anything. She doesn’t know who she was before Jackson took her.”
“So she doesn’t remember us?”
“No, she doesn’t remember anything. It might just be trauma, but Jackson fed from her this whole time. I think the constant feeding has changed who she is on a cellular level. If a vampire feeds numerous times from the same victim, they sometimes turn. I think Serenity may have been on her way to becoming like Jackson.”
“My God,” he said. “Can I talk to her?”
“There’s no point, James. It will only confuse her and she doesn’t have any idea who you are.”
“I’d come out,” he said. “But with Amy due any day…”
Amy was heavily pregnant with their second child.
“It’s all right, James. We can manage. I just wanted you to know. I thought you had a right.”
“Thanks, Sebastian. Keep me informed, okay?”
“Will do,” he said and then hung up the phone.
The call had felt awkward. The two males had never completely seen eye-to-eye. Sebastian had always been slightly jealous of James’s close relationship with Serenity, despite his marriage to Amy. He’d always wondered about James’s motives for keeping her so close.
On the other side, James blamed Sebastian for Serenity’s disappearance—not that he thought Sebastian caused it, more that he should have prevented what happened. He didn’t thank Sebastian for either entering or returning to Serenity’s life.
After Serenity first went missing, James had been wary about allowing Elizabeth to go to live with a vampire. But once he’d seen Sebastian’s name on the birth certificate, he realized he had little control over the matter. Sebastian was Elizabeth’s father and that would always take priority. In the end, Sebastian promised James that he and Amy would still be fully involved in Elizabeth’s life. But Amy struggled to continue to live in the city after the attack on her son, Noah, so when James was offered a transfer to Savannah, they’d taken it.
James and Amy always kept in touch, sending birthday and Christmas presents for Elizabeth. Sebastian knew what a hard decision moving away had been, especially with Serenity still missing, but they’d needed to put their own family’s well-being first.
It was early evening and Elizabeth had already been sent to bed. Serenity also slept. Her sleeping patterns worried Sebastian. While he’d not expected her to fall straight into a normal human’s routine, he’d hoped she would have been more willing to try to adjust to Elizabeth’s—and most of the rest of humanity’s—habit of sleeping at night and being awake during the day. Instead, she slept only for a few hours at night and the same again in the day. She spent most of her waking hours lying in bed, staring at the wall or wandering aimlessly around the house. She tried to make conversation with him, Elizabeth, and Bridget when she was around, but it felt forced and difficult.
Hoping to get her up for a few hours, thinking the interaction would do her good, maybe even stir a few memories, he went through the unfamiliar process of making her coffee. Part of him yearned to just be near her, to keep her by his side and pretend everything was all right again. Naturally, they’d had no real physical contact since she’d been back and deep down he wanted to take her in his arms and bury himself deep inside her. Forget the past two years and the misery they were.
Sebastian made his way upstairs and knocked gently on the door, the cup of steaming coffee held in one hand. No answer came in response to his knock, but he knew she was there. Gentle sobs—those of someone crying but trying not to be heard—echoed from behind the door. Concerned, Sebastian pushed open the door and walked in to discover her bed empty.
“Serenity?”
The crying was coming from the corner of the room. Serenity sat on the floor, her arms wrapped around her legs, sobbing into her knees.
“Serenity, what’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
She lifted her head and her dark eyes fixed on his face, wide and wild. She put out both hands and tried to scrabble backward. With the wall directly behind her, she couldn’t get any farther away.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she cried.
He stepped toward her, a frown marring his normally smooth forehead, and she shrank against the wall.
“Why would you think I’d hurt you? I’d never hurt you.”
Had she remembered something else? Something that made her think I’d cause her pain?
“Who the hell are you?” she said, shaking her head, frantic. “Where am I? What did you do to me?”
Alarm fired through him. He set the coffee down on the dresser and raced over and crouched to her level. He put out a hand and lightly touched her knee, but she reared back, her eyes cavernous with alarm.
“How did you do that
?” she whispered. “How did you move like that?”
He’d not realized he’d moved with his vampire’s speed. “Because of what I am, Serenity. Do you not remember what I am?”
“I don’t remember what I am.”
She’d forgotten again! She’d forgotten who they were.
“You’re human, Serenity. Human and a mother.”
“Then why don’t I feel human? Why do I feel like something else?” She raised her hand to her face and opened and closed her fist. “Like I could break things.”
He closed his large hand over the top of hers and she looked up, her dark eyes penetrating his.
Slowly, she shook her head. “I don’t know who you are.”
“My name is Sebastian. We’ve known each other for a long time. We have a child together. Her name is Elizabeth. You’ve been through a trauma and that’s why you can’t remember, but we’re working on getting you better again.”
“How long have I been here?”
“Almost a week now. You were starting to get better, but now you’ve forgotten everything again.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I remember something. I remember living in the dirt with someone else—a man, only he wasn’t a man. He killed people—young girls—and he’d bring them back to the hole and feed on their blood!”
“He’s dead,” Sebastian said. “I killed him.”
Relief melted onto her features. “He’s dead?”
“I promise. I ripped his heart out myself.”
She started to cry again. “Why can’t I remember you?”
“I don’t know, Serenity. I wish I did.”
Frustration gripped him, but he forced his own emotions down. Hoping to offer her some comfort, he reached out and rubbed her back. Her body heaved with sobs beneath his palm.
To think he needed to start again. She’d finally started to connect to him again, finally started to accept him. Now they were back at the beginning. Would this keep happening? Would they teach her who she was only for her to forget again and cast them all back to the beginning? How long could they live like that? What sort of effect would it have on Elizabeth? For her mother not to remember her was bad enough, but to have Serenity forget Elizabeth over and over again while poor Elizabeth stood by and watched was just too much for a little girl to take.
For the first time, he wondered if Elizabeth would be better off without Serenity in her life. The problem was Elizabeth would always be attached to Serenity. Even when Serenity had been in Jackson’s grip and had no recollection of them at all, Elizabeth still connected with her mother; still saw the things she did.
Only Serenity’s death would ever truly free Elizabeth.
Immediately, he pushed the thought away, his heart cramping in such a sickening way he wanted to reach into his own chest and rip it from his ribcage. How could he think such a thing? He’d betrayed her by even allowing the thought to cross his mind.
But Serenity would never have wanted Elizabeth to suffer. When Serenity had been in her right mind, the thing that had been the most important to her was Elizabeth’s well-being. Now, he realized, it was his too.
Serenity lifted her head. “What’s going on, Sebastian? Why am I sitting on the floor, crying?”
He paused. “Because you can’t remember who you are…”
“I don’t remember how I got here.”
“Elizabeth and I found you in Washington and we brought you back here.”
She gave her head a slight shake and looked at him, her head titled to one side, a slight crease between her eyes. “Yes, I know. I meant I can’t remember how I got on the floor.”
He took her by the shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes straight on. “Are you telling me you remember us bringing you here? You remember the last week happening?”
The alarm he felt sure had been so present on his own features transferred to hers. “Yes, of course I do. You’re scaring me!”
He let her go. “I’m sorry, but a minute ago you didn’t have any idea who I was. You couldn’t remember the whole of the last week happening. It was as though I’d picked you up from Jackson’s hole and dumped you right in this room.”
“I forgot again?”
He nodded.
“That’s not good, is it?”
Sebastian took her hand. “We’ll figure this out, Serenity. I promise.”
He helped her to her feet. “I think I’m going to go back to bed,” she said. “I can’t face any of this right now. It’s all too much.”
“Sure. You rest. I’m sure this is just a blip.”
Depression radiated from her like a bad aura. He couldn’t imagine how hard all of this was on her. He wished so badly that he could just get her back again. He needed to face facts—Serenity wasn’t going to get better on her own. He needed to ask someone for help, someone who knew more than he did.
She climbed back into bed but didn’t lie down. Instead, she sat in her customary position with her knees pulled up to her chest. As he watched, her whole body sagged and she hid her face in her hands.
“I’m not strong enough to handle this,” she said, her voice mumbled behind her fingers.
He sat on the bed beside her and reached out. He touched her chin, tilting her face up to his.
“You are strong enough,” he said. “And when you feel like you’re not, we’ll be your strength. Elizabeth and I. We’ll be here to carry you when you feel like you can’t go on.”
Her eyes shone with fresh tears. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”
The thought about freeing Elizabeth speared guilt through his heart. She might think she didn’t deserve him, but he would always wonder if he was good enough for her.
“Hush,” he said, stroking her hair. “Lie down now. Get some rest.”
Leaving Serenity curled up on her side, one hand beneath her face, the other clutching her bedcovers, he backed out of the room and quietly closed the door.
He went back down stairs and threw himself on the couch. He needed a drink, and not a stiff scotch. His time to feed was approaching and the need raised its head like a sleeping dragon and blew flames that fanned the desire.
The sound of Elizabeth creeping down the stairs caught his attention. He didn’t have the heart to tell her to go back to bed. The little girl crossed the room and slid beside him on the couch. He lifted his arm and she tucked herself under it, resting her cheek against his chest. Sebastian kissed the top of her head.
“You’re supposed to be asleep in bed,” he chided.
“She’s no better, is she, Sebastian?”
This time he was too distracted to correct her. “No, she’s not.”
“So what do we do?”
“We might need to ask for help.”
“Who from?”
“I know an older vampire who might be able to help. He lives in New York. He’s an ancient and might have knowledge about how to bring her back again.”
Elizabeth scrambled to her knees, pulling away from him, her eyes shining bright. “Then we need to go! Right away!”
“You’re not coming,” he said. “The ancients are unpredictable and I don’t know how they’ll react to your mommy, never mind you.”
“That’s not fair!” she shouted, jumping to her feet. “I’m not missing out now. You both need me.”
Sebastian shook his head. Sometimes he forgot she was only a six-year-old, then she’d throw a sulky temper tantrum and he was quickly reminded.
“I’ve not decided if I’m definitely going to go yet, but if I do, I’m not bringing you with me. I can protect you around most people—around most supernaturals—but not an ancient. He has hundreds of years on me and I don’t even want him to know you exist.”
Elizabeth’s shoulders slumped and her lower lip stuck out, but she didn’t argue with him. She settled back on the couch and took hold of Sebastian’s hand. Her little hand looked tiny against Sebastian’s large palm and she played with his fingers, folding them back and forth as s
he talked.
“Tell me about this ancient vampire,” she said. “What is he like?”
“His name is Demitrios and he’s originally from Greece. Do you know where that is?” She shook her head, her dark curls bouncing around her face. “Greece is in Europe and it’s a very old country.”
“Older than America?”
Sebastian laughed. “Much, much older. These older vampires have seen so much, so many changes in our world, it’s no wonder many of them have not survived.”
“I didn’t think vampires could die,” she said, immediately worried for Sebastian’s own survival.
“For us to die is very difficult, but it is possible.” He saw the alarm on her face. “But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
She snuggled back down into him again and his thoughts drifted. The truth was, though he’d not seen Demitrios for a long time, the other vampire was hard and cruel. Sebastian had no intention of telling this to Elizabeth. He had spent a brief period with him at the beginning of the twentieth century, but he’d not liked Demitrios’s practice of bringing humans back and keeping them as slaves. He’d keep the same human for several weeks or more, holding them prisoner to be fed upon whenever he so desired. That wasn’t Sebastian’s style. While he couldn’t deny his nature—he still fed from humans, despite having one as a child and being in love with another—he didn’t believe in torture. He had no choice but to feed from people. Feeding from animals left him like them—animalistic—and not feeding at all left him not in his right mind. He’d never put Elizabeth at risk from his need for human blood and the only way he ensured such a thing happening was by feeding regularly and on time. He hated that it meant he picked another human life above his child’s, but in the end Elizabeth and Serenity were more important to him than any other human.
He’d not seen Demitrios for over a hundred years and had no idea about the other vampire’s frame of mind. He was sure of one thing; he didn’t want Elizabeth anywhere near him.
Serenity, however, she would be a different matter. He had no choice but to expose Serenity to Demitrios. Sebastian couldn’t simply explain Serenity’s situation to Demitrios. He had no comparisons. Jackson had been one of a kind—neither vampire nor human—and he didn’t know if Demitrios would be able to judge the situation if he didn’t see her for himself. Taking her to him would be risky, but he didn’t think he had a choice. If Serenity’s memory continued to deteriorate, he might be left with nothing but a shell of a person.
The Serenity Series: Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 50