He raised a brow.
“We’re gonna have a baby, Brett!” I shouted, so loud that all of Asha probably heard me.
“What!? I’m gonna be a…dad?” He immediately teared up, and I could instantly tell how touched, happy, and amazed he was.
There was no way to hold back the flow of emotions between us. We had created a beautiful baby out of perfect love, and neither of us could stop smiling. We were both overwhelmed by a happiness we couldn’t even explain. Even though an asteroid had wreaked havoc in our world, and even though we were temporarily forced to live underwater, nothing could take that beautiful moment away from us. That horrible disaster might have destroyed our planet and atmosphere, but it wouldn’t destroy our love. I hoped beyond hope we could raise our child on the surface. We’d been told that the scientists were working on it nonstop, but we never knew how much of the propaganda we could really believe. The air seemed fine to me but I wasn’t sure of long term effects.
My hands caressed my stomach. I was awed by the fact that I had a tiny human being growing inside of me. I wondered what our child would look like, if he or she would have hazel eyes like mine or brown ones like Brett’s. Will the baby’s hair be wavy like Daddy’s or straight like Mommy’s? The amount of love I felt for the infant already was nothing short of amazing. “Yes!” I squealed. “You’re going to be a father.”
He flashed me that big, bright grin. “I can’t believe it! This is the happiest moment of my life!” He smiled, laughed, and then spun me around; he almost seemed happier than I was, if that was even possible. Brett touched my stomach, then kissed it. “I’m your father,” he said, “and I already love you with everything I’ve got.”
More tears welled up in my eyes as I listened Brett talk to our unborn baby. “I think it’s a boy,” I said.
“Whatever nature decides to give us is fine. A girl will be just as beautiful.”
“I couldn’t agree more, but I have a feeling it’s a boy.”
“We’ll know in nine months.”
I smiled. No matter the gender, I knew our baby would be beautiful and perfect in every way. I wanted to hold him in my arms, rock him, and tell him how much I loved him. I wanted to see my child, kiss him, hug him, touch his palm and watch his tiny fingers curl around mine. I’d never loved somebody so much, and I hadn’t even met him yet.
“We have to tell the elders,” he said.
“I already did. I’ve been granted official permission to stay down here and raise our child.”
He stroked a strand of hair out of my eyes. “So we’re together for the next ten years?”
I could hardly contain my excitement as I hugged him. “Yes! We did it, Brett.”
“Obviously. That is how babies are made, Sky,” he said, winking.
“Shut up!”
“And you’re okay about being down here that long?”
“You know I hate being down here, but I won’t leave without you. I know the plan isn’t perfect, and we’ll have to figure something out later, but we’ve got a while yet.”
After dinner, we cuddled on the couch and stared through our glass wall at all the beautiful fish and the lights that we could control from inside our room.
“One day, we’ll be able to look at the stars instead,” he said.
“It will be so beautiful,” I said. “My mom used to tell me it was like diamonds on black velvet.”
“I imagine it will be mind-blowing.”
“Like you?”
He chuckled. “Like you.”
“We’re both lucky, Brett. We found true love, and now we’re having a baby.”
He placed his hand on my belly again. “What should we name the baby?”
“Christopher.”
“And if it’s a girl?”
“Hmm. I like Melinda or Belinda.”
“Really? Do you think we could name her after my grandmother, Jennifer? We could call her Jenny for short.”
“I’d love that.”
He gripped my hands. “We’re gonna have a beautiful life, and I’ll be the best dad there ever was. I’ll teach our child to play football and baseball and—”
“Little Jenny’s gonna be a quarterback, huh?”
“Like I said, I’m gonna teach our child how to play football and baseball.”
I laughed. “So our daughter will be a tomboy?”
“No, but she should know how to play sports. I want our daughter to be well rounded, like her mama.”
I laughed. “What do you think she’ll look like?”
“Beautiful, just like you.”
I grinned.
“This just feels too good to be true,” he said.
“I know. We’re married, living in our first home, having our first child. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am. It feels like a fairytale.”
“I’m gonna work hard to be the best husband and father I can be,” he vowed.
I kissed his lips. “I know you will, and I’ll be the best wife and mother too.”
“I just hope our child doesn’t inherit your clunky dancing feet.”
I laughed and playfully slugged him. “Hey! I’m a great dancer.”
He shot me a look.
I couldn’t help but crack up laughing, because I knew he was right. “Okay, I suck, but at least I can sing.”
“Like an angel.”
“Aw. Thank you, baby.” He then felt my tummy and talked to our baby again. “Can you hear me, little one? I hope so. Though we haven’t met, I love you more than anything. You’ll be joining our family soon, and I can’t wait to see your beautiful face and hold those little fingers and play This Little Piggy with those tiny toes.”
I put my hand on top of his. “I love you too, little baby. I can’t wait to see you smile, to hear your tiny giggles. I know we haven’t met you yet, but Mommy and Daddy will always be here for you. We’ll never, ever stop loving you, Christopher or Jenny.”
Brett stroked my stomach lovingly.
I continued, “No matter what challenges we face as a family, I promise to love you and help you through them. I’ve heard that once a mother holds her baby in her arms, the love that swells in her heart is overwhelming. I know my love for you can only grow, and that makes me smile. I cannot wait to meet you!”
“I can imagine his little, tiny fingers wrapping around mine,” Brett said.
“And I can imagine him looking up at us with eyes as brown as his daddy’s.”
Chapter 38
I spun in a slow circle and admired all the greenery and flowers around me. One thing stuck out in my mind: Gardens sure are beautiful. I toiled away, planting fresh herbs. It was always nice to be in the greenhouse, where I had a little alone time, and I loved getting dirty. There was something very special about watching things grow, transform, and change, and providing food for our community gave me a sense of purpose. The citizens appreciated that they had fresh lettuce, peas, green beans, and tomatoes, juicier and tastier than anything they could buy in the market in the past before disaster stuck. Whether it was a beautiful flower or a tasty vegetable, there was just something exhilarating about watching something magnificent emerge from a tiny little seed planted deep in the dirt, and nothing gave me greater pleasure than seeing the fruits of my labor. Carla and many of the others made fun of me for the dirt under my nails, but I immensely enjoyed digging, weeding, harvesting, watering, and pruning.
Brett absolutely hated zucchini, until I surprised him one day. I sautéed some garlic, peppers, and onions in butter, then dipped the zucchini strips in it and slapped them on the grill for about four minutes on each side. He couldn’t get enough of it, always saying I could turn the yuckiest things into something delicious.
The door creaked open, and I peeked my head around the plants.
Smiling, Brett came in holding a book. “I see you’re hard at work,” he said.
“You know how much I love this.”
He smiled. “I won’t bother you for too long, but I
have something I’m dying to show you.”
I slipped off my gardening gloves and held out my hands. “I love surprises.”
He handed the book to me.
I peered down at it and read the title: What To Expect in Pregnancy. My face lit up as I met his gaze.
“I thought it might help,” he said, “since so many weird things are probably going with your, uh…lady parts or whatever.”
I couldn’t help but smile at how shy he suddenly seemed. Brett was willing to do anything to make me happy, and I’d never felt so loved by anybody. “I hunted in the library for that book.”
“Hannah Bargains let me have her copy, since she doesn’t need it anymore.”
I squealed in excitement. “It’s perfect. Thanks, hon’. Hey, my shift’s almost over.”
“Good, because I intend to spoil you rotten when we get home.”
“You do?”
“Yep. I cleaned the house, and I’m making dinner. Then I’ll treat you to a long back massage.”
“Mmm. That sounds heavenly.”
He wrapped his arms around me.
I looked up into his eyes. “How did I get so lucky?”
“That’s the question I’ve been asking myself since the moment I met you.”
I smiled.
“How’s the baby?” he asked. “Is he kicking?”
“You really need to read this book with me,” I joked. “I won’t feel any movement for months.”
“You know I don’t know anything about this stuff, right?”
“You think I do?”
“We’ll just do what comes naturally and follow our instincts. Women have been having babies forever, right?”
“Right, and lots of my maternal instincts are already kicking in.”
“Like what?”
“Like…nesting.”
“Huh? Last time I checked, you weren’t a bird.”
I laughed. “Like I said, we really need to read that book tonight. Nesting just means I have a natural instinct to want to get everything ready for the baby. I wanna go home and organize all the stuff everyone’s given us.”
“Then let’s eat dinner, I’ll give you that massage, and we can nest to your little heart’s content.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”
***
My day was almost over. It had been very productive and I couldn’t wait to finish up. I had one last task to complete and I was done for the day.
When I took the stairs to go get some seeds in the storage unit, I swear I felt a shove and I lost my balance and tumbled down the stairs. I screamed for help. Help came and I was rushed to the doctor. After careful examination, she told me to go home and come back in the morning for another examination.
Back at our suit, Brett touched my stomach. “How are you feeling?”
“I think I’m okay. My back hurts. My head aches.”
I met Brett’s gaze. “I think somebody pushed me.”
“Did you see anyone?”
“No. I could’ve just tripped. It all happened in a blur.”
“Could Carla have done this?” he asked, anger boiling through him.
“No,” I said. “I really don’t think so. Maybe it was one of Dante’s minions.”
“I don’t think somebody would do that.”
“We don’t know what they’re capable of,” I reminded him.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Me too.”
He hugged me and we laid in bed talking for hours, before we fell asleep.
A sharp cramp woke me up.
Suddenly, everything was a blur. More cramps came, and I held my stomach and took a deep breath, then carried on. When the pain became almost too excruciating to bear, I had to wake Brett up. “Baby, something’s wrong,” I said, groaning.
“What? What is it?”
“Cramps,” I stuttered. “It hurts so bad.”
“I’ll get the doctor.”
I watched as he rushed out the door. I tried to get up but collapsed to the ground. When I glanced down, I realized I was standing in a puddle of blood. No! I thought. God, please don’t let me lose this ba—
But before I could even finish the thought, darkness swallowed me whole.
Chapter 39
When I awoke, I found myself in the hospital ward on the south side of the city.
“Sky,” the nurse said.
“Where’s Brett?” I asked.
“He’s answering questions. He’ll be here soon.”
“Is my baby okay?” I asked.
“The doctor will be in shortly to explain everything.”
I was unnerved by her grim expression, and I feared the worst. My voice wavered as I said, “I can’t wait that long. Please just tell me my baby’s okay. I remember blood, so much blood. I lost my baby, didn’t I?” I said, sobbing into the pillow. “This can’t be happening! Not my baby. I took good care of myself, and—”
“Just try to calm down, honey,” she interrupted. “I’ll go get the doctor.” She refused to look at me in the eyes and hurried out the door as I sobbed and cursed and screamed.
A few minutes later, Dr. Connors came in, the woman who’d been taking care of me and doing my checkups since birth. She could have gone up to the surface years earlier, but she’d decided to stay in Asha, where she was needed. The nurse cautiously walked in behind her.
“Dr. Connors,” I said shakily, “wh-what happened?”
“We tried everything to save the baby, but—”
“Oh no!” I said, putting my hands over my ears, as if I could shut out the bad news I knew I was about to hear.
She gently pulled my hands away from my head. “Sky, I’m afraid you lost the child.”
I sobbed, overwhelmed with grief, and then I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had been emotionally pushed over the edge.
“Sadly, it’s pretty common these days,” she said, “especially down here.”
Even though it was early in my pregnancy, I’d already grown to love my child, and the loss was paralyzing and painful.
The nurse touched my shoulder. “Sky, you’ll just have to take one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and try to move on. I promise you that someday, life can be beautiful again, and you and Brett will—”
“No!” I screamed, furious at the hand I’d been dealt. “Stop lying to me, reading that stupid script Dante probably wrote for you.” I was so angry and pained that it literally hurt to breath. Grief blanketed my soul, and depression quickly dug its claws in, threatening to consume me. “I need to be by myself,” I said. “I don’t wanna hear about joy when my heart has just exploded.”
“I understand,” she said, then walked out of the room, followed by the doctor.
A few minutes later, Brett came in, and our eyes locked.
“We…I lost the baby,” I said, weeping, unable to believe I was caught in such a horrific moment.
“I know,” he said. “It wasn’t your fault, Sky.” He embraced tightly, and we both cried for what seemed like an eternity.
“What happened?” I asked, sobbing. “What did I do wrong?”
“You can’t blame yourself, Sky.”
“It was the fall, wasn’t it?”
His lips trembled and he couldn’t even answer.
I’d never felt pain like that before, not even when I’d lost my mother. Howling, panicked anguish tore through me. “I never saw my baby, but I know he was growing inside of me. I felt him, Brett!”
“Can I get you something, sweetheart? Some water or food or—”
“How can you even ask me that? I don’t want to eat or drink. I just want my baby!” I snapped. I knew he was trying to help and that he was hurting, too, but I was so grief-stricken I couldn’t even think straight. When he grew silent and looked at the floor, I knew I had to apologize. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I feel like my heart’s been ripped right out of me.”
Our eyes locked, and he wiped a tear from my eye.
“Why us?” I asked. “This isn’t fair!”
“I know. It doesn’t make sense. We had so much love to give a child.”
“I can’t stop crying,” I said. “I don’t think I ever will. How can I go on like this, without my baby?”
“I don’t know. I feel the same way,” he said softly, wincing with his own pain.
“We never even got the chance to meet him. I know everybody thinks I’m strong, but I don’t think I’ll survive this.”
“We’ve got to,” he said.
A rollercoaster of emotions washed over me, from depression and disbelief to anger and guilt. “I feel so much, yet I’m so…numb. This is heart-wrenching on every level. I can’t even breathe, Brett. I feel like our whole world has just crumbled into a million little pieces.” I let out a long scream as sobs wracked my body.
Brett held me in his arms as I cried into his shoulder. “I’m heartbroken too,” he said. “I already loved our child with all my heart.”
“We both did.”
My stomach clenched at the sight of Brett crying. There in that lonely hospital room, we shared our feelings and held each other, trying to comfort one another through the pain. Sometimes we were quiet, just looking at each other, unable to speak any words. I’d never felt so lost before, and I wished my mom was alive to hold me.
***
The next day, I was released from the hospital and sent home, with Dr. Connors’s blessing and assurance that I could call her if I suffered any physical pain.
A few days later, I walked over to the desk and sat down to write a letter to my baby, a final farewell to the little soul I never even got to meet.
“We’ll have another baby,” Brett reassured me.
“That will never replace our son,” I whispered, picking up a toy bulldozer next to the desk from the floor. “He would’ve loved this and racecars and Legos and—”
“Sky, don’t do this to yourself,” he said, hugging me tightly.
It was a painstaking process to try to repair a shattered heart. I wasn’t sure I even could do it. Hardship, heartache, and sadness could either rip us apart or draw us closer together. I vowed that I wouldn’t let it ruin our marriage. We would grieve together, and I knew Brett would stand by me, no matter what.
Rebel Princess - Book 2 (The Hope Saga) Page 18