Kathy and Randall had moved in when Ira had been diagnosed with cancer and it became apparent Eliza needed help. Sarah privately thought they’d been so eager to help because Randall had seen a free ride on his horizon, but she kept that thought to herself.
“You know I can’t begin to guess what you’re going through,” Sarah said. “But I’m going to tell you what I think you’d tell me.”
Eliza raised an eyebrow. “And what do you think that would be?”
Sarah gathered her thoughts, choosing her words carefully before she spoke. “Do what you think feels right to you. And don’t rush into anything. You don’t answer to any of us, and you shouldn’t have to feel like you do. Daddy wouldn’t want that. He’d want you to do whatever you need to do to get through this and hang anybody who feels differently.”
Her mother didn’t respond for a long time, and Sarah was starting to worry that she’d said too much when Eliza finally asked, “How did you get to be so smart, young lady?”
“I get it from my mother.”
Eliza let out a long breath and closed her eyes. “I’ve not had a good night’s sleep in several months. I’m so tired, I can’t think straight. Other than sleep, right now I don’t know what I want.”
“Would it help if I stayed with you tonight?”
“Sleep in the bed with me?” Eliza asked.
“Yes. Only for tonight, to get you past the first hurdle. I’d be there in case you got scared, or needed to talk.”
Eliza rubbed her eyes. “If you wouldn’t mind, I think that would… I think I could do that. Thank you.”
Sarah got up and took their mugs to the sink. She came back to her mother and held out a hand. “Then let’s see if we can’t get you settled in so you can get some sleep.”
“Dr. Spencer gave me something to help me sleep. I don’t want to have to rely on it. Do you think I should take it?” Eliza asked as they went into the bedroom.
“Why don’t you try to sleep without it, and then if you need it in a little while, you can take it?”
Sarah tucked her mother in and smoothed Eliza’s hair back much like her mother had done for her when she was a child.
Eliza smiled. “One of these days, you’re going to be a wonderful mother, Sarah Jane.”
“I hope so, Mama.” Sarah went around and got under the covers on the other side of the bed, turning the light out as she lay down. To her relief, her mother seemed to go to sleep almost as soon as the light was out. Sarah, however, stayed awake for a while longer, her mind drifting back over the last few days. As she started to drift off, a sound woke her. Thinking at first that it was a train whistle, she raised her head up off the pillow to hear it better. When she did, she realized that the long, mournful wail wasn’t a train whistle, but the distant howl of a wolf.
Chapter Eight
THE NEXT SEVERAL WEEKS WERE long and stressful for everyone in the Browning household. Sarah’s father had done as much as he could when he’d learned he wouldn’t survive, so her mother wouldn’t have to worry about finances after he was gone, but there was still paperwork to complete, banks to visit, and a myriad of other small things that had slipped by while Ira was ill.
Jack went back to Fort Knox, and life slowly returned to some semblance of normal, but the progress went in fits and starts. Every time Sarah thought they were making headway against the grief, at least learning to cope with it a little more, something would happen to knock that impression back down.
After two weeks of trying to sleep in their old bedroom, Eliza had given up. “I can’t bear the memories,” she confessed during one of their late-night conversations. With little ceremony, Sarah helped her mother pack up the bedroom and move into Jack’s old room. Kathy and Randall had moved out a few days later, leaving Sarah and Eliza the only ones in the house.
By the time January rolled around, Sarah had started trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. It was a topic that often came up in conversation with her mother.
“What do you want to do?” Eliza asked. “If you want to go back to school, we’ll make it happen. Your father set aside some money, and—”
“No. That money is yours, Mama. Besides, I don’t know that going back to school is the right thing for me. I don’t know what is. I’m going to go into town tomorrow and talk to Mr. Napier at the Board of Education. A couple of my professors at Berea wrote reference letters for me, and they thought he might be convinced to take me on as a teacher despite my not having graduated, given the circumstances.”
Chin propped on her hand, Eliza studied her daughter. “You’ve gotten so mature the last couple of years, I hardly know what to think. I was so busy with your daddy these past few months, I’ve not had any time at all to spend talking to you. Whatever happened to that boy you were going with at school? You’ve not mentioned him at all since you’ve been home.”
Sarah shrugged. “You’ve had more important things on your mind. And as to that boy, he… Joey is a nice young man, but he isn’t for me. He, um, he kissed me, Mama. And I didn’t feel a thing.” She felt her face flush, but she needed to talk to her mother about it. “I really thought he might be the one, but then he kissed me, and all I could think was that I’d waited that long to be kissed and it was like being licked on the mouth by a dog.”
She’d caught Eliza mid-sip, and coffee splattered everywhere as her mother erupted into coughing laughter. When she could speak again, Eliza was still chuckling. “Oh, Sarah. Never say you told the poor boy that.”
Grimacing, Sarah blew out a breath. “No, but I think he figured it out. There wasn’t any way to tell him without hurting him. I felt so vain, breaking up with him because of the way he kissed. But I remembered you and…”
“You remembered seeing me and your father, and you want that. Is that what you were going to say?”
Sarah nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Either for mentioning your daddy or for wanting what we had. It’s my fervent prayer that all my children will know such a happy marriage.” She stood and stretched. “After you speak to Mr. Napier, if he doesn’t have anything for you, you might want to swing by the library. I know they were looking for someone there a few weeks ago. If they haven’t found anyone, it might be a good fit for you until you can find a teaching job.” She placed a soft kiss on Sarah’s forehead and gave her a brief hug. “I’m going to bed. Will you be up soon?”
Sarah got up and moved to look out the window over the sink. “I don’t know. I’m actually thinking about taking a walk.”
Eliza frowned. “This late? It’s nearly nine o’clock.”
“Yes, but the moon’s full, and it’s almost as bright as day out there. Plus, since that warm air came in today, it’s almost pleasant. I won’t need more than a heavy coat to stay warm. I’ve not had a chance to go walking since I got home, and I’m feeling a little caged in, to tell the truth.”
Her mother narrowed her eyes. “Well, come upstairs with me first, if you insist on going out tonight. I want you to take a pistol with you. If we really have been hearing a wolf, you don’t need to be out there unprotected.”
Once Eliza had outfitted Sarah with one of her father’s pistols, she made her promise to stop on her way back in. “Just let me know you’re alive, okay? Else I’ll worry.”
“Okay, but it could be a while, an hour or two, before I come back,” Sarah warned, checking the pistol to make sure it was loaded. Thanks to her father’s tutelage, she was comfortable handling the gun.
After going back to her room to don sturdy pants, her walking boots, and a heavy coat, Sarah set out, the gun safely holstered on her belt. She had tucked a blanket into her old book bag and was looking forward to getting out of the house for a while. As she had mentioned to her mother, the moonlight was so bright, there wasn’t any need for a flashlig
ht. If it had been much brighter, Sarah would have been able to read a book outside if she’d been so inclined.
She headed up the familiar path around the craggy outcropping of rocks, across the Campbell-Browning property line, and to the pool of water where she felt most at home. The landscape was stark in the moonlight, monochromatic and eerily quiet. Nonetheless, it soothed her on a primitive level.
When she reached the top of the boulder where she typically sat, she hesitated. A faint rustling in the trees and brush on up the mountain had the short hairs on the back of her arms and neck standing straight up. Her hand hovered over the butt of the gun, and for the first time, she wondered if coming out had been a good idea.
Sarah stood still for several minutes, barely breathing, but she didn’t hear the rustling again. Slowly, she relaxed and dropped her arm to her side. She drew in a shaky breath, then let it out with a huff.
“You’re letting your imagination run away with you, Sarah.” She spread out her blanket and sat down. The moon was almost directly overhead, casting a new light on the pool. Sarah had never ventured out to her spot at night, and she was pleased to find it as breathtaking by moonlight as it was in the light of the day.
She stayed for over an hour, when the chill of the night finally started to penetrate her thick clothing. She was glad she’d had the foresight to bring a couple of handkerchiefs, as she’d sat and cried for most of the hour. As she left the pool, she stopped at the pool to rinse the soiled linens, using one of the wet cloths to wipe her hot face. She was still deeply anguished by the loss of her father, but the anvil of grief was finally beginning to lift. Tomorrow was going to be a challenge, and she might be right back where she’d started emotionally by the time the day was over, but progress was progress, and she’d take it where she found it.
Owen shadowed her all the way home. His heart nearly broke as he listened to her sobs. He knew what she was feeling, all too well. He’d wanted to go to her and offer her comfort, but that wasn’t really an option.
He’d heard about Ira Browning’s death. He had also heard the speculation about Sarah by the eligible, and some not so eligible, men who’d been in the hardware store earlier that day. Her attributes were discussed in lurid detail, and more than one of the local fellows were considering paying her a call. What he had not been able to discover was whether Sarah was going to be staying with her mother or going back to school in Berea.
In the three years since she’d left for college, he’d missed her more than he would have thought possible. Thus, hearing the randy bucks at the store talk about her had set his teeth on edge and put him in a snarling, black mood. He’d walked out of his house as soon as the sun went down and changed into the wolf he was most comfortable being when he was in such a state.
He hadn’t expected her to show up at the rock. That the moon was full and calling to him didn’t help. Full moons always made him more restless, and coupled with his other frustrations, Sarah’s appearance felt like something of a last straw.
Ever since he’d learned what he was, Owen’s insatiable curiosity had been turned toward collecting the tales and folklore surrounding shape shifting. He had volume upon volume of stories, fiction and non-fiction alike, and while a few of the works came close to the truth, most did not. For example, the popular belief that shifters could only change during a full moon simply wasn’t true. It had been one of the first myths Owen had taken his uncle Eli to task over.
“But the moon is there all the time, Eli. It doesn’t make sense that the full moon could affect us so much, and the rest of the time it wouldn’t.”
“You still feel the warmth of the sun, even when it’s mostly hidden behind clouds. You still see its light. It still affects the weather, right?”
“Sure, but—”
“Hang on, son. I’m not finished. So when the moon isn’t full, we know it’s there. It calls to us, pulls on us, much like it pulls on the ocean to create the tides. But when it’s full? That’s like the brightest, sunniest day in summer. We bask in the glow, much like a flower opens under the sun. It’s simple nature, Owen, not some mystical power.”
Owen hadn’t been satisfied by the explanation, so he’d set out to determine the truth for himself. To his consternation, his uncle was apparently right. Owen had conceded the fact to him on a visit to Laurel County when he was nineteen.
Eli laughed. “Owen, you’re so skeptical. You can’t trust it if you can’t see it. I can hardly wait until you meet a young lady who makes you feel things you can’t see or touch. Then, maybe, you’ll understand a little better.”
Owen endured the teasing, but only because he knew Eli felt real affection for him. He didn’t tell his uncle that he had no intention of ever letting a woman get close enough to enthrall him so much that he lost his head. He’d had a brief physical relationship the summer Sarah had gone away to school, but physical was all he’d let it be. Instinctively, Owen knew Sarah Browning could break through all his shields, which was the main reason he took pains to avoid her.
As he walked her home, her unawareness sent something dark shooting through him. It would be too easy for Owen to jump on her and sink his teeth into the soft flesh of her throat. Conversely, he could shift back into his human form, where he was almost as strong as in his lupine form, and carry her to the top of his mountain with no one being the wiser until it was too late. It had been a long time since he’d felt the soft touch of a woman’s skin against his, and the emotional and physical need was part of what had driven him out tonight. He wasn’t physically aroused by her in his current form, but the mental need was there, riding him hard.
All those dark thoughts raced through his head, but Owen knew he would never carry out the threat his sheer existence posed. The feelings she stirred in him gave him cause for concern, though. If Sarah stayed in the area, they were bound to meet. With her old enough to be his mate, she presented a temptation Owen didn’t know if he could resist.
Chapter Nine
NOT FIVE MINUTES INTO HER interview with Superintendent Napier, Sarah knew she wasn’t going to be getting a job as a teacher anytime soon.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. You’d be a welcome addition to the teaching staff at any of our schools. We just don’t have an opening, not this time of year. Next summer, we probably would be able to do something. But not right now.”
They’d chatted for a few more minutes, then he showed Sarah out of his office with an understanding smile. “You don’t forget what I told you. Come July, I expect to see you back, application in hand.”
Sarah kept a brave face until she reached her car, where she sagged back against the cloth seat. She hadn’t let her hopes get too high to begin with, but hearing the words spoken aloud had been disappointing. A quick glance at her watch told her it was nearing lunchtime, and she decided to head over to the drugstore’s lunch counter to grab a bite to eat. If she was lucky, Gilly would be working. Gilly’s parents owned the drugstore, and Sarah fully expected her friend, who was an only child, to take it over someday.
Once she’d taken a seat at the counter and placed an order for a turkey club sandwich, Sarah had a few minutes to consider what her next move needed to be. Gilly brought the food over and sat it down, along with a mug of hot cocoa.
“You looked like you needed it,” she explained when Sarah sent her a quizzical look. “Interview didn’t go well, I take it?”
“No, not in the least. He couldn’t help me.”
Gilly touched Sarah’s hand. “I’m sorry. I know you were counting on something coming through. What are you going to do?”
Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. Mama mentioned hearing something about the library needing someone. I guess I’ll try there.”
Gilly tapped her lip thoughtfully. “You know what? That might work out better in the long run than a teaching job. I think you should go straight over ther
e as soon as you eat your lunch.” A customer down the counter signaled for more coffee, and Gilly moved toward him. “Come back and tell me how things go at the library, okay?”
“Okay.” Sarah could only eat about half her sandwich, but she did finish off the cocoa. She had the other waitress bag the uneaten food for her, then paid her check. Stopping in at the drugstore had been something of a treat, especially since Sarah didn’t have a job. She’d have to forego eating out in the future if she didn’t find employment, and soon.
Without much hope, she left her car parked on Main Street and walked up the hill to the library. The building had been built only two years prior, and Sarah had only been in it a handful of times. Seeing the line of people waiting to be checked out, she didn’t go straight to the front desk, but headed over to browse through the stacks. Several books jumped out at her, and she figured now was as good a time as any to pick them up.
The line was gone by the time she made her way to the front desk. When Sarah placed her selections on the counter, the woman behind the desk gave her a weary smile. Sarah handed over her library card. “I heard that you all might be hiring. If so, then I’d like to put in an application.”
The woman—Shirley, according to her nametag—looked at Sarah with renewed interest. “Do tell. Have you ever worked in a library before, hon?”
“No. I was in school at Berea, three years in on a four-year degree for teaching. I came home in November when my father passed.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Hard to get a teaching job this time of year, especially without a full certificate under your belt.”
Sarah felt her cheeks flush. “Yes, ma’am.”
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