by Scott, Lisa
Tonya took the bag from her and went into the bathroom to change. She leaned against the wall and sighed. This was turning out to be the stupidest thing she’d ever done—even worse than dying her hair magenta when she was sixteen. And all of this was fueled by panic and jealousy because Tommy had moved on from her. Telling him, “I still want you,” would’ve been so much easier than this.
But it wouldn’t have been fair. Tommy might think twice about staying at Ellen’s place for Jane if he knew Tonya had feelings for him. If he even believed her—after all, he moves in with Ellen and suddenly Tonya’s professing her renewed love? Talk about suspicious. He’d probably suspect she was trying to be manipulative.
She unzipped the garment bag and groaned. She was supposed to do hair in this outfit? She slipped on the denim shorts and white eyelet shirt. Then she kicked off her comfortable clogs and put on the tottering heels that might look nice in an ad, but weren’t designed to help a woman get anywhere efficiently.
She hobbled out into the shop while the women oohed and ahhed, and the rest of the crew continued dismantling her place and setting up lights and gear. “I’m not going to be able to work in these. And this outfit is sure to get trashed if I have any color jobs.”
“Don’t worry. We’ve got a duplicate outfit as backup. And you can take the shoes off for a break now and then. It’s not like every shot will be focused on your feet.”
Tonya kicked off the tortuous stilettos and sat down. She surveyed the changes to her salon. The chic curtains she’d hung around her mirrors and windows had been replaced with red gingham check fabric. All of her framed photos of popular hairdos were gone. “Why are you hanging so many pictures of chickens?” Tonya looked around some more. “And tractors? I don’t like either of those things. And they have nothing to do with hair.”
“The salon had too much of a big city feel to it,” said Michael, the producer.
“I’m from a big city,” Tonya said.
“But this is Small Town, Big Love. It has to have a certain look,” Amy explained. “You’ll get used to all this, don’t worry.”
Tonya noticed someone had slapped her bumper stickers up on the wall behind the carousel. She smiled. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“We want you to reference those sayings often,” said Michael. “It’ll be easier if they’re up on the wall, that way we can zoom in when you mention it. Try and use the one that says ‘Honk if you want to hook up’ and maybe ‘Caution: Professional Heartbreaker.’”
“You guys think of everything, don’t you?” Tonya asked.
“We’d get fired if we didn’t,” Chloe said.
A tall, muscular, dark-haired guy walked through the door. Tonya didn’t recognize him. “Can I help you?”
“I’m supposed to be here for the shoot?” he said.
“Chaz, sit right down and Tonya will be with you shortly,” Michael said.
“Who is this guy?” Tonya asked, slipping her shoes back on.
“Your first client.”
“I haven’t noticed you around town,” Tonya said. She definitely would’ve taken note of a guy like him. Lots of notes.
“I’m not from Willowdale,” he said. “I’m…the grandson of one of the ladies at the residential facility.”
“Which one? I used to do hair there. I know them well.”
Michael laughed. “That’s just his back story. He’s an actor.”
Tonya put her hand on her hip. “I thought you were going to tape me cutting my client’s hair? Real clients.”
“Oh, we will. We just want to be sure we have some spice in there, too.”
“I’m spicy,” Chaz said.
“I bet,” Tonya said. “So, what do you want done today?”
Chaz smirked and she realized how bad that had sounded.
“You don’t need to actually cut his hair,” Michael said. “We’ll just show you shampooing it, styling it.”
“Not a real client, and not a real haircut. Got it,” Tonya said.
“And remember those slogans!” Chloe shouted.
Once the cameras were set up, Chaz walked through the door again, and Tonya pretended she was greeting him for the first time. “Hello, handsome,” she said. That was one of her bumper stickers. It was going to be fun to work them into real conversations.
“Hey there,” he said, eyeing her up. “I’ve been visiting my grandmother at the residential facility.”
“Oh? I used to do hair there. What’s her name?” Tonya asked.
“Grandma,” he answered.
Right. This is all fake.
“Anyhow, she told me my hair is too long,” he said. “Can you fix that?”
Remembering she wasn’t supposed to cut it, she said, “Let’s see what we can do.” She led him to the sink and soaped up his hair.
“Mmm, that feels good,” he said when she massaged his scalp.
“Don’t get too excited, I do that for everyone. Stimulates the follicles to promote hair growth. You probably haven’t noticed, but it’s getting a little thin up there.”
He bolted straight up in his seat. “What?” Bubbles streamed down his cheeks and neck.
“Calm down. There are products that can help,” Tonya said, patting his shoulder.
“Cut,” Michael said.
“Wait. You said not to cut his hair.” Tonya was confused.
Michael closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “I meant cut the scene.”
“Why?” Tonya asked.
“Can you be less business and more flirty?” Michael suggested. “We don’t need a lecture on male pattern baldness.”
“I am not going bald,” Chaz said.
You will be. Tonya rolled her eyes. “Fine.”
“Action,” Michael told the crew.
Taking a deep breath she said, “I’m so glad you stopped by today. Most of my clients don’t look like you.” Most of them have gray hair. And boobs.
“Want to grab lunch later?” he asked.
She looked at Michael. “Do I?” she whispered.
“That’s up to you.”
She started drying Chaz’s hair. “Sorry, I’ve got a stacked schedule today. Maybe next time you’re in town.”
Michael widened his eyes and jabbed a finger toward the bumper stickers.
Tonya cleared her throat. “Like I always say, ‘Love’s like a bee, it’ll sting you now or later.’”
“Huh?” Chaz said.
Tonya shrugged. “I have a bumper sticker business. Some are better than others. You can take a look on your way out.” She pointed to the collection of stickers on the other side of the shop. “Two dollars each. I take cash, checks, or credit cards.”
After he was dried and styled, Chaz checked out the bumper stickers and bought one that said, ‘Major League Player in the Dating Game.’ When he left the shop, Tonya slumped in a chair and looked at Michael. “How’d I do?”
He twisted his lips. “Can you fake a Southern accent?”
“No, I cannot. I’m from New York.”
“But the show is set down South.”
“Not gonna happen. Should’ve put that in my contract if you wanted a Southern accent. Or maybe you should’ve picked someone who already had a Southern accent.” She narrowed her eyes at him.
“It was just a suggestion. You’re doing fine.”
The next customer was another person Tonya didn’t recognize. A cute blond with a strange ‘do who was looking to have her hair set.
“Uh, I’m not into that,” Tonya said.
“You only do cuts?” the girl asked.
“I only do guys,” she whispered.
Michael laughed. “You’re dispensing love advice for Shauna along with a hairdo, not making a date.”
Tonya blew out a breath. “Gotcha.”
With the cameras rolling, Shauna walked back into the salon. This time she was crying. “Please tell me you can help me.”
Tonya gulped. “Sit down, I can try. But if it’s that wedge
cut you need help with, you’re just going to have to let it grow out. Now what’s the problem?”
“My boyfriend dumped me, and I’m going to see him at a wedding tonight. I have to look amazing. What can you do with my hair?”
Tonya circled the chair, considering her options. “Can you wear a hat? Is it that kind of affair?”
Shauna cried harder.
Tonya patted her shoulder. “Now, don’t you worry. We’ll figure something out. And like I always say about exes, you exed them out of your life for a reason. You know, like crossing out his name with an ‘x’ in your address book?”
That got Shauna to smile, and they decided on a cute updo—with lots of bobby pins.
After the style was set, Shauna popped up and hugged Tonya. “Thank you so much. You’re like a genius at hair. And love. How is it you don’t have a boyfriend?”
Tonya pressed her lips together. A daisy fell out of her hair, and she flicked it away like a bug. “Hair and love. The two most important things to a girl are also the hardest to get right. I’m working on it. I can’t settle for any ol’ man and neither should you.”
Shauna sniffed and nodded. Then she squeezed Tonya’s hand and left.
“Good stuff,” Michael said.
“Yeah, well neither of them paid me. I need to get some real clients in here.”
Luckily, Rita’s appointment was in ten minutes. It would be a relief to be doing someone’s hair for real.
“I’m really surprised to see you on this show,” Rita said.
“You’re daughter Marisa’s doing it,” Tonya said. “I’m a single gal, gotta try whatever I can.”
“But I thought you and the police chief…”
With her hand up like a traffic cop, Tonya turned to Michael. “Cut. Cut that part out. I don’t want that on TV.” Her heart nearly pounded out of her chest as she imagined the gossip that would ensue.
Michael held up his hands. “Whoa, calm down.”
“What?” Rita said. “It’s no secret. You two went out before. He’s here many mornings before you open.” She shrugged.
“Well, he hasn’t been here in a while. And we’re just friends. Parked in the friend zone. Acquaintances. He likes to start his day with a fresh buzz cut now and then.” Tonya tipped up her chin and looked at the camera. “And I’m looking forward to the many, many men I’ll be meeting while on this show. Many men.”
And with that, the conversation turned to the McClacken twins. Soon it was time for lunch. But Tonya wasn’t in the mood to eat. She needed to talk to Vinny about the ridiculous reality of her situation on this show.
She found him in a booth at the Jelly Jar. He looked up and grinned. “Love this pecan pie. I’ve had to increase my morning run to an hour to burn off all the extra calories I’ve been eating here.”
“I should tell Rita to cut you off after what I’ve been through this morning. Look at me!” She could feel herself turning red.
His eyes swept over her. “You look great.”
She leaned against the table, her voice an angry whisper. “You told me the executives wanted me on the show, but you’ve turned me into someone else. And my customers this morning weren’t real either! You said you’d just be following around my daily schedule. This isn’t my reality.”
“Think of it as enhanced reality.”
She rolled her eyes. “I want to put some changes into my contract. No one’s touching my hair. I wear my own clothes.”
“Too late for that, darlin’.” He stood and tossed his napkin on the table. “I’ve got a production meeting. I’ll talk to the crew about letting more of the real Tonya shine through, but we’ve got to put on a compelling show. I’ll see you at the picnic.”
Tommy came into the diner as she was storming out.
He blinked at her. “How come you never wore anything like that around me?”
She gritted her teeth. “If you’re smart, you’ll quit talking.” She plucked a daisy out of her hair and threw it at him, then marched out the door.
Chapter 7
Tonya went home and put on the t-shirt the show’s producers had supplied her. It read ‘contestant’ on the front and had her name on the back. She headed down to the park, which was packed with people. Quite a few men headed straight for her once they saw her shirt. Everyone wanted a piece of the Small Town, Big Love action. She dashed behind a tree, but someone tapped her on the shoulder.
“Want to hide in my cruiser?” It was Tommy again. Dang, she couldn’t help noticing he looked hotter than ever in his cop uniform. When they were dating, he’d put it on for her and they’d reenact the scene where he pulled her over for speeding when she came to town, only with some different variations on her getting out of the ticket. Her skin prickled with goosebumps remembering it.
“You’re on duty?” she asked.
“We’re all on duty, and we will be until this circus rolls out of town in a few weeks,” he said, squinting into the sun.
“It’s going to seem like forever.”
“You regretting your decision?” Tommy asked.
Which one. “You mean to join the show?”
“I thought that was implied since you’re hiding behind a tree.” Tommy smiled and crossed his arms.
She didn’t want to admit to him this was a bad idea. “I’m giving myself a moment to plan my strategy.”
“Ah, I see.”
“So how are things at Ellen’s?”
“You mean with Jane? Good. She’s getting used to the cast. All the kids signed it at school, so now she thinks it’s cool. It’s been nice spending so much time with her.” A gentle smile split his face.
She loved how much he adored that little girl of his. She wished she could take his hand and squeeze it. “She’ll probably look back some day and remember breaking her leg as a good thing since she gets to be with you.”
“Makes me feel bad I haven’t always been with her every day.” He looked down and kicked at a patch of grass. “I have more regrets in my life than a man should have.”
“Don’t let regretting your regrets be another one.”
He scratched his head. “Huh? I don’t always understand your bumper-sticker speak.”
She chuckled. “I just mean, the good thing about regrets is recognizing them and trying to fix things. I know you like making things right. It’s a nice quality about you.”
He frowned. “Not everything can be fixed.”
“I know.” She was about to ask him which regrets he’d like to make right when his radio crackled. “Chief, we’ve got a problem over by the porta-potties.”
“Of course we do.” Tommy pressed the button on his radio. “Be right there.” He set his hand on Tonya’s shoulder. It was warm, and she could imagine it sliding down to a more proper place, like her waist or her hip. “If it makes you feel better, it’s going to be a long six weeks for all of us. Take care of yourself. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He squeezed her shoulder and walked off. Tonya leaned against the tree.
She stood there for a while, reliving some of her favorite moments with Tommy—the picnics at Lookout Point, the make-out sessions at Lookout Point. Just as she was really getting into the memories, she saw Vinny approach. Her heart fell.
Vinny crossed his arms and gave her a look. “You should’ve warned me you were going to be this difficult. I thought you wanted to do this.”
“Doesn’t every reality show have a difficult personality? I figured that’s why you picked me.”
“We liked your spunky attitude. Now you’re just back here moping. Do I need to set up a date for you this week?”
“No, I’m strategizing and playing hard to get.” She pushed off the tree and trudged back towards the party.
Marge was entertaining a circle of seniors from the residential facility—all male. When Kate’s stepfather, George, walked by, Marge wriggled out of the group and hurried after him. Tonya was certain she saw him slip behind a tree, too.
Marisa was playing
Frisbee in a bikini top and cut-off shorts, her ‘Contestant’ shirt lay on the ground. The McClacken twins had also taken theirs off and were arm wrestling at a picnic table surrounded by a crowd of girls cheering them on. People watching the show would think folks in the South never wore shirts.
She could tell where the contestants from Hollywood were; stuck in the middle of swarms of fans. The surge of people must have come from nearby towns. Willowdale didn’t have this many residents.
As soon as Vinny started directing the crews over to Tara O’Hara, who was making out with some guy in the bushes, Tonya dashed back to her apartment for a nap. She had to do this all over again tonight during a mixer at The Hideaway. If she had the energy to make a “dumbest decisions ever” list, joining this show would be right at the top. Instead, she fell asleep.
***
The Hideaway and had a line out the door, but they pulled back the velvet rope for Tonya. A velvet rope at The Hideaway—the world is upside down indeed, Tonya thought.
She stepped inside, relieved to see the place wasn’t wall-to-wall people—Tommy was very serious about fire codes. She spotted Kate and Teague in the corner talking to Jeanne and Brad. A while back she’d made a bumper sticker that said “Official 3rd Wheel,” suitable for spare tires and spare friends, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed the role.
She walked over and Kate and Jeanne hugged her.
“You look great!” Jeanne said.
“They’re dressing me. And doing my hair and makeup,” Tonya told her. “Having fun with the show?” Kate asked.
Tonya frowned. “Like I said, they’re dressing me and doing my hair and makeup.”
“Some gals would like that.” Jeanne tipped back a beer. “I’m wearing nothing but ponytails these days, I’m so busy catering for the show.”
“You’re not missing anything. So far, my makeovers have been a bust,” Tonya said.
Teague set his hand on her shoulder. “Relax. We’ve got a lot of great stuff planned.”
“Any chance I can get voted off?” Tonya stood under the gaze of a giant deer the crew had mounted on the wall. She could swear the damn thing was smirking at her.
Teague laughed. “That’s not one of our gimmicks. All the contestants are part of the show until the bitter end.”