by Scott, Lisa
“Not yet,” Michael said. “There’s one more coming in today.”
Tonya’s throat tightened. Was this her mystery blast from the past showing up?
A woman Tonya had never seen before walked into the salon. She was in her mid-forties and pretty, with dark curly hair.
Hair like Tonya’s. Tonya felt her insides collapsing, like she was a building falling down on itself. As if she were made of dust instead of the strong steel that she’d always imagined lined her insides.
The woman spread her arms wide. “Baby, it’s Mama!” She ran toward Tonya, but Tonya backed up and held a brush in front of her like a weapon. “Stop right there.”
The woman halted. “Honey, can’t you see I’m your mama?”
Tonya dropped into a chair. “I wouldn’t know. You left me with Nonna when I was born.” Her stomach churned. Her mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. She looked up at the woman again to be sure this was really happening. “How did they find you?”
Her mother shrugged. “It wasn’t easy. But the important thing is, I’m here.”
Tonya pressed her hands over her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t want you here.” Despite her anger, her voice was weak.
“Look at me, I’m begging you for just a moment.” Her mama clenched her hands in front of her.
Tonya opened her eyes. “Get on with it then.”
Her mama jutted out her hip and smiled. “I’m supposed to give you my advice on love.”
Gritting her teeth, Tonya narrowed her eyes. “I doubt you know anything about love. You’re probably missing the proper gene.”
The woman chuckled. “You might be right on that. All right, then I’m supposed to give you some sort of advice, so I’ll give you my thoughts on men.”
Tonya could barely breathe. She pictured this day, but she never dreamed it would happen. And certainly not like this. There was supposed to be much more screaming and swearing on Tonya’s part. The only reason she ever thought about seeing her mother was to tell her off in spectacular fashion. She certainly never envisioned chatting about guys.
Tonya walked over to the door. She held it open. “I don’t care what you have to say about men. You can leave. You’re good at that.”
Shaking her finger, her mother raised her voice. “All these years and you’re going to kick me out? We might never see each other again. Don’t you have any questions for me?”
Like, why did you leave me? Do you miss me? Do you ever think about me? “No.”
Her mother sighed. “I see what’s happening. You need to get used to the idea of me being here. I’ll give you some time, and we can talk later. I’m at the Be Wright Inn. I’ll see you tomorrow, darling, and we’ll have a nice, calm discussion.” She walked out of the salon, and Tonya slammed the door behind her.
Tonya turned to the crew and growled, “Who did this?”
Michael looked pale. “We told you all you’d be seeing someone from your past.”
“She’s not from my past. I don’t know her at all.”
“Just talk to her once more. Hear her advice, then she’ll be on her way,” Michael said.
Tonya crossed her arms. “Fine. She’ll say her peace and then she’ll go?”
“Yes,” Michael said. “Tomorrow morning, okay?”
Tonya nibbled on her thumb, a habit she’d thought she’d broken years ago, and nodded. She handed the crew her microphone, dashed out the door, and started walking. She wasn’t sure where she was headed. She walked until Main Street turned to a county road. She walked until a police siren chirped behind her.
Tonya turned to look and her shoulders sagged. It was Tommy.
He hopped out of the cruiser and ran up to her. “What are you doing out here? I doubt you’ve taken up hiking. Not in that outfit.”
She looked down at her denim mini-skirt and hot pink tank top. She was also wearing high wedge sandals. She’d gotten used to these ridiculous clothes. Tonya struggled to swallow and dug her fingernails into her palms so she wouldn’t cry. “My mother came to town.”
Tommy’s eyes went wide. “No shit.” He reached out for her arm, but she yanked it back.
“It’s all shit. She’s nothing to me, and the damn show brought her in to give me love advice.” She crossed her arms and bit her knuckle.
“The producers brought her in?” he asked.
She nodded. “Every contestant is meeting with someone from their past who’s going to give them advice on how they’re doing in the show so far and what they should do next. I never thought it would be her.”
“Who’d you think it would be?” he asked.
“You, maybe.” She dropped her hand.
He stepped closer. She could feel his body heat, smell the aftershave she knew so well. She took a step back.
“I wish they would’ve asked me,” he said.
“Oh yeah? What would you have told me?”
He looked off towards the horizon and squinted. A few cars zoomed by before he answered. “I would tell you to follow your heart.”
Tonya let go of the breath she’d been holding and chuckled.
“Cliché, I know,” he said. “I don’t have a way with words like you do with your bumper stickers.”
“No, it’s just that’s what Josh’s grandmother told him, too. I guess that’s what people say when they don’t really want to tell you what they’re thinking.”
He sighed, reaching out to twine a piece of her hair around his finger. “Fine. You want to know what I’d really say?”
Her heart quickened, wondering what he was thinking, why he was fiddling with her hair. “What?”
“I’d tell you I want another chance with you.”
Her heart dropped for a moment, and a warm feeling spread through her. He wanted her?
But, why now?
Her jaw tightened and her heart moved back into place. She could picture a lock fastening it closed. Why didn’t he tell her this a few weeks ago when they were still hooking up? She balled up her fists. He’d had plenty of chances to tell her he wanted her back.
She pulled away from him so her hair slipped from his grasp. “We spent months having secret sex, it’s not until you see me with someone else that you decide you want to be a couple again? Why would you wait to tell me this?” She glared at him.
His hopeful smile disappeared and his eyebrows scrunched together. “Tonya…”Shaking her head, she looked away. She couldn’t meet his eyes or she’d break into pieces. “You don’t want me. You just can’t stand to see me with someone else. That’s not a reason to get back together.”
Tommy crossed his arms. “No. That’s not true. I want you, Tonya.”
“If you’ve only realized that now, then you’ve screwed things up again. It’s too late to be telling me this. If you valued me, if you valued what we had, you should have told me this sooner.” She was shouting.
He held up his hands. “Calm down.”
“I don’t want to,” she hollered.
He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. “I wanted to tell you weeks ago. Before I moved in with Ellen. But it seemed like bad timing.”
“Well, you should have. And you should have told me not to do the show.”
“Oh sure. That would’ve gone over well, telling you what to do.”
“You should have said something! Anything!”
It was a while before he spoke again. “Just be careful. Teague settling down here and calling it home is one thing. I can’t imagine another Hollywood big shot doing the same. What kind of future would you have with him?” “That’s hardly something I need to decide right now. And it sure as heck doesn’t seem like there’s much of a future for me here anyway, unless I want to be the town spinster. Maybe I’d go back to California with him.” She tipped up her chin.
They looked at each other for a moment. “Tonya, no…”
“I’m glad I ran into you. You made me angry enough that I feel properly riled up to face my mama.”
He
pursed his lips and said nothing. She marched off.
“Want a ride?” he called after her.
“Not from you.” Her cheeks were hot with anger. For all Tommy knew, she really was in love with Josh. And now he was selfishly trying to bust that up. Tommy didn’t love her. Not anymore. That was a cruel thing, telling her he wanted her back only because he believed she was with someone else. And if she did dump Josh for him, how soon before Tommy changed his mind, or called out Ellen’s name while they were in bed?She stalked along the street through the small downtown, her feet killing her in the high wedge-heeled shoes, until she came to the Be Wright Inn. She went into the lobby where Faye Jenkins was watching her soaps.
Faye frowned when she saw her. A few years back, her bum son, Leroy, had dated Tonya, Kate, and Jeanne all at the same time, unbeknownst to each of them. Once they found out, they had a little fun at his expense, taking out an ad promising people that handyman Leroy would provide free doghouses for anyone who wanted one. They thought this was pretty funny, since he was in the doghouse with all of them. Faye hadn’t found the humor in it. And apparently from the look on her face, four years later she still didn’t.
“Can you tell me what room Mariana Garcia is in?”
“Your mama is in room eleven.” Faye’s gaze went to the TV.
“She’s not my mama. Not beyond giving birth to me.” Tonya strode out the door, went down the hall, and banged on room number eleven.
Her mama didn’t answer, so Tonya banged again. Finally, the door opened and Mariana stood there in a silk robe, hair tied up in a messy bun.
“Can I come in?” Tonya asked, aware of the snippy tone in her voice.
“Sure thing.” Her mama stepped back, and Tonya walked in. “Have a seat,” Mama said, gesturing to three cheap chairs circled around a table.
“This won’t take long enough to bother sitting.” Tonya raised a finger. “For so long I hated you and what you did. But you know what? Life with Nonna was far better than it would have ever been with you.”
Her mama sat on the bed. She snatched a pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and lit one. “You’re right. Which is exactly why I left you there. I was too young, too self-centered to take proper care of you. And when my sister found out she was pregnant too, we hatched our plan to head to Vegas and forget we ever had babies.”
Tonya gasped. It’s what she always suspected, but to hear it delivered so coldly? Her heart couldn’t take much more battering today. Not from Tommy, not from her mama.
Her mama took a long puff of her cigarette and blew out a blue-gray plume between them. “For a while it worked, leaving our babies behind, living the life. But not for long. I couldn’t forget about you. But Nonna wouldn’t give you back.”
Tonya backed up against the wall, shaking her head. The smoke was making her choke. She couldn’t breathe. “That’s not true.” Nonna would never keep her from her mama.
Her mother pointed the cigarette at her. “It is. And she was right. She knew you and your cousin Inez were better off living with her. And I hated her so much for it I never talked to her again. Never stopped by. Never checked on you. And then I did my best to forget you.”
Tonya crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’ve got letters in my suitcase if you want to see for yourself. Letters I wrote you that she sent back to me.” She slid off the bed and popped open her suitcase with her free hand. She grabbed a bunch of letters and held them up. “Want to read them?”
“No.” Tonya looked down, shaking her head.
Her mama dropped them back into the suitcase.
“So why agree to come see me now?” Tonya asked.
“I said no at first. But that Vinny guy? He kept asking and asking. Offered me money, too, and when it came down to it, I needed the cash.” She shrugged. “Sorry.”
“At least you’re honest.”
“And let me tell you what I think about that man of yours. That’s why they brought me here, after all.”
Tonya rolled her eyes.
Her mama walked toward her. She stopped directly in front of Tonya. Then she reached out and grabbed her hand. Tonya didn’t have the energy to pull away. “He’s wonderful. You need to marry him.”
Tonya’s jaw dropped. “I barely know him. I don’t love him.”
“But couldn’t you? For all that money?” her mama asked. “People get married for worse reasons than that.”
Tonya closed her eyes and shook her head. She was grateful the cameras weren’t there. “I don’t know why I joined this dumb show. My heart was hurting over someone else, I thought this would be a good distraction.”
“Love never lasts, Tonya. So stop hoping for it. Josh is a good catch. You should hang on to him. If you get married and it doesn’t work out, you’ll be well taken care of.”
Tonya smiled. “That would be great.” Then her smile fell. “For you. I want something different.”
“What do you want?” her mama asked.
Tommy. But she chased that idea out of her head. It could never work. Not now. She could never trust his intentions were true. “I’m not sure.”
“You’re supposed to take my advice. And I’m telling you, hang on to that man.”
Tonya nodded. According to the rules, she had to follow the advice given by her special visitor. Luckily, that was her plan, to stay with Josh till the bitter end. “Advice received. Now when are you leaving?”
Her mama shrugged. “I like it here. I think I’m going to stay awhile, get a feel for the place my daughter calls home. Maybe you could even do my hair.”
Tonya was speechless for a few moments. “I-I don’t know if I can just let you in my life, Mama. It’s been thirty-two years. Seems like this is something you should’ve done a long time ago. You’re only here because of the show.”
“But I’m here. And that’s what counts.”
Tonya was done listening to people mess with her heart. “I’ve got to go.” She ran back to her salon as fast as she could in her darn shoes. Slamming the door, she sank into a chair and bit a finger, willing herself not to cry. Her mother didn’t deserve any tears.
There was a knock on the door. Tonya looked up and saw Josh waiting for her outside, with no sign of the video crew.
She let him in. “Hope your day was better than mine.” He hugged her. “I heard your mom was here.”
Nodding, she led him up to her apartment and sat on the couch. “What a day.” Chewie curled up by her feet, peering at Tonya with worried eyes. Tonya scratched her pooch’s head.
Josh sat next to her, taking up half the sofa as he stretched out his long limbs. “Me, too. But let me hear yours first.”
Tonya told him about her mother and then about Tommy. “Two people in the same day showing up too late to tell me they want another chance.”
“Don’t you have any bumper stickers about second chances?” Josh asked.
“No, because I don’t give any.”
“You don’t think you could build a relationship with her now? Do you want to?”
Tonya dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t even know.”
He rubbed her back. “That’s a lot to deal with today. You don’t need to make any decisions right now. So what did you mother tell you to do about me?”
“She told me to marry you, because hey, if it didn’t work out, at least I’d be taken care of monetarily. Want a wife?” She expected him to laugh, but he didn’t.
“Not so much. I came out to my grandmother.”
Tonya covered her mouth, and her eyes widened. “What did she say?”
He turned up his hands. “She knew. But she was glad I told her. She regretted that we hadn’t had the discussion a long time ago. So you’re not the only one with past regrets coming to the surface today. It’s better late than never, wouldn’t you say?”
She wasn’t so sure about that. “Are you going to come out to the public?”
“My manager says tha
t’s up to me.”
“What does that mean for us on the show?” Tonya asked.
“We need to talk to Vinny,” Josh said.
Chapter 13
Tommy entered Ellen’s house, feeling more beat than he had in years. How did he manage to screw things up so badly when he was trying to make everything right? Why did that happen to him again and again? Was he cursed like the damn willow trees in town? He never dreamed that telling Tonya he still cared for her would set her off like it did.
Jane was sitting on the couch reading a book. Seeing her smiling face had him counting to ten to cool off. He couldn’t burden her with his bad mood. “How’s my girl today?” he asked, sitting next to her. He kissed her cheek.
“Great! Mommy took me to the doctor today and he says my cast will come off in three weeks.”
“Wow, see? I told you that would go quick.”
“I know! And it wasn’t bad at all because you were here and Grandma, too. Plus, now we’re going to have a new bathroom. I wish it didn’t have to end. Not the cast part, but you and Grandma staying here. I know Grandma has to go back to Charlotte, but couldn’t you stay here with us always?” She chewed on her lip, waiting for his answer with hope in her eyes.
His heart sank. “Honey, your mom and I aren’t together anymore.”
“But you’ve been together for the last few weeks, and everyone’s been getting along great.” She took a deep breath and he could hear her a sob coming on. “I don’t like when you’re not here.” She sniffed and her breath shuddered.
Tommy put his arm around her. How could he explain that loving her wasn’t reason enough to patch things up with her mother?
Or was he just being selfish? Was loving Jane the most important reason of all?
“Your mom and I don’t love each other that way anymore.”
“But you could try, couldn’t you? You always tell me I can do anything I want if I try hard enough.”
Tommy sighed. Sure enough, he’d told her that many times. “Maybe I can join you guys for dinner a few times each month. I’ll ask your mom if I can see you more often.”
She shook her head, sending her long blond hair flying. “It’s not the same as you being here all the time. Please just think about it, Daddy. I’ll listen. I won’t cause trouble. I’ll clean my room without being asked. You don’t have to take me for ice cream every night. I just want you to be here with me.” Her big eyes glistened with tears.