by Annie Jocoby
Yet, I felt that there was only he and I there on the rink.
I half expected some other ghost from Christmas past to pop up and say “boo” to Ryan. But, fortunately, that didn’t happen. He did, however, see some friends and colleagues. He brought me over to meet one of them.
“This is Nate. He is an old buddy of mine from Harvard.” Nate was tall, like Ryan, with black curly hair and blue eyes. He was meltingly handsome.
I took a deep breath, and held out my hand. He hugged me. “Ryan’s told me so much about you. I’m so glad to finally meet you.”
Ryan was grinning. Looking at me, he said “we e-mail a lot.”
“I see.” I was at a loss for words. It took me awhile to get comfortable with Ryan, because I felt so inferior to him. Now I was facing another gorgeous Harvard man. I felt that he was sizing me up, and finding me lacking.
However, if he did find me lacking, he didn’t show it.
“Ryan tells me that you are an attorney.”
“Guilty as charged.”
He laughed. “Do you like it?”
“It has its moments.” Which was true. Unfortunately, those moments were few and far between. “What do you do?”
“I’m an international man of mystery.”
Ryan motioned to him with his thumb, mouthing the words “trust fund baby.”
I looked at him. You should talk.
Nate said “No, seriously, I’m an investment banker at Goldman Sachs. I’m in town for the holidays. Imagine my surprise to run into this clown.”
To which Ryan said “ha, ha.”
Just then, a woman skated up to Nate. She had dark hair, hazel eyes, a perfect face and body. Large breasts, long, thin legs. No makeup, and didn’t need any.
“Iris, this is my wife, Natalie. Natalie, this is Iris.”
She looked at me, her eyes getting wide. “The Iris? Ryan has told us so much about you!”
She seemed sweet. I just stupidly said “Nate and Natalie. That’s cute.” That was all I managed.
I wanted to get out of there, pronto. I was once again reminded of how I would never, ever fit into his world.
Ryan explained “Natalie went to Harvard with us, too. Nate and Natalie got married right out of college, and they’re still like newlyweds.”
Natalie grabbed my hand. “Come over here with me, and let’s let the boys talk and catch up. They haven’t seen each other in years.”
Holding her hand, we skated over to the concession stand. “Can I buy you something to drink?” Natalie asked.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I have my own money.”
“Please, I insist. What would you like?”
What was it with these people never letting me pay for anything? I figured that I had the word “broke” stamped on my forehead.
“Uh, I, uh.”
She turned to the concession boy. “Two hot cocoas, please.”
This was actually a good choice. I love hot cocoa.
“Uh, thanks for the hot cocoa.”
“Not a prob.”
We sat down at one of the very few free tables, and sipped our cocoa.
“So, uh, what did you hear about me?” I asked her.
“Only good things. You really have that boy whipped like I’ve never known him.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, you do.” She sighed. “I always had a mad crush on him, but he was always with Alexis. Well, not always. I mean, they were on and off all the time. But he was always crazy about her, even when they were off.”
“Alexis is still around.”
“Yeah, but she cheated. That’s one thing Ryan will never forgive.” She looked at me. “Got that? From what I hear, Ryan is wrapped around your little finger. Don’t tell him I told you that, though. But you cheat, even one time…” She took her finger and sliced it across her neck. “Anyhow, I loved Ryan all through college. But I ended up marrying one of his best friends.”
“Nate is very handsome.”
“Yes, he is. And nice, too. But there was always something about Ryan. I mean, he’s jaw-droppingly beautiful, of course. But there is such a, a, um…vulnerability, I guess, is the right word. It’s like he has no idea how gorgeous he is, and how much people are drawn to him. He’s very humble, you know.”
I figured that she didn’t know where Ryan’s vulnerability stemmed from. I wasn’t about to tell her, either.
“Nate isn’t vulnerable?”
“Nah, he’s a banker with Goldman Sachs. You pretty much have to be a ball-breaker all the time to do that job well.”
“And, what do you do?”
She laughed. “I’m also a banker at Goldman Sachs.”
I laughed along with her. So, you’re telling me that you are a ball-breaker as well?
I asked “So, how do you like Kansas City?”
“Love it. We come here every year, because Nate has family in town. It is refreshing to be in a smaller city like this. People are friendlier here, and this town has really come a long way with the new additions to downtown and all.” She smiled, her teeth perfect.
I started to realize that I was relaxing around her. Maybe I was getting used to wealthy, beautiful people. Nah, it was just that the particular wealthy, beautiful people that I was coming to know were also very relatable and down-to-earth. Natalie seemed to be a real sweetheart.
“Do you guys have any kids?” I asked.
“Heavens, no. We don’t have time to make the kids, if you know what I mean, so we really wouldn’t have time to care for them.”
I had to smile at that one. I just met this woman, and she was already confiding in me about her non-existent sex life.
“How do you like New York?”
“It’s hectic, busy, always on the go. You can get anything at anytime, unlike here. We’re lucky, because we can afford a nice apartment on the Upper West Side. When we first moved there, though, we pretty much lived in a sardine can.”
“Oh. I guess Ryan was joking about the trust fund baby thing?”
“No, Nate is a trust fund baby. But he wanted to see if he could make it on his own. Ryan is trust fund baby, too, you know.”
I figured as much. He did have a very good job, but I didn’t imagine that his job would allow him to buy wineries and private planes. I remembered what Alexis had told me, too, about how Ryan’s father bought his silence.
I wondered what the price was for that.
As if on cue, Natalie inadvertently answered that question for me, saying “I always wondered why Ryan didn’t keep up with his art. He would never be a starving artist. I mean, he has a $100 million trust fund. He could just be an artist his whole life, and never worry about paying the bills. Instead he’s a bank president. Go figure.”
What? $100 million dollars. What?????
I perked up about something else. “Uh, Ryan is an artist?”
“An amazing artist. I mean, absolutely amazing.” She narrowed her eyes. “He never showed you his work?”
I thought about the paintings in the attic. Well, he has never showed me his work, but I have seen his work. “No.”
“Hmmmm, I wonder why.” She shrugged. “Well, maybe he’s embarrassed. And, uh, in college he might’ve been a better artist than he is now. Drugs can make you pretty creative.” Then she looked horrified. “Oh, shit, I…” she began, opening her mouth wide, and putting her hand over her mouth. Her eyes got enormous, and she looked genuinely mortified. I saw her visibly shake a little.
“Don’t worry, I know about the drugs.”
“Oh, thank god. Oops!” She visibly let a breath out, drooping her head.
I nodded my head. “Well, uh, please don’t tell Nate or Ryan this. But I came across some of his artwork, I think, in the attic.”
Natalie had regained her composure. “Typical. Ryan’s very modest. I guess he’s hiding this part of himself from you. Don’t worry, he’ll come clean about it.”
“What’s Cork?”
“Cork is Ryan’
s boyhood home. Named after the County of Cork in Ireland. That’s where the Gallaghers originated. Guess that Benjamin was crazy about his wife at one time, huh?”
My eyes got wide about that. I remembered seeing the painting of that magnificent palace on the lake. I didn’t think that Kansas City had such splendor.
She looked at me. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, I saw some paintings of this palace, and the back of the painting said ‘Cork, 1994.’”
“That would be the year that Ryan left that hell hole.”
Oh, so she does know something.
I got an idea. “And what about Maggie? Ryan talks about her, but I’ve never met her.”
She made a face. “Oh, uh, I don’t know about that.” She looked around, nervously. Then, she leaned into me a bit, like she was going to confide in me about something.
At which time, the boys appeared at our table.
Drats, foiled again!
“Hey, you two!” Ryan said. “What’s going on?”
“Just a little girl talk, you know.” Natalie looked at Ryan, and smiled at me. She got up, and whispered loudly, “charming girl. I can see why you’re crazy about her.”
I felt a little dumbfounded. First Alexis, now Natalie. How was I charming these beautiful women?
He smiled back at Natalie. “Yes, she is. She certainly is.”
He grabbed my hand. “Come on, love. Nate and I would like to treat you and Nat to some well-deserved chow.”
We headed over to Ryan’s Escalade, and the four of us piled in. The boys were up front, and Natalie and I were in the back. Natalie grabbed my hand and held it the whole way. She certainly is touchy-feely.
Not that I minded.
Ryan said “Let’s go and see what’s happening at the Power and Light, and I can drive you back to your car after dinner.”
We ended up at a crowded restaurant in the Power and Light District. This was the District to which Natalie referred when she talked about the improvements in the city over the years. Downtown used to be a desolate, lonely place. That is, until the Power and Light District came into town, along with the downtown arena and the gorgeous performing arts center, just down the way.
The line at this particular restaurant was an hour and a half, so we decided to get some drinks at the bar while we waited to be seated.
Nate brought two scotches, for himself and Ryan, a dirty martini for me, and a pina colada for Natalie.
“Natalie likes the frou frou,” Nate teased.
“Yeah, yeah, what of it?” Natalie teased back.
Nate came around and put his arm around me. “So, I finally get a chance to talk to you. How’re you doing?”
“Great.”
“Yeah. Ryan is doing great, too. You’ve made him one happy guy.”
“He, uh, wasn’t happy before?”
“Oh, hell no. He pretty much went off the deep end after Alexis and Paul. And Mia, of course.” He looked sad, pensively looking at his scotch. Then he looked up. “But you seemed to have brought him back to life.”
I nodded.
“You seem like a solid sort. I think that Ryan made a pretty good choice, from what I hear.”
“I hope so.”
“You don’t sound so sure.”
I felt embarrassed. Would I ever stop being insecure?
Nate cleared his throat. “Listen, I, uh, think that you feel like maybe you don’t deserve a guy like Ryan.”
He could tell that just by talking to me for five minutes? I must be completely transparent.
I didn’t say anything.
He went on. “Well, whatever you’re thinking, stop thinking it. Personally, don’t tell him I told you this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Santa brings you something extra special. Like, you know, an engagement ring.”
My eyes popped out. “Why do you say that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s because I’ve never in my life seen him this way. Ever. Not even with Alexis.”
“Well, you, uh, just saw him this evening. You haven’t really been around him recently.”
“Sure, but, you know, we e-mail all the time. Ryan tells me everything. I was his second-best friend in college, besides Nick.” He looked around. “Again, don’t tell him I told you. It’s just a hunch, anyhow.” He nodded his head meaningfully.
“Oh, I won’t say anything, but, uh, Ryan would pop the question without my meeting his mother?”
He made a face and frowned. “Oh, right. His mother. Well, I’m sure that you will meet her soon enough.”
I started to think that the mother was like the crazy lady in the attic in Jane Eyre. But, I saw Ryan looking at us while he talked to Natalie, so I decided not to press it.
“So, how did you meet Ryan in college?”
“We lived in the same building, so we started running around together, and Nick usually was around as well. Ryan is a great guy, just a really solid guy. You’re a lucky girl.”
I smiled inwardly, wondering if Nate and Ryan were like Nick and Ryan. Stop thinking that.
“I haven’t met Nick.”
“Well, I’m quite sure that you will, sooner or later. Nick will no doubt be Ryan’s best man again.” Then he looked at me. “I guess you’re ok with their relationship, huh?”
I felt embarrassed. “Yes, yes, of course.” I don’t know why, but I assumed that Nate didn’t know about that. Then again, maybe it was always an open secret.
“That’s good. None of his friends ever really cared about that. Yeah, so they’re two dudes who are into each other. Big whoop.” Then he smiled. “But let me tell ya, the ladies all wanted to get involved when they found out about them. Two hot guys like that – I’d imagine that would be a fulfillment of every girl’s fantasy.”
“Did they fulfill many fantasies?”
“No, just Alexis’s.”
I changed the subject. “Why do you think he wants to be married to me? We haven’t known each other that long, Ryan and me. I don’t think that he’s ready to get married just yet.”
Nate took a swig of his scotch. “You’re living with him?”
“Yes.”
“And how long did it take for him to ask you to live with him?”
“Well, a few months, but-“
“But, nothing. That boy wanted you to move in the first weekend you guys met. He saw an opening when you got booted from your apartment and pounced on it.”
I was still having a hard time coming to grips with all of this. “But why?”
“Love at first sight. It happens, you know.”
“Like Tony and Maria?”
“Like Oliver and Jenny. At any rate, I see wedding bells in your near future.”
I felt excited and nervous at the prospect. I was 33 years old, and have never been close to getting married to anybody. Now, somehow, I was close to marrying this sweet Adonis.
Go figure.
“Yeah, and Ryan tells me that you are still referring to your guys’ house as ‘his house?’”
“Well, yeah, it is his house.”
Nate shook his head. “No, it’s both of yours house.”
“No, actually, it is his house. I just live there.”
He looked at me quizzically. “Now, I wonder why he didn’t tell you….”
“Tell me what?” These people were ratting out Ryan right and left.
“That he had your name put on the house deed. Don’t worry, he owns it free and clear, so you’re not on the hook for any mortgage or anything.”
Shit. I was now half owner of a multi-million dollar house? I thought about my student loans, which were astronomical. And the IRS, which already had a lien on my bank account, and probably now has a lien on Ryan’s home.
Why didn’t he ask me first?
I just looked dumbfounded. Nate continued on. “Well, maybe that was supposed to be part of your Christmas present. So, don’t tell him that you know.”
I started to open my mouth to tell Nate about the student l
oans, but Ryan came over and put his arm around Nate. “Whatchyou guys talking about over here?”
“Nothing, bro. Just chit-chatting. What are you and Nat talking about? The usual, about how much she is in love with you?” Nate was only half-teasing. He no doubt knew that he was second choice.
I wondered if that bothered him.
“Nah, Nat is like a sister to me, you know that.”
“Some sister. Unless you habitually bang your sisters, I don’t think that analogy is quite appropriate.”
I made a face. Ryan looked sheepish. “It was when Alexis and I were broken up. One of the many times,” he said to me. He turned to Nate. “Why do you have to keep bringing that up?”
“Just busting your chops. Just busting your chops.” Nate chuckled. “Ancient history.”
Somehow I had the feeling that it wasn’t ancient history, at least not in Nate’s mind, but I didn’t say anything. I suddenly felt that I was being pulled into a vortex of dysfunction, once again.
Natalie came up to me, and put her arm around me. She played with my hair a little. “You’re such a cutie,” she said. I think she was getting a little buzzed, even though she just had one pina colada. That I knew of.
I smiled. She was the hottest woman in the place by a mile. Stop feeling inferior and take the goddamned compliment. “Thanks.”
Finally, our buzzer was going off. We all got seated, and opened our menus.
Nate looked at Ryan. “So, when are you going to move to New York, buddy? That’s where it’s at. I can get you a job at Goldman, no problem.”
Ryan looked at me. “Uh, I am staying here, in town. Iris’ family is here, so….”
“Oh, right. Okay, then. Well, you can always visit, which you haven’t done.”
“I know, I know. We’d love to come out sometime. Right, Iris?”