by Kyanna Skye
If she asked again, it would make her look like a child throwing a tantrum. If she went along with him, she'd end going back on her promise not to have sex with him until he told her the truth. Right then that was the only piece of leverage she had and she was going to make the best of it.
When they hit the sand, he grabbed her picked her up and started running.
“Let me down!” He did.
“Come on, Lana.”
“I have to put on some sunscreen first.” She slowly undid her pants and then her zipper to reveal the top of her bikini bottoms. Then she started working on her shirt, letting it slide over her stomach before she threw it to the side.
As she pulled down her pants, he stepped in, rubbing his gigantic bulge, but she stopped him. “I told you no, and no means no.”
“Fine.”
She kept on going, ripped her skin-tight pants down over her ankles, then she threw them aside to reveal a bright red bikini and exposed skin already scorching in the sunlight. She reached down into her pants while he lay in the sand, stroking himself.
She started rubbing the lotion over her feet, and caressed her ankles. Then she moved up to her calves and decided to bend over in front of him so she could get to her thighs. As soon as she did, he slapped her butt so hard she squealed.
“You asked for it.”
She turned around, kicked sand in his face, and started running for the water. She wanted to feel what it would be like to get caught in the tide, just like when Tony took her. God, she couldn't deny it: she wanted him so bad.
She turned back to the beach to look for him and he was standing right behind her, butt-naked. He pressed his hand against her neck to push her into his kiss and she let him. She let him move himself over her thighs, she even let him undo the top strap of her bikini, but when her breasts fell out and she realized that he could take down any barrier he wanted, but he would never let her in, she pulled back.
“Still? Why are you still on this?”
“I can't give it up.”
“Have you at least tried?”
“Why should I have to? What's so important about it? It's not like it's got anything to do with the family. It's something personal, and that's bothering me. What's bothering me the most, though, is the fact that you can do whatever you want, but I have limits. I have to follow along. You can take down my barriers, but I can't take down yours. Don't you care about how that feels?”
“I think that you're taking one small thing and projecting all of your neuroses at it, and it's causing you trouble. Have fun. Be with me.”
“No, Tony. This isn't like that.” Her cheeks were red with rage. “This is important and I need you to understand that. If you can't take me seriously, then things won't work out. I'm a nurse, I sew people up for a living. I'm not a drama queen.”
“I never said you were.”
“You're acting like it.”
“Ah, screw this.” He turned around and pointed up another set of steps. “The beach house is up there.” He walked down that way and left her there to pout in the sand.
He wasn't taking her seriously. Maybe he thought she was something pretty to put his dick into. That could easily be the case. The man had probably been with thousands of women. There was no reason for him to choose her, and who keeps a secret like that from somebody they really care about?
Tony did.
And she knew that he really cared about her. He wasn't the kind of man to stick around for theatrics. If he didn't care, he would've run away by then. She wasn't just a doll for him to carry around. He did respect her, or else he wouldn't have shown her the grow-op, or the tunnels under his house. He was letting her in and she couldn't get enough. She had to know everything about him, and her insatiable desire for information was going to destroy their relationship.
She was being a baby. Everyone has something that they'd never tell anyone. She had secrets like that too, and he wasn't throwing a hissy fit trying to figure out every one of them. She was being unfair to him—ruining a day that they could've spent bonding as a couple. She didn't have any right to deprive him of that. He commanded the best and he would have it.
Lana didn't bother to put her clothes on; they were covered in sand, so she brushed them off and carried them confidently back up the steps. He won, just like he said he would, but for a good reason: there never should've been a fight in the first place, and when she finally got to the top of the steps, it would be over. She'd give in, and they'd have their day.
She was excited, and couldn't help but run, careful not to slip off the edge. When she got to the top, he was sitting on the steps with his head down. He had been moping the whole time, just like her.
“I'm sorry.” She ran up to him. “I'll give it up. You won't hear another word about it again, I promise.”
“It's okay.” He pulled her in and kissed her like only a scorned lover could. He wanted her then and there. She could feel it pressing up against her.
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.” She took his hand and followed him into the house where a buffet line had been setup in the large kitchen. There was carne asada, pollo asado, tortillas, and every accouterment possible, from salsas to pickled onions.
“Had it brought up for us before we left. I thought you might enjoy some tacos out on the patio. Some of it's kind of strange; authentic Mexican can be an acquired taste.”
“I'm from Arizona. It's all we eat.” She folded a tortilla and loaded her plate with steak and chicken, along with a healthy helping of guacamole and pico de gallo. On top, she placed a mixture of pickled jalapenos and pickled carrots.
“How's your Spanish?” he asked.
“What little I do know is medical stuff, the kind of thing you just say with an accent.”
“I'm fluent,” he declared.
“You are?”
“And in Mandarin, French, and German.”
“Mandarin?” She stuffed one of her corn tortillas with chicken and added carrot.
He replied with a short string of soft sounds mixed with harsh, tonal twangs.”
“No way. How do you do that? Where'd you learn?”
“I spent a year in China traveling. If you don't know it there, you're completely lost. Nobody speaks English, even in the bigger cities. It was terrible trying to learn it. Took me months to even form a coherent sentence correctly. The language is tonal. When you say something with a high, low, or mid-range pitch it means something different. After I got that down, though, it was easy to learn. Chinese is remarkably similar to English in sentence structure and phrasing.”
“That's the craziest thing I've ever seen, a mountainous intellectual.” She pecked him on the cheek and dug into her food.
“I'm not intellectual, really.” He pulled a beer out of the fridge and got her one. “Language is a different part of the brain. People good at languages hate math, physics, and all those things. That's me.” He gave her a look with his head cocked to the side.
He wanted something from her now. He was giving some of himself up and she was being asked to do the same. She dove in. “When I sixteen, there was this boy in school and as soon as he saw me, he followed me around and we talked about everything. We'd lay out in the dry river bed at night, looking out at the stars. It was only natural that our relationship developed and we graduated ready to face the world. He sold weed while I worked at a restaurant, and went to school. I watched him, night after night staying up, drinking and partying. The circles under his eye got bigger. He got fatter and his mood changed. He could barely hold a conversation without screaming.
“I watched the man I loved die, and with every moment I lost my love for him. It broke my heart, but he was too far gone for me to stay with him. Just a few days before I met you, I found him overdosed in the bathroom, so I called the police and the second they dragged him away, I burnt our trailer and that life to the ground”
He rested his hand on her shoulder. “I'm so sorry. I've seen people go like th
at, and it's worse than watching a man die.”
“It is.”
“And when you love them, watching them pass away... I love you, Lana.” She didn't even realize that she was crying until he hugged her and she felt her tears running down his naked shoulder. “I knew that something was wrong when I met you, but I didn't want to say anything. I figured it was pretty personal.”
“I was never going to tell you, or anyone about it. There are just some things that happen in life that you're so ashamed of you hate yourself for doing them. Staying with him all those years was like that for me. That's the kind of stuff you never tell anyone.”
He took a drink of his beer. “I'm different. If I don't believe in it, I'll never do it. Live like that, and you'll never have any regrets.”
“Look,” she pointed out the back door towards the water.” The sun was hovering over it, ready to sink into the water.
“You wanna watch the sunset with me?” Tony asked.
“Yeah, I do.” They walked out back and laid down on a white cushion while the sun's rays played over the ripples of water.
They lay out there, even after the indigo sky had turned to black, and watched the stars with Lana's head resting on his shoulder. She could've died happy with her eyes drooping, falling asleep to the sound of his breath and the waves crashing against the shore below.
“Do you love me?” he asked. She reached in to kiss Tony to reaffirm her love for him, but she couldn't find him. His voice was coming from directly in front of her, but when he reached out, there was nothing but mist. It was so thick that she couldn't even see her hand in front of her face. The mist had rolled in from the water. She could hear the water, and feel the sand under her feet, but she couldn't see him even though she could feel his presence all around her.
“Tony!”
The sound of her voice fell flat. It didn't carry.
“Tony!” Nothing came out, and she was starting to get breathless from screaming. Every breath she pulled in brought the mist with it. She could feel it filling her, making her lungs and throat scream. She was going to drown in this mist, and he was there. He was there somewhere, and she couldn't call out to him.
Then the horn sounded, cutting through the mist and she shot up. It was the sound of Tony's phone going off. He grabbed it.
“What's going on?” He listened for a moment then answered, “Get it taken care of.” He hung up and turned to Lana. “We've gotta go, now.”
“Why?” She stood up.
“There's no why or how come.” He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. “We're leaving, and there's no questions.”
He rushed out of the house and they nearly ran over what could only be described as a hood rat, with pulled-tight, black hair, a cursive tattoo on her neck, and an arsenal of rings on her hands.
“You son of a bitch!” She rushed at him with her bright-green nails held out like claws. He dodged her effortlessly and started to walk down the stairs. Before they managed to get down, the girl grabbed Lana's hair and nearly tore her scalp off.
“Ah!” She screamed.
“Okay.” Tony dropped her and with the full force of his gait, ran up to the girl. “You're a lying skank and I want you off my property right now.”
“What about our baby!?” She crouched down on the ground, bawling.
“What are you doing here?” His voice could move mountains.
“I'm out.” She got up and started running into the darkness.
Tony wasted no time in throwing Lana over his shoulder again and throwing her in the car.
“You got a girl pregnant and now you're trying to disown the child. I don't know what I'm doing here. You are the lowest life form on the planet. What would happen to me if I got pregnant?” She turned to him. He was leaning with his head sitting on top of the steering wheel, trying to catch his breath.
“Not one word. I can't handle this right now.” He threw the car into gear and started racing through the field, avoiding the road. Lana was staring at him, his teeth bared and the veins bulging out of his neck. He was breathing so fast, it scared her.
“What is going on, Tony?”
“I said no questions!” He turned towards her.
“Why are we avoiding the road?”
“What'd I just say?”
“I just found out that you dumped a woman you knocked up. I don't really care about your no question rule. I wanna know what's going on, because obviously, Tony, you're terrified.
“Stop!”
She ducked when she heard the crack, so powerful it nearly crushed her eardrums. Lana had never heard anything like it, but she knew what it was immediately. Somebody was shooting at them. Tony slammed on the gas, and flipped the car around so he could get behind the black SUV that shot at them.
“Stay down. Don't move.” He reached into the backseat and pulled out an assault rifle along with a thick, what must've been bulletproof, blanket. Everything was black. All she could hear was that crack, crack, crack, like the world itself was snapping open. Every single time she heard that sound, she felt certain that he was going to die. He wasn't wearing the blanket; she was the one that was protected. He was out in the open, and one of those bullets was going to hit him in the head.
It wasn't fair. He should've been protected too. If he wasn't, she wasn't going to be. She threw the blanket off and sat up. Then she stared him directly in the face and said, “Hand me a gun.”
“No!”
“I am not letting you do this alone.” She reached into the back seat for the gun case, and was thrown forward. Her head hit the dashboard and a stream of warm liquid fell down her face. She looked to her left to find him rushing out the driver's side, blasting an automatic.
He was going to die and she was going to be standing in front of his casket surrounded by all the men that kept this disgusting life going. She hated it!
The SUV turned around and started zooming past in the other direction. Tony took out his phone and called somebody. “No casualties. Just get them out of here.” He waited. “No. No. We're all safe. I don't want them alerted.”
“All right.” She jumped out of the car. “What is going on?” she demanded as she dashed up to him, inspecting him for any dark spots of blood.
“Do you care about me, Lana?” he said as he got in her face. “Huh, do you care?” He didn't wait for her to answer. “Don't you ever put yourself in danger.”
“I—”
“I won't let you get hurt.” He pulled her in as close as he could and held her tight. She was on fire, still blazing from the day before and the thrill of the gun battle they'd just gotten into, but she couldn't ignore what she just heard.
“Who is she?”
“Oh, no. You are not starting that crap. She was lying, Lana! I already told you that.”
“I think you took a bullet for that woman and whoever that demon was in the SUV shot you. I think you want to move on, because things went sour, and now she's pregnant and you don't want to deal with it, and I can't be with a man like that.” She walked around back to the passenger seat and got in.
“She's crazy, Lana.” He stood outside her window.
“That's what everyone says about their exes.”
“That's no—”
“She hurt you, it's bad blood, and you're right, Tony: it's none of my business.”
“I'll tell you everything that happened, and I should've done it in the first place.”
“I don't want you to say a single word to me. Now get in the car and take me straight home without getting me shot.”
“I'd risk my life for you.” He stared her down, and even though it killed her, she let him without giving him a single glimpse of remorse or sympathy. She turned cold and stared straight ahead while she felt his heart breaking.
He did what she said, and took her home without saying a word until he dropped her off in front of her house and said, “I love you.”
She got out without responding.
Lana's
whole body was on fire, screaming for something, anything to let out that one, fiery burst of anger that had been building up inside her all night. She was angry at Tony, she was angry at herself, she was angry at the world, and not one thing would make this right, because he was going to lie to her no matter what she did.
Oh, he'd make her feel good, and safe. He would make sure that everything was taken care of. If she stayed with him, she'd never have to hustle or fight to survive. She'd always have him, taking care of her, but he wouldn't be loyal. He'd be betraying her with his every word by lying straight to her face.
What kind of man abandons his own child before it's even born? That woman was furious. The look in her eyes when she saw him was enough to tell Lana that she was telling the truth. That woman, whoever she was, had been wronged by Tony and instead of taking responsibility the way any decent man would've, he’d left her to fend for herself.
He'd rather lie about her, betray her and leave her there, probably crying because she knew that there would be no way she could take care of her child alone. People don't talk about what it's like for single mothers. They're everywhere. People see them every day, but they don't talk about the fact that child care costs as much as a minimum wage monthly income, or how they don't get a second alone. Then there's the added cost of taking care of a child.
Even a woman with a degree, a good one, would have to struggle and give everything she had just to make sure she could get up, go to work, and make sure that child was fed. Lana couldn't even stand the sight of a man that would do that to a woman, and she certainly wasn't going to be his human sex doll if that's the kind of man he was.
Lana dressed as fast as she could and rushed out the door to go to work. The entire way there, she thought about just how much she hated herself for getting fooled by him. She should've been more careful, and ran when she realized that there was something strange about him, but he was too powerful.