“Can they shift at this age?” Conversation might help her ignore her aching heart.
“No, most shifters make the first change as toddlers or even as preschoolers. It usually happens during a tantrum or some other outburst of emotion. Until then, they are exactly like human babies.”
“Are triplets the norm?”
“Not exactly the norm. Twins and triplets are frequent, though. There are singletons, but most shifters have more than one pup at a time.”
“Interesting.” She looked down at the baby she held. His little face looked so peaceful as his eyes drifted closed. He was perfect.
“Do you want children, Hope?”
It was the worst thing he could ask her, the question she was unprepared to answer while holding that little angel in her arms.
“Thanks so much for holding them. I feel like a new woman.” Mara breezed in, looking hastily dressed, with hair still damp. “You have no idea what a difference a shower makes.”
Hope smiled as she handed the baby over and watched as Mara set him and then his brothers in their crib, nestling them all together. “It was my pleasure. They’re so sweet. Congratulations!”
“Thanks. And congratulations to you, too. Besides my Tyler, you couldn’t ask for two better men than Adam and Levi.”
Mara’s comment made her smile. She had to agree, but the room suddenly seemed too small, too crowded. She needed some air. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mara. I’ll just wait outside.”
“Oh, no. You don’t have to,” Mara said, though she yawned sleepily, looking ready for a nap herself.
“Go ahead and get some sleep, Mara,” Adam said. “Nikki’s coming by with some trays of food for you later. We just came by to see how you were doing.”
“Okay…” Mara yawned again, clearly torn between the need for sleep and the desire to be social. “If you’re sure.”
“We’re sure.” Adam guided Hope out of the nursery and back outside, where she let out a harsh breath and fought back the tears that kept trying to make their way to the surface.
Adam took her by the shoulders and searched her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s nothing.”
“We both know that’s not true. Just tell me. It doesn’t matter what it is, just tell me.”
The tears stung her eyes and she swallowed hard, hating that she wasn’t strong enough to hold them back, even after so much time had passed. “I saw how you looked at those babies in there…and then you asked me…”
“I asked you what? What is it, Hope?”
He knew. She could see it in his face. He knew, and he was just waiting for her to confirm it.
“I can’t have children. I can’t ever have babies or pups, or whatever you call them here.” She broke down then, the tears flowing in earnest. He was the first person she’d ever told besides her mother, her sister, and a couple of close friends. Well, she’d told Brad right after her diagnosis, and he’d said it didn’t matter, that they could adopt. Six months later, she’d caught him fucking her friend.
Adam reached for her, holding her close and stroking her hair until she had no more tears left. Only when she’d cried herself out did he finally ask the question she’d known had been coming. “Why? Why can’t you have children?”
“I have premature ovarian failure. My fucking body just quit on me way too early.” Yes, there was the anger. The anger over the unfairness of that diagnosis, of losing her dream of being a mother at such a young age was easier to deal with than the pain.
“Are you sure?” Adam asked, his voice careful.
“Oh, I’m sure. So you see? You don’t want me for a mate. I’m defective.” There was his reason to stop trying to convince her they belonged together.
He grasped her chin and gently kissed her forehead and then her lips. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes for so long she started to turn away, feeling overwhelmed by what she saw there. He wouldn’t let her, though. Holding her gaze, he said the only words sure to start the tears again. “It doesn’t matter. It’s you I want. Nothing else matters.”
Just like that, her wall of anger failed her, and the pain crashed down once more. But there was something else. Something she didn’t understand. It felt a little like hope.
* * * *
“Where are we going?” Hope asked, breathing heavily as they reached the top of another hill. She’d insisted on walking the entire distance, though Adam would have been more than happy to carry her. She’d also insisted on asking him where they were going several times. He’d refused to tell her, but it was clear she wasn’t big on suspense.
“We’re here.” He extended a hand to her, pulling her into his arms so that she faced the valley below, her back pressed to his chest.
“Where, exactly, is here?”
“Well, just down that hill is where I was born.”
“It’s beautiful.”
Adam nodded. Lush greenery grew wild for as far as the eye could see. It was the perfect place to settle, but it had remained untouched decades later. The clan hadn’t really needed to rebuild out here, and leaving it untouched was Zion’s way of protecting him. He thought it would be too painful for Adam to see homes built and children playing in this area. “The land has had time to heal.”
Hope turned to look up at him. “What is this place? I mean, besides where you were born?”
“I was four years old when it happened. A fire started—we still aren’t even sure how—and spread from home to home, destroying everything in its path. It happened in the middle of the night. All I remember is waking to screams and smoke. I couldn’t get to my parents, but I could hear my mother screaming for me. I was so afraid. At first I just stood there crying and screaming for her, for my father to come get me, but finally I got up the courage to run toward her voice. I’d almost made it to the basement door, that’s where my parents were, when Zion crashed into the room and lifted me off my feet, dragging me outside. He handed me to Levi’s mom, and she held me as he rushed back inside. I waited, knowing Zion would save them. He was our alpha, larger than life in my eyes, so I knew… I knew my parents would be okay, as long as Zion was there.”
Adam swallowed hard, the memories still difficult to face, even after so many years had passed. He felt Hope turn in his arms and looked down to find her scanning his face, waiting. “He didn’t, though. There was too much fire, too much heat, and back then we didn’t interact with humans much. Calling the fire department was out of the question back then. Zion barely escaped with his life, and my parents died that night. Our house was destroyed, the cabin next to it, too, but my parents were the only fatalities.”
“Oh, Adam. I’m so, so sorry. You must have been so frightened and sad.”
“I was. We never figured out how the fire had started, but we did learn why my parents were in the basement in the middle of the night. The next day was my birthday, you see, and I liked trains. I’d never been on one, but I’d seen them. I was obsessed with them, and my parents were down there building a toy train set for me.”
Tears slid down her cheeks, and Adam kissed her softly, lingeringly before wiping them away. “Don’t cry for me. That’s not why I brought you here. The point is, Levi’s mom and Zion took me in that same night. She held me in her arms all night that first night and came running every night for weeks when I had nightmares and woke up screaming for my mother. I eventually latched on to her, feeling panicked whenever she was out of my sight. Zion put up with that and when I grew older and acted out, blaming him for failing to save my parents, he put up with that, too. They grew to love me, so much that I was finally able to accept the loss of my parents and return their love, even when that included discipline. I never forgot my parents, but I never felt lost or unloved. I never felt anything less than family.”
He felt her arms tighten around him, and realized she was trying to comfort him. But that was all wrong. He wanted to comfort her, but he wasn’t doing a very good job.
&nb
sp; “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you. I can’t—”
“The point is, they adopted me and made me a part of their family. A real part of it. Either one of them would have died for me. Zion still would. Blood isn’t required to form a family, and there are always children who need what Zion and Arianna so freely gave me. We will have a family, Hope, if that’s what you want. So don’t ever think you’re not the perfect woman for us. ”
Tears streamed down her face again, and Adam mentally kicked himself. “Don’t cry. I’m not the best with words. I only wanted to show you what could be overcome with a loving home.”
“How can you tell me all of that and not expect me to cry? But the thing is, they’re not all sad tears.” She smiled tremulously up at him. “I’m so sad for that little boy you were, but amazed at the man you seem to be despite it all. You and Levi…you’re like…I don’t know…something out of a fairy tale.”
“Well, we’re more than ordinary men but not quite fairy tale worthy. We’re not perfect, Hope. You have to know that. But we’re all in. If you let us, we’ll love you for a lifetime.”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. For the first time since he’d met her, she truly seemed speechless. Adam grinned down at his woman, thinking he’d finally gotten through to her. Whether she was ready to acknowledge it or not, they belonged together. They would claim her—soon. In the meantime, he hoped to render her breathless in addition to speechless. Wrapping his hands in her hair, he claimed her lips and went to work.
* * * *
Hope’s next morning in River’s Bend started off with breakfast in the lodge’s dining room again. She was beginning to recognize some of the faces, and her comfort level had improved as well. Being an introvert was tough in River’s Bend, but she was learning to deal.
Sarah and her men joined them just before the housekeeping staff came in to break down the buffet. It seemed the day’s planned clan gathering was important enough to get Sarah out of bed early. She attacked the large plate of breakfast meats and eggs she’d prepared for herself, and Hope was careful to keep her fingers out of the way. She didn’t want them bitten off.
She’d raised an eyebrow at Sarah, but Sarah just shook her head. Either she hadn’t taken a pregnancy test yet or it had come up negative. Hope made a mental note to grill her like a common criminal about it later.
She took a seat in the front row with Adam and Levi. Her revelation about her inability to have children had done nothing to dampen their desire for her. They continued to insist that they belonged together.
Sarah sat further back in the crowd since she and her mates were not part of either alphas’ family. Levi had said that would all change, however, once they’d claimed her. The man wouldn’t give up.
As the meeting got underway, she listened with rapt attention, fascinated as Zion and then the other alpha, Grey, discussed things like borders, investments, budgets and upcoming joining ceremonies. It wasn’t every day that you heard real wolf men talking about such things, or talking at all. Then, Zion turned the conversation to war, and that’s when Hope almost fell out of her chair. Adam tightened his arm around her, and Levi, looking worried, asked if she wanted to go lie down. She’d felt all the blood drain out of her face when Zion had said a word she’d never expected to hear—he’d said “vampires.”
Hope shook her head rapidly, squeezing Levi’s hand to let him know she was okay. She had to hear what else Zion had to say. Maybe she’d just imagined he’d said vampires.
“Reports state that Ulric and the Crimson Moon Pack have been making their way down the coast, though he’s had some detours, which account for his somewhat slower progress. We don’t have numbers on how many have joined him, but his pack is growing. At last report, he’d recruited over two hundred shifters, but that number could be doubled by now. We do know he favors sending scouts out to threaten smaller packs and wrangle new followers, but he makes personal trips to larger packs, challenging their leaders if they refuse to submit. We have every reason to expect a visit from him—and a fight. There is no way to know when, just that it will happen.”
An uproar interrupted his speech, the general consensus indignation at this Ulric’s audacity.
Zion held a hand up and the crowd quieted as if he’d flicked a switch to shut everyone off. “We don’t believe he will have the numbers to overcome us, at least not if he continues on his present course. Our sister clans have pledged to support us if it comes to a battle. However, there are three things of concern. First, though I am certain Ulric and his pack will lose, we have to anticipate casualties. Our priority is to minimize them, but it’s unrealistic to expect to battle without bloodshed and loss of our own. Second, there are rumors, and at this point, they are only rumors, that Ulric is pressing females into service. This is unheard of among our kind. We protect our women, not send them into battle. Third, though we will never submit to Ulric or any other mangy bottom-feeder, there are those who will. And once Ulric is satisfied with the size of his army, he will strike the first blow in a battle with the vampires, in particular the Lamia Nox Clan.”
Again, Zion’s words caused an uproar of shocked, angry protests, but Hope could only focus on one thing. “He said vampires. Vampires are real?”
Adam hugged her close. “There is so much of this world that humans never see or recognize.”
Of course. Of course they were real. Why would wolf shifters be the only mythological creatures that turned out to be real? Were there goblins, too? Fairies? Demons? Her mind reeled, and she was glad she’d eaten heartily. If she fainted again, she’d miss the rest of the meeting, and something told her there was more she needed to hear.
Someone shouted a question at Zion. “Why? Why would he risk that? That horde of bloodsuckers will wipe him out as easily as if they were swatting flies.”
Zion held his hand up, and again the crowd grew silent. “Starting a war with the vampires will cause them to attack other packs, not just Ulric’s. We believe Ulric plans for this to happen, knowing we’ll be drawn into the war against the vampires whether we support him or not. We have reason to believe he’d rather have support at the outset, but that he will attack without it.”
The shouts started again and grew into a collective roar. Grey took Zion’s place at the podium and inclined his head, which had the same silencing effect as Zion’s raised hand. “We understand your concern. It’s smart to be concerned, but we have no intention of submitting. What we are going to do is plan, fight, and win.”
* * * *
They’d planned to walk back after the meeting, but Adam was suddenly in a big hurry to get home, so he borrowed one of Zion’s cars. The silence in the car was deafening. Hope guessed he was upset about the possibility of war, but she suspected there was something more to it than that. He looked more than anxious. He actually looked sad. Levi’s face was impassive, but his silence told her he was similarly affected.
The moment they stepped inside and shut the door, she rounded on them. “Alright. Tell me what’s wrong.” She had a million questions about vampires and other things that went bump in the night, but before she could ask them, she had to know why they were so upset.
Adam wouldn’t look at her, and it was Levi who answered. “The meeting didn’t go as we’d hoped. We knew trouble was brewing, but we’d hoped it would fizzle out or at least that we had more time to deal with it.”
“Okay. This is all very, very hard for me to wrap my head around, but I understand.” She followed Adam as he made his way toward his bedroom. “Where are you going? Talk to me!”
He kept walking until she caught up with him and grabbed his arm, feeling the tension in his muscles. “Please talk to me, Adam.” His sudden coldness was unlike the man she’d come to know.
He turned to look at her then, and her stomach dropped. She didn’t know exactly what was on his mind, but she could easily tell she wasn’t going to like it.
He sighed deeply. “Once Sarah
has joined with her mates, I think it’s best for you to leave River’s Bend and go back to Philadelphia.”
“Well, that’s no big revelation. That was my plan all along.” Except hearing him tell her she should do it made her want to scream and cry at the same time. “But why? Why do you suddenly want me to leave when all you’ve talked about is how we’re fated to be together?”
“I’m sorry, Hope. This is our fault. We should have thought this through before we…before we took you and told you everything about us and this place. It’s not safe for you here.” Adam turned away and walked to his bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.
She stood staring at the closed door until Levi came and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Come on. Let’s go sit down and talk.”
Even Levi seemed off. He didn’t sit as close to her as usual. She didn’t understand how they could go from hot to cold so quickly. “Why won’t he talk to me?”
“He’s hurting, Hope. You’re our fated, and his feelings for you are already strong. Having you leave will be like tearing his skin off and then having to walk around like that, always hurting and never fully able to heal.”
“Then why push me away?” As illogical as it was after how much she’d resisted, it hurt that he wanted her to go.
“He thinks it’s the right thing to do. To keep you safe.”
“And you? Do you agree with him? You want me to go, too?”
Levi growled, his first show of emotion since this line of conversation had started. “I don’t want you to go. I never want you more than a few feet from me, but he’s right. You’ll be safer back in your own home. If Sarah’s joining weren’t coming up, we’d escort you back now.”
“Escort me? You think you can tell me to leave after saying we’d be together forever and then get to escort me? Hell no.” She was beyond angry. She was pissed as hell, and she didn’t know why. Wasn’t this what she wanted?
Claiming Hope [Wolves of River's Bend 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 18