At seven, Craig collected me and we went to dinner and to either a show or the casino, where I stood behind him and watched him bet thousands on a single roll of the dice. Afterward, he would take me back to the hotel and kiss me goodnight on the cheek. I noticed that each time he got closer to my lips.
He asked me once what it was I did all day, as I didn’t appear to be sunning by the pool. I told him I was working on a book and he sniggered. Yes, I know, I told him; everyone is working on a book. He gave me an indulgent smile and nodded. After that he didn’t ask any more questions. I wasn’t lying when I said I was working on a book, because I was. The book in question just happened to be the online Oregon phone directory.
I called every other day just to see how the work on my Dolphin was coming along and was told maybe tomorrow about four times.
It was Thursday afternoon and I felt as if I was back in the grind at my old stock-brokering job, the job I’d had when I met Jared. I remembered things from that period, things like yesterday, Wednesday, had been hump day, and that tomorrow, Friday, was casual dress day. This whole week I had stayed in my P.J.’s until it was time to get ready for dinner with Craig. I smiled and wondered how much more casual I could get than a cropped cami and tap pants. The receptionist at a Wal-Mart in Pendleton, Oregon, who had automatically put me on hold when she picked up, finally came back on the line.
“Sorry to keep you holding so long, a little boy came in with his eyelid superglued shut.”
“Ugh!”
“Yeah, but you’d be surprised how often it happens. He’ll be fine though, Doc’s with him now. How can I help you?”
I no longer had to even think about my spiel it was so practiced. “I found a gold contact case with your card in it. The only identifying thing is the monogrammed lid and your card inside. I was wondering if you might be able to tell me if you have a patient named Snooks. It also looks like he might have two different colored eyes by the doctor’s little note on the card.”
“Snooks? I know Snooks. He’s not a patient here as far as I know though. In fact, I haven’t even seen him for about two years. He and his wife used to go to my church.”
Well you can imagine, I damned near fell off the edge of the bed where I was polishing my big toe. Polish went everywhere, ruining the lovely intarsia spread. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“You know Snooks?”
“Well, like I said, I haven’t seen him in almost two years. He used to sing in the choir. His wife helped out in the nursery—she taught my little boy Bible stories.”
“Do you know where they are now? Do you know his real name?”
“I don’t know where they are, they always traveled a lot. But I know his name was Robert and hers was Ellen, the little girl was Annie.”
“They do have a little girl because there’s a picture of a little girl in this little gold locket I found.” I was improvising as I went along. My heart was pounding so hard I was surprised that it wasn’t drowning out our conversation.
“Yeah, she was a few years older than my son, she used to play with him. Cute little thing, but shy, you never saw a kid so shy.”
“This must be their case, the girl in the photo is very young, too. Do you remember their last name by any chance?”
“I’m pretty sure it was Burns.”
“Robert Burns?” I asked not bothering to hide my cynicism.
“Yeah, that’s why I remember it. Funny, huh? Only I think they spelled it B-Y-R-N-E-S. Hey I’ve gotta go, I’ve got another call coming in.”
“Wait! What’s your name?”
“Liz Preston-Hardin, now I really have to go.”
I sat there shaking, the phone in one hand, the nail polish brush in the other, still dripping pink polish on both the rug and the comforter in steady, even plops.
Holy shit! I found him! My heart could not have been beating faster. I felt like I had run a marathon and now that the adrenaline rush was over, I was crashing. I could not get rid of the shaky feeling that was inside me, getting ready to burst out, until I realized exactly what it was that was getting ready to burst out. I ran to the bathroom and got there just in time. The ball of nerves knotted in my stomach from the moment she had said “Snooks? I know Snooks,” had churned until the inevitable happened.
I took a quick shower because now I was clammy all over. I had gone from being overheated just before that last call, to filled with an emotion so strong it overwhelmed my system. I felt as if the blood running in my veins had been turned to the consistency of syrup and I heard each loud pump of my heart in my ears. At the same time I was shaky and spasmodic, as if I’d been on a caffeine high. I was now wiping my face with the towel and pacing naked around the room as I went over every word of our conversation. Afraid I would forget something, I managed to write everything down, but the scratchy handwriting didn’t look at all like my own.
Calmer now, having doused my head and abraded the life back into my skin with the towel, I reached for the flier I had been staring at just a few days ago. A young Jillie stared back at me and I imagined I saw her smile.
“Jillie, are you Annie now? Have I really stumbled onto something that could lead your brother to you? How could I have possibly been that lucky?”
I looked at the number on the flier and went over to the bed to get my phone. Now to get him to talk to me, and believe me, I thought. Surely he doesn’t hate me enough to think I could get him all hepped up and send him on a wild goose chase.
The phone was picked up on the second ring and a man who sounded tired and bored asked me one question after another. With each answer lending more credence to the call, I was finally able to ask some of my own.
“Can’t you just get Brick Tyler on the phone? Just have him call me; this is his sister we’re talking about. He’s an agent for the North Carolina State Bureau of Investigation, I’m sure you must have his number.”
“I can’t do that. I have to take everything down and have my supervisor review it before the information gets forwarded to anyone. Less than five percent of these calls yield any results. We have to be very careful not to get the families’ hopes up.”
“You tell your supervisor to call Brick Tyler. Because if you don’t, he may never see his sister again!”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No! I’m just telling you we don’t have time to screw around on this. Now I know you’re recording this. Just get him on the phone and let him listen to what I’ve told you!”
I hung up with such force that the loud snap of the phone cover closing reverberated against the smooth stucco walls. I stood there listening to my heavy breathing and then sat on the bed and forced my head between my thighs. When I felt light-headed from this, I flopped back on the bed and immediately felt the scrape of dried polish on my bare back. Idly, I was wondering if nail polish remover would take it off without causing the dark colors of the fabric to bleed when my cell phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number.
“Hello?”
“This had better not be some kind of trick.”
“You know, I’ve just about had it with your attitude. If you could possibly think that I would stoop so low, I don’t have anything more to say to you. For Jillie’s sake, have another agent call me.” Instead of slamming the cover shut this time, I pressed the red, end call button. The slick pretty pink nail reminded me that I hadn’t finished my matching pedicure.
I walked over to the nightstand and dialed room service and ordered a bottle of their mid-priced cabernet and a bottle of nail polish remover from the sundry shop in the lobby. My cell phone started ringing but I ignored it until I had finished my call, making sure they knew not to chill the wine. For some ungodly reason, they often chilled reds out here. Ugh!
Then I strolled slowly back to my phone that was vibrating and repeating the Hallelujah Chorus over and over again.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s better.”
“So wha
t’s this about Jillie? How did all this come about?”
“First you have to listen to me about the other thing, our little miscommunication.”
“I knew this was a trick!” I knew I had to hurry or be cut off.
“No! No trick! Jillie was my motivation. I knew you’d talk to me if I found her, so I made it my job to find her.”
“So you’ve found her?”
“Didn’t you hear the tape of my conversation?”
“No, it’s on a loop, they didn’t want to waste time finding it and called me instead.”
“I have not been double-timing you.”
“I don’t care about that. Tell me about Jillie.”
“Jillie’s waited four years, she can wait ten minutes more.”
I briefly told him what had happened from the moment I broke down at Furnace Creek, until I had retched a few moments ago. It wasn’t a pretty thing to relate but I had to tell him everything to give as much credence to this unbelievable tale as I possibly could. I finished by telling him that, although I still loved him, I was so shaken over our trust issues that I didn’t think it would work out for us in the long run, so as far as I was concerned, our relationship was over anyway. I told him that by refusing to take my calls he had made my life hell for almost a week and that I was dearly tired of living in hell.
“Jenny, don’t do this. Don’t shut me out right now. You can’t know how I felt when I saw you there in that man’s arms, looking for all the world that you’d found a haven you would never, ever want to leave.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking, only the man I was with, at least in my mind, was you. But I can’t do this right now. I’m exhausted and still shaky inside, plus I have nail polish all over the place.”
“What?”
“I was polishing my toenails when I was talking to Liz, it went everywhere. It doesn’t matter . . . I can’t talk now. I just wanted you to know I hadn’t done anything wrong, nothing I’m ashamed of at least. I gotta go, room service is at the door.”
“Jenny—!”
I hung up on him again and this time I threw the phone at the headboard. I heard something crack, but at that moment, I really didn’t care if I’d broken it or not. I was almost to the door before I realized that I was naked. I detoured to the bathroom to grab the waffle knit robe that the hotel provided from the back of the bathroom door.
I took both bottles from the man at the door, and once back inside, I opened the most damaging first, the one that would prevent me from being ready for dinner on time.
Two hours later when Craig knocked on the door, I was snockered, but good. I had managed to dress, but not in any way that I would want to be seen in public. The door shut behind Craig and then he slowly removed his sport coat and took great care folding it before tossing it haphazardly on the back of an armchair.
Room service was dispatched again and we settled in for a night of long chats between gruesome movies. Around two in the morning Craig pressed a series of buttons and a porn flick came on. With an upward quirk of an eyebrow he turned to me and half smiled, “Interested?”
It was the most blatant come on I’d ever had, so I had to laugh.
“I’m serious.”
I sobered. “I’m sorry, I know you are. It’s just such an unusual approach.”
“You’re a very unusual woman.”
“And all I yearn for is a quiet home life with a few kids, a dog, and maybe even a lizard thrown in for good luck.” It was an odd thing to hear amid the heavy breathing and sultry music in the background.
“It can all be arranged, just say the word,” he said in a husky voice.
“And what word might that be?”
“Mine. Say you’ll be mine.”
“I already did that once and it did not work out well at all, and I loved him.”
“That was the problem. Love mucks things up.”
I picked up my wine glass and raised it in salute. “You got that right. Love sucksalup.”
He took the glass from my hand and put it on the coffee table in front of us, then hit the power button on the remote and all was quiet, except for the hum of the air conditioner. He stood and took my hand. I hesitated for a moment.
“I’m not going to ravish you, at least not when you’re like this. Get some sleep, it’s Tucson for us tomorrow.” He picked up the wine bottle that was still half full; I remembered it as being one of three room service had sent up. “Unless you want to spend the whole plane ride in the head, I’d better take this with me. Get some sleep, we need to be at the airport by ten.” He turned me toward the bed, then spanked my butt.
I knew I was fortunate that Craig was an honorable man; a lot of men wouldn’t leave a woman in the state I was in without taking a few liberties. I counted myself lucky when I heard the door close behind him that he had only smacked my rump. My rump in Pahrump. That struck me as hilarious and I laughed myself silly, rolling back and forth on the bed.
Chapter Thirty-two
I woke up with sweat making my nightgown stick to my skin like a latex glove. My back felt as if there was a plaster cast on it and I was scared, suddenly very, very scared. I groped for the lamp on the nightstand and clicked the switch on the cord and the room filled with a stark white light that stung my eyes. Pinpoints of light lasered into my eyeballs and I had to close my lids against the sudden brightness. I squinted and slowly opened one eye so I could assure myself there was no imminent danger, no slasher at the foot of the bed.
Blindly, I scrunched my pillow up behind me until I was sitting up against the headboard. I drew a shaky breath and peeled the nightgown off and tossed it to the floor. Just about that time the A/C kicked in and caused me to jump. I held my hand over my eyes massaging them lightly, trying to forget the dream that had woke me.
But it was too vivid, as I’d actually been there at one time in my life; it wasn’t the kind of dream concocted of imagination. It was the fact that I had participated that instantly brought shame and an inner terror that caused me to shrink in fear. I was bent over Jared’s knees and his hand was coming down with a force that propelled me forward, but his grip on the back of my neck wouldn’t let me slide off and escape. He favored a ping-pong-paddle as it had a “nice waffly pattern” that he liked to see imprinted on my bottom. He made me sit bare-assed on his naked thighs so he could feel the ridges while his fingers made me wet before taking me from the rear. I was not overly plump there and without sufficient cushioning I often felt the blows clear to my bones. At first it hadn’t been so awfully bad as he smacked me until he became fully aroused, and that first time it had only required three paddlings. But as time went on it took more contact of the paddle to my burning, crimson bottom to satisfy him—thirty-two one time, enough that I couldn’t sit or wipe myself without crying out for days, which I also think gave him pleasure.
Craig’s off-hand, friendly smack to my butt last night must have triggered this nightmare I thought, despite the fact that I’d had so much to drink that it really shouldn’t have even registered. It had, nevertheless, festered in my mind until . . . I looked at the clock . . . 3:23 a.m.
I shifted my weight to one hip and rubbed my bottom just to be sure I had been in the throes of a nightmare, as everything had seemed so real. It was smooth and cool, not inflamed or tender to the touch. More than ever I hated that man! How dare he haunt me and instill these awful feelings of dread and shame! I had left all that behind! When would I be free of him? I put my hand over my face and cried. Yesterday had been a truly lousy day and I could not wait until the sun came up so a new one could begin.
Then I remembered that Craig was flying me to Tucson in the morning to get Angelina’s puppy and my heart lifted. It was the one bright thing in my life right now, seeing her face when she got her new puppy. I threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, idly aware that my rump was not sore as I’d halfway expected. I wondered if everyone dreamed as vividly as I did or if that was just one of my wonderful “talents.”
I felt so good after a long, cool shower that I picked up the phone and called room service. It was only four and I almost hung up when I realized it, but a calm, sweet-voiced woman answered, “Yes, Miss Jenny, what can I get for you?”
I wondered if all Craig’s guests got this type of service or if he had instructed everyone to go the limit for me. I ordered a breakfast that would fill a moose and took a whole hour to systematically devour it all. Then I dressed in cuffed jeans and a shell sweater with a cardigan to match, as I had no idea what the temperature on the plane would be. I fed Stumpy from the stash I’d been collecting with help from the staff and let him out for a run around the bedroom. His tail was mostly grown in now and he seemed pretty responsive. When he winked at me as I put him back in his terrarium, I couldn’t help smiling. We were a team and he didn’t require anything from me but bugs. He wouldn’t break my heart or give me nightmares, and he wouldn’t play dead as I suspected Jared was doing so he could entice me out in the open, so he could hurt me again. There was something to be said for a pet that asked so little. I was almost dreading the day when I would have to set him free.
Chapter Thirty-three
The puppies were so adorable that I almost bought two. But then I thought about my life and how uncertain it was right now and realized the last thing I needed was another pet, especially one who would require me to buy carpet cleaner by the case. Craig watched as I held each one, offering advice and reminding me that if I wanted one for myself that he would buy it for me. I was so tempted, but honestly, I could barely take care of myself.
The little girl puppy that found my hair so enticing quickly became my favorite and after an hour of vacillating, I chose her. I gave the breeder a wad of cash, listened to the care instructions, and cuddled the little fluff of hair to my chest as we walked back to Craig’s rented Town Car. “Angelina is going to be thrilled with this precious little thing,” I said, as I cooed to it and kissed its tiny wet nose.
“Are you sure you don’t want one of your own?”
“Thank you, but no. Stumpy’s just my speed for now, low maintenance, and until he gets his tail all the way back, easy to keep up with.”
Running Up the Score Page 16