by Laurèn Lee
Even though sleep called to me and exhaustion tugged at me, I couldn’t help but think about the events of tonight. What had I gotten myself into? Did Wayne and I really kiss, or had I just imagined that part?
No, I absolutely couldn’t have made it up; the kiss was far too real to be a pigment of my imagination. His lips were surprisingly soft which complimented his beard lightly scraping against my cheeks. His breath had tasted of beer, but it left me craving more.
I remembered when his lips met mine, my stomach swooped and dropped as though I’d just flown over the hill of the tallest rollercoaster in the world.
He was a hit man, though. He murdered people for a living. His job was to end a person’s life. How could he live like that? How could he live with himself? Sure, it’s not like I was a perfect employee in some corporate office, but at least I didn’t kill people. No one had ever overdosed from the drugs I dealt.
Once I’d carefully and quietly cleared my dishes of any excess crumbs and sauce, I wanted to do something I hadn’t done in a very long time; I wanted to go up to the roof of our building.
In the hallway, I climbed the remaining two flights of stairs until I reached the heavy door with the unmistakable red sign above its hinges.
“Caution: Emergency Exit Only. Alarm will sound.”
Luckily, I knew no such alarm existed and the door was even kept unlocked. One night when I’d stumbled home black-out drunk, I thought I was at my own front door and tried to open the roof’s door. It didn’t take me long to figure out exactly where I was. It had been raining that night and the cool drops assaulting my face shook me out of the fog. After that, I visited the rooftop regularly, for at least a little while. It had been a year or two since I went up there though, but decided I could use the fresh air and a different perspective. Even if the view from the roof only further exposed the neighborhood for what it truly was: trash and unmistakable filth.
I stepped out onto the roof and my feet felt the familiar texture of the old and decrepit shingles which had severely warped over the years. And, as always, the air felt purer up here. It smelled cleaner. It was easier to breathe in. The air near the ground was far too polluted with the people who spat their venom to each other daily. Cranberry Lane sure wasn’t the happiest of places; that’s for sure.
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it with my clean, white lighter. I couldn’t help but carry it around with me everywhere. I always chose white lighters because the chances of it being stolen were zero to nil. Too many superstitious people feared white lighters, while I loved him. I rarely smoked, but I figured tonight I could make an exception.
The smoke filled my lungs and my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head in ecstasy. I felt on top of the world up here. I felt free. No longer was I a shady drug dealer. No longer was I stuck taking care of Ma. No longer was I glued to the resentment of daily life on the lane.
In that moment, I wondered about all the other people in the world on a rooftop at the same exact time. I’m sure some people were seeing the sun instead of the moon. I’m sure some had a drink in their hands. Maybe a few contemplated jumping off. No matter how many others shared a similar view to me though, I knew no one else in the entire world was thinking what I was thinking; I kissed a freakin’ hit man.
31
Wayne
What the fuck happened last night?
Seriously, did I kiss Serenity, the pink-haired drug dealer? And with tongue? The girl was almost half my age!
Worse than realizing I’d kissed a girl not yet twenty years old, is that I liked it… A lot.
More than anything, I needed to clear my mind and get a fresh perspective on what had just happened and life in general.
Sammy hadn’t woken up yet, so I could easily sneak out of the house and go for a much-needed run. I tiptoed to my bedroom and changed into my favorite black Adidas running shorts and laced up my equally as worn in sneakers. I quickly checked my phone and noticed it was already eighty degrees outside even though it was barely ten in the morning. Must be one of those Indian Summer kind of days. With that information in mind, I decided against putting on a shirt. I could even out my farmer’s tan, even just a little bit.
I stowed an energy bar in my shorts’ pocket and chugged a glass of water. I wasn’t hungry now, but I’m sure after I ran for a little while my stomach would come to and demand sustenance.
I hurled myself out of the apartment and hit the pavement with a fierce veracity which surprised me. My feet carried me to Evergreen Street which already bustled with sullen townies going to work and far too energetic kids hopping onto the bus.
Instinctively, my feet avoided the trash on the sidewalks. McDonalds Happy Meal boxes, scratched lottery tickets, coupons left behind from the day’s edition of the newspaper, empty soda bottles, and so much more. It was like a freakin’ obstacle course.
I couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if Sammy and I moved the fuck outta this town. Would I miss it here? Or, would I never look back? It had been something I seriously considered, especially more often lately. I wanted Sammy to go to college, and not just any college, but a damn good one.
Sweat poured down my temple and dripped onto my bare torso, weaving in and out of my patches of now salt and pepper chest hair. I remembered when the thought of gray hair utterly terrified me. I thought back to when I was growing up and feared growing older. Even now, I wished I knew how to make it stop, how to go back in time. There were so many things I’d do differently. I would have gone to college, gotten a real job, and made a real life for me and Sammy.
Somewhere along the way though, temptation sucked me in and never spit me back out. The money had been too good. The thrill had been unbeatable. And, I was damn good at it. Isn’t that what everyone says? All the big wig inspirational people? Do what you love and fuck the rest? Not that I loved killing people per se, but I loved the money that came with it.
I had enough saved by now to pay for Sammy’s first couple years of college. No matter where he decided to go, whether it was Harvard, Yale, Alabama, or wherever, his education would be completely paid for eventually. I’d get the kid out of this shit hole town one way or another.
Exhaustion took hold as I mentally calculated how many miles I’d run so far; it had to be at least five or six. I slowed my pace to a jog and then turned around to head back home. A few cars on Pine Street honked. Most of ‘em were guys I went to school with or customers of the garage. I’d give a slight nod, but keep on running. I was in the zone, I didn’t want to stop for pleasantries.
“Wayne?” a woman’s sultry voice called out.
I turned around and jogged in place to see who had called out my name. A familiar face came into view.
“Hey, Rhonda. How are you?”
She looked me up and down and licked her lips. “I’m doing much better now that I’ve run into you.”
Rhonda and I had “dated” for a few months. I met her at Mickey’s during a Ladies’ Night and she turned out to be an easy lay. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy to get rid of her as it had been to bring her home. Her elbow-length black licorice locks blew in the breeze and her crimson lipstick made her lips appear extra pouty.
“I’ve missed you, ya know?”
I haven’t missed you.
“Yeah, we should catch up soon.”
“That would be great! Still have the same number?” she asked as she whipped out her Galaxy with the same old leopard-print case.
“Yup. Hope to hear from you soon!” I started running away with my hand in the air to wave goodbye.
“I’ll call you!” she cried out behind me.
I laughed to myself knowing she could call that number all she wanted, but it wouldn’t be me who’d answer. I changed my number as soon as I could after breaking up with her.
As I ran farther down the street, sweat steadily pouring down my body. I passed Cranberry Lane and thought of Serenity. I wondered how she could have gotten so caught up in the dealin
g business. Surely, she could have done anything she wanted with her life. After all, she was extremely smart. I sensed that the moment I met her. Well, you know, besides the fact she went into the bathroom with some douche bag at the bar.
I hadn’t even realized what my body had decided until it was too late; I jogged down Cranberry Lane to Serenity’s apartment.
Damn it. What am I doing? I’m supposed to be getting my mind off her not going to her fucking apartment.
It didn’t take long before I heard the familiar screech of bickering and shouting. I sure as hell didn’t miss living here. However, the closer I came to Serenity’s apartment, the louder the fighting became.
And then, I stood right out front of Serenity’s place and realized I’d also found the exact source of the commotion, too.
“Are you fucking kidding me? This is exactly what I said was going to happen! How could you do this to me?”
“Calm down, Serenity. It’s really not a big deal!”
“You gave that prick all of my money!”
“Your money? That was our money!”
“Are you fucking kidding, Ma? Did you bust your ass to earn that money? No! That was supposed to help us get out of this shit hole apartment and off the lane! Now, we are stuck here!”
“He said he will pay us back. So please, calm down!”
The unmistakable sound of glass shattering assaulted my ears and I heard someone pounding down the stairs to the entrance. Out of the door burst a girl with tears streaming down her cheeks, carrying streaks of mascara with them.
It was Serenity.
“Is everything okay?”
“No,” she sniffled. “I need to hire you.”
32
Serenity
As the words left my lips, an electric current surged throughout my body.
“Huh?” Wayne asked with bewilderment across his face.
“My mother befriended some con artist who convinced her to give him all of our money!” I fumed. “I need you to rip his throat out!”
“Woah, hang on there. What is going on?”
“Wait a minute,” I paused. “Why are you here and why are you so sweaty?”
Even though I wasn’t exactly complaining.
“I was out for a run.” He shrugged.
“And, you just thought you’d take a stroll down this lovely street? I can tell why you’d want to soak in the atmosphere.” I kicked an empty beer can and wriggled my nose.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Great deflection. Talk at your place?”
He pondered for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Can you keep up?”
“With?”
“We’ll get back to my place faster if we run,” he said.
“You’re joking right?” I pointed down to my Chuck Taylor’s.
“I thought you were tough?” he chided.
“I am!” I snapped back.
“All right, then let’s go!”
Wayne started sprinting away and I groaned as I followed.
Once we got back to his place, I looked and felt as sweaty as Wayne. He started downing glass after glass of water and I realized I needed a whole lot more water than that, and I needed it poured over my head. Without another word, I went into the bathroom, stripped off my dirty clothes and hopped into the shower.
The icy water hit me with an intensity I desperately needed. A moan escaped my lips and I lathered up with Wayne’s soap. It was Axe, or something. I didn’t care, though. It just meant I’d smell as good as him.
A knock rapped on the door and shook me out of my watery ecstasy.
“What are you doing?”
“Uh, what do you think I’m doing?”
“I need to shower, too!” Wayne called out.
“Then, why don’t you join me,” I responded half-hating myself and half-wondering if he’d oblige.
“Just hurry up, okay? I’m still sweating like a pig.”
I sighed heavily and finished rinsing my rose-colored hair. There was exactly one towel in the bathroom and after smelling it, I realized it had to be Wayne’s. He could just grab another.
I stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in the towel and ventured off to Wayne’s room in search of clean clothes. He was already inside when I walked in. He sat on his bed in front of the miniature desk fan stationed on his dresser.
“It’s all yours!” I announced.
Wayne startled and whipped around. “Jesus Christ!”
“Someone’s jumpy,” I chided.
“Why are you always in a towel when you come over?”
“I just asked myself the same question. Hey, gimme some more of those slutty ex-girlfriend clothes.”
He shook his head and pointed toward a bin in his closet.
“Don’t you think it’s weird you have a collection of women’s clothes in your room?”
“I didn’t know what else to do with them.” He shrugged.
As I ruffled through the Tupperware bin, I found a plain white tee shirt and black stretchy yoga pants. I knew Wayne was still in the room and I dropped my towel to re-dress.
“Hey!” he scowled and turned away from me.
“What? It’s just skin."
“You’re far too free,” he mumbled.
“Okay, I’m dressed now,” I said with a smirk.
Why am I acting so desperate? And, why can’t I stop?
Wayne scooted around slowly with one eye closed to ensure I was indeed fully clothed.
“Where’s Sammy?” I asked curiously.
“He’s at school. I’m going to shower now, okay? Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”
I’d heard the shower rattle back on and the distinct sound of the lock on the bathroom door clicked into place. Was I really trying to seduce a man twice my age? I felt as though I had a devil and an angel on my shoulders. One furiously encouraging me to try to manipulate him to take me to bed and the other scorning me and begging me to stop. Which voice would be the loudest? Which influence would be the strongest? Only time would tell.
I jumped back onto his bed and let my damp tendrils spread across his pillows. The anger I’d felt less than an hour ago had already melted away. As I lay on Wayne’s bed, I wondered what it’d feel like to wake up here every morning. I wondered what it’d feel like to wake up beside a man, a real man, and know I was safe. Instead, I woke up every morning in my cramped bedroom and wondered how I’d pay our bills this month.
“Making yourself at home, I see?” Wayne asked as she shook me out of my daydream.
“Always am,” I responded.
“Can I have some privacy please?”
“For what?”
“Uh, to get dressed?”
“I’ll close my eyes,” I tweeted not exactly sure if I would or not.
“You’re impossible.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
He scrambled through his drawers to pick out a fresh outfit. He looked to with narrowed eyes as he clung to his towel. “I’m going to change, uh, somewhere else.”
Damn it!
After a few minutes, Wayne called out to me, “Come to the kitchen!”
I sighed heavily, and trudged out of his bedroom to where Wayne was stood, fixing us some lunch.
“What’s on the menu for today?” I asked.
“Turkey sandwiches. That okay?”
“Sure.”
“So, tell me what’s going on? Who do I have to save you from now?” He smirked.
“Some assbag named Jerry.”
“Jerry, huh? Sounds suspicious already.” He licked the knife after spreading mayonnaise on both our sets of bread.
“Apparently, my mom just met him. He said he’s in some kind of sales, but I know he’s lying. Well, anyways, he has my money and I need it back.”
“How did he get it and how much are we talkin’ here?”
“About five grand and Ma gave it to him.” I rolled my eyes. “Apparently, he’d broken down
and said his family was starving and he didn’t cash and fast!”
“Damn, Serenity. You ever hear of a bank account?”
“I don’t trust anyone with my money,” I snarled. “I barely trust Ma. And, this is why.”
“Okay, so what do you want me to do?”
“Help me get it back!”
“How? Do you have a plan?”
“Me? Aren’t you the criminal mastermind?”
He chuckled. “Barely.”
“Please, Wayne. I really need your help here. That money was going to help me and Ma get off the lane eventually. I was even thinking of trying to go back to school with it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “School?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Studyin’ what?” He’d set down our plates in front of us and grabbed two beers.
“I was thinkin’ about law, actually.”
His beer spritzed out of his nose and a fit of coughs erupted from his chest.
“Yeah, very funny, asshole.”
“That’s great, Serenity. It really is. I’m just surprised is all.”
“What? You think I’m not smart enough for school?”
“Not at all. Just can’t imagine why someone so keen on breaking the law would want to learn how to enforce it.”
“I’ve always been interested in it.”
“Good for you,” he said. “No, I really mean it. I hope it works out for you.”
“So, can you help me? Without that money, everything I’ve been doing would be for nothing.” I tried to hide the desperation in my voice.
Wayne stared at me intently as he sipped his beer. “Have an address for this Jerry guy?”
I thought for a moment. “No, but he recently sent Ma some flowers. Maybe we can rattle the florist for some more info?”
“You really are something dangerous. You know that?”
“Oh, I know.”