by Nola Cross
Sunny thought of the hazardous jumble Charles had left in their garage. “I don’t have a saw.”
“Not a problem. The tree farm we go to has saws for customers to use.”
She realized then that he would have an answer for any argument she might come up with. Not only that, Jasmine was staring at her with all kinds of hope written on her little face.
“Can we go to the tree farm too, Mama?”
“We haven’t been invited.” She bought a bit of time while she scrambled for an excuse, any excuse, not to go tree cutting with Ben Stillman. She kept her face turned toward Jasmine, knowing he was looking right at her.
“Would you like to come with us on Sunday?” he asked. “Spencer and I were planning to make a day of it. We go to a place across the river that has hay rides, a petting zoo, the whole holiday experience.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to impose.” She knew she was now scraping the bottom of the excuse barrel.
“It’s no imposition, believe me. There’s plenty of room up top to tie on both trees, and our kids really seem to have hit it off.” He punctuated his statement with a light tap on her knee, which startled her. A funny shower of sparks moved down her leg where he had touched her, despite the barrier of the lightweight tights she wore, and her cheeks felt warm all of a sudden.
What the heck?
Now, three faces stared at her expectantly. She wanted to be mad that she’d once again been railroaded into a shared activity with this man she barely knew, but part of her could see the humor in it too. The two kids really did get along great. And it wasn’t like she had anything definite planned for the next two weeks off, other than the party at the senior center and opening gifts on Christmas morning. She could afford to take part in a tree-cutting expedition with Spencer and his father, for Jasmine’s sake. It was clear that Charles wasn’t going to do anything special for her.
“Okay,” she said, letting a reluctant smile touch her lips. To her surprise, the smile began to widen and feel natural, as if she really was looking forward to the trip.
The kids cheered and hugged each other, making Sunny feel guilty that she had even considered depriving Jasmine of a fun time with a friend. The smile still on her face, she turned and set her gaze once more on the dazzling lights of Peacock Lane.
“Great!” Ben said. “It’s gonna be a blast.”
* * * *
They’d arranged to meet on Sunday morning at her house, which turned out to be just a few blocks from his. It made sense that she would live in the same neighborhood where she taught school—his neighborhood—but Ben found himself fascinated by the idea that they had lived so close together all this time and never met.
He remembered the feeling of kismet he’d experienced that day at Mr. Toad’s, the chill that had moved over him when she said she taught at Spencer’s school. Now to find out they were neighbors only added to the attraction that was building in him.
Was it a real attraction, he wondered, or was he just desperate for things to get back to some semblance of normalcy? He’d been asking himself that question since the trip to Peacock Lane Friday night, continuing to test the hypothesis by imagining himself with other women. The result was always the same—when he thought about kissing Sunny, his body responded in an unmistakable way, and he was filled with excitement and optimism again. When he tried to picture himself with one of his co-workers or the cute barista at the local Starbucks, or the nice young widow his mother had tried to fix him up with last month, he went right back to feeling like a dried-up husk of a man.
By Sunday morning he had come face-to-face with it: he had it pretty bad for her.
Wasn’t it way too soon for him to be feeling so turned on? So excited about the future? Had it been that way with Corinne too? To be honest, he couldn’t remember. He and Corinne had met in their freshman year of college, introduced by mutual friends. When he thought back, it was as if they had always been together, like an inseparable pair of comfortable old shoes.
The way he felt about Sunny was definitely different than that.
He slowed as he neared the address she’d given him, then he saw Jasmine waiting on the sidewalk outside a yellow bungalow shadowed by a huge fir tree. When she spotted the SUV, she ran inside, but was back at the curb by the time he pulled up and parked.
It had snowed lightly overnight, dusting the ground and rooftops like confectioner’s sugar. There was just enough snow to be pretty and festive without causing issues with driving, or necessitating boots, and the skies had partially cleared, allowing bright white sunlight to peek through.
“Wait here, kiddos,” he said as Jasmine clamored into the back seat.
He rounded the rear of the car just as Sunny came out of the front door of the house and turned to lock it behind her. She was dressed in jeans and a hooded parka, the hood laying back on her shoulders. Her black hair glistened in the sunlight, and a pair of dark glasses hid her eyes. Over one arm was the handle of a large picnic basket.
She smiled broadly. “I made sandwiches,” she called as she came toward him.
“Great! Thank you!” He took the basket and held the passenger door open for her as she got in. As he went around to stow the basket behind the back seat, his heart began to pound. Something had changed, hadn’t it? The other night it had been like pulling teeth to get her to agree to come today. But there she was making her own contribution to the festivities. That was a good sign, right?
He lifted the lid of the basket for a quick peek. Oh, man! These were no ordinary, slapped-together, Wonder Bread sandwiches. Made on long, crusty bakery rolls, they were closely wrapped in plastic, but he could make out several layers of meats and cheeses, lettuce and pickles too. Nestled next to the sandwiches was a big baggie full of chocolate chip cookies that looked homemade. And there was also a thick, blue thermos and four plastic cups. If the time and care she’d taken in preparing the lunch was any indication of her interest in their friendship, things were beginning to look very promising!
He broke into a happy whistled rendition of Let It Snow as he closed the trunk and headed around toward the driver’s side.
The trip through Portland and across the Columbia River to the small town of Brush Prairie, Washington, took nearly an hour. On the way, they must have sung Jingle Bells at least twenty times. In between, they took turns trying to name all of Santa’s reindeer and the gifts from The Twelve Days of Christmas song. Sunny was the only one who could name them all in order. Being a grade school teacher, she had a natural advantage at that type of game.
Several times during the singing she laughed out loud. Ben glanced her way, trying to gauge whether she was genuinely having a good time. He couldn’t see her eyes behind the dark glasses, but her smile seemed real enough.
As they left the freeway behind and meandered down a series of curving country roads, snowflakes began to drift down here and there. The kids pressed their noses to the windows, watching the little flurries.
“Do you think we’ll get stuck out here, Mama?” Jasmine asked, a note of anxiety in her voice.
Sunny pointed toward the south. “See the sun peeking through over there? These clouds aren’t thick enough to make very much snow at all. We have nothing to worry about.”
“That’s good. Who would feed Mr. Trix if we got stuck in the snow?”
Sunny laughed softly. “Mr. Trix would be fine on his own for a day or two.”
“Who’s Mr. Trix?” Ben asked.
“Our cat.”
Ben felt a prick of anxiety. He was allergic to some cats. Hopefully, Sunny’s Mr. Trix was kept outdoors. As he realized that he’d been envisioning himself as a guest in her home, he chuckled to himself. To be perfectly honest, he’d been imagining her inviting him into her bed. Talk about jumping the gun!
Promising himself to rein in his wild imagination, he made the turn into the front gates of the tree farm. The place was bustling. Off to the left, the large parking area was full of cars. Nearby was
a platform where several people waited for the next hay wagon ride to load up. Several graveled roads led away, one toward a huge old gray barn in the near distance and the others into the expansive tree farm itself.
He hadn’t come here last year. To appease Corinne’s request for a tree, he’d bought their fir at the supermarket. But things here looked much the same as they had the year before that. Suddenly a tug of sadness grabbed at him. Was it wrong to bring Spencer back to the place they’d come to when his mother was alive? Would the boy even remember? He’d been only three.
He checked the rearview mirror. Spencer sat up straight, his eyes darting around, a happy grin on his face. He seemed oblivious to any sad associations, thank God. Only Ben himself had any attachment to this place. He’d come here with his parents and sister when he was a boy, so it was only natural to want to share that tradition with Corinne, and now with Sunny and Jasmine.
“Shall we cut our trees first? Then we can eat lunch and go on a hay ride to the barn. They have a nice petting zoo inside.”
“That sounds perfect,” Sunny said. “And I always travel with hand sanitizer for just such occasions.”
He barked a laugh and she turned and raised one perfect brow at him.
“That’s funny why?”
“Aren’t you being a bit paranoid?”
“Listen, when you’ve seen how one little cold can spread like wildfire through a classroom, you don’t mess around.” She softened her statement with a smile. “Baby farm animals may be cute, but they’re germy too, like it or not.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ve never thought about it.”
“I bet your wife did.” Her words were followed by a soft gasp as her hand flew to cover her lips. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Her words hadn’t shocked him, since he’d just been thinking of Corinne himself, but he could see that Sunny felt uncomfortable. “Don’t worry about it. On second thought, I do remember her always carrying a bottle of sanitizer in her purse.”
“Most moms do.”
As they talked, he’d been nosing the SUV down one of the graveled roads between the long rows of trees. Here and there, other vehicles were pulled off to the side, and they could see small groups of people amongst the trees.
“What’s your favorite? Noble, Grand, or Douglas?” he asked.
“Noble.”
“Mine too. This section to our left looks like it has some nice ones.”
“All right.”
He pulled over and parked.
“Can we get out now?” Spencer asked.
“Yes. But stay together and stay within sight of us, okay?”
“No running off, do you understand?” Sunny reiterated. “And pull your caps over your ears. It’s cold out there.”
The children scooted out of the car and ran ahead down the row of trees. Their brightly colored caps were visible long after they were out of earshot.
“There they go,” Sunny observed, unbuckling her seat belt.
“They’ll be okay. The whole place is fenced. They can’t really get lost.”
“So you say.”
* * * *
Sunny got out without waiting for Ben to come around and open her door. She straightened and stretched her legs, slightly stiff after the hour in the car. Actually, the time had gone rather quickly, her heart warmed by the uninterrupted grin on Jasmine’s face every time she turned to check on her. She hadn’t seen her daughter so relaxed and happy since before Charles left.
I’m glad I decided to come.
The realization caught her off guard. Yesterday she’d seriously debated calling Ben Stillman and making an excuse. It would have been an easy thing to invent a sudden church commitment or a case of sniffles for Jasmine. She even got so far as to look up his number in the phone book, surprised to see how close by he lived. But then she began to really listen to Jasmine’s happy chatter about seeing her new friend, and her excitement at the idea of exploring a country tree farm, and she realized she couldn’t disappoint her little girl. She needed to choose to be happy about the outing, even if hanging out with some white guy she barely knew wasn’t at the top of her list of favorite things.
She’d never dated outside her race before.
Wait a minute. This isn’t a date, is it?
Alarm bells had begun to clang in the back of her mind. Charles had only moved out last summer. It was way too soon to be thinking about getting romantically involved again. And if she did start dating again, there was no way she would sign on for all the problems that came with an interracial relationship. Her close friend, LaRonda, had dated out, and the experiment had turned out to be a cultural minefield. No thanks!
So it was good that this wasn’t a date, Sunny decided.
This was just a couple of people sharing a ride to the tree farm so their kids could have a good time. She was grateful to the man for including Jasmine in Spencer’s holiday activities. The least she could do was to get in the spirit of the season. So she’d baked her famous oatmeal-chocolate chip-cranberry cookies, made some sub sandwiches, and fixed a thermos of hot cocoa. Then she’d showered and put on comfy jeans and a sweater.
At the mirror, she debated whether or not to wear makeup. She wouldn’t want the man to get ideas by getting too dolled up. On the other hand, she almost always did wear a bit of makeup, even on weekends. What was the harm in accenting her lips and eyes? It didn’t have to mean anything.
But as she brushed mascara on her lashes, she caught herself smiling at her reflection. Smiling! Truth be told, she’d noticed Ben staring at her a couple of times, and the look on his face had been one of frank male appreciation. Could you blame a girl for responding to that, even if the man was not date material? Surely there was no harm in wanting to look her best.
The sound of the trunk slamming shut brought Sunny’s attention back to the present moment. Ben held up the saw he’d taken out of the SUV. “Shall we?” His breath created a little sunlit cloud.
She followed him down the narrow path the kids had taken. Ahead, she could see Jasmine’s bright red cap bobbing in and out of the rows of trees, and strains of the children’s excited voices came to her on the still, cold air. A few straggling flakes of dry snow sifted down, lending a sense of magic to the scene. The flakes collected on Ben’s hair and the shoulders of his dark coat. She flipped up her own hood.
“You should be wearing a hat,” she said.
He half turned as he walked, and threw her a wide grin. “I like roughing it.”
As he turned away again, her gaze returned to his shoulders. She hadn’t really noticed before now, but he was well built, with a broad upper torso and a nice, rounded butt that looked great in the faded jeans he wore. Those jeans also hinted at muscular thighs and calves. And he was tall too. Not overly so, but enough that she would be able to wear three-inch heels and still look up into his eyes.
Those blue eyes. Where stormy skies and sunlit seas seemed to meet and blend.
Not that she was noticing.
She gave a soft gasp. When had that happened? When had she begun to feel drawn to Ben Stillman?
He stopped and turned again, a look of concern on his face. “You okay?”
“Yes. Fine.”
They stood facing each other, maybe two feet between them. Thank God for the dark glasses. It would be just like her to be awkwardly obvious about her attraction to him. She’d never been good at hiding her feelings, except maybe from herself. But now that the cat was out of the bag, she was forced to acknowledge a powerful response to his nearness. Her heart thumped against her breastbone as she stood there, her brain madly processing that disturbing bit of information.
“Having fun?”
How could she not smile back? The man’s joy was expansive and contagious.
“Yes.”
“The kids are loving it too. It’s great to see Spencer having such a good time.”
They both watched the children for a moment and then he pointed ahead. �
��There are some nice six-footers over in that area. Or do you want something taller?”
“Six feet would be perfect.”
Within a half hour they had located two nicely shaped trees. Sunny watched as Ben took a pair of well-worn leather gloves from his coat pocket and put them on, then grasped the saw with authority and went to work at the base of the first tree trunk. The children danced around him.
“I want to help cut the tree down, Dad.”
Ben stopped sawing and looked up, appearing to take Spencer’s offer seriously. “That’s great, buddy. I sure could use your muscles on the other end of this saw. Use both hands now. That’s right. Okay, when I push, you pull.” Although the cooperative effort slowed down the process somewhat, the grin never left Ben’s face, and when the first tree toppled, he joined the kids in a rousing cheer.
“I want to help cut our tree,” Jasmine said.
Expecting Ben to try and dissuade her, Sunny was surprised when he helped Jasmine position her small hands on the saw, and patiently instructed her how to move in time with him. Together they worked to bring down the tree. The look of triumph on Jasmine’s face was priceless.
Charles never would have encouraged her to help.
Not only that, but Ben seemed just as thrilled with their joint accomplishment as Jasmine was. He seemed to be perpetually plugged into a source of youthful enthusiasm that was very different from the immaturity she had first suspected. She’d misjudged him, she could see that now.
“I should have brought my camera,” Sunny mused.
“How about your cellphone?”
“I left it in the car.”
“Use mine.” He took his phone from his pocket, poked a couple of spots on the screen, and handed it to her. It was still warm from his body.
He called to the kids. “Come here, you lumberjacks.” Putting his arms around their shoulders, he gathered them close.
As Sunny lined up the shot on the screen, she felt a sudden lump in her throat. Jasmine’s little face was positively glowing.